commendable. A decent behaviour and appearance at church is what charms me, We fhould be devout and humble, chearful and ferene." Yes, cried fhe, I know that; but I mean we should go there in as proper a manner as poffible, not altogether like the fcrubs about us.'You are quite right, my dear,' returned I, and I was going to make the very fame propofal. The proper manner of going is, to go there as early as poffible, to have time for meditation before the fervice begins.' Phoo, Charles,' interrupted the, all this is very true; but not what I would be at. I mean, we should go there genteelly. You know the church is two miles off, and I test I don't like to fee my daughters trudging up to their pew all blowzed and red with walking, and looking for all the world as if they had been ❝ winners at a smock race. pro Now, iny dear, my propofal is this: there are our two plough horfes, the colt that has been in our family thefe nine years, and his companion Blackberry, that has scarce done an earthly thing for this month paft. They are both grown fat and lazy. Why fhould they not do fomething as well we? And let me tell you, when Mofes has trimmed them a little, they will cut a very tolerable figure.' To this propofal I objected, that walking would be twenty times more genteel than fuch a paltry conveyance, as Blackberry was wall-eyed, and the colt wanted a tail: that they had never been broke to the rein; but had an hundred vicious tricks; and that we had but one faddle and pillion in the whole house. All these objections however were over-ruled: fo that I was obliged to comply, The next morning I perceived them not a little bufy in collecting fuch materials as might be neceffary for the expedition; I found it would be a bufinefs of time, I walked on to the church before, and they promifed fpeedily to follow. I waited near an hour in the reading-desk for their arrival; but not finding them come as expected, I was obliged to begin, and went through. the fervice, not without fome uneafinefs at finding them abfent. This was encreafed when all was finished, and no appearance of the family. I therefore. but as walked back by the horfe-way, which was five miles round, though the footway was but two, and when got about half way home, perceived the proceffion marching flowly forward towards the church; my fon, my wife, and the two little ones exalted upon one horse, and my two daughters upon the other. demanded the caufe of their delay; but I foon found by their looks they had met with a thoufand misfortunes on the road. The horfes had at firft refufed to move from the door, till Mr. Burchell was kind enough to beat them forward for about two hundred yards with his cudgel. Next the straps of my wife's pillion broke down, and they were obliged to ftop to repair them before they could proceed. After that, one of the horfes took it into his head to ftand ftill, and neither blows nor entreaties could prevail with him to proceed. It was juft recovering from this difinal fituation that I found them; but perceiving every thing fafe, I own their prefent mortification did not much difpleafe me, as it would give me many opportunities of future triumph, and teach my daughters more humility. CHAP. XI. THE FAMILY STILL RESOLVE TO HOLD UP THEIR HEADS. M [ICHAELMAS eye happening on the next day, we were in vited to burn nuts and play tricks at neighbour Flamborough's. Our late mortifications had humbled us a little, or it is probable we might have rejected fuch an invitation with contempt; however, we fuffered ourselves to be happy. Our honeft neighbour's goofe and dumplings were fine; and the lamb's wool, even in the opinion of my wife, who was a connoiffeur, was excellent. It is true, his manner of telling ftories was not quite fo well. They were very long, and very dull, and all about himself, and we had laughed at them ten times before: however, we were kind enough to laugh at them once more. Mr. Burchell, who was of the party, was always fond of seeing fome innocent amusement going forward, and set the boys and girls to blind man's buff. My wife too was perfuaded to join in the the diversion, and it gave me pleafure to think she was not yet too old. In the mean time, my neighbour and I looked on, laughed at every feat, and praised our own dexterity when we were young. Hot cockles fucceeded next, queftions and commands followed that, and laft of all, they fat down to hunt the flipper. As every perfon may not be acquainted with this primæval paftime, it may be neceffary to observe, that the company at this play plant themselves in a ring upon the ground, all except one who ftands in the middle, whose business is to catch a fhoe, which the company fhove about under their hams from one to