As in offence;

But let our plot go forward: let our wives
Yet once again, to make us public sport,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
Where we may take him, and disgrace him for it.
Ford. There is no better way than that they
spoke of.

Page. How! to send him word they'll meet him the park at midnight! fie, fie; he'll never come. Eva. You say, he has been thrown into the rivers; and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman; methinks there should be terrors in him, that he should not come; methinks, his flesh is punished, he shall have no desires.

Page. So think I too.

Mrs. Ford. Devise but how you'll use him when he comes,

And let us two devise to bring him thither.

Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that Herne
the hunter,

Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,
Doth all the winter time, at still midnight,
Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns;
And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle;
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a

chain

In a most hideous and dreadful manner :

Mrs. Page.
The truth being known,
We'll all present ourselves; dis-horn the spirit,
And mock him home to Windsor.
Ford.

The children must
Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.
Eva. I will teach the children their behaviours,
and I will be like a Jack-an-apes also, to burn the
knight with my taber.

Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards.

Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies, Finely attired in a robe of white.

Page. That silk will I go buy ;-and in that time Shall master Slender steal my Nan away,

And

marry her at Eton. [Aside.] Go, send to Falstaff straight.

Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in name of Brook. He'll tell me all his purpose: Sure, he'll come. Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: Go, get us properties."

And tricking for our fairies.

Eva. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries.

[Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and EVANS.
Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford,
Send quickly to Sir John, to know his mind.
[Exit MRS. FORD.
I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will,

You have heard of such a spirit; and well you know, And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
The supers tious idle-headed eld"
Received, and did deliver to our age,
This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do fear
In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak ;'
But what of this?

Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device;
That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us,
Disguised like Herne, with huge horns on his head.
Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come,
And in this shape: When you have brought him
thither,

What shall be done with him? what is your plot?
Mrs. Page. That likewise have we thought upon,
and thus:

4

my

Nan Page my daughter, and
little son,
And three or four more of their growth, we'll dress
Like urchins, ouphes, and fairies, green and white,
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
And rattles in their hands; upon a sudden,
As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once
With some diffused' song; upon their sight,
We two in great amazedness will fly :
Then let them all encircle him about,
And, fairy-like, to-pinch the unclean knight;
And ask him, why, that hour of fairy revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread,
In shape profane.

Mrs. Ford.

And till he tell the truth, Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound,' And burn him with their tapers.

1 To take signifies to seize or strike with a disease, to blast. So, in Lear, Act ii. Sc. 4:

That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot;
And he my husband best of all affects:
The doctor is well money'd, and his friends
Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have her,
Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her.

[Exit.

SCENE V. A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter Host and SIMPLE.

Host. What would'st thou have, boor? what thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

Sim. Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from master Slender.

9

Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: Go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee: Knock, I say.

Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come down: I come to speak with her, indeed.

Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully Sir John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.

Fal. [above.] How now, mine host?

Host. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: Let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable: Fye! privacy? fye!

occurs in this sense: "speak you Welsh to him: I doubt not but thy speech shall be more diffuse to him, than his 'Strike her young bones, ye taking airs, with lame-French shall be to thee." Cotgrave explains diffused

ness.'

And in Hamlet, Act. i. Sc. 1:

"No planets strike, No fairy takes, no witch has power to charm." "Of a horse that is taken. A horse that is bereft of his feeling, moving, or stirring, is said to be taken, and in sooth so he is, in that he is arrested by so villanous a disease: yet some farriers, not well understanding the ground of the disease, conster the word taken to be stricken by some planet, or evil spirit, which is false." -C. vii. Markham on Horses, 1595. Thusalso in Horman's Vulgaria, 1519. "He is taken, or benomed. Attonitus est."

2 Old age.

3 The tree which was by tradition shown as Herne's oak; being totally decayed, was cut down by his late majesty's order in 1795.

Elf, hobgoblin.

by the French diffus, espars, obscure, and in Cooper's Dictionary, 1584, I find obscurum interpreted obscure, difficult, diffuse, hard to understand." Skelton uses diffuse several times for strange or obscure; for instance, in the Crown of Laurel :

"Perseus pressed forth with problems diffuse."

6 To-pinch to has here an augmentative sense, like be has since had: all was generally prefixed, Spenser has all to-torn, all to-rent, &c. and Milton in Coinus alt to-ruffled.

7 Sound, for soundly, the adjective used as an adverb 8 Properties are little incidental necessaries to a thea. tre: tricking is dress or ornament.

9 The usual furniture of chambers, at that time, was a standing-bed, under which was a trochle, truckle, or running bed: from trochlea, a low wheel or castor. In the standing bed lay the master, in the truckle the ser

vant.

