EPITAPH,

ON

GENERAL GORGES*, AND LADY MEATH +.

UNDER this stone lies Dick and Dolly.
Doll dying first, Dick grew melancholy;
For Dick without Doll thought living a folly.

Dick lost in Doll a wife tender and dear: :
But Dick lost by Doll twelve hundred a year ;
A loss that Dick thought no mortal could bear.

Dick sigh'd for his Doll, and his mournful arms cross'd';

Thought much of his Doll, and the jointure he lost: The first vex'd him much, the other vex'd most.

Thus loaded with grief, Dick sigh'd and he cried :
To live without both full three days he tried;
But liked neither loss, and so quietly died.

Dick left a pattern few will copy after :

• Then, reader, pray shed some tears of salt water; For so sad a tale is no subject of laughter.

* Of Kilbrue, in the county of Meath.

+ Dorothy, dowager of Edward, earl of Meath. She was married to the general in 1716; and died April 10, 1728. Her husband survived her but two days.

Meath smiles for the jointure, though gotten so late;
The son laughs, that got the hard gotten estate;
And Cuffe grins, for getting the Alicant plate.

Here quiet they lie, in hopes to rise one day,
Both solemnly put in this hole on a Sunday,
And here rest-sic transit gloria mundi !

VERSES ON I KNOW NOT WHAT.

My latest tribute here I send,
With this let your collection end.
Thus I consign you down to fame
A character to praise or blame :
And if the whole may pass for true,
Contented rest, you have your due.
Give future time the satisfaction,
To leave one handle for detraction.

UPON CARTHY'S

TRANSLATE PINDAR.

THREATENING TO
BY DR. SWIFT.

You have undone Horace,—what should hinder

Thy muse from falling upon Pindar ?
But ere you mount his fiery steed,

Beware, O bard, how you proceed

* John Cuffe, of Desart, esq., married the general's eldest daughter.

+ Carthy, a scribbling schoolmaster, wrote some severe lines on Dr. Swift and his friends.

For

For should you give him once the reins,
'High up in air he'll turn your brains;
And if you should his fury check,
'Tis ten to one he breaks your neck.

DR. SWIFT wrote the following Epigram on one DELACOURT'S complimenting CARTHY, a Schoolmaster, on his Poetry.

EPIGRA M.

CARTHY, you say, writes well—his genius true;
You pawn your word for him-he'll vouch for you.
So two poor knaves, who find their credit fail,
To cheat the world, becomes each other's bail.

WRITTEN BY DR. SWIFT,

ON HIS OWN DEAFNESS.

VERTIGI

ERTIGINOSUS*, inops, surdus, male gratus amicis ;

Non campana sonans, tonitru non ab Jove missum, Quod mage mirandum, saltem si credere fas est, Non clamosa meas mulier jam percutit aures.

*The second syllable "Vertiginosus" is here made short by the dean; perhaps the more expressive of the malady it describes, as steteruntque coma" in Virgil.

"

BOWYER.

THE

THE DEAN'S COMPLAINT, TRANSLATED AND ANSWERED.

DOCTOR.

DEAF, giddy, helpless, left alone.

ANSWER.

Except the first, the fault's your own.

DOCTOR.

To all my friends a burden grown.

ANSWER.

Because to few you will be shown.
Give them good wine, and meat to stuff,
You have
may company enough.

DOCTOR.

No more I hear my church's bell,
Than if it rang out for my knell.

ANSWER.

Then write and read, 'twill do as well.

A woman's clack, if I have skill,

Sounds somewhat like a throwster's mill;

But louder than a bell, or thunder;

That does, I own, increase my

wonder.

EPIGRAM

4

EPIGRAM BY MR. BOWYER.

IN SYLLABAM LONGAM IN VOCE VERTIGINOSUS* A D. SWIFT CORREPTAM.'

MUSARUM antistes, Phœbi numerosus alumnus,
Vix omnes numeros Vertiginosus habet.
Intentat charo capiti vertigo ruinam :

Oh! servet cerebro nata Minerva caput.
Vertigo nimium longa est, divine poeta ;
Dent tibi Pierides, donet Apollo, brevem.

EPIGRAM BY MR. BOWYER.

INTENDED TO BE PLACED UNDER THE HEAD OF
GULLIVER, 1733.

HERE learn, from moral truth and wit refined,

How vice and folly have debased mankind;
Strong sense and humour arm in virtue's cause;
Thus her great votary vindicates her laws :
While bold and free the glowing colours strike;
Blame not the picture, if the picture 's like."

* See page 441.

INSCRIPTION,