The chimney to a steeple grown,
The jack would not be left alone;
But, up against the steeple rear'd,
Became a clock, and ftill adher'd ;
And still its love to houfhold-cares,
By a fhrill voice at noon, declares,
Warning the cook-maid not to burn
That roaft-meet which it cannot turn.
THE groaning chair began to crawl,
Like a huge fnail, along the wall;
There stuck aloft in public view,
And, with fmall change, a pulpit grew.
THE porringers, that in a row
Hung high, and made a glittʼring show,
To a lefs noble fubftance chang'd,
Were now but leathern buckets rang'd.
THE ballads pafted on the wall,
Of Joan of France, and English Moll,
Fair Rofamond, and Robin Hood,
The little children in the wood,
Now feem'd to look abundance better,
Improv'd in picture, fize, and letter;
And, high in order plac'd, describe
The heraldry of ev'ry tribe *.
A bedstead of the antique mode,
Compact of timber many a load,
Such as our ancestors did use,
Was metamorphos'd into pews;
Which still their antient nature keep,
By lodging folks difpos'd to sleep.
THE Cottage by fuch feats as thefe
Grown to a church by juft degrees,
Of the twelve tribes of Ifrael, which in country-churches are fometimes diftinguished by the enfigns appropriated to them by Jacob on his deathbed. Hawkef.
The hermits then defir'd their host
To ask for what he fancy'd moft.
Philemon, having paus'd a while,
Return'd them thanks in homely style;
Then faid, My house is grown fo fine,
Methinks, I ftill would call it mine;
I'm old, and fain would live at ease ;
Make me the parfon, if you pleafe.
HEfpoke and presently he feels
His grazier's coat fall down his heels :
He fees, yet hardly can believe,
About each arm a pudding-sleeve;
His waistcoat to a cassock grew,
And both affum'd a fable hue;
But, being old, continu'd just
As threed-bare, and as full of duft.
His talk was now of tythes and dues :
He fmok'd his pipe, and read the news;
Knew how to preach old sermons next,
Vamp'd in the preface and the text ;
At christ'nings well could act his part,
And had the fervice all by heart;
Wish'd women might have children fast,
And thought whofe fow had farrow'd last;
Against diffenters would repine,
And flood up firm for right divine;
Found his head fill'd with many a system :
he ne'er mifs'd 'em.
THUS having furbish'd up a parfon,
Dame Baucis next they play'd their farce on.
Inftead of home-fpun coifs, were seen
Good pinners edg'd with colberteen;
Her petticoat, transform'd, apace,.
Became black fattin flounc'd with lace.
Plain Goody would no longer down,
'Twas Madam, in her grogram gown.
Philemon was in great surprise,
And hardly could believe his eyes,
Amaz'd to see her look fo prim;
And fhe admir'd as much at him.
THUS happy in their change of life
Were fev'ral years this man and wife ;
When on a day, which prov'd their laft,
Difcourfing o'er old stories past,
They went by chance, amidst their talk,
To the church-yard to take a walk;
When Baucis haftily cry'd out,
My dear, I fee your forehead sprout!
Sprout! quoth the man; what's this you tell us?
I hope you don't believe me jealous:
But yet, methinks, I feel it true ;
And really, yours is budding too
-now I cannot ftir my foot;
It feels as if twere taking root.
DESCRIPTION would but tire my
In fhort, they both were turn'd to yews.
OLD Goodman Dobson of the green
Remembers, he the trees has feen ;
He'll talk of them from noon till night,
And goes with folks to fhew the fight;
On Sundays, after ev'ning-pray'r,,
He gathers all the parish there;
Points out the place of either yew ;
Here Baucis, there Philemon grew:
Till once a parfon of our town,
To mend his barn, cut Baucis down;
At which 'tis hard to be believ'd
How much the other tree was griev❜d,
Grew fcrubby, dy'd a-top, was ftunted;
So the next parfon stubb'd and burnt it.
A Defcription of a CITY-SHOWer.
In imitation of Virgil's Georgics.
Written in the year 1712%
AREFUL observers may foretel the hour
(By fure prognoftics) when to dread a fhow'r.
While rain depends, the penfive cat gives o'er
Her frolics, and pursues her tail no more.
Returning home at night, you'll find the fink
Strike your offended sense with double stink.
If you be wife, then go not far to dine;
You'll spend in coach-hire more than save in wine.
A coming fhow'r your shooting corns prefage,
Old aches throb, your hollow tooth will rage; 10.
Saunt'ring in coffee-house is Dulman feen ;
He damns the climate, and complains of spleen.
MEAN while the south, rifing with dabbled wings,
A fable cloud athwart the welkin flings,
That fwill'd more liquor than it could contain,
And, like a drunkard, gives it up again.
Brisk Sufan whips her linen from the rope,
While the firft drizzling fhow'r is born aflope:
Such is that fprinkling which fome careless quean-
Flirts on you from her mop, but not so clean :
You fly, invoke the gods; then turning, ftop>
To rail, fhe finging, ftill whirls on her
Not yet the duft had shunn'd th’unequal strife,
But, aided by the wind, fought ftill for life,
And wafted with its foe by vi'lent guft,
* 'Twas doubtful which was rain, and which was duft.
'Twas doubtful which was fea, and which was sky.
Ah! where muft needy poet feek for aid,
When duft and rain at once his coat invade ?
Sole coat, where duft cemented by the rain
Erects the nap, and leaves a cloudy stain.
Now in contiguous drops, the flood comes down,
Threat'ning with deluge this devoted town.
To shops in crouds the daggled females fly,
Pretend to cheapen goods, but nothing buy..
The templar spruce, while ev'ry spout's abroach, 35
Stays till 'tis fair, yet feems to call a coach.
The tuck'd-up femftrefs walks with hafty ftrides,
While ftreams run down her oil'd umbrella's fides.
Here various kinds, by various fortunes led,
Commence acquaintance underneath a shade.
*Triumphant Tories, and defponding Whigs †,
Forget their feuds, and join to fave their wigs.
Box'd in a chair the beau impatient fits,"
While spouts run clatt'ring o'er the roof by fits;
And ever and anon with frightful din
The leather founds; he trembles from within.
So when Troy chairmen bore the wooden steed,
Pregnant with Greeks impatient to be freed,
(Those bully Greeks, who as the moderns do,
Instead of paying chairmen, run them thro'),
Laocoon ftruck the outfide with his fpear,
And each imprifon'd hero quak'd for fear.
This was written in the first year of the Earl of Oxford's miniftry.
+ As Whig and Wig only differ by an aspiration, which is searce to be diftinguished, it may be thought an exception to the Dean's remarkable exactness, that he has made them rhyme: but the fame thing was afterwards done by Mr Pope, either upon the Dean's authority, or because he did not think it liable to ob. jection;
A joke on Jekyll or fome odd old Whig,
Who never chang'd his principles or Wig.
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