1

HUMOUR.

BUT, Sir, of all those who have this day declared themselves

against a standing army, I am furprised at those who are called, by the patriots, placemen. I know they call us fo by way of contempt; but, whatever they think, I fhall never be afhamed of ferving my country, in any post the Crown pleases to put me in; nor can I look upon it as a difcredit to have an honour conferred upon me by what even the patriots themselves. must allow to be the only fountain of honour in the nation. I am convinced all placemen are of my opinion, and am furprised to hear any placeman arguing in favour of a reduction of the army; for we, who have commiffions in the army, must be allowed to be placemen as well as others; and if the spirit of reducing fhould prevail with refpect to military placemen, our civil placemen would do well to look to themfelves, for many of our civil pofts may be thought as dangerous and as ufelefs as most of our military nay, I do not know but this fpirit may at lak attack our established church, by reducing all the useless ecclefiaftical pofts in the kingdom; in which cafe, I do not know, but that it might, with some reason, be faid, the church is in danger. It is commonly said, that two of any trade can never agree; and yet we find, that it is natural for all thofe of a trade to unite together, and to form a fort of society for their mutual fupport. I think we placemen ought to do the fame; though we sometimes fall out about which of us fhall have the better place; yet, when the places themselves are attacked, we ought to unite together for fupporting the craft.

Sir J. Sander fon, Jan. 28, 1738.

SINCE

SINCE in the laft feffion we indulged a great many with the privilege of being abfent, though we knew they had no excuse, I think those that are now abfent have reafon to expect, at leaft, from them the fame indulgence. I fhall not find fault, Sir, with the privilege gentlemen took to themselves upon that occafion. Whatever was their pretence, they foon found their abfence condemned by the whole nation; and, I believe, they have fince heartily repented of what they did; which makes me, and I hope it has made their several constituents, readily. forgive them. But I cannot forbear taking notice, that the honourable gentleman who spoke laft (George Lyttelton, Efq.) puts me in mind of a merry paffage in a French play, where a gentleman afks a fervant, how her mafter does? In a fair way of doing well, Sir, faid fhe, for his phyficians have just taken their leave of him.

Horatio Walpole, Esq. Dec. 18, 1739%

It is true that I have been acceffary in bringing a milkman, as the honourable gentleman (Mr. Burke) has stated, before this House; but he was far from being one of the rabble; he was fo refpectable a character, that a magistrate absolutely refused to take four hundred pounds bail for his appearance. The chimney sweeper might also, for ought I know, be a man of as much confequence as fome of our modern patriots; nor fhould I wonder, if a modern patriot should be found disguised like a chimney fweeper. I will beg leave, Sir, to pit my chimney sweeper against Parson Horne; a man (for a gentleman I cannot call him) by no means fo refpectable as my milkman. I caused the milkman to be brought before you with the very fame intent for which you bring a printer to the bar, to difcover the author. Modern patriots hired the rabble to traduce their betters; modern are as much like ancient patriots, as much like Cato, or Brutus, as the milkman was like a Feer. Had I, on that occafion, been properly fupported, the Houfe would not now be troubled; but I was traduced, and my life was threat

ened,

ened, but I only laughed at it! Indeed, I only fhared an equal fate with other respectable perfonages. I had the honour, Sir, (addreffing himself to the Speaker) to be hanged, in effigy, on Tower Hill, on the fame gibbet with you.-Indeed, in the dying fpeeches, the patriots paid me the highest compliment, for they gave out, that I died a penitent; but that you, Sir, remained hardened to the laft.

Col. Onflow, Feb. 16, 1773.

FROM what accurfed examples our prevailing fyftem of politics is drawn I am at a lofs to discover. I can conceive there is nothing of a similar complection amidst all the voluptuous annals of mankind, unless it be met with in the Memoirs of Dionyfius, tyrant of Syracufe; Sir, that monfter being determined upon the ruin of a free people of Reggio, imposed on them certain exactions, with which he was perfuaded they had not the ability to comply.-Hence he found a pretext to invest their territories with a formidable army. After a gallant and desperate defence, they were reduced to an unconditional furrender. Dionyfius then laid their city in afhes, condemned many of the inhabitants to cruel tortures, and fold the rest for slaves, by beat of drum, to the highest bidder, in a public market place.-How happy, Sir, would it make that mirror of good qualities, our Firft Lord Commiffioner of the Admiralty, were he appointed drummer at the city of New York on a like occafion!

