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letter, and placing it at the front of to fhew the author I wish him my companion my Paper, with as much earneftnefs as he invites me to be

his.

'SIR,

I

SEND you the inclosed, to be inferted (if you think them worthy of it) in your SPECTATORS; in which fo furprising a genius appears, that it is no wonder if all mankind endeavours to get fomewhat into a Paper which ⚫ will always live.

'As to the Cambridge affair, the humour was really carried on in the way I defcribe it. However, you have a full commiffion to put out or in, and to do whatever you think fit with it. I have already had the fatisfaction of feeing you take that liberty with fome things I have before fent you. Go on, Sir, and profper. You ' have the best wishes of, Sir,

"Your very affectionate,

And obliged humble fervant*.'

Probably this was a communication from Mr. Eufden, of Trinity College in Cambridge. See SPECT. Vol. VII. N°555. Perhaps the account of the LowNGERS in the first letter received from Cambridge, SPECT. N° 54, was a contribution from the fame writer, and one of the things with which STEELE took the liberty here mentioned. See GUARD. 8vo. N° 164, &c.

*May 31, Drury Lane, "The Fair Quaker of Deal.” The F. Quaker, Mrs. Santlow; Com. Filp, Mr. Leigh; Beau Mizen, Mr. Pack; Coxen Whistlebooby, Mr. Norris ; T. Cagg, Mr. Johnfon; D. Hammock, Mr. Penkethman; J. Locker, Mr. Bullock; B. Whipstaff, Mr. Bowen; W. Swab, Mr. Burkhead; J. Bucket, Mr. Bullock; Arabella, Mrs. Bradfhaw; Capt. Worthy, Mr. Booth; and Rovewell, by Mr. Powell. SPECT. in folio.

• Mr.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

Cambridge, YOU well know it is of great confequence

YOU

to clear titles, and it is of importance that it be done in the proper feafon; on which account, this is to affure you, that the CLUB OF UGLY FACES was inftituted originally at 'CAMBRIDGE, in the merry reign of King Charles II. As in great bodies of men it is not difficult to find members enough for fuch 'a Club, fo (I remember) it was then feared, upon their intention of dining together, that the hall belonging to CLARE-HALL, (the uglieft then in the town, though now the neateft) would not be large enough HAND'SOMELY to hold the company. Invitations were made to great numbers, but very few accepted them without much difficulty. ONE pleaded, that being at London, in a bookseller's fhop, a lady going by with a great belly long'ed to kiss him. He had certainly been excuf'ed, but that evidence appeared, That indeed one in London did pretend she longed to kiss him, but that it was only a pickpocket, who during his kiffing her ftole all his money. ANOTHER Would have got off by a dimple in ' his chin; but it was proved upon him, that he had, by coming into a room, made a woman mifcarry, and frightened two children into fits. A THIRD alledged, That he was taken by a lady for another gentleman, who was one ⚫ of the handsomest in the University: but upon enquiry it was found that the lady had actually loft one eye, and the other was and the other was very much up

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away

'on

* on the decline. A FOURTH produced letters ' out of the country in his vindication, in which a gentleman offered him his daughter, who ⚫ had lately fallen in love with him, with a good fortune but it was made appear, that the young lady was amorous, and had like to have run away with her father's coachman, fo that it was fuppofed, that her pretence of falling in 'love with him, was only in order to be well 'married. It was pleasant to hear the feveral • excufes which were made, infomuch that fome 'made as much intereft to be excufed, as they 'would from ferving fheriff; however, at last the fociety was formed, and proper officers were appointed; and the day was fixed for the ⚫ entertainment, which was in venifon feafon. A pleafant Fellow of King's College (commonly called CRAB, from his four look, and the only man who did not pretend to get off) was no'minated for chaplain; and nothing was wanting but fome one to fit in the elbow-chair, by way of PRESIDENT, at the upper end of the table; and there the bufinefs ftuck, for there 'was no contention for fuperiority there. This 'affair made fo great a noife, that the king, who was then at Newmarket, heard of it, and

was pleased merrily and graciously to say, HE

COULD NOT BE THERE HIMSELF, BUT HE WOULD SEND THEM A BRACE OF BUCKS.

I would defire you Sir, to fet this affair in a true light, that pofterity may not be misled in fo important a point: for when the wife man who fhall write your true history fhall acquaint

'the

the world, That you had a DIPLOMA fent from the Ugly Club at OXFORD, and that by 'virtue of it you were admitted into it, what a learned war will there be among future critics about the original of that Club, which both ⚫ Universities will contend fo warmly for? And perhaps fome hardy Cantabrigian author may then boldly affirm, that the word OXFORD was an interpolation of fome Oxonian instead of CAMBRIDGE. This affair will be best ad'justed in your life-time; but I hope your affection to your MOTHER will not make you partial to your AUNT.

To tell you Sir, my own opinion: Though 'I cannot find any ancient records of any acts of the SOCIETY OF THE UGLY FACES, confidered in a public capacity; yet, in a private one, they have certainly antiquity on their fide. I am perfuaded they will hardly give place to the LowNGERS, and the LoWNGERS are of the fame standing with the University itself.

Though we well know, Sir, you want no motives to do justice, yet I am commiffioned 'to tell you, that you are invited to be admitted ad eundem at CAMBRIDGE; and I believe I may venture fafely to deliver this as the wish of our whole University.'

*.* An Entertainment of Mufic, confifting of a Poem, The Paffion of Sappho by Mr. Harrifon; and The Feaft of Alexander by Mr. Dryden; as fet to Mufic by Mr. T. Clayton, author of Arfinoe. N. B. Any Mafter or Composer may have any piece of Mufic performed by Mr. Clayton's performers, at his houfe in York Buildings, and be rewarded as the authors of plays have benefit nights at the playhoufe. SPECT. in folio. ·

• To

To Mr. SPECTATOR.

• The humble Petition of WHO and WHICH.

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• Sheweth,

THAT your Petitioners being in a for

lorn and deftitute condition, know not to whom we should apply ourselves for relief, because there is hardly any man alive who hath not injured us. Nay, we fpeak it with forrow, even you yourself, whom we should fufpect of 'fuch a practice the laft of all mankind, can hardly acquit yourself of having given us fome caufe of complaint. We are defcended of ancient families, and kept up our dignity and honour many years, till the jack-fprat THAT fupplanted us. How often have we found ourfelves flighted by the clergy in their pulpits, and the lawyers at the bar? Nay, how often ' have we heard, in one of the most polite and august affemblies in the universe, to our great mortification, these words, That THAT that noble Lord urged; which if one of us had had juftice done, would have founded nobler thus, That WHICH that noble Lord urged. Senates themselves, the guardians of British liberty, have degraded us, and preferred THAT to us; ' and yet no decree was ever given against us. In the very acts of parliament, in which the ut'moft right should be done to every body, 'WORD, and thing, we find ourselves often ' either not used, or used one instead of another. In the first and best prayer children are taught, they learn to life us: Our Father WHICH §

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