ESSAY XXIII. he carried her down in a post-chaise, and coming back she helped to carry his knapsack. Miss Racket went down with her lover in their As I see you are fond of gallantry, and seem own phaeton; but upon their return, being very willing to set young people together as soon as you fond of driving, she would be every now and then can, I can not help lending my assistance to your for holding the whip. This bred a dispute: and endeavours, as I am greatly concerned in the at- before they were a fortnight together, she felt that tempt. You must know, sir, that I am landlady he could exercise the whip on somebody else beof one of the most noted inns on the road to Scot-sides the horses. land, and have seldom less than eight or ten couples Miss Meekly, though all compliance to the will a-week, who go down rapturous lovers, and return man and wife. If there be in this world an agreeable situation, it must be that in which a young couple find themselves, when just let loose from confinement, and whirling off to the land of promise. When the post-chaise is driving off, and the blinds are drawn up, sure nothing can equal it. And yet, I do not know how, what with the fears of being pursued, or the wishes for greater happiness, not one of my customers but seems gloomy and out of temper. The gentlemen are all sullen, and the ladies discontented. But if it be so going down, how is it with them coming back? Having been for a fortnight together, they are then mighty good company to be sure. It is then the young lady's indiscretion stares her in the face, and the gentleman himself finds that much is to be done before the money comes in. For my own part, sir, I was married in the usual way; all my friends were at the wedding: I was conducted with great ceremony from the table to the bed; and I do not find that it any ways diminished my happiness with my husband, while, poor man! he continued with me. For my part, I am entirely for doing things in the old family way; I hate your new-fashioned manners, and never loved an outlandish marriage in my life. of her lover, could never reconcile him to the change of his situation. It seems he married her supposing she had a large fortune; but being deceived in their expectations, they parted; and they now keep separate garrets in Rosemary-lane. The next couple of whom I have any account, actually lived together in great harmony and uncloying kindness for no less than a month; but the lady who was a little in years, having parted with her fortune to her dearest life, he left her to make love to that better part of her which he valued more. The next pair consisted of an Irish fortune-hunter, and one of the prettiest modestest ladies that ever my eyes beheld. As he was a well-looking gentleman, all dressed in lace, and as she was very fond of him, I thought they were blessed for life. Yet I was quickly mistaken. The lady was no better than a common woman of the town, and he was no better than a sharper; so they agreed upon a mutual divorce: he now dresses at the York Ball, and she is in keeping by the member for our borough to parliament. In this manner we see that all those marriages in which there is interest on the one side and disobedience on the other, are not likely to promise a large harvest of delights. If our fortune-hunting gentlemen would but speak out, the young lady, instead of a lover, would often find a sneaking As I have had numbers call at my house, you rogue, that only wanted the lady's purse, and not may be sure I was not idle in inquiring who they her heart. For my own part, I never saw any were, and how they did in the world after they left thing but design and falsehood in every one of me. I can not say that I ever heard much good them; and my blood has boiled in my veins, when come of them; and of a history of twenty-five that I saw a young fellow of twenty, kneeling at the feet I noted down in my ledger, I do not know a single of a twenty thousand pounder, professing his pascouple that would not have been full as happy if sion, while he was taking aim at her money. I do they had gone the plain way to work, and asked not deny but there may be love in a Scotch marthe consent of their parents. To convince you of riage, but it is generally all on one side. it, I will mention the names of a few, and refer the rest to some fitter opportunity. Of all the sincere admirers I ever knew, a man of my acquaintance, who, however, did not run away with his mistress to Scotland, was the most so. An old exciseman of our town, who as you may guess, was not very rich, had a daughter, who, as you shall see, was not very handsome. It was the opinion of every body that this young woman would not soon be married, as she wanted two main articles, beauty and fortune. But for all this, Miss Rachel Runfort went off with a grenadier. a very well-looking man, that happened to be travThey spent all their money going down; so that elling those parts, came and asked the exciseman Imprimis, Miss Jenny Hastings went down to Scotland with a tailor, who, to be sure, for a tailor, was a very agreeable sort of a man. But I do not know, he did not take proper measure of the young lady's disposition; they quarrelled at my house on their return; so she left him for a cornet of dragoons, and he went back to his shop-board. . for his daughter in marriage. The exciseman done. He never measures the actions and powers willing to deal openly by him, asked him if he had of others by what himself is able to perform, nor seen the girl; "for," says he, "she is hump- makes a proper estimate of the greatness of his backed."-" Very well," cried the stranger, "that fellows by bringing it to the standard of his own will do for me."-" Ay," says the exciseman, "but incapacity. He is satisfied to be one of a country my daughter is as brown as a berry."-" So much where mighty things have been; and imagines the the better," cried the stranger, "such skins wear fancied power of others reflects a lustre on himself. well."