anent discerning the tyms, . . . and I desird to examin it aright. Ther is in it a casting loos off all ordour and ordinances, a judgment of the estat and constitution of Churches and members. Oh! for grace to discern and

"trie the spirit[s]."

I indeavourd to persuad Sir Jh. Smyth to dissent with the rests; and I desir this may be noe snar to me.

I heard that it was said, the indemniti, and the fyning wer to be remitted to another tym. Great ar the confusions, disordours, darknes that we ar under; non knows how long. I went abroad with Leathin, and we worshipd God together when we returnd.

29.-Die Dom. I found bodili infirmitie upon me which did hinder me from the publick worship efternoon. I found my inclination pron to lean to frets and superstitious observations; but it's thy Word which I wil hav recours to, for light to direct my steps.

30.-Moortoun dind with me. I found that the Register had alienated Ladi Midlt[on] from making use of me in M[orton] his buisines with Panmoor; and I reuerenced the Lord's prouidenc in it. Thogh they hav don it for ill, and not for good, perchanc, unbeknown to me, He may turn it to good.

July 1.—I heard of the differs falling in betuix my Son and Granghill, by letters from my daughter and her husband. This is a new trial, which the Lord is raising up against me, that my comforts, and they who might and should affoord any consolation to me, they ar made my greif and exercis.

I heard that ther was eucl determind against me. I desird to ador the Lord in it, and to reverenc and submit unto his will, for good and holie is it. I see noe means to eschew it. Let him prepar me for it ; for I committ myself, and my cause to God. It wer just with the Lord to do it, for my unthankfulnes, barrenes, nigardlines, straitnednes. Becaus I hav not imployd my welth to and for the Lord in charitabl uses, therfor does the Lord tak other ways mor greivous to me to scatter what I have sinfullie kept in.

I heard that ther was great nois about Lethin's remission, and it was lyk to be brangled: that Tarbet was violent to hav it recald. I was much affected with it, but desird to cast my care upon God.

a Or freits,' omens.

b

"Brangled,"-confused, complicated.

I heard lykwys of ther purposes against my self, and I adord the Lord in it, and resignd myself and what concerns me to him. I diu'd with Innes, and heard that the Comissioner was not lyk to consent to the petition for the exemptions, so that nothing seims to prosper; yet God is true and just, shall I not say, and kind to Israel.

3.—It was rain al day. Cromarti did see me; but I found him not free as to me. I heard from my Daughter, that she would come south with my Sone.

4. I did see a letter from London, shewing that ther had been much noice about Leathin's remission. The K[ing] did as yet stick to it; but it would light heavie on B. The Comissioner and they saw the letter.

I found my friends failing; and they had not the confidenc or the courage to moue ani thing that might displeas others either for my rept. [respite] or the public. In this I desir to aknouledg and ador the Lord.

5.-This day I was induc'd to goe with Spinie to Aberdour and with reluctanci; for I did not perceav what call or warrand I could hav by him to goe to another man's hous. Let it be noe snar, or imputed as sin. I did meit my Son and his wyf in the way, and was surpriz'd with ther so coming, yet desirs to reverenc the good providenc of God.

...

7.—I returnd to Edinburgh, having heard som report from Mr. Alexr. Coluil of the witches he had causd to be apprehended and brunt. Bp. Haliburton of Dunkeldb cam over with us. I desird to consider and be instructed. My Son and his wyf went out to Newbotl. Oh! Sathan's buisi with thes poor children of myn.

C

I desird to reflect on the Lord's dealing with Lorn, and leaving and that his infirmitie and imprudenc, throgh God's permission and prouidenc, has broght him to this troubl. 1. — - alac! I fear not. 2. Why may he not in justice even so break doun as never to rais again? 3. Is the Lord intending by? 4. In what befalls him, is the Lord intending to humble 5. Is it that others? 6. Is it to? 7. Is it to bring yet lower, that his power and merci may be mor magnified in lifting up? 8. Is it that he may be soght unto, and to waken them and others?

9. Is it a preludium of that which Thou art to bring on others of us? 10. Is it that Thou will not be intreated for him, and that familie? 11. Will thou hav them a becon, quhen judgment begins at them? Oh! Lord teach me, for Thou knows I am without understanding.

8.-I did employ Sir James Stewart to speak to Register anent me, and to allay him; but he told me he could effectuat nothing, for he was implacable, and so impatient and furious that he would not admit ani speich or discours off me, but I behoud to be find: and it was lyk few but thes would be deipli fynd. I desird to reverenc the Lord's providenc, and to ador His wisdom, righteousness, and holiness, in what befalls me.

11. I went to Bogie, and found noe comfort in my voyage. He exprest noe favour to me or my caus, nor my freinds; was irritat against Francis ; and purposd to hav all exemptions and precepts recall'd. . . . Sick lyk, I heard that, if the remission stood, they wer to lay an unsupportable ham[m]er on me.

