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CONTAINING DIVERS INGENIOUS THEORIES AND PHILOSO-
PHIC SPECULATIONS, CONCERNING THE CREATION AND
POPULATION OF THE WORLD, AS CONNECTED WITH THE
HISTORY OF NEW YORK.
CHAP. I.-Description of the World
33
43
CHAP. II.-Cosmogony, or Creation of the World; with
a multitude of excellent theories, by which the creation
of a world is shown to be no such difficult matter as
common folk would imagine
CHAP. III.-How that famous navigator, Noah, was
shamefully nick-named; and how he committed an
unpardonable oversight in not having four sons. With
the great trouble of philosophers caused thereby, and
the discovery of America
56
CHAP. IV. Showing the great difficulty Philosophers
have had in peopling America-And how the Abori-
CONTENTS.
gines came to be begotten by accident-to the great
relief and satisfaction of the Author 65
CHAP. V.-In which the Author puts a mighty question
to the rout, by the assistance of the Man in the Moon
-which not only delivers thousands of people from
great embarrassment, but likewise concludes this intro-
ductory book
BOOK II.
75
TREATING OF THE FIRST SETTLEMENT OF THE PROVINCE
OF NIEUW NEDERLANDTS.
CHAP. I.-In which are contained divers reasons why a
man should not write in a hurry. Also of Master
Hendrick Hudson, his discovery of a strange country
-and how he was magnificently rewarded by the mu-
nificence of their High Mightinesses
99
CHAP. II.-Containing an account of a mighty Ark which
floated, under the protection of St. Nicholas, from
Holland to Gibbet Island-the descent of the strange
Animals therefrom-a great victory, and a description
of the ancient village of Communipaw
114
CHAP. III. In which is set forth the true art of making
a bargain-together with the miraculous escape of a
great Metropolis in a fog-and the biography of cer-
tain heroes of Communipaw
124
135
CHAP. IV.-How the heroes of Communipaw voyaged
to Hell-Gate, and how they were received there
CHAP. V. How the heroes of Communipaw returned
somewhat wiser than they went-and how the sage
Oloffe dreamed a dream—and the dream that he
dreamed
151
CHAP. VI.-Containing an attempt at etymology-and
of the founding of the great city of New-Amsterdam
158
CHAP. VII.-How the city of New-Amsterdam waxed
great, under the protection of Oloffe the Dreamer 169
BOOK III.
IN WHICH IS RECORDED THE GOLDEN REIGN OF WOUTER
VAN TWILLER.
CHAP. I.—Of the renowned Wouter Van Twiller, his un-
paralleled virtues-as likewise his unutterable wisdom
in the law case of Wandle Schoonhoven and Barent
Bleecker-and the great admiration of the public
thereat
178
CHAP. II.—Containing some account of the grand coun-
cil of New-Amsterdam, as also divers especial good
philosophical reasons why an alderman should be fat-
with other particulars touching the state of the pro-
190
vince
CHAP. III.-How the town of New-Amsterdam arose
out of mud, and came to be marvellously polished and
polite-together with a picture of the manners of our
great great grandfathers 204
CHAP. IV.-Containing further particulars of the Golden
Age, and what constituted a fine Lady and Gentleman
in the days of Walter the Doubter.
215
CHAP. V.—In which the reader is beguiled into a delect-
able walk, which ends very differently from what it
commenced
224
CHAP. VI.-Faithfully discribing the ingenious people of
Connecticut and thereabouts-Showing, moreover, the
true meaning of liberty of conscience, and a curious de-
vice among these sturdy barbarians, to keep up a har-
mony of intercourse, and promote population
CHAP. VII.-How these singular barbarians turned out to
be notorious squatters. How they built air castles, and
attempted to initiate the Nederlanders in the mystery
of bundling
232
240
CHAP. VIII.-How the fort Goed Hoop was fearfully
beleaguered-how the renowned Wouter fell into a
profound doubt, and how he finally evaporated.. 248
BOOK IV.
CONTAINING THE CHRONICLES OF THE REIGN OF WILLIAM
THE TESTY.
258
CHAP. I. Showing the nature of history in general: con-
taining furthermore the universal acquirements of Wil-
liam the Testy, and how a man may learn so much as
to render himself good for nothing.
CHAP. II.-In which are recorded the sage projects of a
ruler of universal genius. The art of fighting by pro-
clamation, and how that the valiant Jacobus Van
Curlet came to be foully dishonoured at fort Goed
Hoop
272
CHAP. III.-Containing the fearful wrath of William the
Testy, and the great dolour of the New-Amsterdam-
mers; because of the affair of fort Goed Hoop. And,
moreover, how William the Testy did strongly fortify
the city. Together with the exploits of Stoffel Brin-
kerhoff
282
CHAP. IV. Philosophical reflections on the folly of
being happy in times of prosperity.-Sundry troubles
on the sonthern frontiers.-How William the Testy
had well nigh ruined the province through a cabalistic
word. As also the secret expedition of Jan Jansen
Alpendam, and his astonishing reward
294
CHAP. V.-HOW William the Testy enriched the province
by a multitude of laws, and came to be the patron of
lawyers and bum-bailiffs. And how the people became
exceedingly enlightened and unhappy under his in-
-
307
structions.
CHAP. VI. Of the great pipe-plot—and of the dolorous
perplexities into which William the Testy was thrown
by reason of his having enlightened the multitude 319
CHAP. VII.-Containing divers fearful accounts of Bor-
der wars, and the flagrant outrages of the Moss-
troopers of Connecticut-with the rise of the great
Amphyctionic council of the east, and the decline of
William the Testy
329