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For if to Michaelmas you stay,
The new-born flesh will melt away;
The 'squires in fcorn will Ay the house
For better game, and look for groufe;
But here, before the froit can mar it,
We'll make it firm with beef and claret...,

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WHITSHED's mot o on his coacht: 3

LIBERTAS ET NATALE SOLUM.

Liberty and my native country.

Written in the year 1724.

Ibertas et natale folum :

Fine words! I wonder where you stole 'em.
Could nothing, but thy chief reproach,
Serve for a motto on thy coach ?.
But let me now the words trandate :

5
Natale folum, my estate;
My dear estate, how well I love it!
My tenants, if you doubt, will prove it:
They swear I am so kind and good,
I hug them, till I squeese their blood.

Libertas bears a large import : First, how to swagger in a court; And, fecondly, to thew my fury Against an uncomplying jury ; And, thirdly, 'tis a new invention

15 To favour Wood, and keep my pension; And, fourthly, 'tis to play an odd trick, Get the great seal, and torn out Brod'rick; And, fifthly, (you know whom I mean), To humble that vexatious Dean;

f The noted Chief Justice who twice prosecuted the Drapier, and dissolved the grand jury for not finding the bill against him. See his letters, in vol. ii.

20

No

And, fixthly, for my soul to barter itt,
For fifty times its worth, to Carteret I.

Now, fince your motto thus you construe,
I muft confess you've spoken once true.
Libertas et natale. folum : '
You had good reason, when you stole 'em.

25

Sent by Dr DelARY to Dr SWIFT, in order to be ad

mitted to speak to him, when he was deaf.

Written in the year 1724.

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DE
Ear Sir, I think 'tis doubly hard, ,

Your ears and doors should both be barr'd.
Can

any thing be more unkind ?
Must I not fee, 'cause you are blind ?
Methinks a friend at night fhould cheer you,
A friend that loves to see and hear you.
Why am I robb'd of that delight,
When you can be no loser by't'?
Nay, when 'tis plain (for what is plainer ?)
That if you heard, you'd be no gainer.
For sure you are not yet to learn,
That bearing is not your concern;
Then be your doors no longer barrid:
Your business, Sir, is to be heard.

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THE ANSWER

THE wise pretend to make it clear,
TH

'Tis no great loss to lose an ear. Why are we then fo fond of two, When, by experience, one would do

"Tis true, say they, cut off the head, And there's an end ; the man is dead;

7

+ si. e.) Liberty to barter his soul. Hawkef: | Lord Carteret, Lord Lieutenant of Ireland.

15

.

Because, among all human race,
None e'er was known to have a brace :
But confidently they maintain,
That where we find the members twain,
The lofs of one is no such trouble,
Since t'other will in strength be double.
The limb surviving, you may swear,
Becomes his brother's lawful heir,
Thus, for a trial, let me beg of
Your Rey’rence but to cut one leg off:
And you shall find by this advice,
The other will be stronger twice ;,
For ev'ry day you shall be gaining.
New vigour to the leg remaining :
So, when an eye hath lost its brother,
You see the better with the other :
Cut off your hand, and you may do
With t'other hand the work of two;
Because the foul her power contracts,
And on the brother-limb reacts.

BUT yet the point is not so clear in
Another case, the fenfe of hearing
For tho' the place of either
Be distant as one head can bear;. ;... i
Yet Galen most acutely shews you,
(Consult his book de partium wu),
That from each ear, as hie obfebves;
There crept two auditory nerves,
Not to be seen without a glass,

35
Which near the os petiofum pals;
Thence to the neck : and moving thro there:
One goes to this, and one to t'other ear,
Which made my grand-dame always ftuff her ears,
Both right and left, as fellow-fufferers..
You see my learning; but to shorten it,
When my left ear was deaf a fortnight,

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Bb F

45

To t'other ear I felt it coming on:
And thus I solve this hard phenomenon.

'Tis true, a glass will bring fupplies
To weak, or old; or clouded eyes :
Your arms, tho' both your eyes were loft,
Would guard your nose againfta poft :
Without your legs, two legs of wood
Are stronger, and almost as good :
And as for hands, there have been those,
Who wanting both, have us'd their toes ti
But no contrivance yet appears :
To furnish artificial ears.

50

A quiet LIFE and a good N A ME.

To a friend who married a threw.

Written in the year 1724.

NE

Ell fcolded in fo loud a din,

That Will darft hardly venture in :
He mark'd the conjugal dispute;
Nell roar'd inceffant, Dick fat mute ;
But when he saw his friend appear,

5
Cry'd bravely, Patience, good my dear.
At fight of Will she bawld no more,
But hurry'd out, and clapp'd the door. !

WHY, Dick! the devil's in thy Nell," } ["ji op! (Quoth Will), thy house is worse than hell: -... 10 Why, what a peal the jade has rung! Damn her, why don't you Ait her tongue ? :) For nothing else will make it cease. Dear Will, I fuffer this for peace : ; I never quarrel with my wife;

15 3 bear it for a quiet life.

+ There was about this time a man shewed, who wrote with his foot. Hawkes

Scripture, you know, exhorts us to it;
Bids us to seek peace, and ensue it.

Will went again to visit Dick ;
And ent’ring in the very nicky
He saw virago Nell belabour,
With Dick's own staff, his peaceful neighbour :
Poor Will, who needs must interpose,
Receiy'd a brace or two of blows.
. But now, to make my story short,

25
Will drew out Dick to take a quart.
Why, Dick, thy wife has dev'lish whims;
Odfbuds, why don't you break her limbs ?
If the were mine, and had fuch tricks,
I'd teach her how to handle sticks :

30 2ds, I would ship her to Jamaica, Or truck the carrion for tobacco : I'd fend her far enough away Dear Will; but what would people fay? Lord! I thould get

35 The neighbours round would cry out, shame.

Dick fuffer'd for his peace and credit;
But who believ'd him, when he said it?
Can he who makes himself a Nave,
Consult his peace, or credit save?
Dick found it by his ill fuccess,
His quiet small, bis credit less.
She ferv'd him at the usual rate;
She stunn'd, and then she broke his

pate. And what he thought the hardeft cafe,

45

1 Bagini 1'::'.
The parish jeerd him to his face ;
Those men who wore the breeches leaft,
Call'd him a cuckold, fool and beaft.
At home he was pursu'd with noise;
Abroad was pelter'a by the boys :
Within, his wife would break his bonesį.
Without, they pelted him with stones :

so ill å name,

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