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“ Though trembling violently in the arms of the giant-
ess, I became gradually self-assured by the sweet good-
humour of my nurse. She gazed and nodded smilingly
at me, like a girl with a new doll; and although I felt
distressed and humiliated, I nevertheless smiled - though
I fear a wan, sickly smile — in acknowledgment of her
tenderness. Then she threw me up in the air, and caught
me again in her arms. Never before had I been so far
from earth. My head swam, and my stomach - I had
that day dined off eel-pie and goose — threatened trea-
chery, when I heard a loud voice exclaim in the very
purest English, - for the Turveytopians know all the lan-
guages of the earth,—- Slut! baggage! Is that the way
to toss and jolt a new-born babe?' Holding me in
her arms, my nurse turned round, and I beheld in the
speaker a matronly giantess, with a kind, motherly coun-
tenance. “A pretty skittish thing you are to trust babies
to, she cried. Poor poppet,' — and the benevolent
gentlewoman wiped my nose, -- it doesn't look half an
hour old; and yet here you are, throwing it up and

churning its little bowels like butter.'— . La, grandmother! cried the girl, it doesn't mind it. See, if it doesn't laugh! I certainly did grin. Laugh!' said the old dame; you know-nothing hoyden! laugh! Poor little heart, it's wind.' At this, I couldn't help it, I chuckled vigorously. There ! if the dear lamb isn't choking,' cried the woman; away with it to the nursery, or you'll have its precious life upon your soul.' Instantly the girl hugged me to her bosom, cast her apron over me, and ran— I thought she flew—with all her legs. I saw nothing until the girl carried me into a spacious, lofty room, which in a moment I knew must be the nursery. There were about twenty other infants, from a day to a week old; infants I must call them, though all of them were older than myself. Some were screaming, shouting, swearing in the most shocking manner that they




were not babies, that they were men-wise, world could not believe that, for a moment, you learned, authoritative men--and wonld shake the kept such company. Oh, no! abroad in the pillars of the heavens ere they would be treated world you have all sorts of graces credited to as sucklings."

you: alack! that night-cap and sheets should, 66 And what said the nurses?" we asked. to your own conscience, make you bankrupt.

“Oh, sir! what nurses usually say at such a They make you know yourself hypocrite ; stand time. They bawled and shouted too. Then before you, even though you lie in darkness, your they called the babies' precious ducks,' dar- polished, easy, cordial, out-door self-a man lings,' apples of their eyes,’ plagues, and without a subterfuge, a soul without a meanthen precious ducks' again. There was an old

And your bead upon your pillow-if dowager from the outside world-how she had conscious blood beat at your heart-you blush ever wandered into Turveytop I know not-who, for the counterfeit you have a thousand times screaming like a catcail, begged to ask the put off upon the world, and shudder at the wretches if they knew what they were about. accusing naughtinesses about you. Peace-giving Declared that she had a son lord" chief justice, bed!

bed! It may be şo; and it may be-oh, sir !" and then desired to know if she was to be cried the sage of Bellyfulle, “ if all our faults, treated like a child."

our little tricks, our petty cozenings, our bo“ And what was the answer?” we inquired, peep moods with truth and justice, could be

None, sir,” said the Hermit-“ none, save sent upon us in the blankets all embodied, sir, that the woman who was swathing and dressing. ip fleas, how many of us of lily skins would get her, shrilly sang a nursery song, and tossed her up spotted scarlei ?about like so much pie-crust. From this, I “ But surely, sir,” said we, “you had no time found that no big words, no struggling of mine, for such remorseful thoughts in the nursery?" would prevail, and therefore meekly resigned No-not then," answered the Hermit. myself. And, sir, 1 had my reward ; for having “ Then, as I said, I took counsel with myself; been properly powdered and swaddled, my nurse and resolved, since the strangeness of my fate declared that I was the quietest dove of a babe had cast me in Turveytop, to bear with meekshe bad ever handled; quite a lamb.”

ness all that might befall me. The giant folk “ And, pray forgive the question, did they are wise, benevolent, I thought; else, wherereally give you to a wet nurse?"

fore should they seek to purge men of their They did, sir,” answered the Hermit wicked worldliness, taking them back to their smiling, “ and a very comfortable woman she first swaddling-hour, that they may learn the

It was wonderful how soon I accommo lesson of life anew? Yes; I will forget the dated myself to a milk diet. In a short time I scurvy wisdom that puffed my heart, and made seemed to have suched in a serenity of soul. me cock my cap, a knowing fellow. I will let Recovered somewhat from the amazement of the cunning, self-complacent, braggart creature the day, I took counsel with myself in bed." die here where I am, and be taken up a babyDelicious, peace-giving bed,” we cried.

yea, a very suckling.” The Hermit looked grare.

