Abbildungen der Seite
PDF
EPUB

ONCE MORE IN LONDON.

Londinium--cognomento quidem coloniæ non insigne !!—sed copia negotiato

rum et commeatuum maxime celebre.

66

THE taking up of old and interrupted local associations, is generally attended, in consequence of the mere lapse of time, and the ordinary effects of that circumstance, with more pain than pleasure; the revival of acquaintance, even with his own country, is to an Englishman rather striking than agreeable, as far as all external circumstances are concerned. The advantages of England do not present themselves in relief, even to ourselves; they all lie below the surface; we are compelled to look for them, to insinuate ourselves anew into them, and to accede, in a variety of ways, at first disagreeable, to the conditions annexed to them. Our society (though we only find it out by comparison) is all stiff, formal, frigid; se gèner," a term so abhorrent to other nations, is inseparable from it: but it is rational and intelligent, although defective in gaiety, and after its own fashion, even polite. One of the very worst forms in which London presents itself, even to a Londoner, is that of the inn, hotel, xenodocheion, khan, or caravansera, to which, (if he have no household gods of his own,) he must repair on his arrival. What then must a Frenchman, or a native of Southern Europe, think of a similar reception?—The soi-disant coffee-room, stalled off like a stable, with its two or three miserable candles, its sanded floor, its phalanx of empty decanters, and wine glasses full of tooth-picks and wafers, its solitude and its silence! To such a place was I obliged to betake myself, after a first and a long absence, which had cancelled abundance of national prejudices, and impaired the power of accommodating to the habits I was about to resume. The newspapers, those polyglott versions of the infinitely diversified events, accidents, crimes, punishments, and contingencies of an enormous metropolis, for a single day, were the only resource. But their interest was lost to me, and after listening a-while to the ticking of the dial, and making many a fretful glance at the coffee-house system of Naples, Venice, and Paris, I abruptly summoned the chambermaid, and followed her to the cell to which she had destined me for the night. One advan

TACIT. Annal. XIV. 33.

tage, indeed, there was in this ambitious apartment, that if a fire should take place in the better frequented floors of this immense barrack, selves" and the pigeons would probably be the longest survivors.

our

[blocks in formation]

The balance between sleep and watching is often very nicely poised. In the present instance, it was quickly turned in favour of the latter, by the novelty of my position, and a swarm of accumulating recollections. At last came the dawn, and with it the consciousness (more luxurious than sleep itself) of going to sleep the night servants were all snoring, the coach office itself was hush'd, not a hoof was yet heard on the silex below, nor other sound than that of a restless fidgetty horse taking a snatch or two of hay at unseasonable hours, when long before a sparrow thought it worth his while to chirp at the window, a little demon emerged from a neighbouring chimney, and uttered the dolorous cry of his miserable trade! I never curse a chimney sweeper, though a good curser in my own way, however unseasonably he visits me, chiefly, I believe, because he is a child, and of all children the most luckless: "Ah, who can tell how hard it is to climb !"-I betook myself, therefore, to the more innocent employment of musing on other visitings of aerial voices that I had chanced to hear. There was the hymn by the little choristers from the top of Magdalen tower, on the first of May, at four o'clock in the morning-"O mihi præteritos referet si Jupiterannos!"-One could easily dispense with a night's rest in those days!-(You,my very dear Oxford reader, should not neglect to assist for once at this ancient and touching piece of monastic devotion; you may afterwards walk up Heddington hill, and be back in plenty time for chapel, or, what you care more about, for breakfast.) To this succeeded another propitious recollection: namely, my first expergefaction at Farsa (Pharsalia;) there was a tall minaret just above my window: a thin silvery voice awoke me on the

the most delightful of autumnal mornings. It was directed toward Mecca, and it spoke of Universal Allah, and of prayer! Unfortunately this last reflection (when a man begins to reflect, there is no knowing where it will end) suggested another-I had begun to think of writing about my travels, and this made all farther expostulations with sleep useless; for, except a bad conscience, nothing is so fatal to that best gift of the gods, as projected or progressive authorship. What would not one sometimes give, during these unwelcome vigils, for a candle and a pencil? In the morning, either the thought is gone, or the curiosa felicitas of expression, in which you had finally embalmed it, cannot be recovered! That the author, whether of books or mischief, can contrive to sleep at all, is indeed a marvel!" L'auteur de tant de maux connoit donc le sommeil ?" Gentle reader,read Mots-meo periculo, as Bentley says.

