has been my fellowship with God the Father and Son. O what a glorious privilege is communion with God; it is better felt than expressed: it is, as a good man describes it, the lively actings of the soul upon God by faith, in holy exercises; in which he communicates to us the sense of his favour and acceptance, filling us with joy and peace, and making us abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost, and shedding abroad the sense of his love in our heart. Amazing goodness and condescension! Astonishing, that sinners should be thus favoured. What in his love do I not possess? He is with me by night and by day, my last thoughts at night are his, and my first in the morning spring forth to him. He unveils the glories of eternity to my faith, the land that is afar off is brought nigh; wherever I walk, or move, I meet my Jesus, who possesses all my affections. In a small degree, I can say with Dr. Watts: "If love, that pleasing power can rest, Come, dearest Saviour, to my breast, -22. O that all my powers might praise my God, who deals so bountifully with me. Still I dwell on high. Through abounding mercy, I have had many sweet seasons in the course of these eight days, in public, private, and secret; in conversation, meditation, reading, hearing, and praying. I have enjoyed habitual communion with God; clear views of, and sweet intercourse with my beloved Saviour. He has often, (to use the language of scripture,) made my soul as the chariots of Aminadab, and caused me to sit in heavenly places with himself. He has shone into my soul in all his attractive beauty, and captivated my heart. In general, he now teaches me more than ever to live continually by faith upon him; he is my life, my strength, my comfort, my all. Yet still I am weak, I am only strong in his strength, and in his pure light alone I see light. I cannot praise him as I would: now, while I write, how sweetly nigh do I feel him, how clear by the eye of the mind do I behold him! O Jesus, what hast thou done for me! My soul longs and frequently attempts to set forth his beauty to others, and I hope not always in vain. 27. My God has increased his goodness to me since Sunday last; I have indeed dwelt in the secret place of the Most High, and abode under the shadow of the Almighty. My views of Jesus have been brighter than ever, and my intercourse by faith more intimate and sweet. I am not able in the language of mortality to express what I now enjoy in him; and what uninterrupted communion I am permitted to hold with God the Father. Yesterday was indeed one of the days of the Son of Man; when meditating upon Divine things, and fearing in the view of trials, unfaithfulness to God, the bright glare of eternity seemed to obscure, or rather to annihilate all below the un Future glory was unfolded to my view. I 1 felt almost as an inhabitant there, and more than ever formerly, did I feel under the powers of the world to come. This was after conversing with a Christian friend about two hours on the things of God: but satan soon suggested, surely more severe trials than ever are now at hand; which was likely to embitter my present heaven. I started back, as it were, and feared to receive more from God. Lord, how wonderful are thy dealings with me; how good thou art in answering my prayers; for this last was an immediate return to my request. I asked the Lord, in order to make me faithful to him in the time of trial, which I viewed at hand, that he would give me to see and feel time swallowed up in eternity, that every worldly consideration, such as the fear of man, &c. &c. might vanish. December 27. Various causes have concurred to interrupt my writing, but I find I have suffered loss by it. It is indeed a good thing, to watch constantly over our heart and life, to attend diligently to all the Lord's dealings towards us, and then to record them for our benefit: nothing but necessity should make a Christian neglect it. For these last four weeks, my comfort has not been so great. I have been greatly tried in body, mind, and outward estate; and the Beloved of my soul has not felt so nigh, which made me feel them heavier. My spirits and nerves, also, have been affected, and altogether conspired to bring me into heaviness. I have been unusually detained from the public means by affliction of body, and have feared continually, lest I should get into self-indulgence, which has added to my trials. But according to the wonted goodness of my God, though I am unworthy, I look to be increased. At times, I have been refreshed with a sense of the presence of my God, and Jesus has also been with me: but my communion with the Father and the Son has not been so near and sweet as usual. I have felt a partial distance, and one reason of this has been, I think, a necessity of much attention to outward and worldly things, with a variety of trials from without and within. I have been harassed, and sometimes driven, and sometimes drawn, from steadily looking to Jesus. 1778. Diary continued. January 1. On this first day of the new year, I feel inclined (ay I be enabled,) to make a fresh dedication of myself, with all I have and am, to my God; yea, a more full and unreserved surrender of myself than ever. Lord, accept my sacrifice; O may the altar sanctify the gift, and through thy sovereign grace, may I live more to thee, do more for thee, and prove more of thy sanctifying and saving power. May my communion and fellowship with thee be sensibly increased, and continued, if spared, through this ensuing year. May I be made more faithful to thee, to thy cause, to my fellow-creatures, and myself. Lord, I would also offer up to thee my family; O be the God of it, and enable me to walk before thee in it, in a perfect manner; ruling it only by giving light, by a deportment becoming the gospel. O how defective hitherto ! I would also, O Lord, offer up to thee all my relations; O accept of them, and make them, by faith in Jesus, thy children. O let these requests be registered in thy book of life, and answer me in the joy of my heart concerning them. I feel a small increase of grace in my soul, more comfort in prayer, more love to God, and the fiery darts of the enemy are not so frequent. Upon a review of the last year, I find many mercies, spiritual and temporal, for which to be thankful. I have been favoured with much of the sweet presence of my God, and his dear Son; with much inclination and a degree of power, and very many opportunities of doing good to the souls and bodies of my fellow-creatures. I give them, Lord, up to thee, follow them with thy blessing. I have also been favoured with many deliverances, with regard to |