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A SIMILE FOR REVIEWERS.
YE overseers and reviewers
To make the likeness of a fly;
Consigns a wretch
His manner and expression,
| And a bo'sun tight, and a midshipmite, From every forester and cager
And the crew of the captain's gig !" Of the profession."
Then he gave a hitch to his trousers, which Thus ended the dispute :
Is a trick all seamen larn, The cuckoo was quite mute
And having got rid of a thumping quid
He spun this painful yarn : -
“'T was in the good ship Nancy Bell The ass was so intoxicated
That we sailed to the Indian sea, And shallow-pated,
And there on a reef we come to grief,
Which has often occurred to me.
“And pretty nigh all o' the crew was drowned Dated when the moon's at full;
(There was seventy-seven o' soul);
And only ten of the Nancy's men
Said “Here' to the muster-roll.
“There was me, and the cook, and the captain bold, Trumpeting through the fields and streets, And the mate of the Nancy brig, Stopping and jading all he meets,
And a bo'sun tight and a midshipmite, Pronouncing with an air
And the crew of the captain's gig. Of one pronouncing from the chair, “Here's a beauty, this is new,-
“For a month we'd neither wittles nor drink, And that's a blemish
Till a hungry we did feel, For which I have no relish," —
So we drawed a lot, and, accordin', shot
The captain for our meal.
“ The next lot fell to the Nancy's mate,
And a delicate dish he made ;
We seven survivors stayed.
“And then we murdered the bo’sun tight, 'T was on the shores that round our coast
And he much resembled pig ; From Deal to Ramsgate span,
Then we wittled free, did the cook and me, That I found alone, on a piece of stone,
On the crew of the captain's gig. An elderly naval man.
“ Then only the cook and me was left, His hair was weedy, his beard was long,
And the delicate question, Which And weedy and long was he ;
Of us two goes to the kettle ?' arose, And I heard this wight on the shore recite,
And we argued it out as sich. In a singular minor key :
“For I loved that cook as a brother, I did, “O, I am a cook and a captain bold,
And the cook he worshipped me; And the mate of the Nancy brig,
But we'd both be blowed if we'd either be stowed And a bo'sun tight, and a midshipmite,
In the other chap's hold, you see. And the crew of the captain's gig."
""I'll be eat if you dines off me,' says Tom. And he shook his fists and he tore his hair,
'Yes, that,' says I, 'you 'll be. Till I really felt afraid,
| I'm boiled if I die, my friend,' quoth I; For I could n't help thinking the man had been
And 'Exactly so,' quoth he. drinking, And so I simply said :
“Says he : Dear James, to murder me
Were a foolish thing to do, “O elderly man, it's little I know
For don't you see that you can't cook me, Of the duties of men of the sea,
While I can -- and will — cook you ?' And I'll eat my hand if I understand How you can possibly be
“So he boils the water, and takes the salt
And the pepper in portions true “At once a cook and a captain bold,
(Which he never forgot), and some chopped shalot, And the mate of the Nancy brig,
And some sage and parsley too.
“ Come here,' says he, with a proper pride,
If I did not take care, Which his smiling features tell ;
Would come in for a share; "'T will soothing be if I let you see
Which I no wise intended How extremely nice you 'll smell.'
Till their manners were mended.
Of that there's no sign, “And he stirred it round, and round, and round,
I do therefore enjoin, And he sniffed at the foaming froth ;
And do strictly command, When I ups with his heels, and smothers his
Of which witness my hand,
That naught I have got In the scum of the boiling broth.
Be brought to hotch-pot;
But I give and devise “And I eat that cook in a week or less,
As much as in me lies And as I eating be
To the son of my mother, The last of his chops, why I almost drops, ,
My own dear brother, For a wessel in sight I see.
To have and to hold,
All my silver and gold, “And I never larf, and I never smile,
Both sutton and potten,
Until the world 's rotten,
As the affectionate pledges
Of his brother. “0, I am a cook and a captain bold
And the mate of the Nancy brig,
I ASKED of Echo, 't other day,
(Whose words are few and often funny,) COLOGNE.
What to a novice she could say
Of courtship, love, and matrimony ? In Köln, a town of monks and bones,
Quoth Echo, plainly, — “Matter-o'-money!" And pavements fanged with murderous stones, And rags, and hags, and hideous wenches, — Whom should I marry ? --- should it be I counted two-and-seventy stenches,
A dashing damsel, gay and pert,
A pattern of inconstancy;
Quoth Echo, sharply, — “Nary flirt !"
What if, aweary of the strife But tell me, nymphs ! what power divine
That long has lured the dear deceiver,
She promise to amend her life,
And sin no more ; can I believe her?
Quoth Echo, very promptly, “Leave her :"
But if some maiden with a heart
On me should venture to bestow it,
Pray, should I act the wiser part
To take the treasure, or forego it ?
Quoth Echo, with decision, — “Go it!"
But what if, seemingly afraid
To bind her fate in Hymen's fetter,
She vow she means to die a maid,
In answer to my loving letter?
Quoth Echo, rather coolly, - "Let her!”
| What if, in spite of her disdain,
I find my heart intwined about
With Cupid's dear delicious chain
So closely that I can't get out!
| Quoth Echo, laughingly, - “Get out!"
• THE VIRTUOSO.
But if some maid with beauty blest,
As pure and fair as Heaven can make her,
Till envious Death shall overtake her ?