The first morning of one's return φιλην ες πατρίδα γαιαν, has plenty of occupation-Lodgings to be procured, a matter of very grave consideration, and not always, where so many pug nantia secum points are to be reconciled, of very facile accomplishment per varios casus, tendemus in Latiumquarters at once genteel, quiet, airy, cheerful, sunny, economical; not too near one's tailor, (you have perhaps just stumbled on his last year's bill, with all its array of blue coats no long er in existence :) hic labor, hoc opus est! The night coaches and mails were now trundling in, and the morning ones rattling out; (I like to avail myself of improvements in language.) Those vast cinerary urns, the dust-carts, equipped with bell, basket, and ladder, and huge as the soros of an Egyptian king, were collecting their morning offerings of dust, and ashes, and other penitential exuvia; all sufficient intimations, that, for a man who had his lodgings to seek, it was not quite time

to rise.

[blocks in formation]

that in the order and economy of human affairs, my visit to Rome was postponed till those horrid fellows, the Corybantes, (who used to run about clashing cymbals, and making other hideous noises,) were as dead as Constantine. Indeed, I hate noise of all kinds, where the elements of it can be distinguished; where these are blended into one grand and imposing com position-one magnificent diapasonas in the great streets of London or Naples, one's ear drinks in the harmony of the great wave of sound with a pleasure analogous to that which the eye derives from examining complicated machinery, or even from the sight of multitudes going we know not whither, and coming we care not whence. But, in the small quiet streets and squares, where the vocal and instrumental parts are directed by the very demon of discord; where tracheas of both sexes, and of all calibres, sustain themselves contentiously among bells, bagpipes, ballad-singers, barrelorgans, clarionets, cod-fish, cabbages, and cat's meat-to say nothing of the rumbling of carts, the rattling of coaches, the jingling of hoops, and the barking of curs, which are merely accompaniments-why the man that is not moved by this concord of sweet sounds, is well deserving of the anathema of Shakespeare. How thankfully does one hear the emphatic double knock of the postman at 12 o'clock, which usually disperses these "diversa monstra ferarum" for the day. Where is the book, in these degenerate times, so amusing, or the occupation so interesting, as to suspend the acute sense of them? The Greeks and Persians, you recollect, were so hard at it, as to lose the agrement of the earthquake that happened during the battle of─I forget which—the story is known. See Herodotus. It is, Scottish reader, or Irish, allow me to inform you, that it is of no use to quit your lodgings, for these Eumenides stick to your flanks as they did to Orestes; omnibus umbra locis adero ; dabis, improbe, pœnas;-of no use to pay or persuade creatures alike inexorable and incorruptible. The only palliative that I know is, to read a canto of the Gierusalemme aloud, or a long passage of the Eneid, in your softest and mellowest tone; (this expedient used to compose Burke when he was ruffled.) Above all things, beware of fiddling or fluting in

opposition or despite of them, unless you mean to convert a simple headache into a legitimate delirium.

I had returned in the pleasing hope that the course of nature had probably removed many of my persecutors to the stars, and that in all likelihood the vocal organs of several of the more distinguished, had been pour encourager les autres,t long since cleverly suspended in spirits, by the lovers of comparative anatomy, gentlemen who are indefatigable in get ting possession, per fas atque nefas, of any favourite morsel of your mortal spoils. Alas! I am now convinced that they never die! The same cadence, the acute dagger-like scream from the top of the wind-pipe, (for the wretches literally "speak daggers”) all as audible as ever. The parental howl, growl, screech, bawl, yell, or whine, (if the sire really be mortal, which I doubt), must be taught with uncommon diligence to the young Arcadians, for I did not escape a single agony, or find a single cord of catgut, "vocal no more." To whatever precautions of the parties themselves, or to whatever beneficent provisions of nature it may be owing,

"Uno avulso non deficit alter Aureus, similique, frondescit virga metallo." A blind man in particular lives for ever; of that there can be no doubt. A blind man, did I say? every blind man that I recollect when I was a boy at school, or his daλov, continues to cross me now, an interval quite sufficient to constitute what the Italians call un pezzo; or, Madam, if your curiosity is still more importunate, I am exactly as old as Horace was when he wrote his 13th Satire

"Me quater undenos scias implevisse

"Decembres."

