Frankenstein's Monster, shall we say, only intimately, inseparably related to its creator by a sort of clinging identity in dread duality? Can it be the old story of Dr. FELL? Or is it the mere radiance of a foul soul that transpires through and transfigures its clay continent? The last, I think; for O, my poor old PATRICK M'JEKYLL, if ever I read Satan's signature upon a face, it is on that of your mysterious associate." M'JEKYLL, indeed, stood at times aghast before the acts of O'HYDE; but the situation was apart from ordinary law, and insidiously relaxed the grasp of conscience. It was O'HYDE, after all, and O'HYDE only, that was guilty. M'JEKYLL was no worse; he woke again to his good qualities, as man, citizen, and patriot, seemingly unimpaired; he would even make haste, where it was possible, to undo the evil done by O'HYDE. Thus, at least, self-love asserted; and thus conscience was made to slumber. And M'JEKYLL himself? Do recent incidents seem, like the Babylonian finger on the wall, to be spelling out the letters of his judgment? Does he begin to reflect more seriously than ever before on the issues and possibilities of his double existence? Do things indeed, as his somewhat hot and injudicial accusers roundly assert, seem to point to this: that he is slowly losing hold of his original and better self, and becoming slowly incorporated with his second and worse? Or, as his more partial friends declare, and as all good and kindly hearts would ardently desire, is the exact contrary the case? Is it, not the fear of the gallows, but the horror of being O'HYDE that now alone can rack him? Does he indeed hate and fear the thought of the brute that slept within or raged beside him? Has he now seen the full deformity of that creature that shared with him some of the phenomena of consciousness, and was now co-heir with him to death; and beyond these links of community, which in themselves should make the most poignant part of his distress, does he think of O'HYDE, for all his energy of life, as of something not only hellish but inorganic, anarchic, opposed to all essential humanity as to all ordered law? Who does not hope so? What man, not blinded by national prejudice, or hardened by Party spite, does not desire that closer inquiry may bring only clearer proof of the effective dissolution of the dismal and deadly bond, be it close and abiding as angry foes assert, or light and transient as tolerant friends maintain, between Dr. M'JEKYLL and Mr. O'HYDE? LETTERS BEFORE PROOFS. DEAR MR. PUNCH, THE practice of publishing letters that were dashed off by the writers at a moment's notice, and without any intention of being read by anyone save the recipient, has become so fashionable that I am thinking seriously of printing a collection that I have made myself. But before doing so I would like to ask your advice upon a point connected with the matter. First, however, I had better give you a few specimens from what I call my "note"-book. The first is from a well-known statesman relative to the conduct of a colleague. For the moment I suppress names, but you may take it from me that they are full of interest : A NASTY ONE. Colonel Smithson (of the Poonah Marines). "BY THE WAY, MY BOY AT SANDHURST HOPES TO GET INTO YOUR REGIMENT SOME DAY." YOUR SON IS UP TO OUR FORM!" Little Snipson (of the Royal Hussars Green). "Aw-I-Aw-HOPE Colonel Smithson. "YOUR FORM? DASH IT, HE 'S OVER FOUR FEET HIGH, ANYHOW!" bearing on the Bench, where he jumps about like an imperfectly educated cock-sparrow, and makes faces and shakes his head like an organ-grinder's monkey. For all this, he is to be my host on Tuesday, and therefore I think I had better reserve further criticism until we meet. Yours, &c., Yet once more : DEAR VIC.,-Can write? No. I answer in the negative because I have just waded through his last novel. I had to skip three-fourths of it, and the remainder I found to be a hash of somebody else's work! He has asked me to be present at his Silver Wedding Day. Of course I am going, but I wish I could change the appointment for his funeral. Yours, Here is another. It is from an eminent tragedian, and refers to publish them? the first appearance of a fellow player : MY DEAR OLD MAN, can WHAT an idea! You absolutely think that play Hamlet! Why, the man has no more notion of acting than the Man in the Moon! Why, he cannot even speak the Queen's English, much less deliver blank verse! Awkward, ungainly, indistinct! The best thing he can do is to return to the ploughfield, from whence, I imagine, he must have been called away on reaching his majority. I would write more were it not that I have to sup with him after his painfully wearisome performance. Yours, &c., There, Mr. Punch! What do you think of the above? Shall I Yours truly, VICTOR VAPID. Answer.