Ah then, ah then, If country loves such sweet desires do gain, He kisseth first, then sits as blithe to eat For kings have often fears when they do sup, If country loves such sweet desires do gain, Upon his couch of straw he sleeps as sound For cares cause kings full oft their sleep to spill, If country loves such sweet desires do gain, Thus with his wife he spends the year, as blithe And blither too, 3 For kings have wars and broils to take in hand, If country loves such sweet desires do gain, 1 Swain, a rustic youth. 2 More sounder, double comparatives, like this, common in the sixteenth century, when this was written. They are now considered ungrammatical. 3 Tide or sith, old words, meaning time. ON CONVERSATION. SIR MATTHEW HALE TO HIS CHILDREN. EVER speak anything for a truth which yon know NEV or believe to be false. Lying is a great sin against God, who gave us a tongue to speak truth, and not falsehood. It is a great offence against humanity itself. For where there is no regard to truth, there can be no safe society between man and man. And it is an injury to the speaker; for besides the disgrace which it brings upon him, it occasions so much baseness of mind, that he can scarcely tell truth, or avoid lying even when he has no necessity for it; and in time he comes to such a pass, that as other people cannot believe he speaks truth, so he himself scarcely knows when he tells a falsehood. As you must be careful not to lie, so you must avoid coming near it. You must not equivocate,1 nor speak anything positively for which you have no authority but report, or conjecture, or opinion. Let your words be few, especially when your superiors or strangers are present, lest you betray your own weakness and rob yourselves of the opportunity which you might otherwise have had to gain knowledge, wisdom, and experience, by hearing those whom you silence by your impertinent talking. Be not too earnest, loud, or violent in your conversation. Silence your opponent with reason, not with noise. Be careful not to interrupt another when he is speaking; hear him out, and you will understand him the better, and you will be able to give him the better answer. Consider before you speak, especially when the busi 2 ness is of moment; weigh the sense of what you mean to utter, and the expressions you intend to use, that they be significant, pertinent, and inoffensive. Inconsiderate persons do not think till they speak; or they speak, and then think. 3 Some men excel in husbandry, some in gardening, some in mathematics. In conversation learn, as near as you can, where the skill or excellence of any person lies. Put him upon talking on that subject; observe what he says; keep it in your memory, or commit it to writing. By this means you will glean the worth and knowledge of everybody you converse with, and at an easy rate acquire what may be of use to you on many occasions. When you are in company with light, vain, impertinent persons, let the observing of their failings make you the more cautious, both in your conversation with them and your general behaviour, that you may avoid their errors. If any one whom you do not know to be a person of truth, sobriety, and weight relates strange stories, be not too ready to believe or report them; and yet be not too forward to contradict him. If the occasion requires you to declare your opinion, do it modestly and gently, not bluntly nor coarsely. By this means you will avoid giving offence, or being abused for too much credulity." If a man whose integrity you do not very well know makes you great and extraordinary professions, do not give too much credit to him. Probably you will find that he aims at something besides kindness to you, and that when you have served his turn, or disappointed his hopes, his regard for you will grow cool. Beware also of him who flatters you and commends you to your face, or to one he thinks will tell you of it. Most probably he has either deceived and abused you, or means to do so. Remember the fable of the fox commending the singing of the crow, who had something in her mouth which the fox wanted. Be careful that you do not commend yourselves. It is a sign that your reputation is small and sinking if your own tongue must praise you; and it is fulsome and unpleasing to others to hear such commendations. Speak well of the absent whenever you have a suitable opportunity. Never speak ill of them or of anybody, unless you are sure they deserve it, and unless it is necessary for their amendment, or for the safety and benefit of others. Avoid, in your ordinary communications, not only oaths, but all imprecations and earnest protestations." Forbear scoffing and jesting at the condition or natural defects of any person. Such offences leave a deep impression, and they often cost a man dear. Be very careful that you give no reproachful, menacing, or spiteful words to any person. Good words make friends, bad words make enemies. It is great prudence to gain as many friends as we honestly can, especially when it may be done at so easy a rate as a good word; and it is great folly to make an enemy by ill words, which are of no advantage to the party who uses them. When faults are committed, they may, and by a superior they must, be reproved; but let it be done without reproach or bitterness, otherwise it will lose its due end, and, instead of reforming the offence, it will exasperate the offender, and lay the reprover justly open to reproof. If a person be passionate, and give you ill language, rather pity him than be moved to anger. You will 8 find that silence, or very gentle words, is the most exquisite revenge for reproaches: they will either cure the distemper in the angry man, and make him sorry for his passion, or they will be a severe reproof and punishment to him. But at any rate they will preserve your innocence, give you the deserved reputation of wisdom and moderation, and keep up the serenity and composure of your mind. Passion and anger make a man unfit for everything that becomes him as a man or as a Christian. Read these directions often, think of them seriously, and practise them diligently. You will find them useful in your conversation, which will be every day the more evident to you as your judgment, understanding, and experience increase. I ONE OF MR. CROWFIELD'S MOODS. T was evening, and I had just laid up the fire in the most approved style of architecture,' and projecting my feet into my slippers, sat, spitefully cutting the leaves of a caustic review. Mrs. Crowfield took the tongs and altered the disposition of a stick. My dear," I said, "I do wish you'd let the fire alone. You always put it out." "I was merely admitting a little air between the sticks," said my wife. |