are full of these quack Gospel advertisements. Now what must be the state of a minister's heart who craves such notoriety? and what must be the result to himself and his hearers of gratifying it? THE HOOP QUESTION. A gentleman lately conversing with a lady friend, claimed that he could parodize on the hoop question any verse she might choose to repeat. She accordingly rehearsed the following verse from "The Old Sexton :" Nigh to a grave that was newly made Lean'd a sexton old on his earth-worn spade: And his locks were as white as the foamy sea; Whereupon the graceless scamp took his pencil, and thus wrote on a scrap of newspaper lying by: Nigh to a church that was newly made, "Too bad, too bad; I here must wait While they measure the breadth of this open gate; Too narrow, too narrow, alas! for me;" And she sighed from her quivering lips so thin, "I cannot get in; I cannot get in!" On the marriage of Reuben Wise to Matilda Cheevis : At length she seized the proffer'd prize, A Boston paper tells the following anecdote, in which the editor states a college "chum" of his was the principal actor: H., a member of one of the classes, was distinguished not less for dry wit and sly waggery than for his address in evading the writing of themes, and in palming off the brain-coined currency of others as his legitimate "tender." One Monday morning he read a theme of unusual merit; but Professor A. "smelt a rat," and as H. finished and sat down in the pride of conscious innocence, asked, "Is that original, H. ?" "Yes, sir." "Are you sure of it?" queried the professor, doubtingly. "Why, yes, sir," replied H., with imperturbable gravity, and that paste-board countenance he always wore, "it had original over it in the paper I took it from !"" The following is a literal copy of the list of questions proposed for discussion in a debating club out West: HOOD'S VERSION OF SPRING. "Ham. The air bites shrewdly-it is very cold. "Come, gentle Spring! ethereal millness, come!" The Spring! I shrink and shudder at her name! For why, I find her breath a bitter blighter! And suffer from her blows, as if they came From Spring, the fighter. Her praises, then, let hardy poets sing. And be her tuneful laureates and upholders, Who do not feel as if they had a Spring Pour'd down their shoulders! Let others eulogize her floral shows; Her cowslips, stocks, and lilies of the vale, Her honey-blossoms that you hear the bees at, Fair is the vernal quarter of the year! And fair its early buddings and its blowings- For me, I find, when eastern winds are high, Smitten by breezes from the land of plague, I limp in agony-I wheeze and cough; What wonder if in May itself I lack A peg for landatory verse to hang on?Spring, mild and gentle!-yes, a Spring-heel'd Jack To those he sprang on. In short, whatever panegyrics lie In fulsome odes, too many to be cited, The tenderness of Spring is all my eye, And that is blighted! WHAT WAS I SENT FOR?-An Emerald-islander made his appearance the other day at a general hardware establishment. He was evidently in a state of utter mystification. Turning to the counter, and scratching his head with an air of the utmost perplexity, he thus addressed the shopman: "Why, thin, would your honor be plased to tell me what it is I was sint for?" "That would be hard for me, my man. How on earth should I know what you were sent for?" "Ah, thin, wouldn't your honor try and make out for me, for the misthress'll be mad if I face home without it." 66 What is it like ?" "Why, thin, on the top of it, 'tis for all the world like the face of a body after the smallpox." "And what do you do with it?" 66 Why, the women puts it on their finger when they're working." "O! a thimble, I suppose?" "Yis, to be sure, that's jest what it is a thimble. See, now, how I couldn't think of its name!" And so, having been supplied with the required article, he departed in triumph. On another occasion the shop of a druggist and grocer was entered by a man in eager haste, exclaiming: "Give me a pinnorth of bagpipes, as quick as you can!" "I don't know at all what you want," replied the somewhat matter-of-fact shopman. "We don't sell bagpipes; and at all events, I can't tell what you mean by a pennyworth of a musical instrument." "Ah, God bless you, an' give me the bagpipes, an' there's the pinny-an' don't be keeping me this way, or else I'll be late for the Macroom car." What on earth do you want?" cried the thoroughly perplexed shopman. "What is it for ?" "Wisha, don't be delaying me this way, axing me what 'tis for; but give it to me out of hand, or the masther 'll be keeping the whole house awake to-night with the cough that he gets no ase from, only when he's sucking them same bagpipes." "O" chimed in a bright-looking boy, the junior assistant, "I know what he wants-this