440 go direct to the heart through the chy-ham, Mr. Benjamin Ligament Cable, the lopoietics. Day after day streams of black-coated, white-chokered people, of company," waiters, "professionals," and " (of whom, in my early times of dining out, I might have said with truth, " Tros Tyriusve mihi nullo discrimine agetur,") may be seen pouring into that shady hall within which resounds forever the clang of covers and the rattle of the dinner-steel, mingled with the faintest soupçon of French cookery from the remoter kitchen. Day after day carriages and cabs there deposit their joyous burdens toward seven o'clock, and the band of the Guards seem there to be on constant duty. Fresh posters outside announce diurnally new objects to be achieved in the paths of gastronomic regeneration; nor is there in this age of progress any development of science, of social knowledge, or of political life, in which the Metropolis Tavern and its dinners do not play an important part. "Mankind Amealorations?" said the fat porter in his arm-chair, as I timidly made my inquiries; "up stairs, sir, third flight. Leave yer hat and coat at the table, please, sir." And so I ascended a lofty flight of stairs, the walls by the side of which were decked with portraits of great kings, and admirals, and generals, who had feasted in their day right gloriously in these saloons, amid files of smiling waiters and plethoric guests till I reached the banqueting-room. What a new world it was to me! Three long tables glittering with plate, with centerpieces laden with bouquets, with stupendous wine-coolers, side-covers, and heaps of silver knives and forks flashing brightly beneath the light of wax and gas, ran the length of a noble and richly-decorated hall, till they effected a junction with a transverse cross-table-the seat of honor-at the end of the room, covered with dazzling ornaments, such as the Roman in his conquering hour might have snatched from the treasure-houses of an Eastern monarch. In the orchestra over the entrance were the fair ladies whose happiness it was to be about to see the Ameliorators feeding, and beneath it that indefatigable band of the Guards was already bleating through all its lungs of brass a preparatory rehearsal of the march in Nabucco. The cards before the dishes bespoke the rank of the guests. There was Lord Cinderley, the benevolent chairman, Lord Bruf 66 vice, Mr. Wirey, the great city orator, 66 66 It is not pleasant to be the subject of baseless theories in one's own hearing; and for some few minutes I felt unhappy and distrait, and the more so because my confrères were on such good terms with each other. Enter at last a grand procession! Smiling stewards with white wands in their hands, and rosettes in their button-holes, precede a stately pomp of lords, and baronets, and knights, and aldermen, and gentlemen, (ought not the last to be first, by-the-by?) and escort them to the top table; and amid the strains of the band and the waving of kerchiefs from the gallery, the Ameliorators take their places. A crowd of waiters struggling beneath the weight of mighty covers fills up the void which has been left by the march of white-headed he is-he confesses with a sigh-the hero of hundreds of them; he takes care of me as a father would of a favorite child-he tells me when to drink my cold punch, my champagne, my claret, (he insists on its being a light red-sealed bottle-orange wont do, nor scarlet,) the exact moment at which port may be ventured on, and he marshals the made dishes, and reveals their secrets with rare prescience; he is my mentor as to what to eat, drink, and avoid; makes enemies of his best friends by giving me all the tid-bits of flesh, fish, and fowl, and hears unmoved the whis nobles, with red noses and ribins, and is at last precipitated on the tables in a sediment of tureens and smoking dishes. While I gaze in wonderment on this strange scene, the triumphal strains of the band cease, and I feel a gentle nudge at my elbow. A party gorgeously appareled, with rills of shirt-frills and bossy studs, and an engaging smile at once familiar, and deprecating offense, says to me, "Mr. a-a-a, (a bow,) I haven't the pleasure of your name, (a bow,) but my name is Harkaway, sir-well known to Mr. Ginner, of your paper, sir, (a bow,) and if you'll be so good as to say Harka-pered libel that " Old Goldfish is buttering way, the toast-master, was as-anything you 're good enough to think, sir-as usual, (two bows.) Thank you, sir, you're very kind," (three bows, and vanish the vision amid the waiters.) And now a clergyman rises to bless the feast, and as his general exhortation, not to be fond of creature-comforts, but rather to eschew feasting and reveling, is something of the longest, many of the company raise the covers, and peep slily into the dishes to ascertain the contents, and then, as the Ameliorators are great martyrs in this way, and stave off what they so much desire, as long as possible, a stout gentleman with a bass voice, a lean gentleman with a barytone tenor ditto, and a cherrycheeked, rotund little body, whether boy or man, one cannot say at the distance, with a juggle and a warble in the throat like that of an over-fed nightingale, execute the dreary ode to the deity of dinners, "Non nobis Domine." What a clatter as the peaceful army sits down to battle! If old Homer had heard it he might have culled one more simile to describe the march of the Grecian host. Ladles, spoons, knives, forks, plates, covers, and glasses, keep up a perpetual clash, tingle, clang, which rise above the crash of a waltz by Lanner, and the rows of the waiters by dozens. A red-faced gentleman at the other side of the table, who has been working away at a large tureen for some time, catches a glimpse of my plate while I am staring about me, and with horror exclaims, "Why, sir! you've had no turtle and it's getting cold! here, waiter, that young gentleman's plate opposite. I've a nice bit of the meat for you left." What a mine of happiness I am for that man! he has discovered I never was at a public dinner before, and VOL. III, No. 5.