5 Some diffused song, appears to mean some obscure 10 i. e. a cannibal: mine host uses these fustian words strange song. In Cavendish's Life of Wolsey the word to astonish Simple.

Enter FALSTAFF. Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone.

Sim. Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of Brentford?

Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell; What would you with her?

Sim. My master, sir, my master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go through the streets, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain, or no.

Fal. I spake with the old woman about it.
Sim. And what says she, I pray, sir?

Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man that beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozened

him of it.

Fal. I would all the world might be cozened, for I have been cozen'd and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgeled, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I forswore myself at PriWell, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.Enter MRS. QUICKLY.

mero.4

Now! whence come you?

Quick. From the two parties, forsooth. Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestowed! I have

Sim. I would I could have spoken with the wo-suffered more for their sakes, more than the villaman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal. What are they? let us know.
Host. Ay, come; quick.

Sim. I may not conceal them, sir.
Fal. Conceal them, or thou diest.

Sim. Why, sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know if it were my master's fortune to have her, or no.

Fal. "Tis, 'tis his fortune.
Sim. What, sir?

Fal. To have her, or no: Go; say, the woman told me so.

Sim. May I be so bold to say so, sir?
Fal. Ay, Sir Tike; who more bold?
Sim. I thank your worship: I shall make my

nous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear.

Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant, speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.

Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue! I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow, and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch. deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me i' the

Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber; you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you toto your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. master glad with these tidings. [Exit SIMPLE.gether! Sure, one of you does not serve leaven Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John: Was there a wise woman with thee?

Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning

:

Enter BARDOLPH.

Bard. Out, alas, sir! cozenage! mere cozenage! Host. Where be my horses? speak well of them, varletto.

Bard. Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.

well, that you are so crossed.

Fal. Come up into my chamber. [Exeunt
SCENE VI Another Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter FENTON and HOST.

Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, I will give over all.

Fent. Yet hear me speak: Assist me in my pur-
pose,

And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee
A hundred pound in gold, more than your loss.
Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and I
will, at the least, keep your counsel.

Fent. From time to time I have acquainted 704 With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page, Who, mutually, hath answer'd my affection Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, vil-(So far forth as herself might be her chooser,) lain: do not say, they be fled; Germans are honest

men.

Enter SIR HUGH EVANS.

me,

Eva. Where is mine host? Host. What is the matter, sir? Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells there is three cousin germans, that has cozened all the hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for good-will, look you: you are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stogs; and it is not convenient you should be cozened: Fare you well. [Exit.

dat

Even to my wish: I have a letter from her
Of such contents as you will wonder at;
The mirth whereof so larded with my matter,
That neither, singly, can be manifested,
Without the show of both;--wherein fat Falstaff
Hath a great scene: the image of the jest
[Showing the letter.
To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one
I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host:
Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen;
The purpose why, is here; in which disguise,
While other jests are something rank on foot,
Her father hath commanded her to slip
Away with Slender, and with him at Eton w
Immediately to marry: she hath consented:
Now, sir,

Her mother, even strong against that match,
And firm for doctor Caius, hath appointed
That he shall likewise shuffle her away,

Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat : but it is tell-a me, you make grand preparations for a duke de Jar-While other sports are tasking of their minds, many: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat the court is And at the deanery, where a priest attends, know to come; I tell you for good vill: adieu. Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath Made promise to the doctor ;-Now, thus it rests: Her father means she shall be all in white; And in that habit, when Slender sees his time guage: Seven of the eleven I paid,' says Falstaff, in Henry IV. Part 1.

[Exit. Host. Hue and cry, villain, go:-assist me, knight; I am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone ! [Exeunt Host and BARDOLPH.

1 He calls poor Simple muscle-shell, because he stands with his mouth open. 2 i. e. Scholar-like.

3 To pay, in Shakspeare's time, signified to beat; in which sense it is still not uncommon in familiar lan

4 Primero was the fashionable game at cards in Shakspeare's time. 5 In the letter

To take her by the hand, and bid her go,
She shall go with him :-her mother hath intended,
The better to denote her to the doctor
(For they must all be mask'd and vizarded,)
That, quaint' in green she shall be loose enrob'd,
With ribands pendant, flaring 'bout her head;
And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,
To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token,
The maid hath given consent to go with him.
Host. Which means she to deceive? father or
mother?

Fent. Both, ray good host, to go along with me:
And here it rests,-that you'll procure the vicar
To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one,
And, in the lawful name of marrying,
To give our hearts united ceremony.

Host. Well, husband your device; I'll to the

vicar:

Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.
Fent. So shall I ever more be bound to thee;
Besides, I'll make a present recompense. [Exeunt.

ACT V.

SCENE I. A Room in the Garter Inn.

FALSTAFF and MRS. QUICKLY.