Bath pipe, is it not, my good fellow ?" And so saying, he produced some sticks of a brown medicinal candy, well known in our locality as an excellent remedy for coughs. "Ah, yes, that's the very thing! Sure I told you all along 'twas bagpipes I wanted!" Beau Brummel was once sitting at a table with one Bligh, who was known to be insane. The Beau, having lost a considerable stake, affected, in his farcical way, a very tragic air, and cried out: "Waiter, bring me a flat candlestick and a pistol." Upon which, Bligh, who was sitting opposite to him, calmly produced two loaded pistols from his coat pocket, which he placed on the table, and said: "Mr. Brummel, if you are really desirous to put a period to your existence, I am extremely happy to offer you the means, without troubling the waiter." The effect upon those present may be easily imagined, at finding themselves in the company of a known madman, who had loaded weapons about him. Recent Publications. Memories of Gennesaret. By the REV. JOHN R. MACDUFF. (Carter & Brothers.) Mr. Macduff is the author of several evangelical volumes which have been published anonymously. Among them we may mention " Altar Stones," "Words of Jesus," "Footsteps of Saint Paul," and "Memories of Bethany," already favorably noticed in our pages. His name is now, with the volume before us, first given to the public. His aim has been, in pointed and practical style, to group together the varied scenes which give an undying interest to the shores of Tiberias, and he has succeeded in making an attractive and instructive volume. We copy a portion of the chapter entitled "The Sinking Disciple:" Judging from his peculiar temperament, perhaps when the mysterious phantom form was first seen on the waters, Peter may have been the most cravenhearted of all. While the calin John, or the cool, cantious Thomas, may have looked their danger sternly in the face, he may have seen, in the shadowy figure, nothing but the spirit of the tempest, or the wings of the angel of death, and fled, cowering in terror, to the hold of the vessel. But no sooner does he listen to the comforting, "It is I," than shame and sorrow overwhelm him that he had been so "slow of heart," and in the very rebound from faithlessnees to newly awakened joy he resolves by an heroic act to atone for these moments of unworthy pusillanimity. "Lord!" says he, "if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water." Even yet, however, his voice trembles as he speaks. Neither his faith nor his motives will bear rigid scrutiny. The very word with which he begins his bold and presumptuous request implies a secret doubt, "if it be thou." covenant love, and to exclaim, with one who had alike nature, Providence, and grace in his eye when he penned his words: "The voice of the Lord is upon the waters. The God of glory thundereth. The Lord is upon many waters. The voice of the Lord is powerful. The voice of the Lord is full of majesty.. The Lord sitteth upon the flood, yea the Lord sitteth king for ever. The Lord will give strength unto his people. The Lord will bless his people with peace." But to return to the narrative: While there was doubt and misgiving on the part of Peter, in illustration of that strange union of opposites to which I have referred, there was in conjunction with these, boldness and presumption. His own thought, doubtless, was to make an avowal of his faith; but what he did display was not faith, but a base counterfeit. It was a degenerate semblance and figure of the true. Rightly named, it was forwardness, fool-hardihood, the haughty spirit which is inevitably succeeded by a fall. Let us always be careful to give things their proper designation. Let us be specially on our guard against looking at vice and virtue through a distorted mediun, giving the name of gold to what may, after all, be base alloy; confounding great heavenly principles with hollow semblances; calling evil good and good evil; putting darkness for light and light for darkness. How often do we hear revenge inisnamed honor; passion, spirit; prodigality, generosity; free-thinking, liberality; blasphemy, wit, and presumption, faith. In the case before us we may be apt, at first sight, to confuse and confound two feelings and emotions, in themselves widely different Peter in appearance is very magnanimous, nor do we deny (his Lord himself owns it) that there was in his bold deed a certain amount of faith and confidence in Christ's ability and power. So far his conduct was commendable; but there was more of the reverse, more of pride, ambition, rashness. His faith in his Divine Master would have been tempered with a wiser discretion, and a kindlier regard for the feelings of others, had he simply joined with his fellow-apostles in inviting Jesus into their