OUR JAPANNERIES. No. 7.

A PARLIAMENTARY WIMBLEDON.

Suggestion unanimously adopted. Noble Lords adjourned in condition of high elation.

"A set of common persons," said that other Plantagenet Peer, BRABOURNE. "Teach 'em to mind their own business. Think we could get on very well without the Commons. Save time and expense. At any rate, won't have them dictating to Us. A Peer not to interfere in a Parliamentary Election, forsooth! Then what's to become of ME and my personal influence ?"

Business done. In Commons, pegging away at Local Government Bill.

Tuesday. OLD MORALITY appeared at Table with bulky bundle of copybook headings. Ďesire to do our duty; animated by one feeling; nothing further from our thoughts; most anxious to meet views of House; no desire to affect legitimate discussion; profoundly regret; a great property in which the nation has a deep, a large, and a vested interest; would not use the power placed in our hands to interfere with the liberties of Hon. Members; I may be allowed to travel somewhat farther, and say; certainly, Sir; always guided by a due sense of my responsibility desire to act in the interests of the public service; in this I do not wish to be understood; when I say this, I must also state; we should not be justified in allowing; I am afraid we should not think it right; and so on, leading up to final conclusion to appropriate all the time of the House for Government business.

"Attention!"

"I at least will die hard," said the Red Earl, plucking a dagger from his boot.

"Ha! ha!" said ROSEBERY, resolutely, though with slight tendency to chattering of teeth.

"We must dissemble," said GRANVILLE. "ARGYLL's a terrible man when blood of MACALLUM MORE boils."

A crowded House. Privy Councillors throng steps of Throne.
M.P.'s packed in pens at Bar. LOCK-
WOOD seized opportunity to make sketches
for his forthcoming portrait of "Duke of
ARGYLL as Bantam Cock, Crowing on his
Own Dunghill." Peers' benches crowded.
Bishops in lawn, Ladies in side Galleries,
and in high feather.

Our Artist Q.C.

"Glad I didn't carry out first intention to come in kilt," said the MACALLUM MORE, modestly glancing at galleries, whence fifty pair of bright eyes scanned his manly form.

Just as preliminary business cleared off, STRATHEDEN AND CAMPBELL blew their nose. In the distance sounded something like earliest effort at tuning bagpipe. MACALLUM MORE started like ancient war-horse at sound of trump. A great occasion. Rose to its full height and his own. Perhaps a little historical in his treatment of subject. Had avowedly come to praise the present Government. Lagged on the way to bang GLADSTONE on the head and scarify SPENCER. Pretty to see the Red Earl, when opprobrium heaped upon him, stoop and furtively feel if the dagger was still in his boot.

For full hour by Westminster clock MACALLUM MORE enjoyed himself. Presently would have pleasure of hearing the Markiss and others extol his speech, whilst Opposition feebly struggled against flood of eloquence and force of argument. The debate would stand Sage of Queen Anne's Gate jeeringly criticises proposals. Doctor it in the morning, and the distant glades of Inverary faintly echo its out in forefront of historic battles royal. London would ring with GRANDOLPH, LL.D., much distressed at this frivolity. Severely birches Sage. Then turns upon Government, tears to shreds the grander passages. Everybody wound up to fever-heat by his eloamiable copybook headings, sprinkles Treasury Bench with frag-quence; yearning to join in fray. Better not take up too much time. ments. OLD MORALITY proposes to take Local Government Bill So at end of hour and quarter sat down. Gazed haughtily round through Committee, pass all Supply, adjourn early in August, resume attentive Senate. Who in the urgent race would win the prize of for Autumn Session at the end of October. Dr. GRANDOLPH demon-place and immediately follow him? The black-browed Markiss, the strates practical impossibility of this arrangement. Shall be here glucosic GRANVILLE, the Red Earl with his secreted weapon, or the till September carrying out first part of programme. How could ribald ROSEBERY, capable of speaking disrespectfully of the Equator? House be asked to meet again in October? (Did the other day actually allude to Dook as a portentous political "GRANDOLPH's quite right," said BATES, clasping his hands in pedagogue.") A wondering silence fell over the crowded benches. habitual devotional attitude. "If programme's carried out, shall A rustle of garments, a murmur of whispered conversation, somecertainly have an Autumn Session, but it'll last thing like a titter rippling along Front Opposition Bench, and then straight through from now till November." -the Lord CHANCELLOR on his feet putting the Question! It was all over. Bad quarter of an hour on Treasury Bench. accord that there was nothing in the oration suggesting reply. The House had listened, and concluded with one Deliverance from unexpected quarter. GLADSTONE Debate a monologue. Opposition broke forth into unseemly laughter, takes Government under paternal wing. Ministerialists answered with angry cheer. As for the MACALLUM

