faculty, without one friend on earth to take its part and be a second, should dispute with a pair at once, is as if one poor bloodhound should engage with a couple of mastiffs; or that a man should fight a gentleman and his lackey, or with a single rapier against sword and pistol: it is very foul play, and standers by should interpose, so hard are the terms of this debate; but there is no help for it: these two fast friends can scarce be parted, and are seldom found asunder; they must rise and fall together. My lord Bacon used to say, very familiarly, "When I rise,

my arises with me." I ask pardon for the rudeness of the allusion; but it is certain that the canon law is but the tail, the fagend, or footman, of the civil, and, like vermin in rotten wood, rose in the church in the age of its corruption, and when it wanted physick to purge it.

But I am weary of proving so plain a point. To me it is clear beyond contradiction, that the antiquity and dignity of physick do give it the precedence of civil law and its friend. I could here very easily stop the mouths of ecclesiastical civilians, by an example or two of great authority; but I hope they will take the hint, and save me the trouble and for layprofessors, I will only say, he that is not convinced, has little sense, not only of religion (perhaps that is their least consideration), but of good manners and loyalty, and good fellowship. The blood of the de Medicis flows in the best veins in Europe; and I know not how far any slight offered to the faculty may exasperate the present king of France, or the grand duke, to a resentment prejudicial to our wines,

*

See the history of the house of MEDICIS.

2

and

and the publick peace, and the present posture of affairs. All that love their country, and right good Florence, will perceive by this on which side of the argument they ought to appear.

And now, for the universal peace of mankind, I make the following rule, to be observed by all professors in each faculty, and their understrappers: I decree, that a doctor of physick shall take place of a doctor of laws; a surgeon, of an advocate; an apothecary, of a proctor of office; and a toothdrawer, of a register in the court. I intended this for a parallel; but here it fails me, and the lines meet *.

I shall now only observe farther, that as the case seems desperate on the side of civilians in point of reason, so I hear they have another game to play, and are for appealing to authority; as I have known a schoolboy, fairly beaten at cuffs, run with a bloody nose to complain to his master. I am credibly informed, there is a design on foot to bring in heads of a bill in favour of civilians, next session of parliament; but how generous that sort of proceeding is, I leave the world to judge. I am but one; and will certainly oppose any such motion in my place; though, from the number of civilians in the house, I have reason to apprehend, it will be to little purpose. The college, a true alma mater, has dubbed most of us doctors, and has been more wise than christian in her favours of that kind; for she has not given, hoping for nothing again.

But here I enter my protest against all designs that nay any way prejudice so great and illustrious a body

Alluding to Dr. Sacheverell's mathematicks in a sermon before the university of Oxford, wherein he makes two parallel lines meet in a centre.

of men, as our college of physicians are; and I shall take care to draw out the substance of this argument, and present it, in short heads, to each member at a proper time; and not without some hopes that reason may weigh them.

In the mean time, I hope a worthy gentleman, a member of our house, will stand up on that occasion, and assert the rights of a faculty, which he has entered into, and does an honour to it must be remembered to his credit, that, being equally skilled in physick and civil law, and, perhaps, in divinity as well as either, he chose to commence in medicine, having chiefly qualified himself for that noble faculty by repeated travels, and enriched his mind with many curious observations, which the world may, in time, expect incredible benefit from.

If any man thinks fit to reply to this argument, and rectify any mistakes in it; I desire him to preserve his temper, and debate the matter with the same coolness that I have done; that no blood may be drawn in the controversy, nor any reason given me to complain of "civilis vulnera dextræ." As conviction chiefly engaged me on the side of physicians; so, in some measure, a sense of gratitude for a faculty, to which I owe the comforts of life, and perhaps life itself; having received from it unspeakable ease in the two inveterate distempers of the spleen and the gout.

THE

THE TATLER.

VOL. V. N° Í.

"Quis ergo sum saltem, si non sum Sosia? Te interrogo.”

PLAUT. AMPHYTRUO.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 13, 1710-11*.

IT is impossible perhaps for the best and wisest among us, to keep so constant a guard upon our

* Jan. 2, 1710-11, Dr. Swift tells Stella, "Steele's last Tatler came out to day. You will see it before this comes to you, and "how he takes leave of the world. He never told so much as Mr. "Addison of it, who was surprised as much as I; but, to say "truth, it was time; for he grew cruel dull, and dry. To my "knowledge, he had several GOOD HINTS to go upon; but he was "so lazy, and weary of the work, that he would not improve "them.”—Jan. 11, he adds, " I am setting up a new Tatler: "little Harrison whom I have mentioned to you. Others have "put him on it, and I encourage him; and he was with me this "morning and evening, showing me his first, which comes out on "Saturday. I doubt he will not succeed, for I do not much ap" prove his manner; but the scheme is Mr. secretary St. John's " and mine, and would have done well enough in good hands. I "recommended him to a printer, whom I sent for, and settled the "matter between them this evening. Harrison has just left me: " and I am tired with correcting his trash." In this number the judicious reader will readily recognise the letter of Humphry Wagstaff; and though the whole paper is not the production of our au thor, he at least adopted it by his corrections.

temper, but that we may at one time or other lie open to the strokes of fortune, and such incidents as we cannot foresee. With sentiments of this kind I came home to my lodgings last night, much fatigued with a long and sudden journey from the country, and full of the ungrateful occasion of it. It was natural for me to have immediate recourse to my pen and ink; but before I would offer to make use of them, I resolved deliberately to tell over a hundred, and when I came to the end of that sum, I found it more advisable to defer drawing up my intended remonstrance, till I had slept soundly on my resentments. Without any other preface than this, I shall give the world a fair account of the treatment I have lately met with, and leave them to judge whether the uneasiness I have suffered be inconsistent with the character I have generally pretended to. About three weeks since, I received an invitation from a kinsman in Staffordshire, to spend my Christmas in those parts. Upon taking leave of Mr. Morphew, I put as many papers into his hands as would serve till my return, and charged him at parting, to be very punctual with the town. In what manner he and Mr. Lillie have been tampered with since, I cannot say; they have given me my revenge, if I desired any, by allowing their names to an idle paper, that in all human probability, cannot live a fortnight to

an end.

Myself, and the family I was with, were in the midst of gayety, and a plentiful entertainment, when I received a letter from my sister Jenny, who, after mentioning some little affairs I had entrusted to her,

goes