ship. But he lorded it over them. There was an implied assumption of superiority in the personal request, "Bid me." We could not even have quarreled with his conditional "if" had he put it in the form, "If it be thy will, Lord." But with a rashness similar to that which drew down an after rebuke, when unbidden he cut off the ear of Malchus, he utters, on his own authority, and more in the tone of a mandate than a proposal, "Bid me come." There is a struggle for preeminence, a craving to win the highest encomium from his Master, He would wish to make himself out the boldest and bravest of the apostle crew. It is the saying and the failing of a future occasion put in another form and other words, "Though all be offend ed, yet shall not I." Ah! how often does that guilty word mingle still in our deep midnights of trial; questioning God's voice, God's way, God's will, God's loving wisdom. How apt are we to indulge in unkind, unrighteous surmises; saying, like Martha of Bethany (the "Peter of her sex.") when the Master came to her in the midst of a still darker tempest, "Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died?" Let us "be still and know that he is God." There is no room for an "if" or a "why" in all his providential dealings. Shall we own the voice of God, as we stand in the outer world in the loaded air of summer noontide, when from the heavy clouds there issues bolt af er bolt of living thunder? and in the moral world shall we refuse to acknowledge and adore the same? Nay; when out, Doubtless had an injunction to leave the vessel embuffeting the sea of trial, "neither sun nor star ap- anated from the lips of Christ it would have been alike pearing, and a very great tempest lying upon us;" his duty and his joy to obey; there would then have while others may only hear the rougher accents of the been no sinking, no faltering. If the Lord had “given storm, be it ours to recognize the soft undertones of the word" he would have made Peter's "feet like hinds' feet," and set him upon these "high places." But this frail worm himself takes the initiative. He makes his own will and wish antecedent to the will of his Lord, and he must pay the penalty of his presumptuous daring. Peter makes his request. A single word is all he gets in reply. The same voice which, a few moments before, gently quieted by a threefold assurance the fears of all the affrighted crew, says, in answer He does to the bold outspoken one, "Come!" not refuse, but neither does he give any warrant or Peter had said "Bid promise of upholding power. me;" Christ does not say, "I bid." Peter had said Jesus speaks of no footway there. on the water." Peter had said "unto thee," Jesus gives no such invitation. He atters only the one indefinite word, "Come!" "Come," he seems to say, "bold one, make trial of thy strength; come if thou canst; but it is on thine own risk and responsibility: I give no pledge or warrant of success to thy carnal presumption." He does come! He descends the side of the lurching vessel; the next moment his feet are on the unHis faith is for the moment strong, and stable waves. fixing his countenance on his great Redeemer, he travels in safety along that strangest of pathways. But a wandering eye is the first symptom of a mournful reverse. He turns his face from Christ; he transfers his glance to the rolling waves at his feet, and the storm "When he saw the wind boistersighing overhead. ous he was afraid." It was no new tempest that had sprung up; the sea was not opening its mouth wider than before; the sky was no blacker; the hurricane no louder; the waves were beating as high when he first sallied forth. But, with his eye and his heart on the Lord of the storm, he had no room then for a thought of danger. Now it was different. Gazing on the tempestuous elements he trembled at his own courage. He took his eye off the secret of his support, and down he sank like lead in that raging sea. Ah! Peter is here a living impersonation of unhelief, which is nothing else but a diversion of the soul's eye from God-a looking to the creature, to the world, to sight, to self, to sense, and ignoring the great Creator, the blessed Redeemer, and the things unseen! The disciple, while he retained his faith, saw no waves and heard no winds. The disciple, faithless, with his eye turned from his Lord, was awoke to the reality of the maddening elements around him; and then the Lord left him to taste the fruits of his rash overboldness. Like Samson, he is shorn of his strength. Like that champion of Israel he says, "I will go out as at other times and shake myself." But unbelief has caused his "strength to go from him, so that he has become weak as another man." -- Debt and Grace as related to the Doctrine of a Future Life is the title of a duodecimo volume