The helpless victim for whose blood they lusted, Then, and then only, monarchs may be trusted. Then was, indeed, an hour of joy to those Who did not hope, in that triumphant time, on, 46 Who did not hope the lust of spoil was gone; That that rapacious spirit, which had play'd The game of Pilnitz o'er so oft, was laid; And Europe's Rulers, conscious of the past, Would blush, and deviate into right at last? But no-the hearts, that nursed a hope so fair, Had yet to learn what men on thrones can dare; Had yet to know, of all earth's rav'ning things, The only quite untameable are Kings! Scarce had they met, when, to its nature true, The instinct of their race broke out anew; Promises, treaties, charters, all were vain, AndRapine! rapine!" was the cry again. How quick they carved their victims, and how well, Let Saxony, let injured Genoa tell;-Let all the human stock that, day by day, Was, at that Royal slave-mart, truck'd away,— The million souls that, in the face of heaven, Were split to fractions, barter'd, sold, or given To swell some despot Power, too huge before, And weigh down Europe with one Mammoth more. How safe the faith of Kings let France decide;Her charter broken, ere its ink had dried-Her Press enthrall'd-her Reason mock'd again With all the monkery it had spurn'd in vain; Her crown disgraced by one, who dared to own He thank'd not France but England for his throne; Her triumphs cast into the shade by those, Who had grown old among her bitterest foes, And now return'd, beneath her conqu'rors' shields, Unblushing slaves! to claim her heroes' fields; To tread down every trophy of her fame, And curse that glory which to them was shame! Let these-let all the damning deeds, that then, Were dared through Europe, cry aloud to men, With voice like that of crashing ice that rings Round Alpine huts, the perfidy of Kings; And tell the world, when hawks shall harmless bear The shrinking dove, when wolves shall learn to spare It could not last-these horrors could not last- And make the stake of all the game of one! For every single sword, reluctant raised But fate decreed not so-th' Imperial Bird, His own transgressions whiten in their shade; What was your fury then, ye crown'd array, Ye pious Kings, pure paragons of truth, Yes-yes-to you alone did it belong Though each by turns was knave and dupe-what then? A Holy League would set all straight again; In some blest fountain made as good as new!" Most mild and saintly Prussia-steep'd to th' ears Here goes for a letter, post-haste, neck and crop. Let us see-in my last I was-where did I stop? Oh, I know-at the Boulevards, as motley a road as Man ever would wish a day's lounging upon; With its cafés and gardens, hotels and pagodas, Its founts, and old Counts sipping beer in the sun: With its houses of all architectures you please, From the Grecian and Gothie, DICK, down by degrees Such was the pure divan, whose pens and wits 'Th' escape from Elba frighten'd into fits; Such were the saints, who doom'd NAPOLEON'S life, To the pure Hottentot, or the Brighton Chinese; In virtuous frenzy to th' assassin's knife. From whose affection men should shrink as loath Where in temples antique you may breakfast or dinner it, Lunch at a mosque, and see Punch from a minaret. whether "Tis country or town, they're so mess'd up together! And there, if one loves the romantic, one sees Jew clothes-men, like shepherds, reclined under trees; Or Quidnuncs, on Sunday, just fresh from the barber's, Enjoying their news and groseille" in those arbors; While gayly their wigs, like the tendrils, are curling. And founts of red currant-juice round them are purling. Here, Dick, arm in arm as we chattering stray, And our strength, till we've thrown ourselves From the Boulevards we saunter through many a Crack jokes on the natives-mine, all very neat- To cram down their throats an old King for their Here, a Louis Dix-huit-there, a Martinmas goose, health, As we whip little children to make them take Yet, spite of our good-natured money and slaughter, Neatly as now, and good cookery flourishes— own, If for no other cause than their cursed monkey looks, As to Marshals, and Statesmen, and all their whole For aught that I care, you may knock them to spinage; But think, DICK, their Cooks-what a loss to mankind! What a void in the world would their art leave behind! (Much in vogue since your eagles are gone out of Holy mouchoir o'er the door of some