Eva. 'Pless my soul! how full of cholers I am, and trembling of mind!-I shall be glad, if he have deceived me:-how melancholies I am!—I will knog his urinals about his knave's costard, when I have good opportunities for the 'ork:-'pless my soul!

[Sings

To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals;
There will we make our peds of roses,
And a thousand fragrant posies,

To shallow

Eva. Got's will, and his passion of my heart! I had as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.

Page. Why?

Eva. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen,-and he is a knave besides; a cowardly knave, as you would desires to be acquainted withal. Page. I warrant you he's the man should fight with him.

Slen. O, sweet Anne Page!

Shal. It appears so, by his weapons:- Keep them asunder;-here comes doctor Caius.

Enter HOST, CAIUS, and RUGBY.

Page. Nay, good master parson, keep in your

weapon.

Shal. So do you, good master doctor. Host. Disarm them, and let them question: let them keep their limbs whole, and hack our English. Caius. I pray you, let-a me speak a word vit your ear: verefore vill you not meet-a me?

Eva. Pray you, use your patience: In good time. Caius. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.

Eva. Pray you, let us not be laughing-stogs to

Melodious birds sing madrigals; When as I sat in Pabylon,— And a thousand vagram posies.

To shallow

Sim. Yonder he is coming, this way, sir Hugh.
Eva. He's welcome :-

To shallow rivers, to whose fallsHeaven prosper the right!-What weapons is he? Sim. No weapons, sir: There comes my master, master Shallow, and another gentleman from Frogmore, over the stile, this way.

Eva. Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms.

Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER. Shal. How now, master parson? Good morrow, good sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice and a good student from his book, and it is wonderful. Slen. Ah, sweet Anne Page! Page. 'Save you, good sir Hugh!

Eva. 'Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you! Shal. What! the sword and the word! do you study them both, master parson?

Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, this raw rheumatic day?

Eva. There is reasons and causes for it. Page. We are come to you, to do a good office, master parson.

Eva. Fery well: What is it?

Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who belike, having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience, that ever you saw.

Shal. I have lived fourscore years and upwards; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect?

Eva. What is he?

and I will one way or other make you amends: and I will knog your urinals about your knave's cogscomb, for missing your meetings and appoint

ments.

Caius. Diable!-Jack Rugby,-mine Host de Jarterre, have I not stay for him, to kill him? have I not, at de place I did appoint?

Eva. As I am a christians soul, now, look you, mine host of the Garter. this is the place appointed; I'll be judgment by

Host. Peace, I say, Guallia and Gaul, French and Welsh; soul-curer and body-curer.

Caius. Ay, dat is very good! excellent! Host. Peace, I say; hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions, and the motions. Shall I lose my parson? my priest? my sir Hugh? no; he gives me the proverbs and the noverbs.-Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so-Give me thy hand, celestial; so.— directed you to wrong places: your hearts are Boys of art, I have deceived you both; I have mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue.-Come, lay their swords to pawn:Follow me, lad of peace; follow, follow, follow. Shal. Trust me, a mad host:-Follow, gentlemen, follow.

Slen. O, sweet Anne Page!

[Exeunt SHAL., SLEN., PAGE, and Host. Caius. Ha! do I perceive dat? have you make-a de sot of us? ha, ha!

Eva. This is well; he has made us his vloutingstog.-I desire you, that we may be friends; and this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the let us knog our prains together, to be revenge on host of the Garter.

9 Head.

me too.

Eva. Well, I will smite his noddles:-Pray you, follow.

[Exeunt.

SCENE II.-The Street in Windsor.

Enter Mistress PAGE and ROBIN.

Mrs. Page. Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader: Whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels?

Rob. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man, than follow him like a dwarf.

Mrs. Page. O you are a flattering boy; now, I see, you'll be a courtier.

Enter FORD.

Ford. Well met, mistress Page: Whither go you?