-HH up that young press chap to get a report of the speech," absorbed in the rare enjoyment of what, he says, with a sigh, is now his greatest pleasures, "Seeing a man eat with an appetite." With the aid of Goldfish I got on remarkably well. My brethren of the pencil relaxed so far as to ask me to take wine in rotation, and to inform me that this was the best dinner going, as it was expensive, and there was nothing to do in the way of speech-writing. Several times I had observed a tall, slight, courteous-looking person, in evening dress, hovering round our chairs and speaking confidentially to my confrères, but could not make him out; waiter, head or tail, he evidently was not, and yet, he somehow or other, seemed to belong to the Metropolis Tavern. There was an air of diplomatic grace about him -a soft, oily gait, which slid him about here, there, and everywhere, as though he traveled on felt springs-a bland smile and a hearty genial manner, mingled with excessive respectfulness and deference of address that attracted attention at once. Just as I was inquiring who this very agreeable person was, and had learned it was Mr. Lave, the proprietor, he appeared at my elbow, and as if I had become the one object of his thought and exertions, in his inimitable tones said, "Dear me, dear me, Mr. Ruxton, you have eaten nothing— absolutely nothing! Is there nothing I could get to tempt you? I have kept a woodcock just for you and our excellent friend, Mr. Goldfish. Ah! there is a man, Mr. Ruxton! Such a man, sir, (forte ;) I often say what would we do only for him, sir, (piano,)—enormously rich-dines here four times a week. You really will not take anything more? dined so well! delighted, indeed! And how is my excel lent friend, Mr. Ginner? No indisposition, I hope? Ah, well, that's really well, sir. So glad to hear you believe him in his usual health." By this time a waiter had whispered something in Lave's ear. "And now, sir, I'll just give you, if you will allow me, a taste-just a taste-'pon my word, Mr. Ruxton, it's my last dozen of Prince Metternich's Cabinet hock-keep it just down there, between your legs-and give a glass or so to your vis-à-vis. Ah! Mr. Goldfish, you know what we have got here. Tell our excellent friend here, (myself) who has honored us with his company this evening, its history, I pray, sir. James, (to a waiter,) attend particularly to these gentlemen here, and to this gentleman especially, whom I have not seen before. No Champagne, but Moet and Chardensdo you like La Rose or Chateau Lafitte, as a claret? I think you will; I'll send both-now do, I beseech you, make yourselves comfortable." And Mr. Lave glided off to spread happiness round him, and to win the hearts of aldermen, common-council-men, stewards, and committee-men, by appeals to their vanity and their stomach. And now came "The Queen," "The Prince Albert," &c., which are irreverently described in the prints as the usual loyal toasts, and "The Army and Navy." Mr. Sims, of the City Artillery Company, returned thanks for the army, observing, that, when the time came, the corps to which he belonged would do its dooty, (great cheers,) and Lieut. Knocks, of the R. N., did the same for the navy, and in the course of his remarks introduced a spirited account of the battle of Copenhagen-the professionals warbling sweetly in the intervals, and Harkaway bellowing like all the bulls of Bashan, his perpetual injunctions to gentlemen to charge their glasses, as if poor human nature was not prone enough to do it without any such stimulus. My mind having been set at rest by an assurance from my stenographic friend on the right, that Lave would get me the names of the people at the other dinner, and that a line or two would be enough for it, I resigned myself to the joys of the table, amid which was Lord Cinderley's speech on the gradual approach of an ameliorated-mankind era, which he illustrated by some astounding statistics from all parts of the criminal world. The noble lord had spent the day in hunting up young thieves through all the alleys of London, in attending a dog-fight for the purpose of reforming two very pet criminals who hitherto obstinately refused to read tracts, and live on the fat of the land at the expense of the society, and in distributing some religious pocket-handkerchiefs; but as he had succeeded in capturing a cracksman out of luck, and two repentant cabbies, and taking them off to the retreat, he was in the best humor possible, and spoke sanguinely of his ultimate success. The end of that dinnerwhat was it? when was it? I know not. I remember a small room filled with cigar smoke, faces looming out above it, and the fumes of