-"But she is bandy-legged," says the ex-Thus by degrees he loses the idea of his own inciseman. "No matter," cries the other; "her pet-significance in a confused notion of the extraordi ticoats will hide that defect,"-"But then she is nary powers of humanity, and is willing to grant very poor, and wants an eye."-"Your description extraordinary gifts to every pretender, because undelights me," cries the stranger: "I have been acquainted with their claims. looking out for one of her make; for I keep an exhibition of wild beasts, and intend to show her off for a Chimpanzee." ESSAY XXIV. This is the reason why demi-gods and heroes have ever been erected in times or countries of ignorance and barbarity: they addressed a people who had high opinions of human nature, because they were ignorant how far it could extend; they addressed a people who were willing to allow that men should be gods, because they were yet imperMANKIND have ever been prone to expatiate in fectly acquainted with God and with man. These the praise of human nature. The dignity of man impostors knew, that all men are naturally fond is a subject that has always been the favourite theme of seeing something very great made from the little of humanity: they have declaimed with that osten- materials of humanity; that ignorant nations are tation which usually accompanies such as are sure not more proud of building a tower to reach heaven, of having a partial audience; they have obtained or a pyramid to last for ages, than of raising up a victories because there were none to oppose. Yet demi-god of their own country and creation. The from all I have ever read or seen, men appear more same pride that erects a colossus or a pyramid, inapt to err by having too high, than by having too stals a god or a hero: but though the adoring savdespicable an opinion of their nature; and by at-age can raise his colossus to the clouds, he can extempting to exalt their original place in the creation, alt the hero not one inch above the standard of hudepress their real value in society. manity: incapable, therefore, of exalting the idol, The most ignorant nations have always been he debases himself, and falls prostrate before him. found to think most highly of themselves. The| When man has thus acquired an erroneous idea Deity has ever been thought peculiarly concerned of the dignity of his species, he and the gods bein their glory and preservation; to have fought come perfectly intimate; men are but angels, angels their battles, and inspired their teachers: their are but men; nay, but servants that stand in waitwizards are said to be familiar with heaven, and ing, to execute human commands. The Persians, every hero has a guard of angels as well as men to for instance, thus address the prophet Hali: "Isaattend him. When the Portuguese first came lute thee, glorious Creator, of whom the sun is but among the wretched inhabitants of the coast of Afri- the shadow. Masterpiece of the Lord of human. ca, these savage nations readily allowed the strangers creatures, Great Star of Justice and Religion. The more skill in navigation and war; yet still consid- sea is not rich and liberal, but by the gifts of thy ered them at best but as useful servants, brought to munificent hands. The angel treasurer of Heaven their coast, by their guardian serpent, to supply reaps his harvest in the fertile gardens of the purity them with luxuries they could have lived without. of thy nature. The primum mobile would never Though they could grant the Portuguese more dart the ball of the sun through the trunk of Heariches, they could never allow them to have such a ven, were it not to serve the morning out of the king as their Tottimondelem, who wore a bracelet extreme love she has for thee. The angel Gabriel, of shells round his neck, and whose legs were messenger of truth, every day kisses the groundsel covered with ivory. of thy gate. Were there a place more exalted than In this manner examine a savage in the history the most high throne of God, I would affirm it to of his country and predecessors, you ever find his be thy place, O master of the faithful! Gabriel, warriors able to conquer armies, and his sages ac- with all his art and knowledge, is but a mere scholar quainted with more than possible knowledge; hu- to thee." Thus, my friend, men think proper to man nature is to him an unknown country; he treat angels; but if indeed there be such an order thinks it capable of great things because he is ig-of beings, with what a degree of satirical contempt norant of its boundaries; whatever can be on- must they listen to the songs of little mortals thus ceived to be done, he allows to be possible, and flattering each other! thus to see creatures, wiser whatever is possible he conjectures must have been indeed than the monkey, and more active than the oyster, claiming to themselves a mastery of Heaven! weakness being forgotten, while nothing but their minims, the tenants of an atom, thus arrogating a power and their miracles were remembered. The partnership in the creation of universal nature! Chinese, for instance, never had a god of their own surely Heaven is kind that launches no thunder at country; the idols which the vulgar worship at this those guilty heads; but it is kind, and regards their day, were brought from the barbarous nations follies with pity, nor will destroy creatures that it around them. The Roman emperors who preloved into being. tended to divinity, were generally taught by a But whatever success this practice of making poniard that they were mortal; and Alexander, demi-gods might have been attended with in bar- though he passed among barbarous countries for a barous nations, I do not know that any man became real god, could never persuade his polite countrya god in a country where the inhabitants were re-men into a similitude of thinking. The Lacedefined. Such countries generally have too close an monians shrewdly complied with his commands by inspection into human weakness to think it invest- the following sarcastic edict: ed with celestial power. 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