There is, for instance, the man who sells boot laces, and enjoys as flourishing a commerce of leathern thongs as if he had lived among the vides Axalot, or the modern Albanians, (as I

sincerely wish he had)-you still hear the tap of his protruded stick on the pavement for half a league before he arrives! Then there is the Corydon, whose clarionet has been persecuting "Nanny" to "gang wi' him," to my knowledge for these ten years; but she remains, it seems, as attached to London, as inexorable as ever, as indifferent to his sufferings-and mine. I used to wonder that another of my blind friends, who delighted to make an eclat of his unjustifiable passion for "Roy's Wife," was not put down by the Society for the Suppression of Vice, (Oh! that there was one for the suppression of noise!) as an inimical person; he has happily disappeared, so that perhaps my conjecture is verified, or a reconciliation has been effected between the parties, and Roy has obtained a proper compensation for his injuries in the civil and ecclesiastical courts. In the nonage of my experience, and the immaturity of my taste, I used to be scandalized, also, at several of these peripatetics, who called upon you in strains, as I foolishly thought, quite destructive of the emotion, to "pity the poor blind," or talked of their "precious sight," with appropriate gestures, and an adequate exhibition of white eyeballs. I am now convinced that the ostentation of misery is altogether of classical and heroic origin. Philoctetes utters more "Omes !" about his sore foot, than a patient at St George's:-and Edipus exposes his bodily ails and misfortunes in a strain of very edifying pathos. I trust nothing, therefore, will ever be attempted in preventing these good people from going at large, on account not less of these pleasing souvenirs, than of the positive advantage derived from their undisputed possession of the pavement. All gives way before them. I have seen one of them penetrate the phalanx of Jews and Gentiles, coachmen and cads, at the White Horse Cellar, with as much ease as the Telamonian Ajax would have cleft a column of Trojans, with

* When Candid arrived at Portsmouth, he saw an officer of distinction (poor Byng) with his eyes bandaged—“ qu'on alloit fusiller avec beaucoup de ceremonie pour encourager les autres.'

↑ ai ai aï aï

[blocks in formation]
[blocks in formation]

And yet how often, when I lodged at the shoemaker's, on the sunny or plebeian side of Berkeley-square, have I been obliged to endure the " crescente," or "diminuente" of 66 many a winding bout of linked sweetness, always executed on the long side of that pleasant parallelogram! Although, as I was inducted into a great deal of local knowledge while I dwelt in that situation, I should be rather grateful than otherwise. It was there that I began to attend to the harmony and expressiveness of the various knockings or pulsations of which a street-door is susceptible. I shall say a word or two on this subject, as there are no knockers across the Channel.Quanquam animus meminisse horret -incipiam.”—These instruments, like mortars, are made of bronze or cast iron; and as they are of various calibres, they can, of course, project sound to various distances. A discharge of this kind in Grosvenor-square, when the wind is favourable, will frequently startle the deer in the Park, ruffle the water of the Serpentine, and vibrate in the alcoves of Kensington.†

I also conceive that there is already room, even in the present imperfect "state of the science," for distinguishing the different kinds of performance on this instrument, by an adequate nomenclature.

I would divide knocks, for the present, into, 1. Hesitating or submissive. These are usually performed by thin pale-looking persons with folded papers in their hands." Could I speak for a moment to the lady?" 2. Importunate or expostulating, performed by tradesmen.-" Did you tell Mr A. I called twice last week? When will he be at home?" 3. Confident or friendly." Well, John, is your master at home?" 4. Alarming or

fashionable. These are preceded by the short sharp stop of a carriage, generally of the barouche kind, and are followed by the sound of many feet in kid slippers on the staircase. Of single knocks I say nothing-ex uno disce omnes-there is no eloquence in them. The postman and the taxgatherer's knock of office, expresses the impatience of authority very intelligibly; and the knock domestic, your own knock, makes everybody I hope glad, and stirs up the spaniel from the hearth-rug. I have not leisure to notice the interesting association of bells and knockers into one compound instrument of considerably increased power, but at some future time I may probably favour the world with a small volume, entitled, " Tuptologia" (Keraunologia would be better still), with plates of the various kinds of knockers, and directions for their use. In fashionable streets, (sit obiter dictum,) the knockers ought to be of silver, the only objection to which is, that (notwithstanding the marvellous effects of education) they would occasionally be stolen.

I subjoin the following Table, in which I have availed myself of the language of science, to shew merely of what nicety the subject is susceptible.