Mrs. Page. Truly, sir, to see your wife: Is she at home?

Ford. Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company: I think if your husbands were dead, you two would marry.

Mrs. Page. Be sure of that,-two other husbands. Ford. Where had you this pretty weather-cock? Mrs. Page. I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of: What do you call your knight's name, sirrah?

Rob. Sir John Falstaff. Ford. Sir John Falstaff!

Mrs. Page. He, he; I can never hit on's name. There is such a league between my good man and he! Is your wife at home, indeed?

Ford. Indeed, she is.

Mrs. Page. By your leave, sir;-I am sick, till I see her. [Exeunt Mrs. PAGE and ROBIN. Ford. Has Page any brains? hath he any eyes? hath he any thinking? Sure they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty miles, as easy as a cannon will shoot pointblank twelve score. He pieces-out his wife's inclination; he gives her folly motion, and advantage: and now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A man may hear this shower sing in the wind!—and Falstaff's boy with her!-Good plots!-they are laid; and our revolted wives share damnation together. Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from the so seeming mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and wilful Actæon; and to these violent proceedings all my neighbors shall cry aim. [Clock strikes.] The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me search; there I shall find Falstaff: I shall be rather praised for this than mocked; for it is as positive as the earth is firm, that Falstaff is there: I will go. Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, Host, Sir HUGH EVANS, CAIUS, and RUGBY.

Shal., Page, &c. Well met, master Ford. Ford. Trust me, a good knot: I have good cheer at home; and I pray you, all go with me.

Shal. I must excuse myself, master Ford. · Slen. And so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for more money than I'll speak of.

Shal. We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day

we shall have our answer.

Slen. I hope I have your good-will, father Page. Page. You have, master Slender; I stand wholly for you:-but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether.

Caius. Ay, by gar; and de maid is love-a me; my nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.

1 Shall encourage.

Page. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having: he kept company with the wild Prince and Poins; he is of too high a region, he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance: if he take her, let him take her simply; the wealth I have, waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way.

Ford. I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will show you a monster. Master doctor, you shall go;-so shall you, master Page; and you, sir Hugh.

Shal. Well, fare you well:-we shall have the freer wooing at master Page's.

[Exeunt SHALLOW and SLENDER. Caius. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. [Exit RUGBY. Host. Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him.

[Exit Host. Ford. [Aside.] I think, I shall drink in pipe-wine first with him; I'll make him dance. Will you go, gentles?

All. Have with you, to see this monster. [Exeunt. SCENE III-A Room in Ford's House.

Enter Mrs. FORD and Mrs. PAGE. Mrs. Ford. What, John! what, Robert! Mrs. Page. Quickly, quickly: Is the buck-bas

ket

Mrs. Ford. I warrant:-What, Robin, I say. Enter Servants with a basket. Mrs. Page. Come, come, come. Mrs. Ford. Here, set it down. Mrs. Page. Give your men the charge; we must be brief.

Mrs. Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John and Robert, be ready here hard by in the brewhouse; and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and (without any pause, or staggering) take this basket on your shoulders: that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry it among the whitsters in Datchet-mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch, close by the Thames' side.

Mrs. Page. You will do it?

Mrs. Ford. I have told them over and over; they lack no direction: Begone, and come when you [Exeunt Servants. Mrs. Page. Here comes little Robin.

are called.

Enter ROBIN. Mrs. Ford. How now, my eyas-musket?' what news with you?

Rob. My master, sir John, is come in at your backdoor, mistress Ford; and requests your company. Mrs. Page. You little Jack-a-lent,' have you been true to us?

of your being here; and hath threatened to put me Rob. Ay, I'll be sworn: My master knows not into everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it; for, he swears, he'll turn me away.

thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee Mrs. Page. Thou'rt a good boy; this secrecy of a new doublet and hose.-I'll go hide me.

