Street, while the autumnal moon shone with uncommon lustre, her friend could not help expressing her admiration of the resplendent orb of night, when the Cockney dryly remark'd, “'Tis pretty well for a ScоTCH MOON !" VOLUNTEER COURAGE. In an Edinburgh newspaper, of the 9th of July, 1796, was the following paragraph: "An indictment has been preferred before the sheriff against a breeches-maker, for a violent assault on three of the Royal Edinburgh Volunteers." GENTEEL LIVING. When Foote came first to Scotland, he enquired of an old Highlander, who had formerly been prompter to the Edinburgh theatre, about the state of the country, with respect to travelling, living, manners, &c, concerning all of which the man gave him very favourable accounts." Why then," said Foote, "With about £300 a year, one may live like a gentleman in this country."" In troth, Master Foote," replied the old prompter, "I canna tell ye that, for I ne'er kend a man here wha spent the haf o' that sum, an' I dinna ken what may come into ony body's head wha wad attempt to squander the hale o't." } READING OFF THE BOOK. A country clergyman, on the north side of the Forth, who had a most praise-worthy zeal for true religion, used to entertain his parishioners with reading declamations against blasphemy, radicalism, and demoralization, from written scrawls, which he dignified with the name of sermons. This reverend gentleman had also a most pious abborrence of lasciviousness and adultry, when committed by such females as are not under the protection of great personages; but when the great personages themselves chuse to indulge these propensities, the sin becomes in that case quite venial. At the acquittal of the late Queen, the inhabitants of the village he lived in, resolved on an illumination, like their neighbours, in honour of that event, and the bellman was sent round with an intimation, announcing their intention. In the course of his perambulations, John stopped opposite the manse, and read his proclamation. The news of a radical illumination in the parish alarmed the minister to a terrible degree, when out he ran, crying, "Stop, John stop, John! wha bade ye cry that, ye sidna cry that, John."-" Indeed, Sir," says John, "I'H joost cry what I'm paid for, an' ne'er speer wha gies me the paper." The minister seeing that no good was to be done in this way, makes up to John, and snatches the paper from him, and ran off." "Hoot man," cries John, "Ye needna rin sae fast, tho' ye canna tell your story wantin' ye're paper, do ye think I canna do't wantin' mine." THE WAY TO MAKE A TESTAMENT. An old beggar man, named John, who used some time ago to travel in the neighbourhood of Stonehaven, was one day sitting on a stone at a gentleman's gate in the vicinity of that town, when one Robert Jamieson, a travelling chapman, and old acquaintance of John's, coming that way, said to him, "Weel, John, is this you? How are ye fendin'? Hae ye been in at the laird's house yet?" “Na, na,” replied the old beggar, "We're a' debar'd frae gaen there, nae puir bodies like me dare be seen sin' the young laird cam on.”— "Waes me, John," says Rabie," But I'm thinking ye're mair fear'd than hurt, for I'm sure there's nae a gentle. man in a' the kintra that kens ye, wad hinder ye frae ca'ing at their house; I'm joost gaen in to see what's needed, an' I'll let ye ken how I come on." So forward Rabie goes, and meeting the laird on the stair, thus accosted him: " Gude day to your honour, I'm tald that ye hae prohibited puir fouk frae ca'ing at the house."" Aye, Rabie,” replied the laird, Randy beggars an' vagrants, but no the like o' you, that we ken to be an honest man, an' gaen gaen about your lawfu' business." So into the house Rabie goes, where he sold some of his goods; and, on returning, found his friend John at the "Weel, Rabie," says John, place he left him. - « How hae ye far'd at the laird's ?"-"Oh," replied Rabie, "I was received unco kindly, I sell'd a few things, sae I think ye'll be weel used tae." So they parted, and John having gathered courage from the representations of Rabie, sets forward, and finding the laird before the house, he accosted him with a "Gude day to your honour, I hope ye're nae offended at my ca'ing at the house.""Na, na, John," replied the laird, "What's been the matter wi ye, that we hinna seen ye this lang an' mony a day, we thought ye'd been dead ?" Indeed, Sir," says John, "I'm auld an' unco frail, an' canna live lang; but that's no a', in ye're honour's father's time, I was here aften enough, but I was tald that ye're honour had forbidden a' puir bodies like me to come within the yett."-Na, na," rejoined the laird, "No a puir worthy honest auld man like you, John." He had by this time got an inkling that John was not so poor as he peep'd, but had some of the precious metal concealed about his rags. "It is indeed a shame, that an honest auld man like you, has not found a resting place for frailty and old age before this time."-" Ah, please your honour," replied John, "The rich hae mony friends; but what can an auld bodie like me expect, but to wander about till I die. Weel, John," quoth the laird, “Gin ye like to stay wì' us, I shall gie ye a bit room to bide in ; an' your bit pick o' meat, whilk ill no be very muckle, I shall order ye that frae the kitchen.” To this proposal John acceeded with great cheerfulness, and took immediate possession of the pre mises, so that matters went on very well, when one morning the laird looked in to see the auld man, and found him breathing his last. At this premature death of the beggar, the laird began to regret that he had not got him to make a will in his favour; so while he was musing how to act, who should appear but the packman, Rabie Jamie, son, whom the laird accosted, "Ah, dear me, Rabie, isna auld John joost e'en now dead, an' am thinkin' he's worth some siller, an' he's made nae settlement o' his affairs; now, Rabie, ye're a gay auld farren chiel, how do ye think I should act in this case?"-Ah," says Rabie, "Ye're honour kens far better how to behave yersel' than I can advise; but an I war to act or be trusted in the matter, get a notary from Stonehaven, an' I will tak John's place in the bed, an' mak a testament to please ye." This being agreed upon, Rabie goes into the beggar's apartment, lifts the corps out of the bed, and laid them underneath; and having equipped himself in the pauper's habiliments, lay down in the bed till the arrival of the notary. When being seated, the laird addressed the supposed mendicant, "Weel, John, by all appearance, ye're gaeing to pay the debt o' nature, as we must all do, but for the sake of order, and for avoiding a' disputes, I think ye shou'd tell this gentleman what little property ye're possessed of, an' how ye mean to dispose o't."-"O! Sir," says the pretended John, "Gude kens my thoughts shou'd be employed about ither matters, but in obedience to your honour's desire, I'll do what I |