Synopsis των Κρουσίων. 1. Hypocrousis.—A modest timid inaudible knock.

2. Monocrousis.-The plain single knock of a tradesman coming for orders.

3. Dicrousis.-The postman and taxgather.

4. Tricrousis.-The attempt of the same tradesman to express his impatience, and compel payment of his bill; he will not submit to the single knock any longer, and dares not venture on the following.

5. Tetracrousis.-Your own knock; my own knock; a gentleman's knock.

6. Pollacrousis, or Keraunos.- A succession of repeated impulses of different degrees of force, ending in three

The classical reader ought not to be incredulous; he recollects the blast of Alecto was heard at Narni.

Audiit et Triviæ longe lacus, audiit amnis

Sulfurea Nar albus aqua, fontesque Velini.

"Thy springs, Velinus, caught the sound afar,
And Trivia's distant lake, and livid Nar."

Why should not the Serpentine have as good ears as the Nar?
VOL. XV.

N

or four of alarming emphasis→→vulgo a footman's knock, a thundering knock, &c. &c. &c.

In order to complete the little sketch that I proposed to give of the impres sions which a return to London makes upon the senses, I now add a few miscellaneous remarks.

The climate and atmosphere of London is not only extremely salutary and contributive to the longevity of blind men, and other mendicants, but it is astonishingly favourable to that of fish, which, however deprived of their natural element, remain alive for a very considerable time. Cod, soles, and flounders, in London, are always "alive!" and living sprats are vended in myriads! The tenacity of life of some of these animals is so obstinate, that there is reason to believe they continue to live for several days together. It might be interesting to mark the tail of a particular individual, in order to learn how long he continues in this state of disagree able existence. Salmon and herring, I observe, are only announced as being fresh, that is, recently dead. I looked out of my window one day on a basket of lobsters, which the proprietor declared to be alive; a peculiar species, I presume, for they were of that fine coral colour which this animal usually assumes when boiled.

In the early spring, among many little elegant local customs, this is one: That as you take a morning walk in the green park, you meet several young women, who extend a bunch of matches to the immediate vicinity of your nose, with as much confidence as if they were primroses. These flowers of Brimstone are the first vernal productions of the Flora Londinensis; they are not presented quite in so win ning a way as the violets, that are thrown at you in the palais royal; but I have no doubt, that the bouquet, on the whole, is a wholseome one, and very probably useful as a prophylactic. To persons of classical mind, this offering of matches," Sulfura cum

tædis," will suggest the Lustrations of the ancients; though to others, of an irritable fibre, or uneasy conscience, I should be apprehensive that it might excite disagreeable reflections. Vide Giovanni, scene last. The usual impediments to accelerate motion continue, I find, to occur in various parts of the town. At the corner of Durham Street, on a rainy day, I think I may promise you a pause of about ten minutes, (which, if you don't employ in some profitable manner as the pickpockets do-it is your own fault,) under a Testudo of wet silk and gingham, after the fashion of that plexus of shields, under which, to say nothing of the ancient warfare, Il pio Goddofredo got possession of Jerusalem.*

Often, too, when you are most in a hurry, you will attend the passage of the same procession (a train of coal waggons, six in number, with six horses each!) in long diagonal from the end of the Haymarket, to Marybone Street, cutting off parties of light and heavy armed, impetuously facing each other. These at Weeks's museum, and Those at Eggs' the gun-makers-I have seen a great many manœuvres practised on those occasions, but the coal waggons have always the best of it.

Such are the Trivial hinderances to the pedestrian in London. On such an ample theme it is difficult to desist ; but troppo e troppo; I shall just run over the heads of my notes, and have done.-Walk into the city more pleasant than formerly-pavements wider, especially about Colnaghi's-houses down-more coming-(multa cecidera cadentque) whole of city more healthy than formerly-ruddy nurserymaids (id genus omne interesting) and fine children-young cockneys grow taller-College of Physicians, removal of-how connected with foregoing re marks cause or consequence ?-interesting question, but delicate-Bakers great admirers of the fine arts, stand at print shops-position of their Basket on those occasions-thrown on the back like the clypeus of a hero in re

Giunsersi tutti seco a questo detto
Tutti gli scudi alzar sovra la testa
E gli unirou cosi, che ferreo tetto
Facean contra l'orribile tempesta:
E la soda Testuggine sostiene
Cio che di ruinoso in giu ne viene.

GIERUSAL. c. 18.

« ZurückWeiter »