hot brandy and water; also a number of songs and broiled bones, and an enthusiastic speech from myself, in which I wished to embrace all the company, and hailed them all as my best friends-and then a cab to the "Deflagrator,”—a dignified but unsuccessful attempt to walk steadily up stairs, with a consciousness that men in white shirt sleeves were grinning at me-most extraordinary paper, and pens and ink, in a desk in a big room with a rotatory motion, and a poem commencing— "Sing, muse, sing the banquet of our Lave, Which not Lucullus ". The meeting with Dammer was awful. However, I got over it, and ever since I have been a "diner out" for the papers. It is not improbable but that I may give some account of the greatest and most remarkable of the wonderful scenes I have witnessed in that capacity-but it's very trying to the constitution. A COOKING EARL.-The Earl of Peterborough, among other things, was in the habit of stating that, during the War of the Succession, he had frequently been in danger of perishing for want of food; and that even when he could get it, he was often obliged to cook it himself; he thus became a good artist, and, from the force of habit, sometimes dressed his own dinner. Those who have dined with him at Parson's Green, have seen him at work in a dress for the purpose, like that of a tavern cook: he usually retired from his company about an hour before dinner-time, and having dispatched his culinary affairs, would return properly dressed to his place among the guests, and astonished them by his wit and varied information.—Warburton's Life of Peterborough. IBIS-SHOOTING IN THE SWAMPS OF LOUISIANA. small French or Creole settlement, with no other company than my gun; even without a dog, as my favorite spaniel had HE ibis (tantalus) is one of the most the day before been bitten by an alligator birds it is a creature of the warm climates, and is not found in either the northern or middle states-the tropics, and the countries contiguous to them, are its range. Louisiana, from its low elevation, possesses almost a tropical climate; and the ibis, of several varieties, is to be there met with in considerable numbers. There are few sorts of game I have not followed with horse, hound, or gun; and, among other sports, I have gone ibisshooting it was not so much for the sport, however, as that I wished to obtain some specimens for mounting. An adventure befell me in one of these excursions that may interest the reader. The southern part of the State of Louisiana is one vast labyrinth of swamps, bayous, and lagoons. These bayous are sluggish streams that glide sleepily along, sometimes running one way and sometimes the very opposite, according to the season. Many of them are outlets of the great Mississippi, which begins to shed off its waters more than three hundred miles from its mouth. These bayous are deep, sometimes narrow, sometimes wide, with islets in their midst. They and their contiguous swamps are the great habitat of the alligator and the freshwater shark-the gar. Numerous species of water and wading fowl fly over them, and plunge through their dark tide. Here you may see the red flamingo, the egret, the trumpeter-swan, the blue heron, the wild-goose, the crane, the snake-bird, the pelican, and the ibis; you may likewise sce the osprey, and the white-headed eagle robbing him of his prey. These swamps and bayous produce abundantly fish, reptile, and insect, and are, consequently, the favorite resort of hundreds of birds which prey upon these creatures. In some places, the bayous form a complete net-work over the country, which you may traverse with a small boat in almost any direction; indeed, this is the means by which many settlements communicate with each other. As you approach southward toward the Gulf, you get clear of the timber; and within some fifty miles of the sea, there is not a tree to be seen. It was near the edge of this open country I went ibis-shooting. I had set out from a of course in a boat, a light skiff, such as is commonly used by the inhabitants of the country. Occasionally using the paddles, I allowed myself to float some four or five miles down the main bayou; but as the birds I was in search of did not appear, I struck into a "branch," and sculled myself up stream. This carried me through a solitary region, with marshes stretching as far as the eye could see, covered with tall reeds. There was no habitation, nor aught that betokened the presence of man. It was just possible that I was the first human being who had ever found a motive for propelling a boat through the dark waters of this solitary stream. As I advanced, I fell in with my game; and I succeeded in bagging several, both of the great wood-ibis and the white species. I also shot a fine white-headed eagle, (Falco leucocephalus,) which came soaring over my boat, unconscious of danger. But the bird which I most wanted seemed that which could not be obtained. I wanted the scarlet ibis. I think I had rowed some three miles up-stream, and was about to take in my oars and leave my boat to float back again, when I perceived that, a little further up, the bayou widened. Curiosity prompted me to continue; and after pulling a few hundred strokes further, I found myself at the end of an oblong lake, a mile or so in length. It was deep, dark, marshy around the shores, and full of alligators. I saw their ugly forms and