Sly. What, would you make me mad? Am not I Christopher Sly, old Sly's son of Burton-heath; by birth a pedlar, by education a card-maker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat alewife of Wincot, if she know me not: if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me up for the lyingest knave in Christendom. What, I am not bestraught: Here's 1 Serv. O, this it is that makes your lady mourn. 2 Serv. O, this it is that makes your servants droop. Lord. Hence comes it that your kindred shun your house, As beaten hence by your strange lunacy. [Musick. And twenty caged nightingales do sing : Say, thou wilt walk: we will bestrew the ground: soar Above the morning lark: Or wilt thou hunt? Thy hounds shall make the welkin answer them, And fetch shrill echoes from the hollow earth. 1 Serv. Say, thou wilt course; thy greyhounds are as swift As breathed stags, ay, fleeter than the roe. 2 Serv. Dost thou love pictures? we will fetch thee straight Adonis, painted by a running brook : Which seem to move and wanton with her breath, Lord. We'll show thee Io, as she was a maid; And how she was beguiled and surpriz'd, As lively painted as the deed was done. 3 Serv. Or Daphne, roaming through a thorny wood; Scratching her legs that one shall swear she bleeds: Lord. Thou art a lord, and nothing but a lord: Thou hast a lady far more beautiful Than any woman in this waning age. O, how we joy to see your wit restor❜d! 1 Serv. O, yes, my lord; but very idle words: For though you lay here in this goodly chamber, Yet would you say, ye were beaten out of door; And rail upon the hostess of the house; And say, you would present her at the leet, Because she brought stone jugs and no seal'd quarts: Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket. Sly. Ay, the woman's maid of the house. 3 Serv. Why, sir, you know no house, nor no such maid; Nor no such men, as you have reckon'd up,- And twenty more such names and men as these, Sly. Now, Lord be thanked for my good amends! Sly. I thank thee; thou shalt not lose by it. Enter the Page, as a lady, with Attendants. Page. How fares my noble lord? Sly. Marry, I fare well; for here is cheer enough. Where is my wife? Page. Here, noble lord; What is thy will with her? Madam, undress you, and come now to bed. 1 Serv. And, till the tears that she hath shed for In peril to incur your former malady, thee, Like envious floods o'er-ran her lovely face, Sly. Am I a lord? and have I such a lady? "Servants present an ewer, bason, and napkin. And frame your mind to nurth and merriment, Which bars a thousand harms, and lengthens life. Sly. Marry, I will; let them play it: Is not a commonty a Christmas gambol, or a tumblingtrick? Page. No, my good lord: it is more pleasing stuff. Sly. What, houshold stuff? Sly. Well, we'll see't: Come, madam wife, sit by my side, and let the world slip; we shall ne'er be younger. [They sit down. SCENE I. Padua. A publick Place. Enter LUCENTIO and TRANIO. ACT I. Luc. Tranio, since for the great desire I had And, by my father's love and leave, am arm'd A merchant of great traffick through the world, Tra. Mi perdonate, gentle master mine, Glad that you thus continue your resolve, Luc. Gramercies, Tranio, well dost thou advise. If, Biondello, thou wert come ashore, Tra. Master, some show, to welcome us to town. If either of you both love Katharina, me: There, there Hortensio, will you any wife? Kath. I pray you, sir, [to BAP.] is it your will To make a stale of me amongst these mates? Hor. Mates, maid! how mean you that? no mates for you, Unless you were of gentler, milder mould. Kath. I'faith, sir, you shall never need to fear; I wis, it is not half way to her heart : But, if it were, doubt not her care should be To comb your noddle with a three-legg'd stool, And paint your face, and use you like a fool. Hor. From all such devils, good Lord, deliver us! Gre. And me too, good Lord! Tra. Hush, master! here is some good pastime toward; That wench is stark mad, or wonderful froward. Peace, Tranio. Kath. A pretty peat! 'tis best Put finger in the eye -an she knew why. ; Bian. Sister, content you in my discontent. Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe: My books, and instruments, shall be my company; On them to look, and practise by myself. Luc. Hark, Tranio! thou may'st hear Minerva speak. [Aside. Hor. Signior Baptista, will you be so strange? Sorry am I, that our good will effects Bianca's grief. Gre. And for I know, she taketh most delight To mine own children in good bringing-up; For I have more to commune with Bianca. [Exit. not? her sister Began to scold; and raise up such a storm, What, shall I be appointed hours; as though, belike, | That made great Jove to humble him to her hand, I knew not what to take, and what to leave! Ha! When with his knees he kiss'd the Cretan strand. [Exit. Tra. Saw you no more? mark'd you not, how Gre. You may go to the devil's dam; your gifts are so good, here is none will hold you. Their love is not so great, Hortensio, but we may blow our nails together, and fast it fairly out; our cake's dough on both sides. Farewell :-Yet, for the love I bear my sweet Bianca, if I can by any means light on a fit man, to teach her that wherein she delights, I will wish him to her father? Gre. What's that, I pray ? Hor. Marry, sir, to get a husband for her sister. Gre. I say, a devil: Think'st thou, Hortensio, though her father be very rich, any man is so very a fool to be married to hell? Hor. Tush, Gremio, though it pass your patience and mine, to endure her loud alarums, why, man, there be good fellows in the world, an a man coud light on them, would take her with all faults, and money enough. Gre. I cannot tell; but I had as lief take her dowry with this condition, to be whipped at the high-cross every morning. Hor. 