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ON CE N S'U R E.

Written in the year 1727.

YE

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E wise, instruct me to endure

An evil which admits no cure ;
Or how this evil can be born,
Which breeds at once both hate and scorn.
Bare innocence is no support,
When you are try'd in Scandal's court.
Stand high in honour,' wealth, or wit;
All others who inferior fit,
Conceive themselves in conscience bound
To join, and drag you to the ground.
Your altitude offends the eyes
Of those who want the pow'r to rise.
The world, a willing stander-by,
Inclines to aid a specious lie :
Alas, they would not do you wrong,
But all appearances are strong.

Yet whence proceeds this weight we lay.
On what detracting people say ?
For let mankind discharge their tongues
- In venom, till they burst their lungs,
Their utmost malice cannot make
Your head, or tooth, or finger ake ;
Nor spoil your shape, diftort your face,
Or put one feature out of place ;
Nor will you find your fortune fink,
By what they speak, or what they think;
Nor can ten hundred thousand lies
Make you less. virtuous, learn'd, or wise.

The most effectual way to baulk
Their malice, is--to let them talk.

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THE FURNITURE; OF A Woman's MIND.

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Written in the year 1927.
A Set of phrases learn’d by rote ;

A paflion for a scarlet coat ;
When at a play to laugh, or cry,
Yet cannot tell the reason why ;
Never to hold her tongue a minute,
While all the prates has nothing in it;
Whole hours can with a coxcomb fit,
And take his nonsense all for wit;
Her learning mounts to read a song,
But half the words pronouncing wrong ;
Hath ev'ry repartee in store,
She spoke ten thousand times before ;
Can ready compliments supply
On all occasions, cut and dry ;
Such hatred to a parfon's gown,
The fight will put her in a swoon ;
For conversation well endu'd,
She calls it witty to be rude;
And placing raillery in railling,
Will tell aloud your greatest failing;
Nor makes a scruple to expose
Your bandy leg, or crooked nose ;
Can at her morning-tea run o'er
The scandal of the day before";
Improving hourly in her skill,
To cheat and wrangle at quadrille.

In chusing lace a critic nice,
Knows to a groat the lowest price ;
Can in her female clubs dispute,
What linen best the filk will suit,
What colours each complexion match,
And where with art to place a patch.

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IF chance a mouse creeps in her fight,
Can finely counterfeit a fright;
So sweetly screams, if it comes near her,
She ravishes all hearts to hear her.
Can dextroufly her husband teafe,
By taking fits whene'er she please ;
By frequent practice learns the trick
At proper
seasons to be fick

;
thinks nothing give one airs fo pretty,
At once creating love and pity ;
If Molly happens to be careless,
And but neglects to warm her hair-lace,
She gets a cold as fure as death,
And vows she scarce can fetch her breath;
Admires how modest women can
Be so robuftious, like a man.

In party, furious to her pow'r;
A bitter Whig, or Tory four;
Her arguments directly tend
Against the fide she would defend;
Will prove herself a Tory plain,
From principles the Whigs maintain;
And to defend the Whiggish cause,
Her topics from the Tories draws.

O yes * ! if any man can find
More virtues in a woman's mind,
Let them be sent to Mrs Harding 'ti
She'll pay the charges to a farthing :
Take notice, she has my commission
To add them in the next edition;
They may outsell a better thing:
So, holla boys; God save the King.

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O yes: a corruption of oyez, hear ye ; a word used by criers. A Printer,

Clever TOM CLINCH going to be hanged.

Written in the year 1727.

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AS clever Tom Clinch, while the rabble was bawl

ing, Rode stately thro’ Holburn to die in his calling, He stopt at the George for a bottle of fack, And promis'd to pay for it when he came back. His waistcoat, and stockings and breeches were white;

52 His cap had a new cherry ribband to tye't.-, The maids to the doors and the balconies ran, .. And said, Lack-a-day! he's a proper young man. But as from the windows the ladies he spy'd, 9 Like a beau in the box, he bow'd low on each side ; And when his last speech the loud hawkers did cry, He swore from his cart, it was all a damn'd lie. The hangman for pardon fell down on his knee ;Tom gave him a kick in the

guts

for his fee: Then said, I must speak to the people a little, 15 But I'll see you all damn'd before I will whittle t. My honest friend Wild 1, may he long hold his place, . He lengthen'd my life with a whole year of grace. Take.courage, dear comrades, and be not afraid, Nor slip this occasion to follow your trade; My conscience is clear, and my spirits are calm, And thus I go off without pray’s-book or psalm; Then follow the practice of clever Tom Clinch, Who hang like a hero, and never would finch.

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E & 3

+ A cant word for confesling at the gallows.

Jonathan Wild, the noted thief-catcher, under-keeper Newgate, who was hanged for receiving ítölen goods.

On cutting down the old THORN at MAR

KET-HILL*.

Written in the year 1727.

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T Market-bill, as well appears

By chronicle of ancient date, There stood for many a hundred years

A spac ous thorn before the gate. Hither ca.e ev'ry village-maid,

And on the bows her garland hung,
And here, beneath the spreading shade,

Secure from fatyrs fat and sung.
Sir Archibald, + that val'rous knight,

Then lord of all the fruitful plain,
Would come to listen with delight,

For he was fond of rural strain. (Sir Archibald, whose fav'rite name

Shall stand for ages on record, By Scottish bards of highest fame,

Wise Hawthornden and Stirling's Lord 1.) But Time with iron teeth, I ween,

Has canker all its branches round; No fruit or blossom to be seen,

'Its head reclining tow'rds the ground. This aged, fickly, fapless thorn,

Which muft, alas ! no longer fand, Behold the cruel Dean in scorn

Cuts down with facrilegious hand.

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* A village near the seat of Sir Arthur Achefon, where the Dean sometimes made a long visit. * Sir Archibald Acheson, Secretary of State for Scotland.

Drummond of Hawthornden, and Sir William Alexander, Earl of Stirling, who were both friends to Sis Archibald, and famous for their poetry.

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