Shal. That's good too: But what needs either your mum, or her budget; the white will decipher her well enough.-It hath struck ten o'clock.

Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil," and we shall know him by his horns. Let's away; follow me. [Exeunt. SCENE III. The Street in Windsor. Enter MRS. PAGE, MRS. FORD, and Dr. CAIUS.

Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in green; when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and despatch it quickly: Go before into the park; we two must go together.

Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adieu.

Mrs. Page. Fare you well, sir. [Exit CAIUS.] My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff, as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a great deal of heart-break.

Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? and the Welsh devil, Hugh?

Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit bard by Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which at the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they will Enter at once display to the night.

Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns. Fal. Away, I say; time wears: hold up your [Exit MRS. QUICKLY. Enter FORD. How now, master Brook? Master Brook, the mater will be known to-night, or never. Be you in ne Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you

shall see wonders.

Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me you had appointed?

Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him. Mrs. Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be

mocked.

Eva. Trib, trib, fairies; come; and remember your parts: be pold, I pray you; follow me into the pit; and when I give the watch-'ords, do as I pid you; Come, come; trib, trib. [Exeunt. SCENE V. Another part of the Park. Enter FALSTAFF disguised, with a buck's head on. Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute draws on: Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me :-Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; love set on thy horns-O powerful love! that, in some respects, makes a beast a man; in some other, a man a beast.-You were also, Jupi Iter, a swan, for the love of Leda ;-0, omnipotent love! how near the god drew to the complexion of a goose?-A fault done first in the form of a beast ;-O Jove, a beastly fault! and then another fault in the semblance of a fowl; think on't, Jove; a foul fault.-When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the forest: send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? my doe?

Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see,
like a poor old man: but I came from her, master
Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave,
Ford, her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jea-
lousy in him, master Brook, that ever governed
frenzy. I will tell you.-He beat me grievously,
in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man,
master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's
beam; because I know also, life is a shuttle.
am in haste; go along with me; I'll tell you all,
master Brook. Since I plucked geese, played
truant, and whipped top, I knew not what it was to
be beaten, till lately. Follow me: I'll tell you strange
things of this knave Ford: on whom to-night I will
be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your
hand.-Follow: Strange things in hand, master
Brook! follow.
[Exeunt.
Enter PAGE,

SCENE II. Windsor Park.
SHALLOW, and SLENDER.
Page. Come, come; we'll couch i'the castle-ditch,
till we see the light of our fairies.-Remember, son
Slender, my daughter.

we have a nay-words how to know one another. I
Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and
come to her in white, and cry, mum; she cries,
budget; and by that we know one another.

1 Quaint, here, may mean neatly, or elegantly, which were ancient acceptations of the word, and not fantastically: but either sense will suit.

2 Keep to the time.

Enter MRS. FORD and MRS. PAGE.

Mrs. Ford. Sir John? art thou there, my deer? my male deer?

Fal. My doe with the black scut?-Let the sky let there come a tempest of provocation, I will rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Green Sleeves; hail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; shelter me here. [Embracing her.

7 Page indirectly alludes to Falstaff, who was to have horns on his head.

8 This is technical. "During the time of their rut the harts live with small sustenance.-The red mushroome

3 i. e. walk to mince signified to walk with affected helpeth well to make them pysse their greace they are delicacy.

4 An allusion to the Book of Job, c. vii. v. 6. My days are swifter than a weaver's shuttle." 5 To strip a wild goose of its feathers was formerly an act of puerile barbarity.

6 Watchword.

then in so vehement heat."-Turterville's Book of Hunting, 15,5.

9 The sweet potato was used in England as a delica. cy long before the introduction of the common potato by Sir Walter Raleigh in 1586. It was imported in considerable uantities from Spain and the Canaries and

Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, | And, Hony soit qui mal y pense, write,

Ford. Now, sir, who's a cuckold now ?-Master Brook, Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldy knave; here are his horns, master Brook: And, master Brook, he hath enjoyed nothing of Ford's but his buckbasket, his cudgel, and twenty pounds of money, which must be paid to master Brook; his horses are arrested for it, master Brook.

Mrs. Ford. Sir John, we have had ill luck, we could never meet. I will never take you for my love again, but I will always count you my deer.

Fal. I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass.
Ford. Ay, and an ox too; both the proofs are

extant.

Fal. And these are not fairies? I was three or four times in the thought, they were not farries: and yet the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my powers, drove the grossness of the foppery into a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now, how wit may be made a Jack-a-lent, when 'tis upon ill employment!

Eva. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your desires, and fairies will not pinse you.

Ford. Well said, fairy Hugh.

Eva. And leave you your jealousies too, I pray

you.

Ford. I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art able to woo her in good English.

