[liam?

30

Eva. What is your genitive case plural, Wil-35
Will. Genitive case?
Eva. Ay.

Will. Genitive, horum, harum, horum.

Quic. 'Vengeance of Giney's case! fie on her!never name her, child, if she be a whore. Eva. For shame, 'oman.

Quic. You do ill to teach the child such words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'l do fast enough of themselves; and to call horum:-fie upon you!

Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no understanding for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders? thou art a foolish christian creatures, as I would desires.

Mrs. Page. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace.

Eva. Shew me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

Will. Forsooth, I have forgot.

40

45

Mrs. Ford. He's a-birding, sweet sir John. Mrs. Page. [Within.] What hoa, gossip Ford! what hoa!

Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, sir John. [Exit Falstaff.

Enter Mrs. Pagc.

Mrs. Page. How now, sweetheart? who's at home besides yourself?

Mrs. Ford. Why, none but my own people.
Mrs. Page. Indeed?

[Aside. Mrs. Ford. No, certainly-Speak louder. Mrs. Page. Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here.

Mrs. Ford. Why?

Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes' again: he so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets himself on the forehead, crying, 'Peer-out, peer-out! that any madness, I ever yet beheld, seem'd but tameness, civility, and patience, to this distemper he is in now: I am glad the fat knight is not here.

Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of him?

Mrs. Page. Of none but him; and swears, he was carried out, the last time he search'd for him, in a basket; protests to my husband, he is now here; and hath drawn him and the rest of their company from their sport, to make another experiment of his suspicion: but I ain glad the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery. Mrs. Ford. How near is he, mistress Page? Mrs. Page. Hard by; at street end; he will 50 be here anon.

Eva. It is ki, kæ, cod; if you forget your kies, your kas, and your cods, you must be preeches'. 55 Go your ways and play, go.

Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

Mrs. Ford. I am undone!-the knight is here. Mrs. Page. Why, then thou art utterly sham'd, and he's but a dead man. What a woman are you? Away with him, away with him; better shame than murther.

Mrs. Ford. Which way should he go? how should I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket again?

1 Sir Hugh means to say, You must be breech'd, i. e. flogg'd. To breech is to flog. 2 This word is still in use, and signifies ready, alert, sprightly; it is pronounced as if it was written―sprack. That is, lunacy, frenzy. To take on, now used for to grieve, seems to be used by our author for to rage.

4

That is, appear horns.

F

Enter

Mrs. Ford. There they always used to discharge 10 lead. their birding-pieces: creep into the kiln-hole.

Enter Ford, Shallow, Page, Caius, and Sir
Hugh Evans.

Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, master Page, have
you any way then to unfool ine again?-Set down
15the basket, villain:--Somebody call my wife:-
Youth in a basket! Oh, you pandarly rascals!-
there's a knot, a gang, a pack, a conspiracy,against
me: Now shall the devil be sham'd.-
wife, I say! come, come forth; behold what ho-
nest cloaths you send forth to bleaching.

Mrs. Ford. If you go out in your own semblance, you die, sir John; unless you go out dis-20 guis'd-How might we disguise hum?

Mrs. Puge. Alas the day, I know not. There is no woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, he might put on a hat, a mufiler, and a kerchief, and so escape.

Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extremity, rather than a mischief.

Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a gown above.

Shal. By my fidelity, this is not well, master Ford; this wrongs you.

Era. Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies.

Ford. Well, he's not here I seek for.

Page. No, nor no where else but in your brain.

That is, a list, an inventory. 2 The thrum is the end of a weaver's warp, and was probably used

for making coarse hats. A muffler was some part of dress that cover'd the face. To pass means here, to go beyond bounds. Meaning, this is below your character.

Ford. Help to search my house this one time: if I find not what I seek, shew no colour for my extremity, let me for ever be your table-sport; let them say of me, As jealous as Ford, that search'd a hollow wall-nut for his wife's leman'. Satisfy 5 me once more, once more search with me.

Mrs. Ford. What hoa, mistress Page! come you and the old woman down; my husband will come into the chamber.

Ford. Old woman! what old woman's that? Mrs. Ford. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford.

10

Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does she? We are simple men: 15 we do not know what's brought to pass under the profession of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by the figure, and such daubery 2 as this is beyond our element: we know nothing.Come down, you witch; you hag you, 20| come down I say.

:

Mrs. Ford. Nay, good sweet husband;-good gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman. Enter Falstaffinwomen's cloaths, led by Mrs. Page. Mrs. Page. Come, mother Prat, come, give 25 me your hand.

Ford. I'll prat her:- -Out of my doors, you witch! [Beats him.] you hag, you baggage, you poulcat, you ronyon! out! out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you. [Exit Fal. 30

Mrs. Page. Are you not asham'd? I think, you have kill'd the poor woman.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, he will do it:-'Tis a goodly credit for you.