of four hundred and seventy-two pages, by C. F. HUDSON. Its main object appears to be to prove that by "the second death" is meant the annibilation of the soul, and that endless existence in a future state is the purchased gift of Christ for believers only. The author is evidently honest in his belief, and his book evinces a great deal of careful research. It abounds in quotations from the early fathers of the Church and from the writings of modern divines. Those who wish to believe in the annihilation theory will here find all the most plausible arguments in its favor. - If When the novelist writes merely to amuse, skillfully told, full of exciting and fearful inci- 46 white cations of falsehood and deception, lies," the parties reach the height of the novel writer's bliss, and are made happy in matrimony, the author summing up his theological and moral teaching by assuring us that "they had heroic virtues to balance white lies in the great Judge's eyes!" The first volume of A History of the Republic of the United States of America, as traced in the Writings of Alexander Hamilton and his CotempoFour more raries has made its appearance. volumes are to follow, this only bringing down the life of Hamilton to the age of twenty-two. A great deal may be pardoned in a son seeking to exalt the memory of his father, but Mr. John C. Hamilton carries the matter a little too far when, for that object, he deems it necessary to undervalue and disparage the character and ability of Washington. A brother of the author, Mr. James A. Hamilton, in writing to an intimate friend-the Albany Evening Journal is our authority-says that "he is very much grieved by that part of his brother's book, in which he attributes all or most of Washington's letters to his father; and requests that friend to take every proper occasion to say that he disapproves of the not well-founded assumption." Such, we doubt not, will be the verdict and the sensation of all candid readers who, while they give due credit to the author for his diligence and painstaking, will be, if not "much grieved," somewhat disposed to laugh at his unwarranted assumptions. One of the most interesting reports ever made to the general government is that of Lieutenant BEALE, who has recently made a reconnoissance of a new route to the Pacific. The party started from San Antonia, Texas, in the latter part of June, followed the regular Santa Fé route, and reached the Rio Grande on the 10th of August. From this point commenced their explorations of a new route, which is minutely described, and of which an accurate map is in course of preparation. The party reached the Colorado Thence Chiquito on the 4th of September. they traveled an unexplored region, rocky and sterile, passed the great desert in its narrowest portion, and crossed the San Barnardine, following the Mormon road to Los Angelos on the Pacific. Our limited space will not permit us to enter into the details of this journey, of which the commanding officer says: It is the shortest route from our western frontier by three hundred miles, being nearly directly west. It is the most level; our wagons only double-teaming once in the entire distance, and that a short hill, and over a surface heretofore unbroken by wheels or trail of any kind. It is well watered; our greatest dis tance without water at any time being twenty miles. It is well timbered, and in many places the growth is far beyond that of any part of the world I have ever seen. It is temperate in climate, passing for the most part over an elevated region. It is salubrious, not one of our party requiring the slightest medical attendance from the time of our leaving to our arrival. It is well grassed; my command never having made a bad grass camp during the entire distance, until near the Colorado. It crosses the great desert (which must be crossed by any road to California) at its narrowest point. It passes through a country abounding in game, and but little infested with Indians. Another interesting feature of this exploration, and not the least important, is the fact that it was accompanied by twenty-five camels and two dromedaries, of those brought from Asia, as described in THE NATIONAL for December. The question of the vast importance of these animals in crossing our American deserts may be considered as settled. The lieutenant says: I may speak for every man in our party, when I say there is not one of them who would not prefer the most indifferent of our camels to four of our best mules. In all our lateral explorations they have carried water, sometimes for more than a week, for the mules used by the men, themselves never receiving even a bucketful to one of them; they have traversed patiently with heavy packs, on these explorations, countries covered with the sharpest