'Faith, as you say, there's small choice in rotten apples. But, come; since this bar in law makes us friends, it shall be so far forth friendly maintained, till by helping Baptista's eldest daughter to a husband, we set his youngest free for a husband, and then have to't afresh. Sweet Bianca! Happy man be his dole! He that runs fastest, gets the ring. How say you, signior Gremio? Gre. I am agreed: and 'would I had given him the best horse in Padua to begin his wooing, that would thoroughly woo her, wed her, and bed her, and rid the house of her. Come on. [Exeunt GREMIO and HORTENSIO. Tra. [Advancing.] I pray, sir, tell me, possible That love should of a sudden take such hold? Luc. O Tranio, till I found it to be true, I never thought it possible, or likely; Tra. Master, it is no time to chide you now; Is it Luc. Tranio, I saw her coral lips to move, And with her breath she did perfume the air; Sacred, and sweet, was all I saw in her. Tra. Nay, then, 'tis time to stir him from his trance. Her eldest sister is so curst and shrewd, Luc. Ah, Tranio, what a cruel father's he! Tra. Master, for my hand, Both our inventions meet and jump in one. You will be schoolmaster, Luc. Basta; content thee; for I have it full. Because so well I love Lucentio. Luc. Tranio, be so, because Lucentio loves : Enter BIONDELLO. Here comes the rogue. Sirrah, where have you been? Bion. Where have I been? Nay, how now, where Master, has my fellow Tranio stol'n your clothes? Sufficeth, my reasons are both good and weighty. 1 Serv. My lord, you nod; you do not mind the Sly. Yes, by saint Anne, do I. A good matter, surely; Comes there any more of it? Page. My lord, 'tis but begun. Pet. Such wind as scatters young men through To seek their fortunes further than at home, And I have thrust myself into this maze, Sly. 'Tis a very excellent piece of work, madam Haply to wive, and thrive, as best I may : lady; 'Would 'twere done! SCENE II. The same. House. Before Hortensio's Enter PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO. Pet. Verona, for a while I take my leave, To see my friends in Padua ; but, of all, My best beloved and approved friend, Hortensio ; and, I trow, this is his house: Here, sirrah Grumio; knock, I say. Gru. Knock, sir! whom should I knock? is there any man has rebused your worship? Crowns in my purse I have, and goods at home, Hor. Petruchio, shall I then come roundly And wish thee to a shrew'd ill-favour'd wife? Pet. Signior Hortensio, 'twixt such friends as we, Gru. Knock you here, sir? why, sir, what am I, As old as Sybil, and as curst and shrewd sir, that I should knock you here, sir? Pet. Villain, I say, knock me at this gate, And then I know after who comes by the worst. 'Faith, sirrah, an you'll not knock, I'll wring it; [He wrings GRUMIO by the ears. Gru. Help, masters, help! my master is mad. Pet. Now, knock when I bid you: sirrah! villain ! As Socrates' Xantippe, or a worse, Gru. Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is. Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet, or an aglet-baby; or an old trot with ne'er a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases as two and fifty horses: why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal. Hor. Petruchio, since we have stepped thus far I will continue that I broach'd in jest. And shrewd, and froward: so beyond all measure, I would not wed her for a mine of gold. Pet. Hortensio, peace; thou know'st not gold's | As firmly as yourself ere still in place: effect: Tell me her father's name, and 'tis enough; Pet. I know her father, though I know not her; Gru. I pray you, sir, let him go while the humour lasts. O' my word, an she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him: She may, perhaps, call him half a score knaves, or so why, that's nothing; an he begin once, he'll rail in his rope-tricks. I'll tell you what, sir, -an she stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in her face, and so disfigure her with it, that she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat: You know him not, sir. Hor. Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee; A title for a maid, of all titles the worst. Hor. Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace; And offer me, disguis'd in sober robes, Gru. Here's no knavery! See; to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together! Master, master, look about you: Who goes there? ha! Hor. Peace, Grumio; 'tis the rival of my love: - Petruchio, stand by a while. Gru. A proper stripling, and an amorous! [They retire. Gre. O, very well: I have perus'd the note. Hark you, sir; I'll have them very fairly bound: All books of love, see that at any hand; And see you read no other lectures to her: You understand me: - · Over and beside Signior Baptista's liberality, I'll mend it with a largess : Take your papers too, And, by good fortune, I have lighted well Gru. Hor. prove : and that my deeds shall And that his bags shall prove. [Aside. Gremio, 'tis now no time to vent our love; Listen to me, and if you speak me fair, Pet. I know, she is an irksome brawling scold; If that be all, masters, I hear no harm. Gre. No, say'st me so, friend? What countryman? Pet. Born in Verona, old Antonio's son: My father dead, my fortune lives for me; And I do hope good days, and long, to see. Gre. O, sir, such a life, with such a wife, were [Aside. Pet. Why came I hither, but to that intent? Think you, a little din can daunt mine ears; Have I not in my time heard lions roar? Have I not heard the sea, puff"'d up with winds, Rage like an angry boar, chafed with sweat? Have I not heard great ordnance in the field, And heaven's artillery thunder in the skies? Have I not in a pitched battle heard Loud 'larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets' clang? And do you tell me of a woman's tongue; That gives not half so great a blow to the ear, As will a chesnut in a farmer's fire? Tush! tush! fear boys with bugs. Gru. Gre. Hortensio, hark! This gentleman is happily arriv'd, For he fears none. [Aside My mind presumes, for his own good, and yours. Hor. I promis'd, we would be contributors, And bear his charge of wooing, whatsoe'er. S |