Happy is the

This, sir,” we said, “would be a rare seman,” he answered, “ who can say peace-giving cret to teach men.” bed. For oli, sir! what a rack to the spirit of “It was taught in Turveytop-truly taught; man may be found in goose-down! You do not but I know not how it was, there was something seem to apprehend me? Consider, sir, what an in the place, the people, that after a time made unavoidable self-confessional is bed. Think, sir, the most stubborn of the babes apt and cunning what it is to have our conscience put to the pupils. For myself, I resolved upon docility; ; question of goose-feathers. You are in bed, and lying where my nurse had placed me, i peace-giving bed, you say—it is deep night; bade all my rascal thoughts depart; by a strong and in that solemn pause, you seem to feel

effort of the soul kicked from my brain many a the pulse--to hear the very heart of time. You shrewd deceit, that, in former days, I had treatry to think of many things, but the spirit or sured more than gold and jewels. demon of the bed sets up yourself before your “ And so," we said, with a laugh,“ became a self-- brings all your doings to the bar of your babe again?" own conscience ; and what a set of scurvy gaul What a delicious pause was that! How birds may be among them. They peep in at

sweet that cleanliness of soul! There I lay in your curtains, crowd at the foot of your bed, thoughts of lavender; for the babihood of Turand though you burn no rushlight, you see their veytop is not like our first childhood. There, leering, sneaking faces. Alas! you cannot dis man is not a midway thing, between two mysown them: you know that some time or other teries, the cradle and the coffin. No, sir; having you have given them house-room in your soul, purged my brain of its secreted wickedness, I and like unclean things, they have repaid the was conscious of my sweet condition. I felt hospitality with defilement.

There they are,

and rejoiced in iny infancy of heart, and I have old co-mates, worn acquaintances; and yet the not forgotten its deliciousness. I was resolved



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to begin my life anew; and as a droll destiny a weazened babe-a money-lender informer had given me a nursling to the giants, I so life—was never silent but when he was allowed played my part of babihood, that my nurse out- to wear his nurse's silver thimble on his head, sounded all her gossips with my praises. Thus, he did so love the metal. Most of the children, I never cried or whimpered, but suffered myself however, lost by degrees the errors and weakto be dressed and undressed, crowing the while, nesses of their former days, and in time became and walking up my nurse's knees--and cooing span-new creatures." and laughing in her lap. In this, as I have “And pray, sir,” we asked, “what term of said, I found my account: in a fortnight I was probation did they pass, ere they were permitshort-coated, and in another fortnight was put ted to claim man's estate?” upon my feet, for my nurse declared that in That depended upon the progress of the ina week I should be able to walk alone. Many dividual; for, with the Turveytopians the year of my companions were less docile. There was

of discretion was not fixed by the almanac, but one-he had been an admiral—who roared and by the wisdom and purity of the neophyte. swore in a terrible vein, and vowed he would There were, certainly,

There were, certainly, a few babies-I must only be quieted with pig-tail tobacco. Another, still call them so—who had been in Turveytop Vol. II.


for centuries. You are aware, sir, that it was we were packed off, to be nailed to a form, as the fashion with those sorry dogs the Romans, soon as we could lisp ;-the Turveytopians are when any of their heroes were missing, to swear wiser, more benevolent;-10--we sprawled and that they had been carried off by Mars, cha- kicked about in the sun, and rode cock-horse rioted by a clap of thunder. A fam, sir-a upon

the backs of snails, and took flying leaps political' fam—to double-gild the memory of upon grasshoppers, and tore our frocks, and ruffians. The truth is, they were taken to Tur- rolled in puddles, and dirtied our faces, and veytop, and there they still remain ; they are ran thorns into our fingers-and, in short, did such hopeless blockheads, they can learn no- every other trick that endears a child to its thing good and peaceable. There, they are ver- parents. Yes, our constitution was suffered to min-hunters to the giants, waging war with strengthen like palm trees in the sun and air, the rats and mice; no child's sport, sir, when and the alphabet was an unthought-of calamity, you consider the strength and immensity of the until we were at least seven years old.