Ford. Hang her, witch!

35

Eva. By yea and no, I think the 'oman is a witch indeed: I like not when a 'omans has a great peard; I spy a great peard under his muffler. Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you follow; see but the issue of my jealousy: it 40 I cry out thus upon no trail', never trust me when I open again.

Page. Let's obey his humour a little further:Come, gentlemen. [Exeunt. Mrs.Page. Trust me he beat him most pitifully. 45 Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most unpitiully, methought.

Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallow'd, and hung o'er the altar; it hath done meritorious service.

Mrs. Ford. What think you? may we, with the warrant of womanhood, and the witness of a good conscience, pursue him with any further revenge?

Mrs. Page. Come, to the forge with it, then, shape it: I would not have things cool. [Exeunt. SCENE III.

The Garter inn.

Enter Host and Bardolph.

Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at court, and they are going to meet him.

Host. What duke should that be, comes so secretly? I hear not of him in the court: let me speak with the gentlemen; they speak English? Bard. Sir, I'll call them to you.

Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make them pay, I'll sauce them: they have had my houses a week at command; I have turn'd away my other guests: they must come off'; I'H sauce them: come. [Exeunt.

SCENE IV.
Ford's house.

Enter Page, Ford, Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and
Sir Hugh Evans.

Era. 'Tis one of the best discretions of a 'omans as ever I did look upon.

Page. And did he send you both these letters at an instant ?

Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour.
Ford. Pardon me, wife: Henceforth do what
thon wilt:

I rather will suspect the sun with cold, [stand,
Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour
In him that was of late an heretic,
As firm as faith.

Page. 'Tis well, 'tis well; no more.
Be not as extreme in submission,
As in offence;

But let our plot go forward; let our wives
50 Yet once again, to make us public sport,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
Where we may take him, and disgrace him for it.
Ford.There is nobetterwaythan that they spokeof.
Page. How? to send him word they'll meet him
in the park

Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scar'd out of him; if the devil have him not in fee 55 simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of waste, attempt us again.

Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how wel have served him?

At midnight! fie, fie; he will never come.

Era. You say, he hath been thrown into the rivers; and hath peen grievously peaten, as an old Poman: methinks, there should be terrors in him,

2

This

To cry

Lover. Leman is derived from leef, Dutch, beloved, and man. Dauberies are disguises. Ronyon, applied to a woman, imports much the same with scall or scab spoken of a man. expression is borrowed from hunting. Trail is the scent left by the passage of the game. out, is to open or burk, Meaning, there would be no proper catastrophe. That is, they must pay.

F 2

that

that he should not come: methinks, his flesh is and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the

punish'd, he shall have no desires.

Page. So think I too.

Mrs. Ford. Devise but how you'll use him
when he comes,

And let us two devise to bring him hither.
Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that
Herne the hunter,

5

knight with taber.

iny

Ford. This will be excellent. I'll go buy them

vizards.

Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,

Finely attired in a robe of white.

Page. That silk will I go buy;-and in that time Shall master Slender steal my Nan away, [Aside. 10And marry her at Eton.Go, send to Falstaff straight.

Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,
Doth all the winter time, at still midnight,
Walk round about an oak,with great ragg'd horns;
And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle:[
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a
In a most hideous and dreadful manner: [chain
You have heard of such a spirit; and well you 15
The superstitious idle-headed eld2 [know,
Receiv'd, and did deliver to our age,
This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth. [fear]
Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do
In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak:
But what of this?

Ford, Nay, I'll to him again in the name of Brook: He'll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he'll come. Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: Go, get us proAnd tricking for our fairies. [perties Eva. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest kuaveries.

[Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans. Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford, 20 Send Quickly to sir John, to know his mind. [Exit Mrs. Ford. I'll to the doctor; he hath my good-will, And none but he, to marry with Nan Page. That Slender, though well-landed, is an ideot; And he my husband best of all affects: The doctor is well-money'd, and his friends Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have her, Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave [Exit.

Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device;-
That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us.
We'll send him word to meet us in the field,
Disguis'd like Herne, with huge horns on his head. 25
Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come,
And in this shape: When you have brought him

thither,

What shall be done with him? what is your plot
Mrs. Page. That likewise we have thought 30
upon, and thus:

Nan Page iny daughter, and my little son, [dress
And there are four more of their growth, we'll
Like urchins, ouphes, and fairies, green and white,
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
And rattles in their hands; upon a sudden,
As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once
With some diffused' song: upon their sight,
We two in great amazedness will fly
Then let them all encircle him abou,
And, fairy-like, to-pinch the unclean knight;
And ask him, why that hour of fairy revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread
In shape profane?"

