there were seven thoufand two hundred and forty five, who publickly and folemnly declared before the congregation, that they took to wife their feveral kept miftreffes, which was allowed as valid marriage, the priests not having time to pronounce the ceremony in form.

At St. Bride's church in Fleetftreet, Mr. Woolfton (who writ against the miracles of our Saviour) in the utmoft terrors of confcience, made a publick recantation. Dr. Mandevil, (who had been groundlessly reported formerly to have done the fame) did it now in good earnest at St. James's gate; as did alfo at the Temple church feveral Gentlemen who frequent the coffee-houfes near the Bar. So great was the faith and fear of two of them, that they dropt dead on the fpot; but I will not record their names, left I fhould be thought invidiously to lay an odium on their families and pofterity.

Most of the players who had very little faith before, were now defirous of having as much as they could; and therefore embraced the Roman Catholick Religion; the fame thing was observed of some bawds and ladies of pleasure.

An Irish Gentleman out of pure friendship came to make me a visit, and advised me to hire a boat for the enfuing day, and told me that unless I gave earneft for one immediately, he feared it might be too late for his country-men had fecured almost every boat upon the river, as judging that, in the general conflagration, to be upon the water would be the Safeft place.

There were two Lords and three Commoners, who, out of a fcruple of conscience, very haftily threw up their penfions, as imagining a penfion was only an annual retaining bribe. All the other great penfioners, I was told, had their fcruples quieted by a Clergyman or two of distinction, whom they happily confulted.

It was remarkable that feveral of our very richest tradesmen of the city, in common charity, gave away fhillings

fhillings and fixpences to the beggars, who plyed about the church-doors; and, at a particular church in the city, a wealthy Church-warden with his own hands diftributed fifty twelve-penny loaves to the poor, by way of reftitution for the many great and coftly feafts, which he had eaten of at their expence.

Three great Ladies, a valet de chambre, two Lords, a Custom Houfe Officer, five half-pay Captains, and a Baronet, (all noted gamefters); came publickly into a church at Westminster, and depofited a very confiderable fum of money in the Minifter's hands; the parties whom they had defrauded, being either out of town, or not to be found. But fo great is the hardness of heart of this fraternity, that among either the noble or vulgar gamefters, (though the profeffion is fo general) I did not hear of any other reftitution of this fort. At the fame time I muft obferve that (in comparison of thefe) through all parts of the town, the juftice and penitence of the Highway-men, House-breakers, and common Pick-pockets was very remarkable.

The directors of our publick companies were in fuch dreadful apprehenfions, that one would have thought a parliamentary inquiry was at hand; yet fo great was their prefence of minds that all the Thursday morning was taken up in private transfers, which by malicious people was thought to be done with defign to conceal their effects.

I forbear mentioning the private confeffions of particular Ladies to their husbands; for as their children were born in wedlock, and of confequence are legitimate, it would be an invidious talk to record them as baftards; and particularly, after their feveral husbands have fo charitably forgiven them.

The evening and night, through the whole town, were spent in devotions both publick and private; the churches for this one day, were fo crouded by the Nobility and Gentry, that thousands of common

266 A true and faithful Narrative, &c.

people were feen praying in the publick streets. In fhort, one would have thought the whole town had been really and feriously religious. But what was very remarkable, all the different perfuafions kept by themselves, for as each thought the other would be damned, not one would join in prayer with the other.

At length FRIDAY came, and the people covered all the streets, expecting, watching and praying. But as the day wore away, their fears began to abate, then leffened every hour, at night they were almost extinct, till the total darkness, that hitherto used to terrify, now comforted every freethinker and Atheist. Great numbers went together to the taverns, bespoke Suppers, and broke up whole bogfheads for joy. The fubject of all wit and converfation was to redicule the prophecy, and rally each other. All the Quality and Gentry were per fectly afhamed, nay, fome utterly difowned that they had manifefted any figns of religion.

But the next day, even the common people, as well as their betters, appeared in their ufual state of indifference. They drank, they whor'd, they fwore, they lied, they cheated, they plunder'd, they gam'd, they quarrell'd, they murder'd. In fhort the world went on in the old channel.

I need not give any instances of what will so easily be credited, but I cannot omit relating, that Mr. Woolfton advertised, in that very Saturday's eveningpoft, a new treatise against the miracles of our Saviour and that the few, who had given up their penfions the day before, folicited to have them continued; which, as they had not been thrown up upon any minifterial point, I am informed was readily granted.

ΠΕΡΙ

ПЕРI BAOOTE: or, Martinus Scriblerus his TREATISE of the ART of SINKING in POETRY.

*

T hath been long (my dear countrymen) the

I my and

as numberless poets, criticks and orators have compiled and digested the art of antient poefy, there hath not arifen among us one perfon fo publick-fpirited, as to perform the like for the modern. Altho' it is univerfally known, that our every-way industrious moderns, both in the weight of their writings, and in the velocity of their judgments, do fo infinitely excel the faid antients.

no

Nevertheless, too true it is, that while a plain and direct road is paved to their tos, or fublime; tract has been yet chalked out, to arrive at our fálos or profund. The Latins, as they came between the Greeks and us, make ufe of the word altitudo, which implies equally height and depth. Wherefore confidering with no fmall grief, how many promifing geniufes of this age are wandering (as I may fay) in the dark without a guide, I have undertaken this arduous but neceffary tafk, to lead them as it were by the hand, and ftep by step, the gentle down-hill way to the bathos; the bottom, the end, the central point, the non plus ultra of true modern poefy!

When I confider (my dear countrymen) the extent, fertility and populoufnefs of our lowlands of Parnaffus, the flourishing ftate of our trade, and the plenty of our manufacture; there are two reflexions which adminifter great occafion of furprize; the one, that all dignities and honours should be beftowed upon the exceeding few meagre inhabitants

of

* Martinus Scriblerus, tho' of German extraction, was born in England, Vid. his life and memoirs, which will speedily be published.

of the top of the mountain; the other, that our nation should have arrived to that pitch of greatness it now poffeffes, without any regular fyftem of laws. As to the firft, it is with great pleafure I have obferved of late the gradual decay of delicacy and refinement among mankind, who are become too reafonable to require, that we fhould labour with infinite pains to come up to the tafte of thefe mountaineers, when they without any, may condefcend to ours. But as we have now an unquestionable majority on our fide, I doubt not but we shall shortly be able to level the Highlanders and procure a farther vent for our own product, which is already fo much relifhed, encouraged and rewarded, by the Nobility and Gentry of Great-Britain.

Therefore to fupply our former defect, I purpose to collect the fcattered rules of our art into regular inftitutes, from the example and practices of the deep geniuses of our nation; imitating herein my predeceffors the mafter of Alexander, and the fecretary of the renowned Zenobia: and in this my undertaking I am the more animated, as I expect more fuccefs than has attended even thofe great criticks, fince their laws (though they might be good) have ever been flackly executed, and their precepts (however ftrict) obeyed only by fits, and by a very fmall number.

At the fame time I intend to do juftice upon our neighbours, inhabitants of the upper Parnaffus; who taking advantage of the rifing ground, are perpetually throwing down rubbish, dirt and ftones upon us, never fuffering us to live in peace: thefe men, while they enjoy the crystal ftream of Helicon, envy us our common water, which (thank our ftars) tho' it is fomewhat muddy, flows in much greater abun dance. Nor is this the greateft injuftice we have to complain of; for altho' it is evident that we never made the least attempt or inroad into their territories, but lived contented in our native fens; they have often, not only committed petty larcenys upon our borders,