another, fomething like a weaver's fhuttle. As it is impoffible, in this cafe, for the lady who is up to face all the company at once, the great beauty of the play lies in hitting her a thump with the heel of the fhoe on that fide least capable of making defence. It was in this manner that my eldest daughter was hemmed in and thumped about, all blowzed, in fpirits, and bawling for fair play, with a voice that might deafen a ballad-finger; when, confufion on confufion, who should enter the room but our two great acquaintances from town, Lady Blarney and Mifs Carolina Wilelmina Amelia Skeggs! Defcription would but beggar, therefore it is unneceffary to defcribe this new mortification. Death! to be feen by ladies of fuch high breeding in fuch vulgar attitudes! Nothing better could enfue from fuch a vulgar play of Mr. Flamborough's propofing. We feemed ftruck to the ground for fome time, as if actually petrified with amazement. The two ladies had been at our house to fee us, and finding us from home, came after us hither, as they were uneafy to know what accident could have kept us from church the day before. Olivia undertook to be our prolocutor, and delivered the whole in a fummary way, only faying, 'We were thrown from our horfes.' At which account the ladies were greatly concerned; but being told the family received no hurt, they were extremely glad: but being informed that we were almoft killed by the fright, they were vaftly forry; but hearing that we had a very good night, they were extremely glad again. Nothing could exceed their complaifance to my daughters; their profeffions the laft evening were warm, but now they were ardent. They protefted a defire of having a more lasting acquaintance. Lady Blarney was particularly attached to Olivia; Mifs Carolina Wilelmina Amelia Skeggs (I love to give the whole name) took a greater fancy to her fifter. They fupported the converfation between themselves, while my daughters fate filent, admiring their exalted breeding. But as every reader, however beggarly himself, is fond of high-lived dia- . logues, with anecdotes of lords, ladies, and knights of the garter, I must beg leave to give him the concluding part of the present conversation. All that I know of the matter,' cries Mrs. Skeggs, is this, that it may be true, or it may not be true : but this I can affure your ladyship, that the whole rout was in amaze; his lordship turned all manner of co'lours, my lady fell into a fwoon; but Sir Tomkyn, drawing his fword, fwore he was her's to the laft drop of 'his blood.' • Well,' replied our peerefs, this I can fay, that the duchefs never told me a syllable of the matter, and I believe her grace would keep nothing a fecret from me. This you may depend on as fact, that the next. morning my lord duke cried out three times to his valet de chambre, "Jernigan, Jernigan, Jernigan, bring me my garters. But previously I fhould have mentioned the very impolite behaviour of Mr. Burchell; who, during this dif course, fate with his face turned to the fire, and at the conclufion of every fentence would cry out fudge, an expreffion which difpleafed us all, and in fome measure damped the rifing fpirit of the converfation. 6 Your ladyship fhould except,' fays t'other, your own things in the Lady's Magazine. I hope you'll fay there's "nothing low-lived there? But I fup" pole we are to have no more from that quarter? Fudge! 2 fhould not be deprived of fuch advan- > Why, my dear,' fays the lady, 'you know my reader and companion has left me to be married to Captain Roach, and as my poor eyes won't fuffer me to write myself, I have been for fome time looking out for another. A proper perfon is no eafy matter to find, and to be fure thirty pounds a year is a fmall ftipend for a well-bred girl of character, that can read, write, and behave in company; as for the chits about town, there is no bearing them about one. Fudge! That I know,' cried Mifs Skeggs, by experience. For of the three companions I had this laft half year, one thing of this kind, Madam,' cried› of them refuted to do plain-work an fhe, addreffing my spouse, requires a hour in the day, another thought thorough examination into charactwenty-five guineas a year too fmallters, and a more perfect knowledge a falary, and I was obliged to fend away the third, because I fufpected an intrigue with the chaplain. Virtue, my dear Lady Blarney, virtue is worth any price; but where is that to be found? Fudge! When the had delivered this pretty piece of eloquence, the two ladies looked at each other a few minutes in: filence, with an air of doubt and im-. portance. At laft Mifs Carolina Wilelmina Amelia Skeggs condescended to obferve, that the young ladies, from the opinion fhe could form of them