volcanic rock, and yet their feet to this hour have evinced no symptom of tenderness or injury. With heavy packs they have crossed mountains, ascended and descended precipitous places, where an unladen mule found it difficult to pass. And again: The camels performed this journey-in which there was a considerable space to be passed devoid of water or grass-without, in a single instance, exhibiting any sign of fatigue or distress, nor showing any signs of thirst. They kept pace easily with the teams, at an average rate of four miles an hour, though, when required, this rate could have been doubled without their suffering the least inconvenience.. - The Hasheesh Eater: being Passages from the Life of a Pythagorean. Carelessly written, "thrown off," the writer says, currente calamo," not likely to find many readers, and, therefore, not likely to profit the publishers; and, when read, not likely to profit the reader, we marvel what could have induced the Messrs. Harper to lend their imprint to a book like this. Hasheesh is the resin of Indian hemp, (Cannabis Indica.) Its effects, when taken internally, are somewhat similar to those produced by the use of opium. The writer professes to have indulged in it for a long time, and in this volume to record his sensations and feelings when under its influence. He assures us that his narrative "is one of unexaggerated fact." Very likely; and if a person intoxicated by any other means, French brandy for instance, should see strange sights and hear unearthly noises, and, pushing his "investigations," should bring on a fit of delirium tremens, no one would question the "fact" that he saw and heard snakes, goblins, demons, hissing, yelling, and howling in his ears. The only wonder would be that, when sober, the hallucination should be still strong enough to induce him to make his chimeras public. Under the simple title of A Christian Memorial of Two Sisters, we have, from the press of Stanford & Delisser, a beautifully-printed little volume, touchingly commemorative of two of the most estimable ladies of our city. They were the daughters of the late Governor Jay, the first Chief Justice of the United States. Possessed, each, of an ample fortune, their efforts to do good were literally unceasing. The elder is known to have given away in charity, in a period of little more than nine years, the sum of seventy-one thousand three hundred and ninety-seven dollars; and the donations of the other averaged from six to eight thousand dollars a year. The one died on the 13th of No-. vember last, and eight days afterward her sister followed. This memorial is put forth, not for the purpose of eulogizing them, but with the hope that others may be led to follow their example. Biography of Elisha Kent Kane. By WILLIAM ELDER. This long-expected volume has at length made its appearance from the press of Childs & Peterson, Philadelphia. As a specimen of book-making, it is hardly equal to the promises held out in advanee by the publishers. With the limited materials at his command the author has succeeded in making an interesting sketch of the earlier portions of the life of the intrepid explorer. The latter part, upon which his fame will continue to rest, is written in the navigator's own inimitable journals. In our last number we noticed, briefly, Mr. Parton's Life of Aaron Burr, of which a third edition has already been called for. It is indeed an attractive biography, and bating the one fault, a glaring one, to which we adverted, is highly creditable to the author's industry in the collection of materials, and his skill in the narration of facts. We copy a little episode in the strangely eventful life of Burr-his courtship and marriage-when nearly eighty years of age. It will be read with interest, not less for the graphic style of the narrator, than as another illustration of the adage, Truth is stranger than fiction: There was a talk of cholera in the city. Madame Jumel resolved upon taking a carriage tour in the country. Before setting out she wished to take legal advice respecting some real estate, and as Colonel Burr's reputation in that department was pre-eminent, to his office in Reade-street she drove. In other days he had known her well, and though many an eventful year had passed since he had seen her, he recog nized her at once. He received her in his courtliest manner, complimented her with admirable tact, listened with soft deference to her statement. He was the ideal man of business-confidential, self-possessed, polite-giving his client the flattering impression that the faculties of his whole soul were concentrated upon the affair in hand. She was charmed, yet feared him. He took the papers, named the day when his opinion would be ready, and handed her to her carriage with winning