The beasts. Poor King Arthur, whom the Welsh- girls were taken in hand at five; for women, men look for—and King Sebastian, still ex- sir, are somehow always in advance of us.' pected by all believing Portuguese-both of “ Is that your faith?” them are in Turveytop, and there, I think, are “ Is it not indisputable? Though Eve was likely to remain. Arthur, the mirror of knight- younger than Adam, was she not more than a hood, is a sulky, watery-headed lout, continu- match for him? As for girls,” said the Hermit ally robbing the other children of their nuts with a gentle chuckle, “ I know not if it be and apples-throwing sticks at the legs of fies, not a great defect in their education that they and slily sticking pins into the youngest babies. are taught to read and write at all." The Welshmen believe in Arthur's return, faith- “ It cannot be, sir,” we cried. “What! rear fully as in leeks; but, sir, the Turveytopians the tender, blooming souls in ignorance ?” knew that he would only spoil his reputation, Why not?” said the Hermit, stroking his so keep him where he is." And for the good chin, whilst his eye twinkled. “Why not, sir? King Sebastian, who, nearly three hundred years Ignorance is the mother of admiration. Perago, passed into Africa, to cut Moorish throats, haps they'd love us all the better for it. Ha, he was spirited off to Turveytop, to be taught my friend ! you know not what mischief may fair dealing.”

be done when you teach a girl to spell, and put “And how has the teaching prospered ?" we

a pen in her hand.

It's adding weapons of inquired.

offence where there was more than enough Very badly, sir,” answered the Hermit. “I before. 'Tis like giving another quill to a don't know how it is, but the heroes and wise porcupine. Relentless souls, how many of folks of our world become sad lubbers and thein will write! Man, --let him be praised, dunces among the giants. I have seen King though praised in a whisper for it!—has his fits Sebastian seated with twenty other kings and of lordly idleness, his accidental headache in legislators, all of them famous upon our earth the morning, and he turns from his standish as for their justice and wisdom ; I have seen them, from a nauseous draught, and his grey goose feaeach with a piece of chalk between his fingers, ther rises upon his stomach as though it were vainly trying to draw a straight line. For cen- the bird's yesterday's flesh; and so, taking his turies have they in Turveytop been set to do hat, he lounges abroad hugging his laziness such simple task, before they should be permit- and dearly loving it ; or he sits in his chair, ted to return to their old world again ; yet has the world unthought of, spinning upon its no one of them accomplished it. No, sir; there axis, and he, in sweetest independence, twidis not one of them who does not draw zig-zag. dling his thumbs. Not so with woman, sir ; And the best of it is, each of them swears that she has no idleness, not she; that blot darkens his own crookedness is the straightest of the not the crystal purity of her resolution. She, straight. The Turveytop geometrician shakes like frail bibulous man, has never one of his his head with a mild pity, whereupon the late headaches! No, sir, the world gets no such kings and lawmakers sulk, and, in a low voice, respite. Fatally industrious, and sweetly temswear at him. Fate alone can tell when poor perate, your writing woman, like a cuttle-fish, Sebastian will get to Portugal again.

A sad secretes ink for every day." thing for him, sir," said the Hermit/" for I “ 'Twill go ill with you," said we to the doubt not that there his worst zig-zag might sage, “should woman write your epitaph.” pass for a perfect straight line. The dunces I “Nay, her gratitude will protect me," anhave heard at school, too!”—and the Hermit swered the Hermit, “ seeing that I shall then sighed.

let her have what is dearest to the sex.” “ Then they sent you all to school ?" we ob- " And what is that?” we asked. served.

“The last word,”—and the Hermit blandly Assuredly,” said the Herinit, “and to me smiled. Nevertheless, sir, let what I have sweet and pleasant was the academy. Not that said rest between us. For the sex-blessings

