VI. There was a life, I assever! With reasons. That lead me to scorn every star-gazing Ass; And because I loved it, at certain seasons "T is a pleasure to gaze in the looking-glass. THE FRIEND OF HUMANITY AND THE KNIFE-GRINDER. FRIEND OF HUMANITY. NEEDY knife-grinder! whither are you going? When the bright sun beckons the spring, green-Rough is the road; your wheel is out of order. deckt, up, The Ape swells within me; whenever I see Mortals look skyward, walking erect up, I long for a Tail and a large strong Tree! ROBERT BUCHANAN. THE UNIVERSITY OF GOTTINGEN. BY ONE ELEVEN YEARS IN PRISON. WHENE'ER with haggard eyes I view niversity of Gottingen, niversity of Gottingen. [Weeps, and pulls out a blue kerchief, with which he wipes his eyes; gazing tenderly at it, he proceeds: ] Sweet kerchief, checked with heavenly blue, Which once my love sat knotting in Alas, Matilda then was true! At least I thought so at the U Bleak blows the blast ;- your hat has got a hole in 't ; So have your breeches ! Weary knife-grinder! little think the proud ones, Who in their coaches roll along the turnpikeroad, what hard work 't is crying all day ‘Knives and Scissors to grind O!' Tell me, knife-grinder, how came you to grind knives? Did some rich man tyrannically use you? Was it the squire for killing of his game? or All in a lawsuit ? (Have you not read the Rights of Man, by Tom Paine ?) Drops of compassion tremble on my eyelids, KNIFE-GRINDER. Story! God bless you! I have none to tell, sir; Constables came up for to take me into I should be glad to drink your honor's health in FRIEND OF HUMANITY. niversity of Gottingen, I give thee sixpence! I will see thee damned niversity of Gottingen. whom no sense of wrongs can rouse to vengeance, Sordid, unfeeling, reprobate, degraded, Spiritless outcast! [Kicks the knife-grinder, overturns his wheel, and exit in a transport of republican enthusiasm and universal philanthropy.] GEORGE CANNING, English and Irish, French and Spanish, In one conglomeration! So subtle a tangle of blood, indeed, Depend upon it, my snobbish friend, Or, worse that that, your boasted line That plagued some worthy relation! BACHELOR'S HALL, what a comical place it is! Keep me from such all the days of my life! Sure but he knows what a burning disgrace it is, Never at all to be getting a wife. See the old bachelor, gloomy and sad enough, Fussing around while he 's making his fire; His kettle has tipt up, och, honey, he 's mad enough, If he were present, to fight with the squire ! Pots, dishes, and pans, and such other commodities, Ashes and praty-skins, kiver the floor; His cupboard a storehouse of comical oddities, Things never thought of as neighbors before. When his meal it is over, the table's left sittin' so; Dishes, take care of yourselves if you can; Devil a drop of hot water will visit ye. Och, let him alone for a baste of a man! Now, like a pig in a mortar-bed wallowing, ANONYMOUS. MR. MOLONY'S ACCOUNT OF THE BALL GIVEN TO THE NEPAULESE AMBASSADOR BY THE PENINSULAR AND ORIENTAL COMPANY. O, WILL ye choose to hear the news? Bedad, I cannot pass it o'er : I'll tell you all about the ball To the Naypaulase Ambassador. Begor! this fête all balls does bate, At which I worn a pump, and I Must here relate the splendthor great Of th' Oriental Company. These men of sinse dispoised expinse, To fête these black Achilleses. "We'll show the blacks," says they, "Almack's, And take the rooms at Willis's." And decked the walls and stairs and halls And Jullien's band it tuck its stand So sweetly in the middle there, And when the Coort was tired of spoort, A nate buffet before them set, Where lashins of good dhrink there was ! At ten before the ball-room door, Into the door-way followed him; And O the noise of the blackguard boys, The noble Chair stud at the stair, And bade the dthrums to thump; and he And bright the oys, you saw there, was; This Gineral great then tuck his sate, With all the other ginerals, (Bedad, his troat, his belt, his coat, All bleezed with precious minerals ;) And as he there, with princely air, Recloinin on his cushion was, All round about his royal chair, The squeezin and the pushin was. O Pat, such girls, such Jukes and Earls, Just think of Tim, and fancy him Amidst the hoigh gentility! There was Lord De L'Huys, and the Portygeese And I reckonized, with much surprise, There was Baroness Brunow, that looked like Juno, And Countess Roullier, that looked peculiar There was Lord Fingall and his ladies all, And Lords Killeen and Dufferin, And Paddy Fife, with his fat wife, — I wondther how he could stuff her in. There was Lord Belfast, that by me past, And seemed to ask how should I go there? And the Widow Macrae, and Lord A. Hay, And the Marchioness of Sligo there. Yes, Jukes and Earls, and diamonds and pearls, And I'd like to hear the pipers blow, WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY. IRISH ASTRONOMY. A VERITABLE MYTH, TOUCHING THE CONSTELLATION He had an ould militia gun, And sartin sure his aim was ; |