Mrs. Ford. Do so:-Go tell thy master, I am alone. Mistress Page, remember you your cue. [Exit ROBIN. Mrs. Page. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss me. [Exit Mrs. PAGE. Mrs. Ford. Go to then; we'll use this unwholesome humidity, this gross watery pumpion; we'll teach him to know turtles from jays.

Enter FALSTAFF.

Fal. Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel! Why, now let me die, for I have lived long enough: this is the period of my ambition: O this blessed hour!

Mrs. Ford. O sweet sir John!

Fal. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would thy husband were dead; I'll speak it before the best lord, I would make thee my lady.

Mrs. Ford. I your lady, sir John! alas, I should be a pitiful lady.

Fal. Let the court of France show me such another: I see how thine eye would emulate the diamond: Thou hast the right arched bent of the brow, that becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of Venetian admittance.

Mrs. Ford. A plain kerchief, sir John: my brows become nothing else; nor that well neither.

Fal. Thou art a traitor to say so: thou wouldst make an absolute courtier: and the firm fixture of thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait, in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou wert, if fortune thy foe were not; nature is thy friend: Come, thou canst not hide it.

me.

Mrs. Ford. Believe me, there's no such thing in

Fal. What made me love thee? let that persuade thee, there's something extraordinary in thee.Come, I cannot cog, and say, thou art this and that, like a many of these lisping haw-thorn buds, that come like women in men's apparel, and smell like Bucklers-bury in simple-time; I cannot: but I love thee; none but thee; and thou deservest it. Mrs. Ford. Do not betray me, sir; I fear, you love mistress Page.

Fal. Thou mightst as well say, I love to walk by the Counter-gate; which is as hateful to me as the reek of a lime-kiln.

Mrs. Ford. Well heaven knows, how I love and you shall one day find it.

Mrs. Ford. What cause of suspicion? Mrs. Page. What cause of suspicion ?-Out upon you! how am I mistook in you!

Mrs. Ford. Why, alas! what's the matter? Mrs. Page. Your husband's coming hither, woman, with all the officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman, that, he says, is here, now in the house, by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence: you are undone.

Mrs. Ford. Speak louder. [Aside.]-'Tis not so, I hope.

Mrs. Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man here; but 'tis most certain your husband's coming with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a one. I come before to tell you: If you know yourself clear, why I am glad of it: but if you have a friend here, convey, convey him out. Be not amazed: call all your senses to you: defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever.

Mrs. Ford. What shall I do?-There is a gentleman, my dear friend: and I fear not mine own shame, so much as his peril: I had rather than a thousand pound, he were out of the house.

Mrs. Page. For shame, never stand you had rather, and you had rather; your husband's here at hand, bethink you of some conveyance: in the house you cannot hide him.-O, how have you deceived me!-Look, here is a basket: if he be of any reasonable stature, he may creep in here; and throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to bucking: Or, it is whiting-time,' send him by your two men to Datchet-mead.

Mrs. Ford. He's too big to go in there: What shall I do?

Re-enter FALSTAFF.

Fal. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not be in that mind.

Rob. [within.] Mistress Ford, mistress Ford! here's mistress Page at the door, sweating, and blowing, and looking wildly, and would needs speak with you presently.

Fal. She shall not see me; I will ensconce" me behind the arras.

Mrs. Ford. Pray you, do so; she's a very tattling [FALSTAFF hides himself.

woman.

Mrs. Ford. What, John, Robert, John! [Exit ROBIN; Re-enter Servants.] Go, take up these clothes here, quickly; Where's the cowl-staff? look, how you drumble; carry them to the laundress in Datchet-mead; quickly, come. Enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and Sir HUGH EVANS.

Ford. Pray you, come near: if I suspect without cause, why then make sport at me, then let me be your jest; I deserve it.-How now? whither bear you this?

Serv. To the laundress, forsooth.
Mrs. Ford.
they bear it?
washing.