-Shall you publish them? Why, certainly! They are sure to please everybody! POOR Mr. BANDMANN! About ten days ago he appeared at the Opéra Comique in a character, or rather two characters, totally unsuited to his physique, and for his pains the evening's performance awarded in the columns of the London Press critiques of the most was greeted with a fair amount of derision. Subsequently he was uncomplimentary character. Later still the entertainment was presented before an audience that warranted, by its appearance, the reflection that, as a pecuniary speculation, the venture might be Courts and asked that he might be sent to prison! The Judge, however, was merciful, and on Mr. BANDMANN undertaking not to play in the characters any more until after the Long Vacation, allowed him his freedom. It is possible that his Lordship may have seen the eminent tragedian in the dual character, which would, of course, account for the view he took of the requirements of the situation! Here is another about a not very popular Judge, written by one unfortunate. And, latest of all, somebody applied at the Royal of his Brethren on the Bench:: MY DEAR MR. VAPID, You ask me what I think of Mr. Justice ? This is rather a difficult problem, as I never think of him at all. As a lawyer, he is beneath contempt, and as a man, or, rather, manikin, he is painfully absurd. Nothing can be more ridiculous than his 66 REPRISALS! Tradesman (to Old Gentleman, who has purchased Lawn-mower). "YES, SIR, I'LL OIL IT, AND SEND IT OVER IMM Customer (imperatively). "No, NO, NO !-IT MUSTN'T BE OILED! I WON'T HAVE IT OILED! MIND THAT! I WANT NOISE! AND, LOOK HERE-PICK ME OUT A NICE RUSTY ONE. MY NEIGHBOUR'S CHILDREN HOOT AND YELL TILL TEN O'CLOCK EVERY NIGHT, SO "(viciously)-"I MEAN TO CUT MY GRASS FROM FOUR TILL SIX EVERY MORNING!!" THE DIARY OF A NOBODY. time was so short she had decided on Margate, and had written to Mrs. BECK, Harbour View Terrace, for apartments. August 1.-Ordered a new pair of trousers at BENJAMIN'S, and told them not to cut them so loose over the boot. The last pair being so loose and also tight at the knee, looked like a sailor's, and I heard PITT, that offensive young cub at the office call out "Hornpipe!" as I passed his desk. CARRIE has ordered of Miss JIBBONS a pink Garibaldi and blue serge skirt which I always think looks so pretty at the seaside. In the evening she trimmed herself a little sailor-hat while I read to her the "Exchange and Mart." We had a good laugh over my trying on the hat when she had finished it, CARRIE saying it looked so funny with my whiskers, and how the people would have roared if I went on the stage like it. August 2.-Mrs. BECK wrote to say we could have our usual rooms at Margate. That's off our mind. Bought a coloured shirt and a pair of tan-coloured boots, which I see many of the swell clerks wearing in the City, and I hear are all the "go." July 30.-The miserable cold weather is either upsetting me or CARRIE, or both. We seem to break out into an argument about absolutely nothing, and this unpleasant state of things usually occurs at meal times. This morning for some unaccountable reason we were talking about balloons and we were as merry as possible, but the conversation drifted into family matters, during which, CARRIE, without the slightest reason, referred in the most uncomplimentary manner to my poor father's pecuniary trouble. I retorted, by saying that "Pa at all events was a gentleman," whereupon CARRIE burst out crying. I positively could not eat any breakfast. At the office I was sent for by Mr. PERKUPP, who said he was very sorry, but I should have to take my annual holidays from next Saturday. FRANCHING called at office, and asked me to dine at his Club, "The Radical Conservative." Fearing disagreeables at home after the tiff" this morning, I sent a telegram to CARRIE telling her I was going out to dine, and she was not to sit up. Bought a little silver bangle for CARRIE. July 31.-CARRIE was very pleased with the bangle which I left with an affectionate note on her dressing-table last night before going to bed. I told CARRIE we should have to start for our holiday next Saturday. She replied quite happily that she did not mind except that the weather was so bad, and she feared that Miss JIBBONS would not be able to get her a seaside dress in time. I told CARRIE that I thought the drab one with pink bows looked quite good enough, and CARRIE said she should not think of wearing it. I was about to discuss the matter, when remembering the argument yesterday, resolved to hold my tongue. I said to CARRIE, I don't think we can do better than Good old Margate." CARRIE, not only to my astonishment raised an objection to Margate for the first time, but begged me not to use the expression "Good old," but to leave it to Mr. STILLBROOK and other gentlemen of his type. Hearing my 'bus pass the window, I was obliged to rush out of the house without kissing CARRIE as usual, and I shouted to her, "I leave it to you to decide." On returning in the evening CARRIE said she thought as Greenwood." August 3.-A beautiful day. Looking forward to to-morrow. CARRIE bought a parasol about five feet long. I told her it was ridiculous. She said, "Not worse than your coloured shirt." So the matter dropped. I bought a capital hat for hot weather at the sea-side. I don't know what it is called, but it is the shape of the helmet worn in India, only made of straw. Got three new ties, two coloured handkerchiefs, and a pair of navy-blue socks at POPE BROTHERS. Spent the evening packing. CARRIE told me not to forget to borrow Mr. HIGGSWORTH's telescope, which he always lends me, knowing I know how to take care of it. Sent SARAH out for it. While everything was seeming so bright, the last post brought us a letter from Mrs. BECK, saying, "I have just let all my house to one party, and am sorry I must take back my words, and am sorry you must find other apartments." AUGUST 6TH.-Memorable this year as "The First Heat." OMITTED FROM THE "ST. J. G." REPERTOIRE. "Under the ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. minent position reached by Irish, determined to do bit of obstruction on own account. On the whole, rather dreary business. If we must have obstruction, prefer Irish brand. WALLACE began it at Saturday sitting-not WALLACE of Elderslie and Auchinbothie, but Member for East Edinburgh. Pragmatical person who delivers Latin tags House of Commons, Monday Night, August 6.