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A MEDICINE FOR THE LADIES.

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• Hey ! hoop! d'ye hear, my damn'd obstrep'rous

spouse! • What can't you find one bed about the house? . Will that perpetual clack Jie never still?. • That rival to the softness of a mill! • Some couch and distant room must be my choice, • Where I may sleep uncurs'd with wife and noise.'

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Long this uncomfortable life they led,
With snarling meals, and each a seperate bed.
To an old uncle oft she would complain,
Beg his advice, and scarce from tears refrain.
Old Wisewood smok'd the matter as it was ;
• Cheer up” cried hé, . and I'll remove the cause ;

A wond'rous spring within my garden flows,
Of sov'reign virtue, chiefly to compose
* Domestic jars, and matrimonial strife,

The best elixir t appease man and wife ; Strange are th' effects, the qualities divine; • 'Tis water call’d, but worth its weight in wine : • If in his sullen airs, Sir John should come, Three spoonfulls take, hold in your mouth-ther

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• Smile and look pleas'd, when he shall rage and

scold, *Still in your mouth the healing cordial hold; • One month this sympathetic ined'cine tryód, • He'll grow a lover, you a happy bride : • But dearest niece, keep this grand secret close, * Or ev'ry prattling bussey 'll beg a dose.' A water-bottle's brought for her relief ; Not Nantz could sooner ease the ladies grief : Her busy thoughts are on the trial bent, And, female-like, impatient for th' event. The bonny knight reels home, exceeding clear, Prepar'd for clamour, and domestic war. Entering, he cries---Hey where's our thunder fled?

C.

BATTLE OF THE KEGS.

• No Hurricane? Betty's your lady dead?
Madam, asi de, an ample mouthful takes,
Curtsies, looks kind, but not a word she speaks.
Wond'ring he star'd, scarcely his eyes believ'd,
But found his ears agreeably deceiv’d.
Why, how now Molly, what's the crotchet now?
She smiles, and answers only with a bow.
Then clasping her about-- Why let me die!
• These night-clothes Moll, become you mightily!
With that he sigh'd her hand began to press,
And Betty calls, her lady to undress.
Thus the fond pair to bed enamour'd went,
The lady pleas’d, and the good ķnight content.
For many days these fond endearments passid,
The reconciling bottle fails at last ;
'Twas us'd and gone--then midnight storms arose,
And looks and words the union discompose.
Her coach is order'd, and post-haste she flies
To beg her uncle for some fresh supplies ;
Transported does the strange effects relate,
Her knight's conversion and her happy state!
Why niece,' says he, “I prithee apprehend,
• The water 's water--be thyself thy friend ;
• Such beauty would the coldest husband warm,
• But your provoking tongưe undoes the charm ;

Be silent and complying--you 'll soon find, • Sir John, without a med'cine, will be kind.

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BATTLE OF THE KEGS

(F. HOPKINSON) GALLANTS, attend. and hear a friend,

Trill forth harmonious ditty : Strange things I'll tell, which late befel

In Philadelphia city.

BATTLE OF THE KEGS.

Twas early day, as poets say,

Just when the sun was rising,
A soldier stood on a log of wood,

And saw a sight surprising.
As in amaze, he stood to gaze,

(The truth can't be denied, sir, He spied a score of XEGs or more

Come floating down the tide, sir. A sailor, too, in jerkin blue,

The strange appearance viewing, First damn’d his eyes, in great surprise;

Then said, some mischief's brewing. *These KEGS now hold the rebels bold,

• Pack'd up like pickled herring; * And they're come down t attack the town

• In this new way of ferry'ng.' The soldier flew-the sailor too

And, scar'd almost to death, sir,
Wore out their shoes, to spread the news ;

And ran till out of breath, sir.
Now up and down, throughout the town,

Most frantic scenes were acted:
And some ran here, and some ran there,

Like men almost distracted.
Some · Fire' cry'd; which some deny'd,

But said the earth had quaked:
And girls and boys with hideous noise,

Ran through the town balf naked.
Sir William* he, snug as a flea,

Lay all this time a snoring;
Nor dreamt of harm, as he lay warm

In bed with Mrs. L

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* Sir William Howe.

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BATTLE OF TIIE KEGS.

Now in a fright, he starts upright,

Awak'd by such a clatter:
He rubs both eyes ; and boldly cries,

•For God's sake, what's the matter At his bed-side, he then espy'd

Sir Erskine* at command, sir ; Upon one foot, he had one boot,

And t' other in his hand, sir. • Arise! arise!' sir Erskine cries:

The rebels—more 's the pity • Without a boat, are all on float,

. And rang d before the city. • The motley crew in vessels new,

• With Satan for their guide, sir, • Pack'd up in bags, or wooden KEGS

Come driving down the tide, sir. Therefore, prepare for bloody war:

“These kegs must all be routed: Or surely we, despis'd shall be,

• And British courage doubted.' The royal band; now ready stand,

All rang’d in dread array, sir ;
With stomachs stout to see it out,

And make a bloody day, sir.
The cannons roar, from shore to shore;

The small arms make a rattle.
Since war 's began, I'm sure no man

E’er saw so strange a battle. The rebelt vales, the rebel dales,

With rebel trees surrounded,

• Sir William Erskine.

| The British officers were so fond of the word rebel, that they often applied it most absurdly,

THE NEW-ENGLAND SABBATH-DAY CHACE. *

The distant woods, the hills and floods,

With rebel echoes sounded.
The fish below swam to and fro,

Attack'd from ev'ry quarter:
Why sure,' thought they, the dev'l's to pay

Mongst folks above the water.'
The KEGS, 'tis said, though strongly made

Of rebel staves and hoops, sir,
Could not oppose their powerful foes,

The conqu’ring British troops, sir.
From morn to night, those men of might

Display'd amazing courage ;
And when the sun was fairly down,

Retir'd to sup their porridge.
An hundred men with each a pen,

Or more, upon my word, sir,
It is most true, would be too few,

Their valour to record, sir.
Such feats did they perform that day,

Upon those wicked Keys, sir,
That years to come, if they get home,

They'll make their boasts and brags, sir.

NEW ENGLAND SABBATH-DAY CHACE.

(P. FRENEAU.)

On a fine Sunday morning I mounted my steed And southward from HARTFORD had meant to pro

ceed ; My baggage was stow'd in a cart very snug, Which RANGER, the gelding, was destined to lug; .

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