from fo flight an acquaintance, feemed very fit for fuch employments: But a My wife had been for a long time all attention to this difcourfe; but was particularly struck with the latter part of it. Thirty pounds and twenty-five guineas a year made fifty-fix pounds five fhillings English money, all which was in a manner going a begging, and might easily be fecured in the family.' She for a moment ftudied my looks for approbation; and, to own a truth, I was of opinion, that two such places would fit our two daughters exactly." Befides, if the fquire had any real affection for my eldest daughter, this would be the way to make her every way qualified for her fortune. My wife therefore was refolved that we of each other. Not, Madam,' con-. tinued fhe, that I in the leaft fufpect the young ladies virtue, prudence and difcretion: but there is a form in these things, Madam; there is a form. Fudge! My wife approved her fufpicions very much, obferving that he was very apt to be fufpicious herfelf; but referred her to all the neighbours for a character: but this our peerefs declined as unneceflary, alledging that her coun Thornhill's recommendation would be fufficient, and upon this we rested our petition. CHA P. XII. FORTUNE. SEEMS RESOLVED ΤΟ HUMBLE THE FAMILY OF WAKE. FIELD. MORTIFICATIONS ARE OFTEN OFTEN MORE PAINFUL THAN REAL CALAMITIES. W HEN we were returned home, the night was dedicated to fchemes of future conqueft. Deborah exerted much fagacity in conjecturing which of the two girls was likely to have the best place, and moft opportumities of feeing good company. The only obitacle to our preferment was in obtaining the fquire's recommendation; but he had already fhewn us too many inftances of his friendship to doubt of it now. Even in bed my wife kept upthe ufual theme: Well, faith, my dear Charles, between ourfelves, I think we have made an excellent day's work of it. Pretty well,' cried I, not knowing what to fay. What only pretty well returned the. I think it is very well. Suppofe the girls fhould come to make acquaintances of taste in town! This I am affured of, that London is the only place in the world for all manner of husbands. Befides, my dear, ftranger things happen every day: and as ladies of quality are fo often taken with my daughter, what will not men of quality be! Entre nous, I protest I like my Lady Blarney vaftly, fo very obliging. However, Mifs Carolina Wil⚫elmina Amelia Skeggs has my warm heart. But yet, when they came to • talk of places in town, you faw at once how I nailed them. Tell me, my dear, don't you think I did for my children there?' Ay,' returned I, not knowing well what to think of the matter, Heaven grant they may be both the better for it this day three months! This was one of thofe obfervations I made to imprefs my wife with an opinion of my fagacity; for if the girls fucceeded, then it was a pious with fulfilled; but if any thing unfortunate enfued, then it might be looked upon as a prophecy. All this converfation, however, was only preparatory to another scheme, and indeed I dread ed as much. This was nothing lefs than, as we were now to hold up our heads a little higher in the world, it would be proper to fell the colt, which was grown old, at a neighbouring fair, and buy us an horse that would carry ingle or double upon an occasion, and make a pretty appearance at church or upon a vifit." This at first I oppofed Routly; but it was as ftoutly defended. However, as I weakened, my antagonifts gained ftrength, till at laft it was refolved to part with him. As the fair happened on the following day, I had intentions of going myself; but my wife perfuaded me that I had got a cold, and nothing could prevail upon her to permit me from home. No, my dear,' faid fhe, our fon Mofes is a difcreet boy, and can buy and fell to very good advantage; you know all our great bargains are of his purchafing. He always ftands out and higgles, and actually tires them till he gets a bargain.' As I had fome opinion of my fon's prudence, I was willing enough to entruft him with this commiffion; and the next morning I perceived his fifters mighty bufy in fitting out Mofes for the fair; trimming his hair, brushing his buckles, and cocking his hat with pins. The bufinefs of the toilet being over, we had at last the fatisfaction of feeing him mounted upon the colt, with a deal box before him to bring home groceries in. He had on a coat made of that cloth they call thunder and lightning, which, though grown too fhort, was much too good to be thrown away. His waiftcoat was of gofling green, and his fifters had tied his hair with a broad black ribband. We all followed him feveral paces from the door, bawling after him, 'Good kick, good luck,' till we could fee