CHA P. XIII.

A Project for the Advancement of the

TH

Bathos.

HUS have I (my dear Countrymen) with incredible pains and diligence, discovered the hidden fources of the Bathos, or, as I may fay, broke open the Abyffes of this Great Deep. And having now established good and wholesome Laws, what remains but that all true moderns with their utmoft might do proceed to put the fame in execution? In order whereto, I think I shall in the second place highly deserve of my Country, by propofing such a Scheme, as may facilitate this great end.

As our Number is confeffedly far fuperior to that of the enemy, there feems nothing wanting but Unanimity among ourselves. It is therefore humbly offered, that all and every individual of the Bathos do enter into a firm afsociation, and incorporate into One regular Body, whereof every member, even the meaneft, will fome way contribute to the support of the whole; in like manner, as the weakeft reeds, when joined in one bundle, become infrangible. To which end our Art ought to be put upon the fame foot with other Arts of this age. The vast improvement of mo

fers mit fr their being dividtrace, nd prolled out to feveris: Fr Minen. in Clock-making one pas die buite, under te bring,-anode comovies & fort de cue, and the warm pus all together: To this ceco

we are the person of our modern mes, md fourdles we all might that of our modern Fiery and Rhetoric, were the feveral pars branched set in the like manner.

Nothing is more evident than that divers perfies, Do omer way remarkable, have each a ftrong Epollon to the formation of some particular Trope or Figure. Abude tith, that the Hyperhe's an omament it for young Men of Quality; accordingly we and in thole Gentlemen a wonderfill propenity to ord which is marvelloutly improved by Trevelling: Soldiers alto and Seamen are very happy in the time Figure. The Peripirajo ce Coromination is the peculiar talent of Country Farmers; the Proverb and Apdligue of old. Men at their clubs; the Eligi or Speech by half words, of Ministers and Politicians, the Apofpes of Courtiers, the Littes or Diminution of Ladies, Whiperers and Backbiters, and the Anadiplots of common Cryers and Hawkers, who, by redoubling the fame words, perfuade people to buy their oyiters, green haftings, or new ballads. Epithets may be found in great plenty at Billinf

Sarcafm and Irony learned upon the Water,

and the Epiphonema or Exclamation · frequently from the Beargarden, and as frequently from the Hear him of the House of Commons.

No each man applying his whole time and genius upon his particular Figure, would doubtless attain to perfection; and when each became incorporated and fworn into the Society (as hath been proposed) a Poet or Orator would have no more to do but to fend to the particular Traders in each Kind, to the Metaphorift for his Allegories, to the Simile-maker for his Comparisons, to the Ironift for his Sarcasms, to the Apothegmatift for his Sentences, etc. whereby a Dedication or Speech would be composed in a moment, the fuperior artift having nothing to do but to put together all the Materials.

I therefore propose that there be contrived with all convenient difpatch, at the publick expence, a Rhetorical Chest of Drawers, confifting of three Stories, the highest for the Deliberative, the middle for the Demonftrative, and the loweft for the Judicial. Thefe fhall be divided into Loci, or Places, being repofitories for Matter and Argument in the several kinds of oration or writing; and every Drawer shall again be fub-divided into Cells, resembling those of Cabinets for Rarities. The apartment for Peace or War, and that of the Liberty of the Prefs, may in a very few days be filled with feveral arguments perfectly new; and the Vituperative Partition will as cafily be reple

nished with a moft choice collection, entirely of the growth and manufacture of the prefent age. Every compofer will foon be taught the use of this Cabinet, and how to manage all the Registers of it, which will be drawn out much in the manner of thofe in an Organ.

The Keys of it must be kept in honest hands, by fome Reverend Prelate, or Valiant Officer, of unqueftioned Loyalty and Affection to every prefent Establishment in Church and State; which will fufficiently guard against any mischief which might otherwise be apprehended from it.

And being lodged in fuch hands, it may be at difcretion let out by the Day, to feveral great Orators in both Houses; from whence it is to be hoped much Profit and Gain will also accrue to our Society.

CHA P. XIV.

How to make Dedications, Panegyrics, or Satires, and of the Colours of Honourable and Dishonourable.

Now

OW of what ncceffity the foregoing Project may prove, will appear from this fingle confideration, that nothing is of equal confequence to the fuccefs of our Works, as Speed and

Dispatch. Great pity it is, that folid brains are not like other solid bodies, constantly endowed with a velocity in finking, proportioned to their heavinefs: For it is with the Flowers of the Bathos as with those of Nature, which if the careful gardener brings not haftily to market in the Morning, muft unprofitably perifh and wither before Night. And of all our Productions none is fo fhort-lived as the Dedication and Panegyric, which are often but the Praife of a Day, and become by the next, utterly useless, improper, indecent, and false. This is the more to be lamented, inafmuch as these two are the forts whereon in a manner depends that Profit, which muft ftill be remembered to be the main end of our Writers and Speakers.

We shall therefore employ this chapter in fhew-. ing the quickest method of compofing them; after which we will teach a fhort Way to Epic Poetry. And these being confeffedly the works of moft Importance and Difficulty, it is presumed we may leave the reft to each author's own learning or practice.

First of Panegyric: Every man is honourable, who is fo by Law, Cuftom, or Title. The Publick are better judges of what is honourable than private Men. The Virtues of great Men, like those of Plants, are inherent in them whether they are exerted or not; and the more ftrongly inherent, the less they are exerted; as a Man is the