-Curious place, with Perthshire accent. Suddenly dawned upon him that he is a House of Commons. Summoned to-day to take Report Stage of humorist. Discovery made on Saturday. Girded in hippopotamic Parnell Commission Bill; everybody discussing probable course of manner at LORD-ADVOCATE; House always laughs when it looks on debate; would Amendments be moved? If so, how many? Would or thinks of LORD-ADVOCATE; laughed when WALLACE said something speeches be made? If so, how long? In the end House never rude about him; WALLACE delighted with unexpected success; reached Commission Bill at all. Scotch Members, envious of pro- hammered away at joke on Saturday afternoon; brought it up again "Off and on I've sat in this House for twenty- Exit Lord Claud. Business done.-In the Lords, a good Tuesday." Heard the news?" said Lobby on starboard tack, close-hauled, a newspaper reefed in his 66 More crackling of thorns under the pot; additional facial contortions. 66 Ah, that was very funny," I said, "but it happened a long time ago. Came on at Half-past Four; now it's Eleven." "Yes, I know," said WALLACE. Heard it at the time; only just seen the joke. Often takes me that way; sometimes it's a day after; occasionally a week. To-night I've been rather sharp. But it comes sooner or later. Assure you, though you mighn't think it, there's very little in the way of a good joke I miss, take the Session through." Nice, well-meaning man, WALLACE; though, regarded as a companion, a little embarrassing; appropriates his daily share of humour by sort of slowmatch process. Never know when you have him. Glad he finally saw the little joke about LORD-ADVOCATE and Edinburgh 427 aot up at Question Time between FIELD Absent from the Post o. and LORD-ADVOCATE. How was it, FIELD asked, that Lord Provost of Edinburgh, as Lord High Admiral of Firth of Forth, took no steps to defend Leith against attack hand, and flag of distress flying. Awful!" he said, laying-to, by fleet, which led to bombardment of Edinburgh? and jibbooming his lee scuppers with his pocket-handkerchief. LORD-ADVOCATE, with just a twinkle of mirth on his massive "Oban taken by the Channel Squadron. Aberdeen bombarded countenance, gravely replied that that distinguished naval officer, by four line-of-battle ships forming part of Admiral FITZROY's the Lord High Admiral of the Firth of Forth had only a phantom Attacking Squadron. Forth Bridge destroyed, and not a stone fleet under his command, and had acted wisely in keeping it out of standing on Inchkeith, in the Frith of Forth. Always said it would sight. Humour being contagious, CALDWELL asked SECRETARY of come to this. Came into House little late to save my country. But STATE for WAR how it came to pass that LORD- ADVOCATE holding done my best. Been laughed at, sneered at, snubbed by First Lord, commission as Colonel in Militia, was not at who doesn't know a halyard from a yard that isn't haled; and now, Post of danger? STANHOPE, in delightfully you see, where we are.' official manner, explained that the land forces not being called into action, the gallant Admiral shook in my face the news of hapless Aberdeen, and unfortunate Inchkeith, and sheered off to blast other ears with the direful news. Meanwhile, House of Commons going on with Commission Bill, just as if hand of invader were not laid heavily on Scotland. By desperate coup OLD MORALITY had snuffed out all Amendments on Committee stage. At One o'Clock on particular morning Clauses peremptorily put from the Chair, and carried. Here they come up again on the Report Stage, like Snarleyow, the Dog Fiend," says Admiral MAYNE, who still reads MARRYATT. Anyhow, a dogged debate. House, curiously full, considering end of all things at hand. HARCOURT looks in after dinner. Rapidly catches up drift of debate; plunges in, "like elephant in a tank," as CHAPLIN says; splashes splendidly; seized opportunity to speak disrespectfully of profession of Law, sneering at Old Bailey view" taken of Bill by HOME SECRETARY. This brought up EDWARD CLARKE with lively speech, that greatly delighted House. Went straight for HARCOURT, regardless of disparity of size. Bit and snapped, and, on the whole, made HARCOURT rather wish he'd stopped another half hour at dinner. House sat long way into to-morrow morning. Still didn't pass Bill. Business Done.-Report Stage of Parnell Commission Bill. Thursday.-Strange thing happened to-night. "You may and you Time, Eleven o'Clock. Indian Budget on. JAMES Mayne't." STUART demonstrated afresh how a really able Old Saw. man in own line can prove utter failure in House of Commons. Eight Members present, including SPEAKER. Half asleep myself. Roused by hearing noise like crackling of thorns under a pot. Came from man next to me. Looked up; found it was WALLACE. Noise continued. Strange contortion of features. Getting alarmed. "What's the matter, old fellow ?" I said, cheerily, trying to make light of it. Colic?" Colonel's services had not been needed. A Saturday.-Winding things up to-day. Thing is to make most of present oppor- «An unbroken front." tunities. This Irish Members do. Other Members want to go home. But AKERS-DOUGLAS on guard at the door. Presents unbroken front of resistance. "Wait a bit, dear boy," he says, persuasively. "You needn't dine here to-night, but we must see Adjournment carried." So they tarry till end comes. Business done.-All. NOTICE.-Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception. |