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When he eats,
Famine threats !
When he drinks,
Neptune shrinks :
Nigh thy ear,
In mid air,
On thy hand
Let me stand ;

So shall I,
Lofty poet : touch the sky.

A GENTLE ECHO ON WOMAN.*

IN THE DORIC MANNER.

SHEPHERD.
Echo, I ween, will in the woods reply,
And quaintly answer questions: shall I try ?

Echo. Try
SHEPHERD.
What must we do our passion to express ?

Echo. Press.
SHEPHERD.
How shall I please lier who ne'er lor'd before ?

Echo. Before. SHEPHERD. What most moves women when we them address ?

Echo. A dress.

* This writer seems to have beep indebted either to Lord Sterling's Aurora, 4to. 1604; or to “ The Hog hath lost its Pearl.” See Nir, Reed's Note in Dodsley's Old Plaks, vol. vi. p. 420. N.

SHEPHERD.
Say, what can keep her chaste, whom I adore ?

Echo. A door.
SHEPHERD.
If music softens rocks, love tunes my lyre.

Echo. Lyar. SHEPHERD. Then teach me, Echo, how shall I come by her?

Echo. Buy her. SHEPHERD. When bought, no question, I shall be her dear ?

Echo. Her deer. SHEPHERD. But deer have horns: how must I keep her under ?

Echo. Keep her under. SHEPHERD. How shall I hold her, ne'er to part asunder ?

Echo. A-se under. SHEPHERD. But what can glad me, when she’s laid on bier ?

Echo. Beer SHEPHERD. What must I do, when woman will be kind ?

Echo. Be kind. SHEPHERD. What must I do, when woman will be cross ?

Echo. Be cross. SHEPHERD. Lord, what is she, that can so turn and wind ?

Echo. Wind. SHEPHERD. If she be wind, what stills her when she blours ?

Echo. Blows

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SHEPHERD.
But, if she bang again, still should I bang her?

Echo. Bang her.
SHEPHERD.
Is there no way to moderate her anger?

Echo. Hang her.
SHEPHERD.
Thanks, gentle Echo! right thy answers tell
What woman is, and how to guard her well.

Echo. Guard her well.

EPITAPH.

HERE continueth to rot
The body of FRANCIS CHARTRES ;
Who, with an INFLEXIBLE CONSTANCY,
and INIMITABLE UNIFORMITY of life,

PERSISTED,
In spite of age and INFIRMITIES,
In the practice of EVERY HUMAN VICE,

Excepting PRODIGALITY and HYPOCRISY :
His insatiable AVARICE exempted him from the first;

His matchless IMPUDENCE from the second. Nor was hé more singular in the undeviating pravity of his manners, than successful in accumulating

WEALTH :
For, without TRADE OR PROFESSION,

Without TRUST of PUBLIC MONEY,
And without BRIBE-WORTHY SERVICE,
He acquired, or more properly created,

A MINISTERIAL ESTATE.

He was the only person of his time Who could cheat without the mask of HONESTY; Retain his primeval MEANNESS when possessed of

TEN THOUSAND a year' ; And, having daily deserved the GIBBET for what he did, Was at last condemned to it for what he could

not do.

O indigeant reader!
Think not his life useless to mankind !
PROVIDENCE connived at his execrable designs,
To give to after ages a conspicuous PROOF and

EXAMPLE
Of bow small estimation is EXORBITANT WEALTH in

the sight of

GOD,
By his bestowing it on the most UNWORTHY of

ALL MORTALS.

JOHANNES jacet hic Mirandula-cætera nôrunt Et Tagus et Ganges-forsàn et Antipodes.

APPLIED TO F. C.

HERE Francis Chartres lies*bé civil !
The rest God knows-perhaps the Devil.

* Thus applied by Mr. Pope; "Here lies Lord Coningsby." H.

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EPIGRAM.

PETER complains, that God has given

To his poor babe a life so short:
Consider, Peter, he's in Heaven;

'Tis good to have a friend at court.

ANOTHER.

You beat your pate, and fancy wit will come:
Knock as you please, there's nobody at home.

EPITAPH OF BY-WORDS.

HERE lies a round woman, who thought mighty odd
Ev'ry word she e'er heard in this church about God.
To convince her of God the good Dean did endeavour;
But still in her heart she held Nature more clever.
Tho' he talk'd much of virtue, her head always run
Upon something or other she found better fun :
For the dame, by her skill in affairs astronomical,
Imagin'd, to live in the clouds was but comical.
In this world she despis'd ev'ry soul she met here;
And now she's in t'other, she thinks it but queer.

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