The Ven. and Rev.

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Keep your eye on your father," he says, "and your father will pull you through."

MORE he could not understand it.

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Business done.-Local Government Bill in Commons.

So he does, insisting as price of deliverance that "A low practical joke," he said, glancing suspiciously at ROSELife Peerages Bill shall be abandoned. OLD MO-BERY; then with head thrown back, and chest more than ever proRALITY gratefully gasps forth assent. Message sent tuberant, he stalked forth. across to Lords. Been debating Life Peerages Bill all night. Just agreeing to read it a Second Time when OLD MORALITY's note arrived. The Markiss boils over with rage; nothing for it but to drop Bill, which he does in magnificent passage of withering scorn. Sends note to OLD MORALITY to say would like to see him for few minutes.

O. M. sends back word, very busy indeed. In fact has an urgent summons to other end of town. Back d'reckly.

Business done.-Autumn Session arranged for. Thursday.-Lords having it all their own way this week. Commons not in it. To-night, all the world knows that The MACALLUM MORE is to move Vote of Confidence in Government with special reference to Irish Administration. Ordinary attractions of speech by the Dook increased by natural curiosity as to issue. Will the Lords pass Resolution, or will Opposition, mustering in overwhelming force, defeat it? Quite exciting prospect. Nothing like little uncertainty to make debate draw.

Walking towards House beheld three cloaked figures, cautiously proceeding along Corridor. Knew them at once, in spite of disguise and shrinking gait. 'Twas GRANVILLE, SPENCER, and ROSEBERY, helping each other along, mutually cheerful.

Friday. Gog and Magog had their noses pulled to-nightPICKERSGILL proposed to deprive Corporation of ancient right to appoint to the offices of Recorder and Common Serjeant. ATTORNEYGENERAL said "No." Much cheering from Gog and Magog. Then GRANDOLPH supported Amendment. HENRY JAMES followed; OLD MORALITY capitulated; Gog and Magog groaned.

Business done.-Local Government Bill advancing by leaps and bounds.

NOTICE.-Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule

BOMBASTES FURIOSO À LA FRANÇAISE.

(Adapted from the Old English Burlesque.)

The Royalist Party.
Mdme. LA FRANCE.

M. FLOQUET.

June 4.-In the evening CARRIE and I went round to Mr. and Mrs. CUMMINGS' to spend a quiet evening with them. GOWING was there, also Mr. STILLBROOK. It was quiet but pleasant. Mrs. CUMMINGS sang five or six songs-" Maggie's Secret," and "Why don't the Men propose?" being best in my humble judgment. But what pleased me most was the duet she sang with CARRIE -classical duet, too. I think it is calledGENERAL BOULANGER." I would that my Love." It was beautiful. If CARRIE had been in better voice, I don't think professionals could have sung it better. After supper we made them sing it again. I never liked Mr. STILLBROOK since the walk that Sunday to the "Cow and Hedge," but I must say he sings comic songs well. His song, "We don't Want the Old Men now," made us shriek with laughter, especially the verse referring to Mr. GLADSTONE. But there was one verse I think he might have omitted, and I said so, but GoWING thought it was the best of the lot. "Chacun à son gout," as the French say.

The situation represented is the finish of the combat between Prime Minister Fusbos and General Bombastes, and it may be interesting to add that, in the original version, the finale ran thus:

Distaffina (distracted).

