820

from the lips of the instructor, "and you will heap coals of fire on his head," and the reply of the sable descendant of the ancient Cushites, "Golly, Doctor, wouldn't like to have 'em try't on dis chile!"

THE appearance of Harper's Magazine at our house is an event of great importance with my children. The illustrations in it are the chief cause of this. When the February number came to hand the pictures illustrating "Simon Kenton" set them all half wild with excitement. They were particularly taken with the illustration of Kenton running at full speed with Boone on his back, and the InThe evening was dians in full chase after him. spent in reading the article and looking at the engravings. The next morning one of my little boys sprang out of bed at an early hour and hastened to get the Magazine, and turning to the page alluded to, with a smile of delight, exclaimed to the rest of his brothers and sisters, "The Indians didn't catch Kenton yet!"

true:

ways courageous, was the first to open her door,
when, to her astonishment, she beheld our stranger
gant deshabille. In answer to her inquiries she was
guest rushing up and down the hall in the most ele-
pointed to the closet door, where she was informed
the thieves were concealed, and where they had
been firing off their pistols. It proved to be some
half dozen bottles of beer which had exploded, and
so terrified the occupant of the chamber.

JUDGE LOVE, the humorous editor of the Wire Grass Reporter, attempted to investigate the cause, nature, and effect of the cattle disease, which was making fearful ravages among the deer and cows. He relates his experience as follows:

A faithful old servant gave information that a fine cow belonging to us was affected, and gave it as his opinion that it was murrain, and not the black He asked us to go down and examine the We tongue, although her mouth seemed to be a little beast, which we accordingly proceeded to do. sore. went into the pen, and passed along by the side of the cow, giving a casual scrutiny as we passed, inJust as we got before her she threw up tending to make a stand in front of her for a few moments. her head, looked wildly at us for a few seconds, and We 'bout-faced instantly, and marchthen, with a snort, a lowered head, and elevated tail, made at us.

of laughter. Straightening himself up and gathering breath, he exclaimed:

46

A WAG in the West says the following Worthy C is one of the best representatives of Young America that can be found in the fast city of Chicago. Standing on the steps of the Tremont a few evenings ago chatting with half a dozen of the "boys," their attention was attracted toward two young and evidently respectable ladies enjoy-ed through the pen at the rate of about a mile a "Bet drinks," says minute, and cleared an eight-rail fence without layWe then looked back, and the ing an evening promenade. Worthy, "that I make those ladies follow and keep ing hands thereon. pace with me, whether I walk fast or slow, for the cow was standing where we left the earth and comnext ten minutes." The bet was taken by Charley mitted ourself to the air, looking more astonished H, and he was invited by Worthy to come along than angry. The old servant was at the other side and see that all was fairly done. By this time the of the pen, with one hand on the fence and the othgirls were passing. Worthy linked arms with Char-er on his bowels, bent almost to the ground in a fit ley, and, apparently not seeing the ladies, stepped in the same direction and directly in front of them, and just near enough to let them hear his harangue. "The wedding was to be at nine o'clock. The President, the Cabinet, all the foreign Ministers, and the élite of the city were expected to be present; and Bishop- with half a dozen assisting clergymen, was to officiate." By this time the girls had overheard sufficient to enlist their earnest attention, and, almost unconsciously, were closely following the gentlemen. Worthy proceeded with a minute and eloquent description of the (imaginary) wedding. The bride, bridemaids, and the ladies present, with their dresses, jewelry, etc., etc., were elaborately portrayed; and for nearly fifteen minutes did the girls follow in close and attentive pursuit, without regarding either the distance or the direction of their promenade. Worthy, however, had gradually turned corners and crossed streets until the Tremont was again attained, when the gentlemen joined their confederates; and the ladies passed on, in blissful ignorance of the cruel "sell" by which they had been so unmercifully victimized.

A FAIR correspondent down East sends the fol-
lowing:

When the temperance movement had banished
the well-filled decanters from our side-board we
consoled ourselves with root-beer, which an old cook
who had been long in the family made to perfection.
The bottles were usually kept in a large closet in
one of our sleeping apartments. One night a stran-
Just
ger arrived and was shown to this room.
toward morning, when we were all enjoying our
soundest slumbers, we were aroused by a cry of
"Thieves! murder! help! help!" My mother, al-

'My Lord, master, you ain't gettin' old vit!" Not seeing any thing particularly funny in and he bowed himself again in cachinatory paroxysm. the transaction ourself, and feeling indisposed to pursue our investigations in regard to the cattle epidemic, we left the place. If it should be our misfortune to lose any more of our stock we would as soon lose that cow as any other.

THE Drawer gets this from California:

Two gentlemen (?) were debating the respective virtues of whisky straight and claret clear, Farmer G- claiming that the former was the thing for a campaign in the wilderness, while Lawyer Bclaimed that the latter contained both nutriment and "liquiment." Finally they came to words, and at last bowie-knives were brought in sight. At this stage of the Soon they were advancing, each declaring that he "friends" interfered, and some little would annihilate the other. proceedings difficulty was found to hold them, especially the farmer, as he was much stronger than the lawyer. Farmer G was about to free himself from their hold, when the lawyer shouted, "Hold us, boys! hold us! Two of you hold him; one can hold me!"

NEAR Atlanta is stationed the officer who writes to the Drawer:

A "gentleman of color," whom we had hired for "rough work," was moving a cask marked in large characters, "Shoulders," when he was asked by one of his colored brethren what it was. Straightening himself up, and looking as wise as an owl, he exclaimed, "Jim, if I can read, dat am Hams!"

Furnished by Mr. G. BRODIE, 300 Canal Street, New York, and drawn by VOIGT from actual articles of Costume.

FIGURE 3.-CORSAGE À BASQUE.