POOR RELATIONS FORGOTTEN. 85 Some want to talk only about themselves, and what pertains to themselves. And per haps selfishness, the most unpardonable selfishness in the world, is manifested in our daily social intercourse. We want to spend the time in talking about ourselves or our great and rich friends, but say, very little about our poor relations, though every body has poor relations, however high they may carry their heads. It is a great talent to be able to be agreeable in conversation. The great secret of it is to be willing to forget yourself, and try to please others. "To hear patiently and to answer precisely," says Rochefoucault, "are the great perfections of conversation. One reason why we meet so few persons who are reasonable and agreeable in conversation is, that there is scarcely any one who does not think more of what he has to say than of answering what is said to him." When you hear another talk, do not try to think what you are to say when he stops. Fix your mind and keep your mind on what he is saying, and your reply will come of itself, if you have any reply. The great secret of 86 SMALL COIN OF LIFE. But making others happy in our intercourse with them is to forget ourselves entirely, and let all our interests, for the time, be swallowed up in theirs. "Our happiness depends less upon the art of pleasing than upon a uniform disposition to please. The difference is that which exists between ceremony and sincerity." It is not merely for the sake of passing your time, or of being entertained, that you have intercourse one with another. you wish to make it an influence in sweetening the disposition, cultivating your kind feelings, and drawing out your benevolence. It is the small coin of life, no one piece of which is of very great value, but with it we make vastly more purchases than with our bank-notes and heavy gold. It is in the power of most school-girls to learn more about conversation at school, as well as about books, than anywhere else. Here you are equals and every one has the power of directing the conversation in the right way for improvement. Cultivate," says says Professor Francke, "a talent for directing the conversation in a proper channel. Never change ce the conversation from a profitable subject. Much is to be learned, both in discipline of the mind and in the collection of facts, by much conversation on the same topic. Never interrupt a person who is speaking, and be silent if you yourself are interrupted.” We Some young misses think that the character of a hoyden, a kind of thoughtless romp, is a beautiful disguise under which they can conceal themselves, and make folly and rudeness pass for wisdom and propriety. But they forget that we cannot respect the calf, though we may be amused at his gambols. cannot love where we cannot respect. We have had the misfortune to know a very few ladies who wore pantaloons on occasions, and who could climb trees for crows' nests before breakfast, and leap fences and shoot with a double-barrelled gun; but we never found it in us to respect them. You always draw yourself up when you see such a young lady, not knowing what may come next. You can imagine how horses would run side by side, but when you see the heifer taking her stand to run, you do not know what the crea 88% A BEAUTIFUL COMPARISON. ture may do. Let no one feel that she can challenge admiration by putting off her sex and laying aside the delicacy of the true lady, even though she might come out in the skin and the voice of the lion. Trifles make up life; and "true politeness. is benevolence in trifles." You cannot expect every day to do some great thing to confer happiness around you; but every day you can do little acts of courtesy. You can forbear to utter an unkind remark, a cutting sarcasm, an unpleasant truth, and a mortifying remark; and you can by tone and voice and words every day make one or more happy. If you cannot remove mountains from the paths of your companions, you can shew kindness and gentleness. "A gentle spirit is like ripe fruit, which bends so low that it is at the mercy of every one who chooses to pluck it, while the harder fruit keeps out of reach. No one living in society can be independent." It is small, frequent wounds which are so hard to bear. The horse may now and then step on your foot and cause you great pain; but we suffer far more THE ALWAYS MISERABLE. 89 from the impudent horse-fly, whose foot only tickles as he walks over your nose. One great thing to be attended to is an unflinching, unalterable cheerfulness. Some people have no sunny side to their houses. They eat, drink, sleep, and summer only on the north, cold, damp, mouldy side of the house. They seem to feel that, if they are not martyrs to religion, they must be to circumstances. They do not know how it is, but they have more trials, more misfortunes, than any body else. All the colours of the rainbow are gathered into blue, and the clear sunshine would be pleasant, were it not that it is always followed by bad weather. The moon would look bright, but she, too, is surrounded by a ring, which foretells a long storm. The spring would be pleasant, but it gets here so late. The summer would do better, but it is always so hot. The autumn is sad, because the leaves decay and fall; and who does not know that winter is all horrors ! If there be a great, a certain curse, from which you should strive and pray to be delivered, it is a murmuring disposition. |