Mrs. Ford. And till he tell the truth,
Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound,
And burn him with their tapers.

Mrs. Page. The truth being known,
We'll all present ourselves: dis-horn the spirit,
And mock him home to Windsor.

Ford. The children must

Be practis'd well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.
Eva. I will teach the children their behaviours;

her.

SCENE V.
The Garter inn.
Enter Host and Simple.

Host. What would'st thou have, boor? what, 35thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

Simp. Marry, sir, I come to speak with sir John Falstaff from master Slender.

Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, 40 his standing-bed, and truckle-bed'; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new; Go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian' unto thee: Knock, I say.

Simp. There's an old woman, a fat woman, 45 gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, sir, 'till she come down: I come to speak with her, indeed.

Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robb'd: I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully sir 50 John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? It is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.

Falstaff above.

Fal. How now, mine host?

Host. Here's a Bohemian Tartar' tarries the

Dr.

To take, here means to seize or strike with a disease. 2 Meaning, age, 3 Urchin is a hedgehog; but is here used to signify any thing little and dwarfish. Ouph is a fairy or goblin. Warburton says, this signifies a song that strikes out into wild sentiments beyond the bounds of nature, such as those whose subject is fairy land. Properties are incidental necessaries to a theatre, exclusive of scenes and dresses. To trick, is to dress out. 'The usual furniture of chambers in those times consisted of a standing bed, under which was a truckle, or running bed. In the former lay the master, and in the latter the servant. That is, a Cannibal. The Host uses this high-sounding word to astonish Simple; an effect which he probably likewise means to produce by the word Ephesian, which follows. See the preceding note.

8

11

coming

coming down of thy fat woman: Let her descend,] bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable: Fie! privacy? fie!

Enter Falstaff.

Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman 5 even now, with me; but she's gone.

Simp. Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of Brentford?

Fal. Ay, marry was it, mussel-shell '; What would you with her?

Simp. My master, sir, master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go through the street, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguil'd him of a chain, had the chain, or no.

Fal. I spake with the old woman about it.
Simp. And what says she, I pray, sir?

Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that beguil'd master Slender of his chain, cozen'd him of it.

horses and money. I tell you for good-will, look
you: you are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-
stogs; and 'tis not convenient you should be co-
zend: Fare you well.
[Exit.
Enter Caius.

Caius. Vere is mine Host de Jarterre?
Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and
doubtful dilemma.

Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat: But it is tell-a10me, dat you make a grand preparation for a duke de Jamany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat de court is know, to come: I tell you for good-vill: adieu. [Exit. Host. Hue and cry, villain, go! assist me, 15 knight; I am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I'm undone ! [Exit.

Simp. I would I could have spoken with the 20 woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal. What are they? let us know.
Host. Ay, come; quick.

Simp. I may not conceal them, sir,
Fal. Conceal them, or thou dy'st.

Simp. Why, sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know, if it were my master's fortune to have her, or no.

Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune.
Simp. What, sir?

Fal. To have her-or no: Go; say the woman told me so.

Simp. May I be so bold to say so, sir?
Fal. Ay, sir Tike: like who more bold.
Sim. I thank your worship: I shall make my
master glad with these tidings. [Exit Simple.
Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, sir
John: Was there a wise woman with thee?

Fal. I would all the world might be cozen'd; for I have been cozen'd, and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transform'd, and how my transformation bath been wash'd and cudgel'd, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me: I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crest25 faln as a dry'd pear. I never prosper'd since I foreswore my selt at Primero'. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.Enter Mistress Quickly.

30 Now! whence came you?

35

Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one, that 40 hath taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life; and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

Enter Bardolph.

Bard. Out, alas, sir! cozenage! merecozenage! 45 Host. Where be my horses! speak well of them, varletto.

Burd. Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eaton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustus's.

Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, vil lain: do not say, they are fled; Germans are hopest men.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans.

Eva. Where is mine host?

Host. What is the matter, sir?

Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there

Quick. From the two parties, forsooth.

Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestow'd! I have suffer'd more for their sakes, more, than the villainous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear.

Quic. And have not they suffer'd? yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.

Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch.

Quic. Sir, let me speak with you in your cham50ber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will sav somewhat. Good hearts, what ado is here to bring you together! sure one of you does not serve heaven well, that your are so cross'd. Ful. Come up into my chamber. [Exeunt. SCENE VI.

55

Enter Fenton and Host.

Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my

is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there 60mind is heavy, I will give over all.

is three couzin-germans, that has cozen'd all the hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of

Fent. Yet hear me speak: Assist me in my

purpose,

Falstaff probably calls Simple mussel-shell, from his standing with his mouth open.

scholar-like. A game at cards.

2 That is,

And