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the Watch, therefore bear you the lanthorn; this is your charge : you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are to bid any man stand, in the Prince's name.
2 Watch. How if he will not stand ?
Dogb. Why, then take no note of him, but let him go ; and presently call the rest of the Watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave.
Verg. If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the Prince's Subjects.
Dogb. True, and they are to meddle with none but the Prince's Subjects: you shall also make no noise in the streets ; for, for the Watch to babble and talk, is most tolerable, and not to be endur'd.
2 Watch. We will rather sleep than talk; we know what belongs to a Watch.
Dogb. Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I cannot see how Sleeping should offend; only have a care that your Bills be not stolen : well, you are to call at all the ale-houses, and bid them that are drunk get them to bed.
2 Watch. How if they will not?
Dogb. Why then let them alone 'till they are sober; if they make you not then the better answer, you may say, they are not the men you took them for.
2 Watch. Well, Sir.
Dogb. If you meet a thief, you may suspect him by vertue of
office to be no true man; and for such kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them, why, the more is for your honesty.
2 Watch. If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him ?
Dogb. Truly, by your office you may; but, I think, they that touch pitch will be defil'd: the most peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is, to let him shew himself what he is, and steal out of your company.
Verg. You have been always call'd a merciful man, Partner.
Dogb. Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him.
Verg. If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse and bid her still it.
2 Watch. How if the nurse, be alleep, and will not hear us?
Dogb. Why, then depart in Peace, and let the child wake her with crying: for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes, will never answer a calf when he bleats.
Verg. 'Tis very true.
Dogb. This is the end of the charge: you, constable, are to present the Prince's own person; if you meet the Prince in the night, you may stay him.
Verg. Nay, birlady, that, I think, he cannot.
Dogb. Five shillings to one on't with any man that knows the Statues, he may stay him; marry, not without the Prince be willing for, indeed, the Watch ought to offend no man; and it is an offence to stay a man against his will.
Verg. Birlady, I think, it be so.
Dogb. Ha, ha, ha! well, masters, good night; an there be any matter of weight chances, call up me ; keep your fellow's counsels and your own, and good night; come, neighbour.
2 Watch. Well, masters, we hear our charge ; let us go fit hear
the church-bench 'till two, and then ail to bed.
Dogb. One word more, honest neighbours. I pray you, watch about Signior Leonato's door, for the Wedding being there to-morrow, there is a great coil to night ; adieu ; be vigilant, I beseech you.
[Exeunt Dogberry and Verges.
Enter Borachio and Conrade.
Bora. Mass, and my elbow itch'd, I thought there would a scab follow.
Conr. I will owe thee an answer for that, and now forward with thy tale.
Bora. Stand thee close then under this pent-house, for it drizzles rain, and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to thee.
Watch. Some Treason, masters; yet stand close.
Bora. Therefore know, I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats.
Conr. Is it possible that any Villány should be fo dear?
Bora. Thou should'ft rather ask, if it were possible any villain should be so rich ? for when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will
Conr. I wonder at it.
Bora. That shews, thou art unconfirm'd; thou knoweft, that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak is nothing to a man.
Conr. Yes, it is apparel.
Bora. Tush, I may as well say, the fool's the Fool; but feest thou not, what a deformed thief this fashion is ?
Watch. I know that Deformed; he has been a vile thief these seven years ; he goes up and down like a gentleman: I remember his name. Bora. Didst thou not hear some body?
Conr. No, 'twas the vane on the house.
Bora. Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is ? how giddily he turns about all the hot-bloods between fourteen and five and thirty, sometimes, fashioning them like Pharao's foldiers in the reachy Painting ; sometimes, like the God Bel's priests in the old church-window; fometimes, like the shaven Hercules in the smirch worm-eaten tapeftry, where his codpiece seems as maffy as his club.
Conr. All this I see, and see, that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man; but art not thou thyself giddy with the falhion too, that thou haft shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion?
Bora. Not so neither; but know, that I have to night wooed Margaret, the Lady Hero's Gentlewoman, by the name of Hero; she leans me out at her mistress's chamber-window, bids me a thousand times good night-I tell this tale vilely-I should first tell thee, how the Prince, Claudio, and my master, planted and placed, and possessed by my master Don John, saw a far off in the orchard this amiable encounter.
Conr. And thought they, Margaret was Hero?
Bora. Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio; but the devil my master knew, he was Margaret; and partly by his oaths, which first poffest them, partly by the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly by my villany, which did confirm any slander that Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged ; swore, he would meet her as he was apa. pointed next morning at the Temple, and there before the whole Congregation shame her with what he saw o'er night, and send her home again without a husband.
1 Watch. We charge you in the Prince's name, stand.
2 Watch. Call up the right master constable; we have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the common-wealth.
1.Watch. And one Deformed is one of them ; I know him, he wears a lock.
Conr. Masters, masters,
2 Watch. You'll be made bring Deformed forth, I warrant you.
1 Watch. Never speak; we charge you, let us obey you to go with us.
Bora. We are like to prove a goodly Commodity, being taken up of these men's bills.
Conr. A commodity in question, I warrant you: come, we'll obey you.
Hero. G defire her
Hero's Apartment in Leonato's House.
defire her to rise.
Hero. No, pray thee, good Meg, I'll wear this.
Marg. By my troth, it's not so good; and I warrant, your coufin will say so.
Hero. My cousin's a fool, and thou art another. I'll wear none but this.
Marg. I like the new tire within excellently, if the hair were a thought browner; and your gown's a most rare fashion, i'faith. I saw the Dutchess of Milan's gown, that they praise so.
Hero. O, that exceeds, they say.
Marg. By my troth, it's but a night-gown in respect of yours ; cloth of gold and cuts, and lac’d