"Hail, Royal Prince!"-" The nuptials. Prince Albert's character Queen! and the Concert!". "Prince as a musical dilettante has set all the Albert's Grand March!". -"Hom- fiddle-strings and pianoforte keys in "Rossen mage aux Cobourg!" the country in motion. The most Blatter Walzer und Furioso Galop!" amusing of all these productions is Such are the titles of a few of the "The Queen and Prince Albert," by fashionablen musical compositions J. Bruton, (qy. Brute?) It is a sort which have been put forth by the of parody on "The King, God bless dozen, in celebration of the royal him!" and the first verse runs thus : "We've met round the board, and pleasure lights up The eye that day's care has been dimming! And friendship invites us to drink of the cup, In bumpers as bright as they're brimming! A toast I'll propose, A man never rose With feelings more glad to express 'em ; I'll give you, with nine— The Queen and Prince Albert, God bless 'em!" and we beg to add,— "The little ones, when they possess 'em!" which, from the emphasis laid on the word "nine," is, no doubt, only carrying out the poet's meaning a little more fully. 66 In another of this poet's songs on Then give them a toast, "Mr. Dan Callaghan, Im. Pee., presints his complimints to the Editor of the Charryvarry, and begs to state that, since the Mane Boundary Question has been rasintly revived, in his opinion the conduct of the opponents of government in this matter is mane in the extrame. Bluranouns! why wouldn't they wait tull they see what Lord Palmerston has to say till it? By the insartion of the above, or any part of it, in your valuable journal,' you will greatly oblige, "Yours, D. C., Im. Pee." The Constitutionnel, in noticing, with great praise, the strictures in our last number upon Spring Rice's political life, speaks of that distinguished (qy. ex-tinguished) statesman as "the Lord Matteagle," and of the aged victim of his jobbing, as "Sir John Nicopert." The Times describes these as typographical blunders. They are no such things. They are part of a systematic design, which, notwithstanding the praise of the Constitutionnel, we must characterize as extravagantly impudent, to Frenchify every thing out of France -our names, amongst the rest, the same (we trust) fruitful subject, his loyalty provides a very comfortable esculent for the royal breakfasttable as follows: and make it three rounds !!" - Sir Charles Douglas, the member for Warwick, had his pocket recently picked of 157. in the library of the House of Commons. The Radical riff-raff, to wit, of our reformed representation ! We beg to assure M. Guizot that we had nothing whatever to say to the Charivari which was administered to his Excellency immediately after his arrival. We hold our rod in pickle, and shall produce it in due season. -Why did not Sheriff Evans's medical witnesses swear at once that, like Wheelton, he had a short neck, and thus relieve themselves from a badgering examination. Lord J. Russell and Sir R. Peel would have said they believed it, even against the evidence of their senses. Long though his neck be as a gander's, the majority would have readily voted that he had no neck at all, and the medical worthies would have as readily declared it. Why did not Lord John, when they were closetted with him previously to being called to the bar, teach them a more direct mode of asseveration? -EWART'S LOGIC.-In the debate on the abolition of capital punishment, Mr. Ewart propounded the following dilemma:-"If the murderer acts from calculation, it is plain that capital punishment does not restrain him, for his very deliberation shows that he sets it at nought. If not from calculation, but from impulse, it is plain that he overlooks the consequences of his deed. Why, then, continue the punishment of death for murder." To which we have only to add-why even a day on the treadmill? Either he does not deliberate at all, or "his deliberation shows that he sets your punishment at nought. Admirable reasoner ! The following is a specimen of pickpockets' logic:-"Let them abolish punishments of a dreadful nature, and they would abolish crime." Have we a Bedlam ? -Prince Albert has received the freedom and clothing of the Fishmongers' Company. Rather "scaly," we should say, yet considerate withal, since the reduction of the Prince's apanage. H. R. H. has been also honoured by the freedom of the Dublin Corporation-and so has Jemmy Bradshaw ! Extremes meet. If ever these