12. I did meit with the Bishop of St. Androes, and recommended my cace to him. He said, he should doe what he could. I sayd, I should not put an il caus in his hand: I should not be found seditious or troublsom. My cariag in the publick was known: thes of 49 wer not greater opposers against the King then the Parliament befor, which had transcended 49 by mani degrees, and therfor should not be stigmatizd mor then other parties that wer involvd in the common calamiti. I said, I would onli hav his assistanc to deliver and free me from oppressions and malice. He said, he thoght himself bound to doe for me or ani to deliver them [from that] which I cald oppression and malic. I said, I was far from fastening oppression on anie or malic, or violenc, but to be freed from being soe dealt with, and to hav it prevented; for iff the Register and the Commissioner had determind once against me, I shold then reverenc what they did as justice, and should be loth to giv that nam to ani thing that proceeded from them. He advizd me to speik to the Bp. of Glasgow and Ross; which I desir to examin, and to doe in it as God will asist me. Cochran, and he promisd much.

I spok lykwys with

15.—I heard that the King had recal'd the remission to Leathin, ; &c. had thankd the Commissioner for stopping it, and left them to censure. Soe that al seimd to be ouerturnd, and our pains lost, and our confusions increasd.

I heard the Commissioner said I was fals, and pretended freindship to him, quhil I was plotting to his hurt with Latherdaill: that I was disingenuous. I desird to examin my hart with such honesti and simpliciti as I could; and albeit I had manifold infirmities, yet the chalendg was fals, for I dealt not falsli. I never had the least correspondenc with Latherdaill. Lord! thou knows if I be, and if I knew or heard frome him ani thing of ther differs or designs, or if I consulted with him. I said noe more, but that I had my dependenc on him, and had it not bein so I had not gon to that place; and I did fare the wors for Morton's buisiness.

Lord keep me from framing answers to miss intent, but to have the ansuer, not of a doubl conscienc, but of a good conscienc. His personal good I soght it, and would hav soght it mor then I had caus, or could hav don, perchanc with a good conscienc; for his courses I durst never approve. If I coverd my dislyk of his courses, let not this be imputed to me; for I did not profess the dislyk which I did bear in my hart to his ways.

I begg grace of God to examin my sinceritie, and to discern quharin I hav dealt falslie with him. . . . The Register lykways against quhom my offence was more (and the Lord has punished it), whither it was officiousnes, hastines, or som other selfish respect, mixd with lov to Lorn, I cannot clean myself. But, 1. Ther was sin in my telling. 2. Imprudene that I soght not leav. 3. Indiscretion. 4. And a trespas against Register in my opening foolishlie what he said without a saluo. 5. Thogh ther was much added falsli which I neuer spok, yet something I denied which I had spok. But all is forgotten. I desir to mourn under this.

I did see the Bishop of Dumblean and found him affected with our distempers. I did see Mr. D. Dickson, and found him under som darkness as to the publik: That evri one behoved to stand by themselvs and ther oun light. Alac! our Sun is doun upon our prophets. I saw Mr. Jafray, and reflected on the Couenant. We agreed, 1. It was not Scriptur, nor deliverd by men unfallibl or diuinlie and immediatli inspird, but by men of infirmities; yet by good men that had good ends, but could not forsee all inconveniences, snars, and caces, which might occur. 2. Some things wer moral, therfor lawful, being cleir and definit. 3. Som things wer indifferent and in our power. Thes we wer bound to. 4. Som things unlawful, and we wer bound to repent of this.

God's name was interposd, and therfor not lightli to be broken and shaken

of, least He hold us to be guilti. Wer it to swear again, it would stumble mani of us, seing quhat has ensewd.

1 spok with Mr. Huths. [Hutchison], and he told me the ministers of Edinburgh had refusd to aknouledg the Bishops. He did presage their ruin ; and told me of som visions in Irland. I feared this good man, and I besoght the Lord for him. I saw the Bishop off Glasgow, and sollicited him; but I found lit by him.

17-The Lord Lorn was committed to clos prison. Oh! this does afflict my soul, his sufferings, and that I cannot see him or be comfortabl to him. I desird to be instructed by this. . . . It's observabl how much he sufferd for the King by the usurpers; the danger that his lyf was in by them; and now that he suffers by the King's authoritie. This is a providenc not to be neglected. Oh! a good conscienc in suffering is of great worth.

18. I was spoken to put my son in my estat, and I desir in this to be guided and counseld by the Lord, for I depend on Him. If this be the mean or way by which He thinks fitt to ridd me of this hatred and malice, I am willing (if the Lord allow) to imbrac it.

19.-Mr. Jafray staid with me efternoon: he reasond much anent the corruption and sinfulnes of our constitution of Church members, ordination, and ordinances, as being derived from Rome, Antichrist, the mother of harlots. I did hold that our constitution was lawful, warrantabl; and albeit deriud from Ps. [Papists], Rom then was a church, tho' corrupt, unsound, diseasd, full of form, &c., and aboue al Israel in ther defection to idolatrie and gentilisme, yet not unchurch'd.

Innes and Crom[artie] cam to me to speak of what concernd myself; but small incouradgment did I reaceav from them or ther counsel.

22.-I met with Mr. Douglas, and heard that ther was a purpos to put out the honest ministers of Edinburgh, and that others wer broght to fill ther places. This struck me verie deip with troubl and greif.

24. I did in the efternoon meet Sir Jh. Chislie. He told me that I was reported a great liar, and not ingenious. This did leav a great weight on my spirit. I desird to be abasd under it befor the Lord.

This night I had an afflicting dream which troubld my spirit: That I was going throgh and riding near a great deep, broad water; but it was still. My hors did drink, and I did interupt him that I might win throgh.