long serrated backs, as they floated about in all parts of it, hungrily hunting for fish and eating one another; but all this was nothing new, for I had witnessed similar scenes during the whole of my excursion. What drew my attention most, was a small islet near the middle of the lake, upon one end of which stood a row of upright forms of a bright scarlet color: these red creatures were the very objects I was in search of. They might be flamingoes; I could not tell at that distance. So much the better, if I could only succeed in getting a shot at them; but these creatures are even more wary than the ibis; and as the islet was low, and altogether without cover, it was not likely they would allow me to come within range; nevertheless, I was determined to make the attempt. I rowed up the lake, occasionally turning my head to see if the game had taken the alarm. The sun was hot and dazzling; and as the bright scarlet was magnified by refraction, I fancied for a long time they were flamingoes. This fancy was dissipated as I drew near. The outlines of the bills, like the blade of a saber, convinced me they were the ibis; besides, I now saw that they were only about three feet in hight, while the flamingoes stand five. There were a dozen of them in all. These were balancing themselves, as is their usual habit, on one leg, apparently asleep, or buried in deep thought. They were on the upper extremity of the islet, while I was approaching it from below. It was not over sixty yards across; and could I only reach the point nearest me, I knew my gun would throw shot to kill at that distance. I feared the stroke of the sculls would start them, and I pulled slowly and cautiously. Perhaps the great heat-for it was as hot a day as I can remember—had rendered them torpid or lazy. Whether or not, they sat still until the cut-water of my skiff touched the bank of the islet. I drew my gun up cautiously, took aim, and fired both barrels almost simultaneously. When the smoke cleared out of my eyes, I saw that all the birds had flown off except one, that lay stretched out by the edge of the water. Gun in hand, I leaped out of the boat, and ran across the islet to bag my game. This occupied but a few minutes; and I was turning to go back to the skiff, when, to my consternation, I saw it out upon the lake, and rapidly floating downward! In my haste I had left it unfastened, and the bayou current had carried it off. It was still but a hundred yards off, but it might as well have been a hundred miles, for at that time I could not swim a stroke. My first impulse was to rush down to the lake, and after the boat; this impulse was checked on arriving at the water's edge, which I saw at a glance was fathoms in depth. Quick reflection told me that the boat was gone-irrecoverably gone! I did not at first comprehend the full peril of my situation; nor will you. I was on an islet, in a lake, only half a mile from its shores-alone, it is true, and without a boat; but what of that? Many a man had been so before, with not an idea of danger. These were first thoughts, natural enough; but they rapidly gave place to others of a far different character. When I gazed after my boat, now beyond recovery-when I looked around, and saw that the lake lay in the middle of an interminable swamp, the shores of which, even could I have reached them, did not seem to promise me footing-when I reflected that, being unable to swim I could not reach them—that upon the islet there was neither tree, nor log, nor bush; not a stick out of which I might make a raftI say, when I reflected upon all these things, there arose in my mind a feeling of well-defined and absolute horror. It is true I was only in a lake, a mile or so in width; but so far as the peril and helplessness of my situation were concerned, I might as well have been upon a rock in the middle of the Atlantic. I knew that there was no settlement within miles miles of pathless swamp. I knew that no one could either see or hear me—no one was at all likely to come near the lake; indeed, I felt satisfied that my faithless boat was the first keel that had ever cut its waters. The very tameness of the birds wheeling round my head was evidence of this. I felt satisfied, too, that without some one to help me, I should never go out from that lake: I must die on the islet, or drown in attempting to leave it. These reflections rolled rapidly over my startled soul. The facts were clear, the hypothesis definite, the sequence certain; there was no ambiguity, no supposititious hinge upon which I could hang a hope; no, not one. I could not even expect that I should be missed and sought for: there was no one to search for me. The simple habitans of the village I had left knew me not— I was a stranger among them: they only knew me as a stranger, and fancied me a strange individual; one who made lonely excursions, and brought home bunches of weeds, with birds, insects, and reptiles, which they had never before seen, although gathered at their own doors. My absence, besides, would be nothing new to them, even though it lasted for days: I have often been absent before, a week at a time. There was no hope of my being missed. I have said that these reflections came and passed quickly. In less than a minute, my affrighted soul was in full possession of them, and almost yielded itself to despair. I shouted, but rather involuntarily |