Hon. Temple Luttrell, O. 31, 1776.

The words "influence the members," and " increase the influence of the Crown," were the current and fashionable expreffions úfed in a former debate, as well as the prefent, which fubftantially imports the fame with the words which have now given fuch high offence.-For my part, I can fee little difference, if any, between influence and corrupt influence, and corrupt influence and downwright plain corruption. I must VOL. II. confefs,

M

T

confefs, that the found, however, of the letter is coarfe and impolite, when compared with the former. On this ground, therefore, the whole matter may be explained, to the entire fatisfaction of all parties; thofe who like, and those who diflike, the word corruption; for though it fhould be given up by one fide, the fenfe will be ftill retained, and it will completely fatisfy fuch as difapprove of it, that it is to be discarded for ever out of the parliamentary vocabulary. The honourable gentleman (Mr. Alderman Sawbridge) with whom fome appear to be fo much offended, is a citizen, and has not attained to that height of polite phrafeology, for which fuch as happily refide at the other end of the town are so justly diftinguithed; for which reafon, what a courtier, or an inhabitant of the weft end of the town call influence, the worthy Alderman, according to his grofs mode of expreffion, very improperly calls corruption.

Mr. Burke, April 18, 1777.

THE noble Lord in the blue ribband (Lord North) has difcovered the prettieft method imaginable to recover America. It is, I must confefs, a new way; but what of that? it is a forcible, and, for that reason, a fuccefsful way? How does his Lordship mean to treat? Why we have been beaten pretty tolerably. One General and his army are loft, the other is furrounded, and in danger; when the other fhall be loft, then will be the time to treat. We have been unsuccessful almost in every thing; but it feems, by the noble Lord's new logic, we have not yet been unfuccessful enough. If treaty is fpoken of, his Lordship wishes for it, and the end propofed by it; if war is fpoken of, his Lordship promises fuccefs. In fhort, whether it be conqueft, unconditional fubmiffion, treaty, conciliation, taxation, fovereignty, or treating with rebels with arms in their hands, he is for every one of them, and for none of them, but that which immediately answers the temporary purposes of débate; that of voting in a majority, of keeping his place,

by

by keeping his friends together, of urging the violent, foftening the antagonists, and meeting exactly the ideas of the ma derate.

Mr. Fox, Dec. 10, 1777.

I rife, Sir, to object to the motion of the honourable baronet (Sir George Saville) for laying before the House a lift of penfioners. Many deferving perfons enjoy His Majesty's bounty, who would not wish their names made public; fome reduced gentry stand in the fame predicament; and there are many Lady Bridgets, Lady Maries and Jennies, who would be much hurt at having their names entered in the proceedings of this Houfe as Penfioners of the State. Pride in general is apt to extend its influeuce more or less every where; but female pride is fanctioned, and partly approved of by cuftom; but if Lady Mary and Lady Jenny, who pass as perfons of confequence in their refpective neighbourhoods, were discovered to be mere penfioners and dependants on a Court, they would foon lofe the respect which their rank entitles them to. I know there are several of thefe Lady Maries and Lady Jennies from North Britain; and furely it would be cruel to rob them of their rights. There are fome of these ladies in Ireland, at least some who have penfions on the Irish establishment, who, when they have a good thing, do not like to lose it.

Lord Nugent, Feb. 15, 1780,

The honourable gentleman (Mr. Coventry) has declared, that men go to jail to enjoy the luxuries of a prifon, and that four pence a day is a luxury to a debtor, which he ought not to have; and hence he opposes the bill brought in by the noble Lord (Lord Beauchamp) for allowing debtors four pence a day, and clearing perfons in execution after fo long a term of imprisonment, by giving up their eftates. The tables are now fairly turned on the noble Lord, and his bill is so far from being founded, as every body has fuppofed, on benevolence and huma