FAMILY GOVERNMENT. 245 participated in the exercises, and contributed to the general joy; and all found that home, humble indeed in some respects, the brightest spot on the green earth. Chil By pursuing the course suggested, an important point in effectual moral training is gained, namely, the love and confi dence of the children. This is of more consequence than is generally supposed. A very useful preacher was once asked, how it was, that he succeeded so well. He replied, that "when he went to a new place, he first made the people love him and then he was enabled to make them love his Master." This is sound philosophy. He who begins his labors by taking a course to disgust, and thus to create prejudice against himself, will have occasion to lament his want of success, when it is too late to remedy the mistake. The result of a course calculated to impair, or destroy confidence in his moral integrity will be the same. But the course recommend 'd has no such tendency. Wrong in every case is to be scrupulously avoided. The recreations are all innocent in themselves, and tend to no bad results. The objects aimed at, namely, improvement, mutual love and joy at home, are all consistent with the highest state of moral excellence. dren never suspect the piety of their parents, merely because they strive to make them happy. They rather regard it as one proof of their goodness, and are, therefore, the more attentive and confiding. Beside giving them the stimulus of affection to regard parental advice, it impels them by a sense of obligation. They feel that the efforts of their parents to please, have imposed on them an obligation to obey and please their parents. Instruction given under these circunstances will be remembered as long as the love that prompts it, or the feelings with which it is received. And, more, it will be remembered with respect and veneration. The youth who calls to mind instructions he was forced by arbitrary authority to practice, while at home, will be apt to say, "now that I am free, I will do as I please." But he who cannot think of those instructions, without at the same time being impressed with the love which inspired and accompanied them, and the pleasure with which they were received, will be affected very differently. He can but feel distressed with a sense of his ingratitude, in having trampled them under his feet, and compelled by the sweet force of love and veneration contracted in earlier days, to return to the paths of virtue, from which he may have departed. 246 FAMILY GOVERNMENT. For parents to acquire and maintain this position in reference to their children, requires much effort. It is important in the outset to have the most perfect self-control. If they suffer their passions to rule them, they will do many things detrimental both to their influence and object. Too much fault-finding, undeserved and unreasonable punishments, and ill-tempered and irreverent children, will be the inevitable results. But who is sufficient for these things? What parent is able by dint of mere resolution to maintain the equanimity and deliberation requisite to endure the numerous trials and vexations incident to his situation? Not one. This power cometh from God alone. The situation of parents, of mothers especially, is one of the most trying. Ordinary grace is not sufficient. Unless they have an abiding consciousness of the divine presence and blessing, they will often find themselves. wanting. They need, therefore, the deepest devotion, the most entire consecration practicable. This is also necessary in the religious education of their children. The remarks of Mr. Abbott to parents, on this point, are very appropriate. He says, "It is certainly vain to hope that you can induce your children to fix their affections upon another world, while yours are fixed upon this. Your example will counteract all the influence of your instructions. Unless christian feelings animate your heart, it is folly to expect, that you can instil those principles into the hearts of your children. They will imitate your example. They confide in your guidance. That little child which God has given you and which is so happy in your affection, feels safe in cherishing those feelings which he sees you are cherishing. To accomplish much in any pursuit there must be a mind for the work. But without a lively sense of spiritual things, no one can have this. Therefore if parents would control themselves and be successful in the religious training of their children, they must cultivate the spirit of piety and devotion in their own hearts. Lynn, Mass., Oct., 1843. DISCIPLINE. Take that forward child in hand, at once, or you will soon have to be his suppliant rather than his guide. The old way was perhaps too rugged, where every thing was accomplished by mere dint of authority; but the new way is as bad on the other side; no man is reduced to the necessity of choosing an extreme. THE FAMILY SCHOOL. 247 [Written for the Mother's Assistant.] THE FAMILY SCHOOL. BY CHARLES HOLDEN. Passing through one of our streets at twilight, a few evenings since, I met a child of about six years weeping bitterly. I turned, and asked him the cause. As well as he could for grief, he told me that he had just been home, and could not find his mother there; and he had come into the street to weep and to bewail his loss! I tried to convince the little fellow that she would return no doubt in a few minutes, but "he would not be comforted." His mother was his world; and he knew not where she was. As I passed on, I reflected on the wonderful power a mother has over her child, up to the age of six or eight years. The manifestations of this love, may not always be so boisterous as in the case mentioned, but the mother is to the child his hope and his refuge. With this power over his heart-to