that it is all one to him whether he exposes by it vice and folly, luxury and avarice; or, on the contrary, virtue and wisdom, pain and poverty.

Thirdly, He is wonderfully unlucky, infomuch that he will bite the hand that feeds him, and endeavour to ridicule both friends and foes indifferently. For having but fmall talents, he must be merry where he can, not where he should.

Fourthly, Being entirely void of reafon, he pursues no point either of morality or inftruction, but is ludicrous only for the fake of being fo.

Fifthly, Being incapable of having any thing but mock representations, his ridicule is always perfonal, and aimed at the vicious man, or the writer; not at the vice, or at the writing.

I have here only pointed at the whole fpecies of Falfe Humourifts; but as one of my principal defigns in this Paper is to beat down that malignant fpirit, which difcovers itself in the writings of the prefent age, I fhall not fcruple, for the future, to fingle out any of the small wits, that infeft the world with fuch compofitions as are ill-natured, immoral, and abfurd. This is the only exception which I shall make to the general rule I have prefcribed myself, of attacking multitudes, fince every honeft man ought to look upon himself as in a natural state of war with the libeller and lampooner, and to annoy them wherever they fall in his way. This is but retaliating upon them, and treating them as they treat others. C*.

*By ADDISON, dated it feems from Chelfca. to N° 7, on ADDISON's Signatures C, L, I, O;

See final Note and No 221.

I

N° 36. Wednesday, April 11, 1711.

Immania monftra

Perferimus

VIRG. Æn. iii. 583.

Things the moft out of nature we endure.

SHALL not put myself to any farther pains for this day's entertainment, than barely to publish the letters and titles of petitions from the Playhouse, with the minutes I have made upon the latter for my conduct in relation to them.

UPO

Drury-Lane, April the 9th.

PON reading the project which is set forth in one of your late Papers*, of making an alliance between all the bulls, bears, elephants, and lions, which are fepa'rately expofed to public view in the cities of 'London and Westminster; together with the ' other wonders, fhows, and monfters, whereof you made respective mention in the faid Spe'culation; we, the chief Actors of this Play'house, met and fat upon the faid defign. It is 'with great delight that we expect the execu'tion of this work; and in order to contribute to it, we have given warning to all our ghosts 'to get their livelihoods where they can, and 'not to appear among us after day-break of the 16th inftant. We are refolved to take this opportunity to part with every thing which 'does not contribute to the reprefentation of huSee SPECT. No 31.

'man

man life; and fhall make a free gift of all ⚫ animated utenfils to your Projector. The hangings you formerly mentioned are run away; as are likewife a fet of chairs, each of which was met upon two legs going through the Rofe-Tavern at two this morning. We hope, Sir, you will give proper notice to the town ⚫ that we are endeavouring at these regulations; and that we intend for the future to fhow no monsters, but men who are converted into fuch by their own industry and affectation. If you will please to be at the Houfe to-night, you ⚫ will see me do my endeavour to fhew some unnatural appearances which are in vogue among the polite and well-bred. I am to prefent, in the character of a fine lady dancing, all the ' distortions which are frequently taken for graces in mien and gefture. This Sir, is a fpecimen of the method we fhall take to expose the monsters which come within the notice ' of a regular Theatre; and we defire nothing more grofs may be admitted by you SPECTATORS for the future. We have cashiered three companies of theatrical guards, and defign our kings fhall for the future make love, and fit in council, without an army; and wait only your direction, whether you will have them reinforce king Porus, or join the troops ' of Macedon. Mr. Penkethman refolves to con⚫ fult his Pantheon of heathen gods in oppofition to the oracle of Delphos, and doubts not but he fhall turn the fortune of Porus, when he 'perfonates him. I am defired by the company

'to

'to inform you, that they fubmit to your cenfures; and fhall have you in greater veneration than Hercules was of old, if you can drive 'monsters from the Theatre; and think your ' merit will be as much greater than his, as to 'convince is more than to conquer.

I am, SIR,

Your most obedient fervant,

'T. D.'

'SIR,

WHE

HENI acquaint you with the great and unexpected viciffitudes of my fortune, I doubt not but I shall obtain your pity ⚫ and favour. I have for many years past been • Thunderer to the Play-house; and have not only made as much noise out of the clouds as any predeceffor of mine in the Theatre that ever bore that character, but alfo have defcended and spoke on the ftage as the bold • Thunderer in “"The Rehearsal." When they got me down thus low, they thought fit to degrade me further, and make me a ghost. I was contented with this for thefe two laft winters; but they carry their tyranny ftill fur'ther, and not fatisfied that I am banished from above ground, they have given me to underftand that I am wholly to depart their dominions, and taken from me even my fubterraneous employment. Now, Sir, what I defire of you is, that if your undertaker thinks fit to ufe fire-arms, (as other authors have done) in the time of Alexander, I may be a cannon

against

against Porus, or elfe provide for me in the burning of Perfepolis, or what other method you fhall think fit.

'SALMONEUS of Covent-Garden.'

The petition of all the Devils of the Playhoufe in behalf of themselves and families, fetting forth their expulfion from thence, with certificates of their good life and conversation, and praying relief.

The merit of this petition referred to Mr. Chr、 RICH*, who made them Devils.

The petition of the grave-digger in Hamlet, to command the pioneers in the expedition of Alexander.

Granted.

The petition of William Bullock, to be Hepheftion to Penkethman the Great‡.

Granted.

*See TATLER, N° 42, N° 99, and Notes on Divito, under which name the patentee of the playhouse, Mr. Rich, is there mentioned. See alfo CIBBER'S "Apology, &c." paffim. + See TATLER, N° 7, N° 188; SPECTATOR, No Notes on BULLOCK.

44, and

See TATLER, N° 4, N°7, N° 20, N° 188; SPECTATOR, N° 31, N° 370; and Notes on PENKETHMAN. See alfo C. CIBBER'S "Apology for his own Life," vol. i. p. 112, feqq. et paffim. Edit. 12mo. 2 vols. 1756, where there is a full account of PENKETHMAN, of dramatic characters and affairs in the Author's own time, and much curious information in the hiftory of the stage, antecedent to his perfonal engagement and concern with it.