But to my tale: a month scarce pass'd away, With dance and song we kept the nuptial day : All I possess'd I gave to his command,
My goods and chattels, money, house, and land: But oft repented, and repent it still:
He proved a rebel to my sovereign will:
Nay, once, by Heaven! he struck me on the
Hear but the fact, and judge, yourselves, the
Stubborn as any lioness was I,
And knew full well to raise my voice on high:
As true a rambler as I was before;
And would be so, in spite of all he swore :
He, against this, right sagely would advise,
And old examples set before my eyes;
Tell, how the Roman matrons led their life,
Of Gracchus' mother, and Duilius' wife;
And close the sermon, as beseem'd his wit,
With some grave sentence out of holy writ.
Oft would he say, who builds his house on sands,
Pricks his blind horse across the fallow lands;
Or lets his wife abroad with pilgrims roam,
Deserves a fool's cap, and long ears at home. 350
All this avail'd not; for, whoe'er he be
That tells my faults, I hate him mortally:
And so do numbers more, I'll boldly say,
Men, women, clergy, regular and lay.
My spouse, who was, you know, to learning bred,
A certain treatise oft at evening read,
Where divers authors, whom the devil confound
For all their lies! were in one volume bound:
Valerius, whole; and of St. Jerome, part;
Chrysippus and Tertullian, Ovid's Art,
Solomon's Proverbs, Eloisa's loves,
And many more than sure the church approves.
More legends were there, here, of wicked wives,
Than good, in all the Bible and Saints' Lives.
Who drew the lion vanquish'd? 'Twas a man: 365
But could we women write as scholars can,
Men should stand mark'd with far more wicked-
Than all the sons of Adam could redress.
Love seldom haunts the breast where learning
And Venus sets, ere Mercury can rise.
Those play the scholars who can't play the men;
And use that weapon which they have, their pen :
When old, and past the relish of delight,
Then down they sit, and in their dotage write,
That not one woman keeps her marriage-vow. 375
This by the way; but to my purpose now.
It chanced, my husband, on a winter's night, Read in this book aloud with strange delight; How the first female, as the Scriptures show, Brought her own spouse and all his race to wo: How Samson fell; and he, whom Dejanire Wrapp'd in the envenom'd shirt, and set on fire: How cursed Eryphile her lord betray'd; And the dire ambush Clytemnestra laid: But what most pleased him was the Cretan dame,
And husband-bull-O, monstrous! fie for shame! He had by heart, the whole detail of wo, Xantippe made her good man undergo;
How oft she scolded in a day, he knew:
How many piss-pots on the sage she threw ;
Who took it patiently, and wiped his head;
'Rain follows thunder:' that was all he said.
He read, how Arius to his friend complain'd, A fatal tree was growing in his land,
On which three wives successively had twined
A sliding noose, and waver'd in the wind.
Where grows this plant?' replied the friend;
· O, where?
For better fruit did never orchard bear.
Give me some slip of this most blissful tree,
And in my garden planted shall it be.'
Then, how two wives their lords' destruction
Through hatred one, and one through too much love;
That for her husband mixed a poisonous draught,
And this for lust an amorous philtre bought:
The nimble juice soon seized his giddy head, 405
Frantic at night, and in the morning dead :
How some with swords their sleeping lords have
slain,
And some have hammer'd nails into their brain ; And some have drench'd them with a deadly potion :
All this he read, and read with great devotion. 410 Long time I heard, and swell'd, and blush'd, and frown'd;
But when no end of these vile tales I found; When still he read, and laugh'd, and read again,
And half the night was thus consumed in vain ;—
Provoked to vengeance, three large leaves I tore,
And with one buffet fell'd him on the floor.
With that, my husband in a fury rose,
And down he settled me with hearty blows.
I groan'd, and lay extended on my side:
'O, thou hast slain me for my wealth,' I cried:
'Yet I forgive thee: take my last embrace.'
He wept, kind soul! and stoop'd to kiss my face.
I took him such a box as turn'd him blue;
Then sigh'd, and cried,—' Adieu, my dear, adieu!'
But, after many a hearty struggle past,
I condescended to be pleased at last.
Soon as he said,- My mistress and my wife,
Do what you list, the term of all your life;'
I took to heart the merits of the cause,
And stood content to rule by wholesome laws; 430 Received the reins of absolute command,
With all the government of house and land,
And empire o'er his tongue, and o'er his hand.
As for the volume that reviled the dames,
'Twas torn to fragments, and condemn'd to flames.
Now Heaven, on all my husbands gone, bestow
Pleasures above for tortures felt below:
That rest they wish'd for, grant them in the
And bless those souls my conduct help'd to save!
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