Why, what have you to do whither
You were best meddle with buck-

Ford. Buck? I would I could wash myself of the buck! Buck, buck, buck? Ay, buck; I warrant you, buck; and of the season too, it shall appear.

Exeunt Servants with the basket.] Gentlemen, I have dreamed to-night: I'll tell you my dream. Here, here, here be my keys: ascend my chambers, search, seek, find out: I'll warrant we'll unkennel

Bleaching time.

• A staff for carrying a large tub or basket. • Drone.

Page. Good master Ford, be contented: you wrong yourself too much.

Ford. True, master Page.-Up, gentlemen; you shall see sport anon: follow me, gentlemen. [Exit. Eva. This is fery fantastical humors, and jealousies.

Caius. By gar, 'tis no de fashion of France: it is not jealous in France.

Page. Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his search. [Exeunt EVANS, PAGE, and CAIUS. Mrs. Page. Is there not a double excellency in this?

Mrs. Ford. I know not which pleases me better, that my husband is deceived, or sir John.

Mrs. Page. What a taking was he in, when your husband asked who was in the basket?

Mrs. Ford. I am half afraid he will have need of washing; so throwing him into the water will do him a benefit.

Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would, all of the same strain were in the same distress. Mrs. Ford. I think my husband hath some special suspicion of Falstaff's being here: for I never saw him so gross in his jealousy till now. Mrs. Page. I will lay a plot to try that: And we will yet have more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will scarce obey this medicine.

Mrs. Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion, mistress Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the water; and give him another hope, to betray him into another punishment? Mrs. Page. We'll do it; let him be sent for tomorrow eight o'clock, to have amends.

Re-enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and Sir HUGH EVANS.

Ford. I cannot find him: may be the knave bragged of that he could not compass. Mrs. Page. Heard you that?

birding together; I have a fine hawk for the bush: Shall it be so?

Ford. Any thing.

Eva. If there is one, I shall make two in the company.

Caius. If there be one or two, I shall make-a de tird.

Eva. In your teeth: for shame.
Ford. Pray you go, master Page.

Eva. I pray you now, remembrance to morrow on the lousy knave, mine host.

Caius. Dat is good; by gar, vit all my heart. Eva. A lousy knave; to have his gibes and his mockeries. [Exeunt.

Fent. No, heaven so speed me in my time to come!

Albeit, I will confess, thy father's wealth
Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne:
Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value
Than stamps in gold, or sums in sealed bags;
And 'tis the very riches of thyself
That now I aim at.

Anne.

master Ford, do you?

Ford. Ay, I do so.

Cannot attain it, why then-Hark you hither. [They converse apart.

Ford. Amen.

Ford. Ay, ay; I must bear it

Eva. If there be anypody in the house, and in the chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgment! Caius. By gar, nor I too; dere is no bodies. Page. Fie, fie, master Ford! are you not ashamed? What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination? I would not have your distemper in this kind, for the wealth of Windsor Castle.

Ford. "Tis my fault, master Page: I suffer for it. Eva. You suffer for a pad conscience; your wife is as honest a 'omans, as I will desires among five thousand, and five hundred too.

Caius. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman. Ford. Well;-I promised you a dinner:Come, come, walk in the park: I pray you, pardon me; I will hereafter make known to you, why I have done this. Come, wife;-come mistress Page: I pray you pardon me; pray heartily, pardon

me.

Page. Let's go in, gentlemen; but trust me, we'll mock him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my house to breakfast; after, we'll a 1 Unbag the fox.

Slen. I'll make a shaft or a bolt on't:' slid, 'tis but venturing.

Shal. Be not dismay'd.

Slen. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that, but that I am afeard.

Quick. Hark ye; master Slender would speak a word with you.

Anne. I come to him.-This is my father's choice.

O, what a world of vile ill-favor'd faults Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year! [Aside.

Quick. And how does good master Fenton? Pray you, a word with you.

Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou

hadst a father.

Slen. I had a father, mistress Anne;-my uncle can tell you good jests of him:-Pray you, uncle, tell mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of a pen, good uncle.

Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you. Slen. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman in Gloucestershire.

A proverb-a shaft was a long arrow, and a bolt a thick short one.

Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. Slen. Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a 'squire.

Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.

Anne. Good master Shallow, let him woo for himself.

Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that good comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll leave you.

Anne. Now, master Slender.

Slen. Now, good mistress Anne.
Anne. What is your will?

Slen. My will? od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.

Anne. I mean, master Slender, what would y you with me?

Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing with you: Your father, and my uncle, have made motions: if it be my luck, so: if not, happy man be his dole! They can tell you how things go, better than I can: You may ask your father; here he comes.

Enter PAGE, and Mistress PAGE.

Page. Now, master Slender :--Love him, daugh

ter Anne.

Why, how now! what does master Fenton here? You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house: I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos'd of.

Fent. Nay, master Page, be not impatient. Mrs. Page. Good master Fenton, come not to my child.

Page. She is no match for you.
Fent. Sir, will you hear me?
Page.

No, good master Fenton.

Quick. Now heaven send thee good fortune! A kind heart he hath: a woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet, I would my master had mistress Anne; or I would master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I would master Fenton had her: I will do what I can for them all three; for so I have promised, and I'll be as good as my word; but speciously for master Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to sir John Falstaff from my two mistresses: What a beast am I to slack' it.

SCENE V.-A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH. Fal. Bardolph, I say,—

Bar. Here, sir.

Fal. Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in't. [Exit BARD.] Have I lived to be carried in a basket, like a barrow of butcher's offal? and to be thrown into the Thames? Well; if I be served such another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out, and buttered, and give them to a dog for a new year's gift. The rogues slighted me into the river with as little remorse as they would have drowned a bitch's blind puppies, fifteen i' the litter: and you may know by my size, that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had been drowned, but that the shore was shelvy and shallow: a death that I abhor; for the water swells a man; and what a thing should I have been, when I had been swelled! I should have been a mountain of mummy. Re-enter BARDOLPH, with the wine.

Bar. Here's mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with you.

Fent. Good mistress Page, for that I love your

daughter

In such a righteous fashion as I do,

Bar. Come in, woman.

Enter Mrs. QUICKLY.

I must advance the colors of my love,

And not retire: Let me have your good will. Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yond' fool.

Mrs. Page. I mean it not; I seek you a better husband.

Quick. That's my master, master doctor. Anne. Alas, I had rather be set quick i' the earth, And bowl'd to death with turnips.

Mrs. Page. Come, trouble not yourself: Good
master Fenton,

I will not be your friend, nor enemy:
My daughter will I question how she loves you,
And as I find her, so am I affected;
"Till then, farewell, sir:-She must needs go in;
Her father will be angry.

[Exeunt Mrs. PAGE and ANNE. Fent. Farewell, gentle mistress; farewell, Nan. Quick. This is my doing now;-Nay, said I, will you cast away your child on a fool, and a physician? Look on master Fenton :-this is my doing.

Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to night

Give my sweet Nan this ring: There's for thy pains.

3 Lot.

[Exit.

Fal. Take away these chalices. Go brew me a pottle of sack finely.

Bar. With eggs, sir?

Fal. Simple of itself; I'll no pullet-sperm in my brewage. [Exit BARDOLPH.]-How now? Quick. Marry, sir, I come to your worship from mistress Ford.

Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough: I was thrown into the ford: I have my belly full of ford.

Quick. Alas the day; good heart, that was not her fault; she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection.

Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's promise.

Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a birding; she desires you once more to come to her between eight and nine: I must carry her word quickly; she'll make you amends, I warrant you.

Fal. Well, I will visit her: Tell her so; and bid her think, what a man is: let her consider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.

Quick. I will tell her.