grace. At seventy-eight years of age he was still straight, active, agile, fascinating. On the appointed day she sent to his office a relative, a student of law, to receive his opinion. This young gentleman, timid and inexperienced, had an immense opinion of Burr's talents; had heard all good and all evil of him; supposed him to be, at least, the acutest of horrible men. He went. Burr behaved to him in a manner so exquisitely pleasing, that, to this hour, he has the liveliest recollection of the scene. No topics were introduced but such as were familiar and interesting to young men. His manners were such as this age of slangy familiarity cannot so much as imag ine. The young gentleman went home to Madame Jumel only to extol and glorify him. Madame and her party began their journey, revisiting Ballston, whither, in former times, she had been wont to go in a chariot drawn by eight horses; visiting Saratoga, then in the beginning of its celebrity, where, in exactly ten minutes after her arrival, the decisive lady bought a house and all it contained. Returning to New York to find that her mansion had been despoiled by robbers in her absence, she lived for a while in the city. Colonel Burr called upon the young gentleman who 284 had been Madame's messenger, and after their acquaint- Some months passed on without his again meeting At the time appointHe was as good as his word. ed, he drove out in his gig to the lady's residence, accompanied by Dr. Bogart, the very clergyman who, just fifty years before, married him to the inother of his Theodosia. The lady was embarrassed and still refused. But then the scandal! And, after all, why not? Her estate needed a vigilant guardian, and the old house was lonely. After much hesitation, she at length consented to be dressed, and to receive her visitors. And she was married. The ceremony was witnessed only by the members of Madame Jumel's family, and by the eight servants of the household, who peered eagerly in at the doors and windows. The ceremony was over: Mrs. Burr ordered supper. Some bins of M. Jumel's wine cellar, that had not been opened for The half a century, were laid under contribution. little party was a very merry one. The parson in particular, it is remembered, was in the highest spirits, overflowing with humor and anecdote. Except for Colonel Burr's great age, (which was not apparent,) the match seemed not an unwise one. The lurking fear he had of being a poor and homeless old man was put to rest. She had a companion who had ever been agreeable, and on her estate a steward, than whom no one living was supposed to be more competent. As a remarkable circumstance connected with this marriage, it may be just mentioned that there was a woman in New York who had aspired to the hand of Colonel Burr, and who, when she heard of his union with another, wrung her hands and shed tears! A feeling of that nature can seldom, since the creation of man, have been excited by the marriage of a man on the verge of fourscore. * * A few days after the wedding, the "happy pair" of Colonel Burr's was then governor. They were re- The purchasers offered to pay her the money, but she Texas was then beginning to attract the tide of emi- The Germans became discouraged and separated, and, Coolness between the husband and wife was the result of this colloquy. Then came remonstrances. Then estrangement. Burr got into the habit of remaining at his office in the city. Then, partial reconciliation. Full of schemes and speculations to the last, without retaining any of his former ability to operate successfully, he lost inore money, and more, and more. The patience of the lady was exhausted. She filed a complaint accusing him of infidelity, and praying that he might have no more control or authority over her affairs. The accusation is now known to have been groundless; nor, indeed, at the time was it seriously believed. It was used merely as the most convenient legal mode of depriving him of control over her property. At first he answered the complaint vigorously, but afterward he allowed it to go by default, and proceedings were carried no further. A few short weeks of happiness, followed by a few months of alternate estrangement and reconciliation, and this union, that begun not inauspiciously, was, in effect, though never in law, dissolved. What is strangest of all is that the lady, though she never saw her husband during the last two years of his life, cherished no ill-will toward him, and shed tears at his death. To this hour, Madame Jumel thinks and speaks of him with kindness, attributing what was wrong or unwise in his conduct to the infirmities of age. English Hearts and English Hands; or, The who do the hard work, with shovel and wheelbar- An Introduction to the Study of Philosophy, with The Treat |