Fal. Have I laid my brain in the sun, and dried it, that it wants matter to prevent so gross o'erreaching as this? Am I ridden with a Welsh goat too? Shall I have a coxcomb of frize? 'tis time I were choked with a piece of toasted cheese.

Eva. Seese is not good to give putter; your pelly is all putter.

Enter SLENDER.

Slen. Whoo! ho! ho! father Page. Page. Son! how now? how now, son? have you despatched?

Slen. Despatched!-I'll make the best in Gloucestershire know on't; would I were hanged, a, else.

Page. Of what, son?

Slen. I came yonder at Eton to marry mistress Anne Page, and she's a great lubberly boy. If it had not been i' the church, I would have swinged him, or he should have swinged me. If I did not think it had been Anne Page, would I might never stir, and 'tis a post-master's boy.

Page. Upon my life then you took the wrong. Slen. What need you tell me that? I think so, when I took a boy for a girl: If I had been married to him, for all he was in woman's apparel, I would not have had him.

Page. Why this is your own folly. Did not I tell you, how you should know my daughter by her garments?

Slen. I went to her in white, and cry'd mum, and and yet it was not Anne, but a post-master's boy. she cry'd budget, as Anne and I had appointed;

Eva. Jeshu! Master Slender, cannot you see but marry boys?

Page. O, I am vexed at heart: What shall I do? Mrs. Page. Good George, be not angry: I knew of your purpose; turned my daughter into green; and, indeed, she is now with the doctor at the dean ery, and there married.

Fal. Seese and putter! Have I lived to stand at the taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This is enough to be the decay of lust and late walk-san, ing through the realm.

Mrs. Page. Why, Sir John, do you think, though we would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the head and shoulders, and have given ourselves without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could have made you our delight?

Ford. What, a hodge-pudding? a bag of flax?
Mrs. Page. A puffed man?

Page. Old, cold, witnered, and of intolerable entrails?

Ford. And one that is as slanderous as Satan?
Page. And as poor as Job?

Ford. And as wicked as his wife?

Eva. And given to fornifications and to taverns, and sack and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings, and swearings and starings, pribbles and prabbles?

of me;

Fal. Well, I am your theme; you have the start I am dejected; I am not able to answer the Welsh flannel; ignorance itself is a plummet o'er me: use me as you will.

Ford. Marry, sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to one master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to whom you should have been a pander: over and above that you have suffered, I think, to repay that money will be a biting affliction.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, husband, let that go to make amends;

Forgive that sum, and so we'll all be friends.

Ford. Well, here's my hand; all's forgiven at last. Page. Yet be cheerful, knight: thou shalt eat a posset to-night at my house; where I will desire thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee:4 Tell her, master Slender hath married her daughter. Mrs. Page. Doctors doubt that: If Anne Page be my daughter, she is, by this, doctor Caius' wife. [Aside.

gum, 'a thing made with forkes, like a gallowes, a frame whereon vines are joyned.'

1 i. e. a fool's cap made out of Welsh materials. Wales was famous for this cloth.

2 The very word flannel is derived from a Welsh one, and it's almost unnecessary to add that it was originally the manufacture of Wales.

Enter CAIUS.

Caius. Vere is mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened: I ha' married un garcon, a boy; un paiby gar, a boy; it is not Anne Page: by gar, I am cozened.

Mrs. Page. Why, did you take her in green?
Caius. Ay, be gar, and 'tis a boy; be gar, I'll
raise all Windsor.
[Erit CAIUS.
Ford. This is strange! Who hath got the right
Anne?
Page. My heart misgives me: Here comes mas-
ter Fenton.

Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE.
How now, master Fenton?

Anne. Pardon, good father! good my mother,
pardon!

Page. Now, mistress? how chance you went not with master Slender?

Mrs. Page. Why went you not with master doctor, maid?

Fent. You do amazes her: Hear the truth of it.
You would have married her most shamefully,
Where there was no proportion held in love.
The truth is, she and I, long since contracted,
Are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us.
The offence is holy that she hath committed:
And this deceit loses the name of craft,
Of disobedience, or undutious title;
Since therein she doth evitate and shun
A thousand irreligious cursed hours,
Which forced marriage would have brought upon
her.

Ford. Stand not amaz'd: here is no remedy:-
In love, the heavens themselves do guide the state;
Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate.

Fal. I am glad, though you have ta'en a special stand to strike at me, that your arrow hath glanced. Page. Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven give

thee joy!

What cannot be eschew'd, must be embrac❜d.

3 Ignorance itself weighs me down, and oppresses me 4 Dr. Johnson remarks, that the two plots are excel lently connected, and the transition very artfully made in this speech.

5 Confound her by your questions.
6 Avoid