EPILOGUE.*

SPOKEN BY MRS. BULKLEY.

As puffing quacks some caitiff wretch procure
To swear the pill or drop has wrought a cure ;
Thus, on the stage, our play-wrights still depend
For epilogues and prologues on some friend,
Who knows each art of coaxing up the town,
And makes full many a bitter pill go down.
Conscious of this, our bard has gone about,
And teased each rhyming friend to help him out:
An epilogue! things can't go on without it!
It could not fail, would you but set about it:
'Young man,' cries one (a bard laid up in clover),
'Alas! young man, my writing days are over!
Let boys play tricks, and kick the straw, not I;
Your brother-doctor there, perhaps, may try.'
What I, dear sir?' the Doctor interposes,
What, plant my thistle, sir, among his roses!
No, no, I've other contests to maintain ;
To-night I head our troops at Warwick-Lane.

Go, ask your manager.'- Who, me? Your pardon;
Those things are not our forte at Covent Garden.'

*The author, in expectation of an Epilogue from a friend at Oxford, deferred writing one himself till the very last hour. What is here offered, owes all its success to the graceful manner of the actress who spoke it.

Our author's friends, thus placed at happy distance
Give him good words indeed, but no assistance.
As some unhappy wight, at some new play,
At the pit-door stands elbowing a way,

While oft, with many a smile, and many a shrug,
He eyes the centre, where his friends sit snug ;
His simpering friends, with pleasure in their eyes,
Sinks as he sinks, and as he rises rise:

He nods, they nod; he cringes, they grimace;
But not a soul will budge to give him place.
Since, then, unhelp'd, our bard must now conform
To 'bide the pelting of this pitiless storm,'
Blame where you must, be candid where you can,
And be each critic the Good-Natured Man.

SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER;

OR,

THE MISTAKES OF A NIGHT.

A COMEDY.

She Stoops to Conquer was represented for the first time, March 15, 1773. It was very successful, and became a stock play. Goldsmith originally entitled it, The Old House a New Inn.

DEDICATION.

TO SAMUEL JOHNSON, LL. D.

DEAR SIR-By inscribing this slight performance to you, I do not mean so much to compliment you as myself. It may do me some honor to inform the public, that I have lived many years in intimacy with you. It may serve the interests of mankind also to inform them that the greatest wit may be found in a character, without impairing the most unaffected piety.

I have, particularly, reason to thank you for your partiality to this performance. The undertaking a comedy, not merely sentimental, was very dangerous; and Mr. Colman, who saw this piece in its various stages, always thought it so. However, I ventured to trust it to the public; and, though it was necessarily delayed till late in the season, I have every reason to be grateful.

I am, dear Sir,

Your most sincere friend and admirer,

OLIVER GOLDSMITH.

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.

MEN,

Sir Charles Marlow.

Young Marlow (his son.)

Hardcastle.

Hastings.

Tony Lumpkin.

Diggory.

WOMEN.

Mrs. Hardcastle.

Miss Hardcastle

Miss Neville.

Maid.

Landlord, Servants, etc.

SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER ;

OR,

THE MISTAKES OF A NIGHT.

PROLOGUE.

BY DAVID GARRICK, ESQ.

Enter Mr. Woodward, dressed in black, and holding a hundkerchief to his eyes.

Excuse me, sirs, I pray — I can't yet speak -
I'm crying now and have been all the week.
"Tis not alone this mourning suit,' good masters:
'I've that within,' for which there are no plasters!
Pray, would you know the reason why I'm crying?
The Comic Muse, long sick, is now a-dying!

And if she goes, my tears will never stop;
For, as a player, I can 't squeeze out one drop;
I am undone, that 's all-shall lose

I'd rather

- shall lose my bread but that's nothing — lose - lose my head. When the sweet maid is laid upon the bier, Shuter and I shall be chief mourners here. To her a mawkish drab of spurious breed, Who deals in sentimentals, will succeed. Poor Ned and I are dead to all intents; We can as soon speak Greek as sentiments: Both nervous grown, to keep our spirits up,