which no one beside can approach, or none can obliterate-does it not often occur to the mother, that she can mould the mind of her child as she pleases? If it does not, it should. I well remember when a child myself, that the severest punishment I suffered was, when my mother kept me at home without her presence. With this full possession of the unpledged affections of her offspring, the mother, if she be judicious, may fashion her child after her own heart. It requires thought-sober, prayerful thought, to know how best to lead captive and subdue the wayward passions of youth. But what more noble and pleasing employment can a mother assume than this? To say nothing of the duty-which is so imperative that no one can innocently escape it-how great is the pleasure of taking innocent, lovely children to your side, and, by asking them simple, pertinent questions, to lead them on to truth and knowledge. Said a mother to her sou-when he was committing an of fence "My child, God sees you and will not love you, if you do thus; it is wrong."" Mother, said the artless little one," I shall go into the closet and do it. It is dark there, and God cannot see me." The mother smiled, thought the remark was a witty one, and made no reply. But how erroneous was this in the mother. What an opportunity was lost, to have reasoned with that little fellow (for he evidently could reason, and chil 248 THE FAMILY SCHOOL. dren can do so much earlier in life than many think)-and in a familiar lesson to have taught him what he would never forget the leading features of God's omnipotence. The child already well knew that he could not see objects in the dark, and gave God no higher power than himself in this respect. The subject was easily opened for interesting and instructive conversation. "Mother, how do flies walk on the wall ?" said a child. Here was an opportunity to teach him the power of insects-and from that to pass pleasantly to other subjects. "What makes it rain to-day?" was another inquiry. What an interesting subject for a child. It need not interrupt a mother's necessary avocations to talk to him-but it would rather lighten them to be so nobly employed. How easy to inform it, in simple language, of the exhalation of vapor and its formation into clouds, which, when they become so heavy as to fall near the earth, would come down in large drops upon it—and also of its utility. Sometimes the mother might hear questions which she could not well answer; but such questions would have their use. They would induce her to read, as opportunity offered, that she might be prepared to gratify the thirst for knowledge manifested by her child. How much the mother would learn by thus communing with him. But, it is too often the case, that she thoughtlessly exclaims, when her child begins to make inquiries- Don't plague me with questions now don't you see how busy I am?" As though the questions of your own child, should ever be deemed a plague. Talk of sending children to school at four years of age. Where is the school to be found (with only its long benches, . and its pupils placed upright upon them, except when they are taken out to puzzle over their letters, or be punished for some childish freak)-like the school-house at home, with the tender mother as the mistress, whom the little scholars may question and confide in? He will really learn more in one day, in such a situation, properly managed, than during months in a school-room, at that age. Mothers should think of this, and attach great importance to it. The child, of course, should not be pressed into the business-but should be led to it gently, under the belief that it is a high privilege to ask questions, and comment on the answers. What a noble sentiment was that of JOHN ADAMS, which he conveyed to his wife, when public duties for a time separat TO A RELIGIOUS FAIR, MANY YEARS UNITED. 249 ed him from his family. Said he "The education of our children is never out of my mind. Train them to virtue-habituate them to industry, activity and spirit. Make them consider every vice as shameful and unmanly. Fire them with ambition to be useful. Make them disdain to be destitute of any useful knowledge." What a valuable lesson is this-coming as it does from a man who had reached the highest summit of human greatness! Every parent should treasure it up, and keep it constantly in the mind. If all of us who are parents, would make this sentiment true, so far as we are concerned, what a lovely face would society present-" The education of my children is never out of my mind." Portland, Me., Oct., 1843. [Written for the Mother's Assistant.] TO A RELIGIOUS PAIR, MANY YEARS UNITED. BY MRS. L. H. SIGOURNEY. This transient life the sages say, At best is but a wintry day; Yet when two hearts with courage true, Their love an inward light can lend, When clouds grow dark, and rains descend. Yea, more, if with united breast, On Bethlehem's star their hopes do rest, With faith their friend, and Heaven their guide. While months and seasons fled away, And may it form your bliss on high, Where years and storms and time shall die. Hartford, Ct., Oct., 1843. DAUGHTERS.-On account of the few lucrative employments which are left to the female sex, and consequently the little opportunity they have of adding to their income, daughters ought to be the particular objects of a parent's cure and foresight; and as an option of marriage, from which they can reasonably expect happiness, is not presented to every woman who deserves it, especially in times in which a licentious celibacy is in fashion with men, a father should endeavor to enable his daughters to lead a single life with independence and decorum, even though he subtract more for that purpose from the portions of his sons, than is agreeable to modern usage, or than they expect.-Dr. Paley. |