worthies meet at a civic festival in Dublin, we should think it will be after the Irish jaunting-car fashion-dos à dos ! The officers of the Guards are most incorrectly twitted with being mere Parade soldiers. Far from it; they are most expert at ball practice,' from which those of the Tenth Hussars have been long since excluded. -OHE, JAM SATIS! Never since the first creation of crowns and cats, was a queen's marriage so paragraphed and bepainted, so versified and illuminated. The several arts of printing, daubing, engraving, scribbling, and gas-lighting were fairly exhausted. Placarding and “ starring" in Fleet-street and the Strand reached their enthanasia; the broad sheets of the press were converted into picture-exhibitions; and portraits of the Lord knows who displayed thereon in every possible variety. The procession, the throne room, the bridal ceremony, all were engraved "with surprising accuracy," and printed off at the rate of ten thousand an hour before the aforesaid ceremony took place while the Queen and Prince Albert were made to look as grim as rough blocks and villainous paper could make them. The great cake was emblazoned by others of the "best possible instructors," with a variety of flags flying from every point of its circumference, and a sort of scaffolding erected around it, with about 20,000 Cupids (the Queen and Prince Albert amongst the rest, and provided with wings, oh, fatal omen!) arrayed as morrice-dancers; and, last not least, the illuminated façade of the SUN completed the sparkling brilliancy of the scene. But the wearisome parade did not end even here. The blue light and pasteboard exhibition at Covent Garden, yclept "The Fortunate Islands," kept up the never-dying nuisance. A succession of 370 tributary odes and songs, glees and madrigals, were issued by the metropolitan musicvenders, and are still being issued. But, worse than all, 249,000 addresses (by accurate computation) have been poured in from every street in every town, and every village, and every hamlet in England, every beggarly conventicle in Scotland, every slimy bog in Ireland. The Jews in Holywell-street, and the old clothes' venders in Monmouth-street, have also been bestirring themselves. An address, too, of congratulation from that dusky squaw, the queen of Otaheite, is on its way to England, and upon the occasion of its presentation, of course a grand court will be held in Buckingham Palace, with Palmerston and Chester(field) to usher in the savages, the which will be recorded to the length of three columns in the newspapers. Save us from a fit of plethora! When will this most wearisome of farces end? -We are happy to learn that Dan Callaghan, the round-about member for Cork City, otherwise known as big Dan, in contradistinction to the great Dan, is to figure at the tournament to be given by the Marquis of Waterford. Dan will tilt beer-barrels and pork-tierces. A TRIO OF ILLUSTRIOUS IRISHMEN. Three Marquises in distant counties born, To show how he hates the Papistical harlot, As Footman, either to match or in a single-handed place, a Young Man, age 26, who stands six feet, and thoroughly understands his business in all its branches. Address "X. Y. Z., Reform Club." 'Proverbial Philosophy Book of Facts and Arguments," BY PHIL. HOWARD, M.P. 66 The Thunderer, whips Lord Jacko vigorously for his amazing coolness in saying that the charges against Ministers in a late debate, were "of the flimsiest kind." This, too," adds the Thunderer, "after the speeches of Sir James Graham, Serjeant Jackson, Lord Stanley, and Sir Robert Peel." Serjeant Jackson, quotha, in such company! "Like the fly preserved in amber. We wonder how the d-1 he got there." Jackson is all bubble and squeak and dullness, relieved only by matchless assurance, and a violence that "o'erdoes Terinagant." A score of Jacksons, and Littons, and Tennents, and all that class of pretensious puppets, would not make the shadow of a Shaw, in whose mind are combined the finer qualities of gentleman, scholar and statesman. But Jackson, pah! The nomenclature, and the order of the juxtaposition of its component parts-Graham, Jackson, Stanley and Peel, strikes our ear as though one of Wombwell's men were announce his "Wonderful wonders" thus: "The buffalo, the tom-titthe tiger and the elephant!" to Baines has been hammering away again at his eternal motion about"First Fruits"-rather mouldy and mildewed, we should say: the smoky atmosphere of