him no longer. He was fcarce gone, when Mr.Thornhill's butler came to congratulate us upon our good fortune, faying, that he overheard his young mafter mention our names with great commendation. Good fortune feemed refolved not to come alone. Another footman from the fame family followed, with a card for my daughters, importing, that the two ladies had received fuch pleafing accounts from Mr. Thornhill of us all, that after a few previous enquiries, they hoped to be perfectly satisfied. Ay,' cried my wife, I now fee it is no eafy matter to get into the families of the great; but when one once gets in, then, as Mofes fays, one may go fleep. To this piece of humour, for the intended it for wit, my daughters affented with a loud laugh of pleasure. In fhort, fuch was her fatisfaction at this meffage, that the fhe actually put her hand in her pocket, and gave the messenger seven-pence halfpenny. This was to be our visiting-day. The next that came was Mr. Burchell, who had been at the fair. He brought my little ones a pennyworth of gingerbread each, which my wife undertook to keep for them, and give them by letters at a time. He brought my daughters alfo a couple of boxes, in which they might keep wafers, snuff, patches, or even money, when they got it. My wife was usually fond of a weazel-fkin purfe, as being the most lucky; but this by the bye. We had ftill a regard for Mr. Burchell, though his late rude behaviour was in fome measure difpleafing; nor could we now? avoid communicating our happiness to him, and asking his advice: although wefeldom followed advice, we were all ready enough to afk it. When we read the note from the two ladies, he shook bis head, and obferved, that an affair of this fort demanded the utmost circumfpection. This air of diffidence highly difpleafed my wife. I never doubted, Sir,' cried fhe, your readinefs to be againft my daughters and me. 4 2 which he had ftrapt round his fhoulders like a pedlar. Welcome, welcome, Mofes; well, my boy, what have you brought us from the fair? I have brought you myfelf,' cried Mofes, with a fly look, and refting the box on the dreffer. Aye, Mofes,' cried my wife, that we know, but where is the horfe? I have fold him,' cried Mofes, for three pounds five fhillings and two-pence. Well done, my "good boy,' returned fhe, I knew, you would touch them off. Between ourfelves, three pounds five fhillings and two-pence is no bad day's work. "Come let us have it then. I have brought back no money,' cried Mofes again. I have laid it all out in a bargain, and here it is, pulling out a bundle from his breaft: here they are; agroce of green spectacles, with fil- · ver rims and fhagreen cafes. A groce of green fpectacles !' repeated my wife in a faint voice. And you have parted with the colt, and brought us back nothing but a groce of green paltry fpectacles!'- Dear mother,' cried the boy, why won't you liften to reafon? I had them a dead bargain, or I fhould not have bought them. The filver rims alone will fell for double the money. A fig for the filver rims,' cried my wife, in a paffion: I dare fwear they won't fell for above half the money at the rate of broken filver, five fhillings an ounce. You need be under no 'uneafinefs,' cried I, about felling: the rims; for they are not worth fixpence, for I perceive they are only. copper varnished over.'_ What, cried my wife, not filver! the rims not filver! No,' cried I, 6 no more filver than your faucepan.' And fo,' returned fhe, we have parted with the colt, and have only got a groce of green fpectacles, with copper rims and fhagreen cafes! Amurrain take fuch trumpery. The blockhead has been impofed upon, and fhould have known his company bet'ter. There, my dear,' cried I, You have more circumfpection than is wanted. However, I fancy when we come to ask advice, we fhall apply to perfons who feem to have made ufe of it themfelves.' Whatever my own conduct may have been, Madam,' replied he, is not the prefent queftion; though as I have made no ufe of advice myfelf, I fhould in ⚫ confcience give it to thofe that will." As I was apprehensive this anfwer might draw on a repartee, making up by abufe what it wanted in wit, I changed the fubject, by feeming to wonder what could keep our fon fo long at the fair, as it was now almoft night-fall. Never • mind our fon,' cried my wife; "de" pend upon it he knows what he is about. I'll warrant we'll never fee < him fell his hen of a rainy day. I have feen him buy fuch bargains as would amaze one. I'll tell you a good ftory about that, that will make you fplit your fides with laughing. But as I live, yonder comes Mofes, without an horfe, and the box at his • back.' ་ As the fpeke, Mofes came flowly on foot, and fweating under the deal box, |