JOHN G. SAXE.
IN IMITATION OF SPENSER'S STYLE AND STANZA.
".... Videmus Nugari solitos." - PERSIUS.
PHILOSOPHY OF HUDIBRAS.
WAILOM by silver Thames's gentle stream,
In London town there dwelt a subtle wight, A wight of mickle wealth, and mickle fame,
Book-learned and quaint : a Virtuoso hight. Uncommon things, and rare, were his delight;
From musings deep his brain ne'er gotten ease, Nor ceased he from study, day or night; | Until (advancing onward by degrees)
Heknew whatever breeds on earth or air or seas.
BESIDE, he was a shrewd philosopher,
He many a creature did anatomize,
Almost un peopling water, air, and land ; Beasts, fishes, birds, snails, caterpillars, flies,
Were laid full low by his relentless hand, That oft with gory crimson was distained;
He many a dog destroyed, and many a cat;
Could tellen if a mite were lean or fat,
He knew the various modes of ancient times,
Their arts and fashions of each different guise, Their weddings, funerals, punishments for crimes,
Their strength, their learning eke, and rarities;
Male, female, high and low, to him were known;
A curious medallist, I wot, he was,
And boasted many a course of ancient coin ;
Well as his wife's he knewen every face,
From Julius Cæsar down to Constantine : Profoundly skilled in analytic ;
For some rare sculpture he would oft ypine,
(As green-sick damosels for husbands do ;) He could distinguish and divide
And when obtainéd, with enraptured eyne, A hair 'twixt south and southwest side ;
He'd run it o'er and o'er with greedy view, On either which he would dispute,
And look, and look again, as he would look it Confute, change hands, and still confute :
His rich museum, of dimensions fair,
With goods that spoke the owner's mind was A calf an alderman, a goose a justice,
fraught : And rooks committee-men and trustees.
Things ancient, curious, value-worth, and rare, He'd run in debt by disputation,
From sea and land, from Greece and Rome, were
brought, And pay with ratiocination : All this by syllogism true,
Which he with mighty sums of gold had bought:
On these all tides with joyous eyes he pored ; In mood and figure he would do.
SAMUEL BUTLER. | And, sooth to say, himself he greater thought,
When he beheld his cabinets thus stored,
· MARK AKENSIDE.
You'll tell me, p'rhaps, I 've only lost one
DR. WOLCOTT (PETER PINDAK).
KING CANUTE AND HIS NOBLES.
CANUTE was by his nobles taught to fancy,
LET US ALONE.
A REMINISCENCE OF "THE LATE ONPLEASANTNESS." Down rushed the royal Dane upon the strand, And issued, like a Solomon, command, - As vonce I valked by a dismal swamp, Poor soul.
There sot an Old Cove in the dark and damp,
And at everybody as passed that road “Go back, ye waves, you blustering rogues," A stick or a stone this Old Cove throwed ; quoth he;
And venever he flung his stick or his stone, “ Touch not your lord and master, Sea; He'd set up a song of “Let me alone.”
For by my power almighty, if you do — ” Then, staring vengeance, out he held a stick,
“Let me alone, for I loves to shy Vowing to drive Old Ocean to Old Nick,
These bits of things at the passers-by ; Should he even wet the latchet of his shoe.
Let me alone, for I've got your tin,
And lots of other traps snugly in ; The Sea retired, — the monarch fierce rushed on,
Let me alone, - I am rigging a boat And looked as if he'd drive him from the land;
To grab votever you've got afloat; But Sea, not caring to be put upon,
In a veek or so I expects to come Made for a moment a bold stand :
And turn you out of your 'ouse and 'ome;
I'm a quiet Old Cove," says he, with a groan ; Not only made a stand did Mr. Ocean,
“All I axes is, Let me alone.” But to his honest waves he made a motion, And bid them give the king a hearty trimming.
Just then came along, on the self-same vay, The orders seemed a deal the waves to tickle, | Another Old Cove, and began for to say, For soon they put his majesty in pickle,
“Let you alone! That's comin' it strong! And sat his royalties, like geese, a swimming.
You've ben let alone — a darned site too long!
Of all the sarce that ever I heerd! All hands aloft, with one tremendous roar,
Put down that stick! (You may well look skeered.) Sound did they make him wish himself on shore ;
Let go that stone! If you once show fight, His head and ears most handsomely they
I'll knock you higher than any kite. doused,
You must have a lesson to stop your tricks, Just like a porpoise, with one general shout,
And cure you of shying them stones and sticks; The waves so tumbled the poor king about,
| And I 'll have my hardware back, and my No anabaptist e'er was half so soused.
And knock your scow into tarnal smash; Atlength to land he crawled, a half-drowned thing, And if ever I catches you round my ranch, Indeed more like a crab than like a king, I'll string you up to the nearest branch. And found his courtiers making rueful faces :
The best you can do is to go to bed, But what said Canute to the lords and gentry,
And keep a decent tongue in your head; Who hailed him from the water, on his entry,
For I reckon, before you and I are done, 111 trembling for their lives or places ? You 'll wish you had let honest folks alone."
“My lords and gentlemen, by your advice,
I've had with Mr. Sea a pretty bustle ; My treatment from my foe not over nice,
Just made a jest for every shrimp and muscle :
The Old Cove stopped, and t'other Old Cove,
H. P. H. BROWNEL
A pretty trick for one of my dominion !-