Leeds is pernicious to horticulture. - We are happy to perceive that, emboldened by the favourable sketch, which we gave con amore, of Colonel Cassius's oratorical powers, our friend Sib has come out as a tip-top debater. There was positively not less than half a column of the Times allotted to a recent speech of his, and not one "laugh was inserted from beginning to end. The colonel hath waxed grave, in consideration of the momentous duties of a leading statesman, which he hath assumed. Verily, Colonel, you will be the death of us, if you doom the world to the surcease of your fancifully playful wit. Encase yourself in motley again, knead up your oratorical dough with the old Joe Miller leaven, or we shall expire from very inanition, like a mouse in an exhausted receiver! Sib spoke with becoming modesty of his "unrivalled majority," and, truth to speak, with justice have we proclaimed, that henceforward shall he be known by the style and title of "Majority," no, Major" Sib. Lord Jacko talked of "the laurels which Sib had won upon a previous evening;" borrowing the phrase from our much-admired commentaries on the gallant member's eloquence; and Sib. repudiated the idea that he had won any laurels at all, with a mock solemnity that reminded us strongly of Richard's repudiation of the crown, or of a clerical dignitary at his consecration, exclaim ing, "Nolo episcopari!" and supported by a fat bottle-holder with an insinuating "Pray be persuaded!" - Her Majesty's affability, upon the occasion of her visit, accompanied by her royal consort, to Covent Garden Theatre, was truly delightful to contemplate. The performance on the stage was Patter versus Clatter. In the royal box it was patter and clatter both together. To communicate the delight we feel, is one of the most pleasing traits of amiability; and, sooth to say, her Majesty's flute-like tones" must make her a charming interpretess. Prince Albert may well sing, when he becomes better acquainted with our native melodies: "She's a charming wee thing, This sweet little wife of mine!" - The Royalty of France is sadly at a discount. Louis Philippe was a shopkeeper in New York, and a schoolmaster in England; but he is quite good enough for a king in France. If England is a "nation of shopkeepers," France is rough-ridden by a solitary boutiquier, whose character was admirably displayed in his last vain effort to abstract a good round sum from the national" till." What pretty little pickings the sovereign of the barricades derives from his numerous éschopes in the Palais Royal! "Romanism," quoth FURY, "destroys all hopes of salvation; a papist must be d-d!" Ditto," quoth the firebrand Romanist of Fury. If the wishes of the ultras upon either side be carried into effect, all mankind will be d-d together. Indeed, we doubt whether any thing short of an enlargement of "Pluto's drear domain," would satisfy them. But they are right. Yes, H-1 will be paved with blow-coal bigots, and brutal blasphemers. But why unveil the ulcer? Why placard the shame? FURY and his pestilent brethren— the intolerants of all creeds—will not the less assuredly go to the infernal regions, because of a discreet concealment of their inevitable doom. paupers. Quære. Are members of parliament exempted? Precedent. Their franking and other privileges have ceased. Rationale. Poor devils! They are now obliged to pay for their letters. - A DISINTERESTED POLITICIAN. A modest correspondent writes us as follows:-" Pray Mr. Editor, make use of your parliamentary and editorial power in calling the attention of the government and public to the rascallity of the French, as regards the blockade of Buenos Ayres, as it ruins my interests, along with those of the British merchants at the Plate." The Chancellor of the Exchequer means to impose a tax upon salt. We trust he does not mean to include Attic salt, our facility in the production of which would absolutely ruin us, let us be guaged either by quantity or quality. If he taxes our salt, we have something in pickle for him. What think you of the provident statesmanship that taxes one of the first necessaries of life, and reduces the duty on one of its most dangerous luxuries-makes English salt dear, and French brandy cheap! Sir Edward Sugden makes great progress in his legislative capacity. His propositions were at first lost by considerable majorities; they are now negatived without a division. At first men elevated their eyes and shoulders in astonishment, now they only smile. Sheil, at Byng's dinner, strutted his brief hour upon the stage with a vengeance. Acting being his forte, he felt quite at home upon the boards. The apostrophe: Aged and venerable man!" was a new reading from Evadne. - POETRY RUN MAD. We extract the following from a newspaper sonnet-we presume by the "Corn Law Rhymer:" ""Twere better planned To bring home food to us. It is a grand Mistake to fancy that we overflow With population. Men can never stand Too thickly on the soil of England; no!'' &c. EXQUISITE THEME FOR FEMALE PENS.