is said to be inhabited by the Pygmies. But this objection was looked upon as frivolous, and the proposal immediately over-ruled. Our projector further added, that after the reconciliation of these two kings, they might invite one another to dinner, and either of them entertain his gueft with the German Artist***, Mr. Pinkethman's heathen gods, or any of the like diverfions, which fhall then chance to be in vogue.

This project was received with very great applause by the whole table. Upon which the undertaker told us, that he had not yet communicated to us above half his defign; for that Alexander being a Greek, it was his intention that the whole Opera fhould be acted in that language, which was a tongue he was fure would wonderfully please the ladies, especially when it was a little raised and rounded by the Ionick dialect; and could not but be acceptable to the whole audience, because there are fewer of them who understand Greek than Italian.

** Lately arrived a rare and curious Artif, who in the prefence of all fpectators makes all forts and fashions of Indian China, and other curious figures of various colours as fmall as they pleafe. Alfo all forts of birds, fowls, images of men, &c. He oloweth all colours of glafs curiously, &c. He fheweth a glafs of water wherein 4 or 5 images rife or fall as he pleases; with feveral other rarities. A wheel turned by human power, which fpins 10,000 yards of glass in less than half an hour. He makes for fale, artificial eyes to admiration, curioufly coloured, and not to be difcerned from natural eyes, and teaches how they may fix them in their heads themselves, to the great fatisfaction of all who use them.Vivat Regina. No date. HARL. MSS. 5961; TAT. with Notes. Vol. vi. N° 252, ad fin. p. 298.

The only difficulty that remained, was how to get performers, unless we could perfuade fome gentlemen of the univerfities to learn to fing, in order to qualify themselves for the stage; but this objection foon vanished, when the projector informed us that the Greeks were at present the only musicians in the Turkish empire, and that it would be very eafy for our factory at Smyrna to furnish us every year with a colony of muficians, by the opportunity of the Turkey fleet; befides, fays he, if we want any fingle voice for any lower part in the Opera, Lawrence can learn to fpeak Greek, as well as he does Italian, in a fortnight's time.

The projector having thus fettled matters, to the good-liking of all that heard him, he left his feat at the table, and planted himself before the fire, where I had unluckily taken my stand for the convenience of overhearing what he said. Whether he had obferved me to be more attentive than ordinary, I cannot tell, but he had not flood by me above a quarter of a minute, but he turned fhort upon me on a fudden, and catching me by a button* of my coat, attacked me very abruptly after the following manner. fides, Sir, I have heard of a very extraordinary genius for mufic that lives in Switzerland, who has fo ftrong a fpring in his fingers, that he can make the board of an organ found like a drum, and if I could but procure a fubfcription of about ten thousand pound every winter, I would un

Be

*See GUARD. N° 84; and SPECT. N° 268. Notes on Mr. James HEYWOOD.

dertake

dertake to fetch him over, and oblige him by articles to fet every thing that should be fung upon the English ftage. After this he looked. full in my face, expecting I would make an anfwer, when, by good luck, a gentleman that had entered the coffee-houfe fince the projector applied himself to me, hearing him talk of his Swifs compofitions, cried out in a kind of laugh, Is our mufic then to receive further improvements from Switzerland! This alarmed the projector, who immediately let go my button, and turned about to answer him. I took the opportunity of the diverfion which feemed to be made in favour of me, and laying down my penny upon the bar, retired with fome precipitation.

N° 32. Friday, April 6, 1711.

Nil illi larva aut tragicis opus effe cothurnis.

C*.

HOR. I Sat. v. 64. He wants no tragic vizor to increase His natural deformity of face.

HE late difcourfe concerning the ftatutes

THE

of the Ugly Club, having been so well received at Oxford, that contrary to the strict rules of the fociety, they have been so partial as to take my own teftimonial, and admit me into that felect body; I could not restrain the vanity of publishing to the world the honour

*By ADDISON, dated it feems from Chelsea. See final Note to N°7, on the Signatures C, L, I, O; No 221, and Notes. N 3

which

which is done me. It is no small fatisfaction that I have given occafion for the president's fhewing both his invention and reading to fuch advantage as my correfpondent reports he did: but it is not to be doubted there were many very proper hums and pauses in his harangue, which lose their ugliness in the narration, and which my correfpondent (begging his pardon) has no very good talent at representing. very much approve of the contempt the fociety has of beauty. Nothing ought to be laudable in a man, in which his will is not concerned; therefore our fociety can follow nature, and where he has thought fit, as it were, to mock herself, we can do fo too, and be merry upon the occafion.

• Mr. SPECTATOR,

I

OUR making public the late trouble I

YOU

gave you, you will find to have been • the occafion of this. Who fhould I meet at the coffee-house door the other night, but my old friend Mr. Prefident? I faw fomewhat had pleafed him; and as foon as he had caft his eye upon me, "Oho, doctor, rare news "from London (fays he); the SPECTATOR has "made honourable mention of the Club (man) "and published to the world his fincere defire "to be a member, with a recommendatory de

fcription of his phiz: and though our con"stitution has made no particular provifion for "short faces, yet his being an extraordinary "cafe, I believe we fhall find an hole for him

σε

66

"to creep in at; for I affure you he is not "against the canon; and if his fides are as compact as his joles, he need not disguise him"felf to make one of us." I prefently called 'for the Paper*, to see how you looked in print; and after we had regaled ourselves a while upon the pleasant image of our profelyte, Mr. 'Prefident told me I fhould be his ftranger at 'the next night's Club: where we were no 'fooner come, and pipes brought, but Mr. Pre'fident began an harangue upon your intro'duction to my epiftle, fetting forth with no lefs ' volubility of fpeech, than ftrength of reason, That a Speculation of this nature was what "had been long and much wanted; and that "he doubted not but it would be of inestima"ble value to the public, in reconciling even "of bodies and fouls; in compofing and quieting the minds of men under all corporal redundancies, deficiencies, and irregularities "whatsoever; and making every one fit down. "content in his own carcafe, though it were "not perhaps fo mathematically put together as he could with." And again, "How that "for want of a due confideration of what you "first advance, viz. That our faces are not of "our own choofing, people had been tranfported beyond all good breeding, and hurried them"felves into unaccountable and fatal extravagancies: as, how many impartial lookingglaffes had been cenfured and calumniated, nay, and fometimes fhivered into ten thousand *SPECT. N° 1; Not a print ftrictly speaking, either engraven, or etched.

66

N 4

fplinters,