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man's natural reason ; for Nemo nascitur artifex, est Summa ratio ; and therefore if all the reason that is: disprised into so many different heads were united into one, he could not make such a law as the law of Eviand; because by many successions af ages it has been firev and defired by grave and leazned men; so tbat the old zule may be vezified in it, Neminem oportet esse legibus sapientorum.
as therefore pyesl borses do not come within the ins tendiment of the Bequest, so neither do they within the letter of the words.
I pyed horse is not a white horse, neither is a pyed a black horse; how then can pyed horses come under the wojds of black and white borses ?
Besides where custom hath adapted a cezcain detezminate name to any one thing, in all devises, feofments, and grants, that certain name shall be made use of, and no uncertain circumlocutory descriptions shall be allowed; for certainty is the father of right, and the mother of justice.
Le reste del argumen jeo ne pouvois oyer, car jeo fui disturb en mon place.
Le court fuit longement en doubt, de c'est matter et apres grand delibezation eu. Judgment fuit donne pour le pl. nisi causa.
Moiou in arrest of Juvigment, that the pyed horses #ere mares; and thepeupon an inspection was prayed.
Et sur ceo le coudt advisare vult.
GOD'S REVENGE AGAINST PUNNING.
Showing the miserable fates of persons addicted to this
crying sin, in court and town.
MANIFOLD have been the judgments, which heaven from time to time, for the chastisement of a sinful people, has inflicted on whole nations. For when the degeneracy becomes common, 'tis but just the punishment should be general; of this kind, in our own unfortunate country, was that destructive pestilence whose mortality was so fatal, as to sweep away, if Sir William Petty may be believed, five millions of christian souls, beside women and Jews.
Such also was that dreadful conflagration ensuing, in this famous metropolis of London, which consumed, according to the computation of Sir Samuel Morland, ope hundred thousand houses, not to mention churches and stables.
Scarce had this unhappy nation recovered these funeste disasters, when the abomination of play-houses rose up in this land; from hence hath an inundation of obscenity flowed from the court and overspread the kingdom: even infants disfigured the walls of holy temples with exorbitant representations of the members of generation; nay, no sooner had they learnt to spell, but they had wickedness enough to write the names thereof in large capitals : an enormity observed by travellers to be found in no country but England.
But when whoring and popery were driven hence by the happy revolution ; still the nation so greatly offended, that Socinianism, Arianism, and Whistonism triumphed in our streets, and were in a manner become universala
And yet still, after all these visitations, it has pleased heaven to visit us with a contagion more epidemical, and of consequence more fatal: this was foretold to us, first by that unparalleled eclipse in 1714: secondly, by the dreadful coruscation in the air this present year: and thirdly, by the nine comets seen at once over Soho square, by Mrs. Katharine Wadlington and others; a contagion that first crept in anong the first quality, descended to their footmen, and infused itself into their ladies : I mean the woful practice of PUNNING. This does occasion the corruptiou of our language, and therein of the word of God translated into our language, which certainly every sober christian must tremble at.
Now such is the enormity of this abomination, that our very nobles not only commit punning over tea, and iu taverns, but even on the Lord's day, and in the king's chapel : therefore to deter men from this evil practice, I shall give some true and dreadful examples of God's revenge against punsters.
The right honourable but it is not safe to insert the name of an eminent nobleman in this paper, yet I will venture to say that such a one has been seen ; which is all we can say, considering the largeness of his sleeves this young nobleman was not only a flagitious puoster himself, but was accessary to the punning of others, by consent, by provocation, by connivance, and by defence of the evil committed; for which the Lord mercifully spared his neck, but as a mark of reprobation wryed his nose.
Another nobleman of great hopes, no less guilty of the same crime, was made the punisher of himself with his own hand, in the loss of five hundred pounds at box and dice; whereby this unfortunate young gentleman incurred the heavy displeasure of his aged grandmother.
A third of no less illustrious extraction, for the same vice, was permitted to fall into the arms of a Dalilah who may one day cut off his curious hair and deliver bim up to the Philistines.
Colonel - an ancient gentleman of grave deportment, gave into this sin so early in his youth, that whenever his tongue endeavours to speak common sense, he hesitates so as not to be understood.
Thomas Pickle, gentleman, for the same crime banishi ed to Minorca.
Muley Hamet, from a healthy and hopeful officer in the army, turned a miserable invalide at Tilburyfort.
Eustace, Esq. for the murder of much of the. king's English in Ireland is quite deprived of his reason, and now remaios a lively iostance of emptiness and rivacity.
Poor Daniel Button for the same offence deprived of kis wits.
One Samuel, an Irishman, for his forward attempt to pun, was stunted in his stature, and hath been visited all his life after with bulls and blunders.
George Simmons, shoemaker at Turnstile in Holborn, tras so given to this custom, and did it with so much siccess, that his neighbours gave out he was a wit. Which report coming among his creditors, no body would trust lim; so that he is now a bankrupt, and his family in a miserable condition.
Divers eminent clergymen of the university of Cambridge, for having propagated this vice, became great drunkards and tories.
A Devonshire man of wit, for only saying in a jesting manner I get up pun a horse, instantly fell down, and brake liis suuff-box and neck, and lost the horse.