-A royal duchess and her daughter sojourning at Ramsgate the latter a sweet and interesting child, with sunny looks and bright blue eyes-the features riantes yet highly aristocratic in their tournure the nose partaking more of Roman dignity than of Grecian grace -strawberry lips and peachy cheeks -fine expansive brow, and pretty diminutive foot, &c. &c. Sandy beach exposed full to view, of a brilliant whiteness-murmuring of the distant waves-thoughts upon the flux and reflux of the vast majestic ocean! The duchess and her youthful charge invited by the cooling breath of soft sea-wafted gales, repair to the sunny beach-when lo! before them lies a lovely youth-a curly-headed bambino-sleeping on the sands-with a heavenly smile on his lips-the beauteous baby-boynot Chantry himself hath modelled so charming a type of sleeping childhood's spotless innocence! Down falls that youthful high-born damoselle, and claps her little hands with delight, and on her knees she kisses the lovely youth, for whom from that nour she conceives a more than sister's love. Ah me! thus early will the spoiler seek and effect a lodgment in the breast of innocence. -Insuperable obstacles! Dreadful disparity of condition! That youth was but an oyster fisher's son! That maiden weareth now Great Britain's crown! The warm kisses of the youthful damoselle awoke the bright-eyed boy; tenfold beauty burst from the severed lids; "Ma! you mus' gib him to me for 'im play-felly." Who could refuse a request preferred by such beauteous lips-by a voice of such silvery tones? That youth becomes the duchess's page. As he groweth in years, so also in comeliness, &c. &c. • Fifteen years have elapsed [reflections upon our fleeting mortality; alas! how frail is the tenure of life! &c.] The fair-haired girl is now the empress of earth's mightiest realm. Encircleth that snowy and expansive brow an expensive diadem, &c. The princes of the earth have sought on bended knee that fairest, most exquisite of hands in marriage. To one more favoured than the rest, &c. &c. that hand is given-solemnization of the royal nuptials-national rejoicings-the imperial honeymoon connubial bliss-les delices de l'amour - ravishment—intoxication enchantment! Yet, not even during this delightful hour is that curly-headed page forgotten. Ah, fatal step! Oh, sad mishap! Scarcely doth the honeymoon commence to wane, when the galliard-hight Jerry Wood of Broadstairs, is advanced to the condition of principal page in waiting on her imperious highnesstoo oft is the eye of majesty caught smiling on the graceful youth offended dignity of Albertus magnus jealousy of that illustrious imperial consort― consternation!— dismay!-confusion-horror !! CRITICAL GARBAGE. - The Sunday paper which decorates itself with the royal arms, without authority-and which is chiefly conducted by Grunt, the great Blunder-opolisman-speaks thus of Count D'Orsay's portrait of Mrs. Anson: "The self-possessed, but still somewhat haughty expression of her handsome countenance, the subdued pride of youth and birth and beauty, are given with wonderful fidelity." So that, according to Grunt, selfpossession and "a somewhat haughty expression" are irreconcileable! We had thought them not only compatible, but homogeneous. And though the " expression is haughty," the "pride is subdued!!" "Of the artist," he proceeds, we can only repeat our foregone conclusion what a pity that he has not adopted painting as an occupation-any thing, in short, rather than the trade of a mere fashionable ephemera, who dies and is forgotten, his brief day of sunshine done and over." This ignorant charlatan, like all of his class, when he quotes from a learned language, must of necessity do it incorrectly; what a vile mess does he not make with his ephemera! It is just as if he had said, "Why has not the count adopted any occupation rather than the trade of a fashionable |