Artaxominous (rising unexpectedly).
Fusbos (considerably astonished).
General Bombastes (suddenly sitting up).

Briny tears I'll shed.

I for joy shall cry, too!
Zounds! the King's alive!
Yes! and so am I, too.

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June 6. TRILLIP brought round the shirts, and to my disgust, his charge for repairing was more than I gave for them when new. I told him so, and he impertinently replied, Well, they are better now than when they were new." I paid him, and said it was a robbery. He said, "If you wanted your shirt-fronts made out of pauper-linen, such as is used for packing and bookbinding, why didn't you say so."

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June 7.-A dreadful annoyance. Met Mr. FRANCHING, who lives at Peckham, and who is a great swell in his way. I ventured to ask him to come home to meat-tea, and take pot-luck. I did not think he would accept such a humble invitation, but he did, saying in a most friendly way he would rather peck" with us than by himself. I said, We had better get into this Blue 'bus." He replied, "No blue-bussing for me. I have had enough of the blues lately. I lost a cool thou' over the Copper Scare. Step in here." We drove up in style home, and without getting an answer. I knocked three times at the front door I saw CARRIE through the panels of ground glass (with stars), rushing up-stairs. I told Mr. FRANCHING to wait at the door while I went round to the side. There I saw the grocer's boy actually picking off the paint on the time to reprove him, so went round and door, which had formed into blisters. No effected an entrance through the kitchen window. I let in Mr. FRANCHING, and showed him into the drawing-room. I went up-stairs to CARRIE, who was changing her dress, and told her I had persuaded Mr. FRANCHING to come home. She replied, black-How can you do such a thing; you know it's SARAH'sholiday, and there's not a thing in the house, the cold mutton having turned

But in the French version this order will not be exactly followed, as General Bombastes will sing the second line. Fusbos, much astonished, will exclaim, "Tiens! il vit encore!" and the King will sing the last line. So far, the rehearsals have been eminently satisfactory.

May 21.-The last week or ten days terribly dull. CARRIE being away at Mrs. JAMES'S, at Sutton. CUMMINGS also away. GOWING, I presume, is still offended with me for enamelling his stick without asking him.

May 22.-Purchased a new stick mounted with silver which cost seven-and-sixpence (shall tell CARRIE five shillings), and sent it round with nice note to GOWING. May 23.-Received strange note from GoWING. He says: "Offended? Not a bit, my boy. I thought you were offended with me for losing my temper. Besides, I found, after all, it was not my poor old uncle's stick you painted. It was only a shilling thing I bought at a tobacconist's. However, I am much obliged to you for your handsome present all the same." May 24.-CARRIE back. Hoorah! She looks wonderfully well, except that the sun has caught her nose.

May 25.-CARRIE brought down some of my shirts and advised me to take them to TRILLIP'S round the corner. She said: "The fronts and cuffs are much frayed." I said without a moment's hesitation, "I'm 'frayed they are." Lor! How we roared. I thought we should never stop laughing. As I happened to be sitting next the driver going to town on the 'bus, I told him my joke about the " frayed" shirts. I thought he would have rolled off his seat. They laughed at the office a good bit too over it.

May 26.-Left the shirts to be repaired at TRILLIP's. I said to him: "I'm 'fraid they are frayed!" He said without a smile, "They're bound to do that, Sir." Some people seem to be quite destitute of a sense of humour.

June 2.-The last week has been like old times. CARRIE being back, and GOWING and CUMMINGS calling every evening nearly. Twice we sat out in the garden quite late. This evening we were like a pack of children, and played "Consequences." It is a good game. June 3.-Consequences again this evening. Not quite so successful as last Saturday. GOWING having several times over-stepped the limits of good taste.

London Artisan (to Expiring Metropolitan Board of Works). "Do ONE GOOD WORK BEFORE YOU DEPART THIS LIFE, AND, AT A STROKE OF THE PEN, SECURE THE BENEFITS OFFERED AT HAMPSTEAD TO THE LONDON TOILERS, THEIR WIVES, AND CHILDREN."