milliner ;- While St. DENYS hangs out o'er some hatter of And possessing, good bishop, no head of his own,1 Takes an int'rest in Dandies, who've got-next to none! Then we stare into shops-read the evening's affiches Or, if some, who're Lotharios in feeding, should Just to flirt with a luncheon, (a devilish bad trick, We quicken our pace, and there heartily cram as Their chronometer spits-their intense salaman- Seducing young pâtés, as ever could cozen ders Their ovens their pots, that can soften old ganders, And the Marmite Perpétuelle" bubbling no more! One out of one's appetite, down by the dozen. That popular artist, who brings out, like SCOTT, Take whatever ye fancy-take statues, take His delightful productions so quick, hot and hot; I've tried all these mountains, Swiss, French, and And talk of "bâtir un système Ruggieri's, 64 "Sur l'équilibre de l'Europe!" And think, for digestion, there's none like the Sweet metaphor!—and then th' Epistle, Russian; So equal the motion-so gentle, though fleet— It, in short, such a light and salubrious scamper is, That take whom you please-take old Louis DixHUIT, 65 And stuff him-ay, up to the neck-with stew'd And, if the schemes that fill thy breast lampreys, Could but a vent congenial seek, So wholesome these Mounts, such a solvent I've And use the tongue that suits them best, found them, What charming Turkish wouldst thou speak! That, let me but rattle the Monarch well down them, But as for me, a Frenchless grub, The fiend, Indigestion, would fly far away, And the regicide lampreys be foil'd of their prey! Nor learn like thee, my Lord, to snub Such DICK, are the classical sports that content us, -but woa!-my lad-here comes the And, curse him, has made the stays three inches Too wide by an inch and a half—what a Guy! "Du lit à la table, de la table au lit!" LETTER IX. R. F. FROM PHIL. FUDGE, ESQ., TO THE LORD VISCOUNT My Lord, th' Instructions, brought to-day, Your Lordship talks and writes so sensibly! I feel th' inquiries in your letter About my health and French most flattering; Who ev'n in French, would have his trope, At Congress never born to stammer, Fall'n Monarchs, out of CHAMBAUD's grammar- For all one's stock, one need but draw They'll take you all through France with ease. Your Lordship's praises of the scraps I sent you from my Journal lately, For Lady C.,) delight me greatly. Thus flatter'd, I presume to send AS BIDDY round the caps would pin them! But these will come to hand, at least Unrumpled, for there's nothing in them. Extracts from Mr. Fudge's Journal, addressed to Aug. 10. Went to the Mad-house-saw the man," He, like the rest, was guillotined;- (A more discreet, though quite as strong one,) The heads were all restored again, He, in the scramble, got a wrong one. This strange head fits him most unpleasantly; Inquiring for his own incessantly! While to his case a tear I dropp`d, And saunter'd home, thought I—ye gods! How many heads might thus be swopp'd. And after all, not make much odds! To settle on BILL SOAMES'S" shoulders, The head was planning schemes to win A zig-zag way into one's pocket, The hands would plunge directly in. Good Viscount SIDMOUTH, too, instead Old Lady WILHELMINA FRUMP'S— The head might lisp out, "What is trumps?"- The shop, the shears, the lace, and ribbon To give the PRINCE the shopman's brains, "Twas thus I ponder'd on, my Lord; And, ev'n at night, when laid in bed, I found myself, before I snored, Thus chopping, swopping head for head. And then I grew completely addled- Aug. 21. Aug. 28. Read, at a stall (for oft one pops A monarch's fat's a serious matter; He's weigh'd-to see if he gets fatter:7 Then, if a pound or two he be Increased, there's quite a jubilee!" Suppose, my Lord—and far from me 'Stead of a speech, which all can see, is The Prince, God bless him! gains a few. With bales of muslin, chintzes, spices, I see the Easterns weigh their Kings;— But, for the REGENT, my advice is, We should throw in much heavier things: For instance — -'s quarto volumes, Which, though not spices, serve to wrap them; Dominie STODDART'S Daily columns, "Prodigious!"-in, of course, we'd clap themLetters, that CARTWRIGHT's" pen indites, In which, with logical confusion, And never comes to a Conclusion:- Who loves so, in the House of Lords, Unto their wigs in whisp'ring goes, A patch of powder on his nose!- Entitled "Reasons for my Ratting :") His rump's a host-we'll bundle that in' |