Excuse the materials-though rotten and bad, They're the best that for money just now could be had; And, if echo the charm of such houses should be You will find it shall echo my speech to a T. As for actors, we've got the old Company yet, The same motley, odd, tragi-comical set; 51 And consid'ring they all were but clerks t'other day, THE SALE OF THE TOOLS. Instrumenta regni.-TACITUS. HERE'S a choice set of Tools for you, Ge❜mmen and Ladies, They'll fit you quite handy, whatever your trade is; (Except it be Cabinet-making ;—no doubt, In that delicate service they're rather worn out; Though their owner, bright youth! if he'd had his own will, Would have bungled away with them joyously still.) You can see they've been pretty well hack'd-and alack! What tool is there job after job will not hack? But you'll find them good hard-working Tools, upon trying, Wer't but for their brass, they are well worth the buying; They're famous for making blinds, sliders, and screens, And are, some of them, excellent turning machines. The first Tool I'll put up (they call it a Chancellor) Heavy concern to both purchaser and seller. Though made of pig iron, yet worthy of note 'tis, "Tis ready to melt at a half minute's notice." Who bids? Gentle buyer! 'twill turn as thou shapest; Twill make a good thumb-screw to torture a Papist; To pay ready money you shan't be distress'd, Come, where's the next Tool?-Oh! 'tis here in a trice This implement, Ge'mmen, at first was a Vice; Might at last cost their owner-how much? why a Crown! The next Tool I'll set up has hardly had handsel or Away then, cheek by jowl, Little Man and little Soul Trial as yet, and is also a Chancellor Such dull things as these should be sold by the Went and spoke their little speech to a tittle, tittle, REINFORCEMENTS FOR LORD WELLINGTON. Suosque tibi commendat Troja Penates Hos cape fatorum comites. VIRGIL. 1813. As recruits in these times are not easily got, we not, As the last and, I grant it, the worst of our loans to him, Ship off the Ministry, body and bones to him? We may thus make them useful to England at last. IN the dirge we sung o'er him no censure was heard, Unembitter'd and free did the tear-drop descend; We forgot, in that hour, how the statesman had err'd, And wept for the husband, the father, and friend. Oh, proud was the meed his integrity won, And gen'rous indeed were the tears that we shed, When, in grief, we forgot all the ill he had done, And, though wrong'd by him, living, bewail'd him, when dead. Even now, if one harsher emotion intrude, "Tis to wish he had chosen some lowlier state, Had known what he was-and, content to be good, Had ne'er, for our ruin, aspired to be great. In that Palace or China-shop (Brighton, which is CASTLEREAGH, (whom FUM calls the Confucius of it?) Where FUM had just come to pay Huм a short visit Near akin are these Birds, though they differ in nation, (The breed of the HUMS is as old as creation ;) Both, full-craw'd Legitimates-both, birds of prey, Both, cackling and ravenous creatures, half way "Twixt the goose and the vulture, like Lord CASTLE REAGH. While FUM deals in Mandarins, Bonzes, Bohea, Peers, Bishops, and Punch, HUM, are sacred to thee! So congenial their tastes, that, when FUM first did light on The floor of that grand China-warehouse at Brighton, The lanterns, and dragons, and things round the dome Were so like what he left, "Gad," says FUм, "I'm at home." Prose,) And when, turning, he saw Bishop L- -GE, YES, grief will have way-but the fast falling tear "Zooks, it is," Quoth the Bird, "Yes-I know him-a Bonze, by his phiz “And that jolly old idol he kneels to so low "Can be none but our round-about godhead, fat Fo!" It chanced at this moment, th' Episcopal Prig Was imploring the PRINCE to dispense with his wig, Which the Bird, overhearing, flew high o'er his head, And some TOBIT-like marks of his patronage shed, Which so dimm'd the poor Dandy's idolatrous eye, That, while FUм cried "Oh Fo!" all the court cried "Oh fie!" But, a truce to digression;-these Birds of a feather Thus talk'd, t'other night, on State matters together; (The PRINCE just in bed, or about to depart for't, His legs full of gout, and his arms full of HERTFORD,) "I say, HUм," says FUм-FUM, of course, spoke Chinese, But, bless you, that's nothing-at Brighton one sees Foreign lingoes and Bishops translated with ease"I say, HUм, how fares it with Royalty now? "Is it up? is it prime? is it spooney—or how?”. (The Bird had just taken a flash-man's degree Under BARRYMORE, YARMOUTH, and young Master LEE,) “As for us in Pekin”—here, a devil of a din From the bedchamber came, where that long Man darin, Shall be mingled with deep execrations on those, Who could bask in that Spirit's meridian career, And yet leave it thus lonely and dark at its close: Whose vanity flew round him only while fed By the odor his fame in its summer-time gave:— Whose vanity now, with quick scent for the dead, Like the Ghole of the East, comes to feed at his grave. Oh! it sickens the heart to see bosoms so hollow, How proud they can press to the fun'ral array Of one, whom they shunn'd in his sickness and sorrow: How bailiffs may seize his last blanket, to-day, Whose pall shall be held up by nobles to-morrow! And Thou, too, whose life, a sick epicure's dream, Incoherent and gross, even grosser had pass'd, Were it not for that cordial and soul-giving beam, Which his friendship and wit o'er thy nothingness cast; No, not for the wealth of the land, that supplies thee With millions to heap upon Foppery's shrine;No, not for the riches of all who despise thee, Though this would make Europe's whole opu lence mine ; |