And, fixthly, for my foul to barter it †, You had good reason, when you stole 'em. 25 Sent by Dr DELANY to Dr SWIFT, in order to be admitted to speak to him, when he was deaf. Written in the year 1724. Dear Sir, I think 'tis doubly hard, Your ears and doors fhould both be barr'd. Can any thing be more unkind? Muft I not fee, 'cause you are blind? Nay, when 'tis plain (for what is plainer ?) THE ANSWER. THE wife pretend to make it clear, Why are we then so fond of two, t(i. e.) Liberty to barter his foul. Hawkef. Lord Carteret, Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. 10 Because, among all human race, None e'er was known to have a brace: That where we find the members twain, Your Rev'rence but to cut one leg off: And you fhall find by this advice, The other will be stronger twice; For ev'ry day you shall be gaining BUT yet the point is not fo clear in 20 30 Yet Galen most acutely fhews youj (Confult his book de partium ufu), That from each ear, as he observes Which near the os pétrosum pals; Thence to the neck and moving thro' there One goes to this, and one to t'other ear, Which made my grand-dame always ftuff her ears, Bb F 35% 40x To t'other ear I felt it coming on: 'Tis true, a glafs will bring fupplies And as for hands, there have been those, Who wanting both, have us'd their toes † ; To furnish artificial ears. A quiet LIFE and a good NAME. To a friend who married a fhrew. Written in the year 1724. Ell fcolded in fo loud a din, NELL That Will durft hardly venture in : He mark'd the conjugal difpute; WHY, Dick! the devil's in thy Nell, (Quoth Will), thy house is worfe than hell: Why, what a peal the jade has rung! Damn her, why don't you flit her tongue ? 45 50 5 10 For nothing else will make it cease, og oft an oval” Dear Will, I fuffer this for peace: I never quarrel with my wife; I bear it for a quiet life. There was about this time a man fhewed, who wrote with his foot. Hawkef Scripture, you know, exhorts us to it; WILL went again to visit Dick; He faw virago Nell belabour, With Dick's own ftaff, his peaceful neighbour: Receiv'd a brace or two of blows. But now, to make my story short, Why, Dick, thy wife has dev'lifh whims ; I'd fend her far enough away Dear Will; but, what would people fay ? The neighbours round would cry out, fhame. DICK fuffer'd for his peace and credit; Dick found it by his ill fuccefs, She stunn'd, and then the broke his pate. And what he thought the hardest cafe, ส. The 'prentices procur❜d a riding † FALSE patience and mistaken pride!. 155 [Some ingenious gentlemen, friends to the author, used to en tertain themselves with writing riddles, and fending them him and their other acquaintance: copies of which ran about, and fome of them were printed both in England and Ireland. The author at his leifure-hours fell into the fame amufement; altho it be faid, that he thought them of no great merit, entertainment, or use. However, by the advice of fome perfons, for whom the author had a great esteem, and who were pleafed to fend the copies, the few following have been published, (which are allowed to be genuine); becaufe we are informed that fe veral good judges have a tafte for fuch kind of compofitions.] IN youth exalted high in air, 11 Or bathing in the waters fair, And dragg'd me from my mother's fide! The tyrant stripp'd me to the fkin; 1 10 Ariding, a humorous cavalcade ftill practifed in fome parts of England, to ridicnie a fcolding wife and henpecked bufband. A woman beftrides the horse, and with a ladle chastises a man, who fits on a pillion behind her, with his face to the horse's tail. Hawkef |