on their honied hearts !—will forgive wrong, maker of the future people—the moral artificer outrage, perjury sworn ten times deep-any- of society. Hence, the state pays him peculiar thing against their quiet, but a jest. Break'a consideration. It is allowed that his daily woman's heart, and she'll fit the pieces toge labours are in the immortal chambers of the ther, and, with a smile, assure the penitent that mind—the mind of childhood, new from the no mischief is done—indeed, and indeed, she Maker's hand, and undefiled by the earth. Hence, was never better. Break a joke, light as water. there is a solemnity, almost a sacredness, in the bubble, upon her constancy, her magnanimity schoolmaster's function; upon him and his high ---nay, upon her cookery-and take good heed; and tender doings does the state of Turveytop she declares war-war to the scissors. There depend, that its prisons shall be few. It is for was my great aunt Dorcas. Poor soul! Her him to wage a daily war with the gaoler. His husband had tried the woman a hundred cruel work is truly glorious, for it is with childhood ways, and found her, as her own mother declared, -beautiful childhood !” cried the Hermit pasquite an angel. Her heart had been broken sionately—“holy childhood, with still the bloom many, many years; and yet so well do women of its first home upon it! For, indeed, there is a repair the ravages of time and accident, nobody sanctity about it—it is a bright new-comer from would ever have thought it. Well, sir, this the world unknown, a creature with unfolded woman, who had endured wrong, neglect—nay, soul !—And yet, sir, are there not states where, some did whisper, the slight of infidelity, to whilst yet the creature draws its pauper milk-, boot—this woman, who, placidly as a saint in of the same sort, by the way, that nurtured china, had smiled upon a husband's villanies, Abel-wegive it to those fiends of earth, violence at length parted from the man upon a custard! and wrong, and then scourge, imprison, hang Yes, sir : her tyrant of a mate—as he thought, the pupil for the teaching of its masters ? Childpoor wretch! pleasantly enough-flung a heavy hood, with its innocence killed in the very seed ! joke, before company, too, upon his wife's Childhood, a fetid imp in rags, with fox-like, pastry. The man had never been known to at thievish eyes and lying breath, the foul weed of tempt a jest till then. Whereupon, aunt Dorcas a city. Such, indeed, it is to the niceness of said she had endured enough; there was a our senses, shrinking at the filth and whining of limit even to a wife's forbearance.

She rose

that world-wrinkled babe ! But look at it from the table, and died upon a separate main- aright, sir,”—cried the Hermit with new anitenance."

mation—" translate its mutterings into their “Pray, sir," we inquired, " has your philo- true meaning. What do you see ? what hear? sophy fathomed the cause of all this?

The lineaments and cryings of an accusing “'Tis in the deeper gravity of the sex,” said demon; a giant thing of woe and mischief the Hermit. Nay, sir, I mean it. They are scowling and shrieking at the world that hath shallow thinkers, sir, who declare women to be destroyed its holiness of life; that, seizing it, light and frivolous. Depend upon it, they take yea from the hand of its Maker, bath defaced life much more in earnest than we do. Hence, the divinity of its impress, and made it devilm sir, woman is rarely a joke-making animal. a devil to do a devil's mischief; then to be Far better than we does she know the perish- doomed and punished by a self-complacent able materials of which life is made, and takes world, that lays the demon in a felon's grave, serious care of them accordingly. And then, and after, sighs and wrings the hands at human sir, the delicacy of the sex makes them shrink wickedness. from a jest. Like pistol or small sword, it is a “ In the strange land you speak of,” we obmasculine weapon, and not to be intruded upon served, wishing to divert the passion of the their gentle presence. No, sir; a woman may Hermit, for, indeed, he seemed strangely posbe brought to forgive bigamy, but not a joke.' sessed,—" you said that childhood had its sacred

“ It may be so," said we; “but, sir, all this claims allowed. There, all were taught-all time we have wandered from Turveytor. You tended. The schoolmaster, too, had high priwere sent to school there, you say ?


vileges ?” “I was—and there, indeed, the time went “ The highest,” cried the sage, his light gaily by. Benevolent and gentle was the good-humour returning. “Indeed, in Turveyschoolmaster, and worthy of the honours la- top the schoolmasters may be said to take the vished by the state upon him. Aye, sir, you place of our commanding soldiers. We give may look ; but in Turveytop the schoolmaster rank, distinction, high praises to generals and is not a half-drudge, half-executioner. No, such folk for the cunning slaughter of their sir; the importance, the solemnity, of his mis thousands. We take the foul smell out of sion is conceded. Children are not sent to bloodshed, and call men-quellers heroes. We him with no more ceremony than if they give them gold lace, and stick feathers upon were terrier-pups, packed to the farrier to have them, and hang them about with Orders of Saint their tails docked and their ears rounded. In Fire, Saint Pillage, and Saint Slaughter. We Turveytop, the schoolmaster is considered the strip the skin from the innocent sheep to make

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