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MEMOIRS

O F

MARTINUS SCRIBLERUS.

BOOK I. CHAP. I.

Of the Parentage and Family of Scriblerus, how he was begot, what Care was taken of him before he was born, and what Prodigies attended his Birth.

IN

N the City of Munster in Germany, lived a grave and learned Gentleman, by Profeffion an Antiquary; who, among all his invaluable Curiofities,

Memoirs.] Mr. Pope, Dr. Arbuthnot, and Dr. Swift projected to write a fatire, in conjunction, on the abuses of human learning; and to make it the better received, they proposed to do it in the manner of Cervantes (the original author of this fpecies of fatire) under the history of fome feigned adventures. They had obferved thofe abufes ftill kept their ground against all that the ableft and graveft Authors could fay to difcredit them; they concluded therefore, the force of ridicule was wanting to quicken their difgrace; which was here in its place, when the abuses had been already detected by fober reasoning; and Truth in no danger to suffer by the premature use of fo powerful an inftrument. But the feparation of our Author's friends, which foon after happened, with the death of one and the infirmities of the other, put a final ftop to their project, when they had only drawn out an imperfect effay towards it, under the title of the First book of the Memoirs of Scriblerus

fities, efteemed none more highly, than a Skin of the true Pergamenian Parchment, which hung at the upper-end of his hall. On this was curiously traced the ancient Pedigree of the Scribleri, with all their Alliances and collateral Relations (among which were reckoned Albertus Magnus, Paracelfus Bombaftus, and the famous Scaligers in old time. Princes of Verona) and deduced even from the Times of the Elder Pliny to Cornelius Scriblerus: For fuch was the name of this venerable Perfonage; whose glory it was, that, by the fingular Virtue of the Women, not one had a Head of a different Caft from his family.

His wife was a Lady of fingular beauty, whom not for that reason only he espoused, but because she was undoubted daughter either of the great Scriverius, or of Gafpar Barthius. It happened on a time, the faid Gafpar made a vifit to Scriverius at Harlem, taking with him a comely Lady of his acquaintance, who was fkilful in the Greek Tongue, of whom the learned Scriverius became fo enamoured, as to inebriate his friend, and be familiar with his Mistress. I am not ignorant of what † Columefius affirms, that the learned Barthius was not so overtaken, but he perceived it; and in Re

Polite letters never loft more than in the defeat of this fcheme, in which, each of this illuftrious triumvirate would have found exercife for his own peculiar talent; befides conftant employment, for that they all had in common. Dr. Arbuthnot was killed in every thing which related to science; Mr. Pope was a master in the fine arts; and Dr. Swift excelled in the knowledge of the world. WIT they had all in equal measure, and that fo large, as no age perhaps ever produced three men, to whom Nature had more bountifully beftowed it, or Art brought it to higher perfection.

+ Columefius relates this from Ifaac Voffius, in his Opufcul. p. 102. P.

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venge fuffered this unfortunate Gentlewoman to be drowned in the Rhine at her return. But Mrs. Scriblerus (the issue of that Amour) was a living proof of the falfehood of this Report. Dr. Cornelius was farther induced to his marriage, from the certain information that the aforefaid Lady, the mother of his wife, was related to Cardan on the father's fide, and to Aldrovandus on the mother's : Befides which, her Ancestors had been profeffors of Phyfick, Aftrology, or Chemistry, in German Univerfities, from generation to generation.

With this fair Gentlewoman had our Doctor lived in a comfortable Union for about ten years: But this our fober and orderly pair, without any natural infirmity, and with a conftant and frequent compliance to the chief duty of conjugal life, were yet unhappy, in that Heaven had not bleffed them with any issue. This was the utmost grief to the good man; efpecially confidering what exact Precautions and Methods he had ufed to procure that Bleffing: for he never had cohabitation with his fpoufe, but he pondered on the Rules of the Ancients, for the generation of Children of Wit. He ordered his diet according to the prefcription of Galen, confining himself and his wife for almoft the whole first year to Goat's Milk and Honey. It unfortunately befel her, when she was about four months gone with child, to long for fomewhat, which that author inveighs against as prejudicial to the understanding of the infant. This her husband thought fit to deny her, affirming, it was better to be childlefs, than to become the Parent of a Fool. His Wife mifcarried; but as the Abortion proved only a female Foetus, he comforted himself, that, had it arrived to perfection, it would not have answer'd his account; his heart

* Galen Lib. de Cibis boni et mali fucci, cap. 3. P.

being wholly fixed upon the learned Sex. However he disdained not to treasure up the Embryo in a Vial, among the curiofities of his family.

Having difcovered that Galen's prefcription could not determine the fex, he forthwith betook himself to Ariftotle. Accordingly he with-held the nuptial embrace when the wind was in any point of the South; this * Author afferting that the groffness and moisture of the foutherly winds occafion the procreation of females, and not of males. But he redoubled his diligence when the wind was at West, a wind on which that great Philofopher bestowed the Encomiums of Fatner of the earth, Breath of the Elyfian Fields, and other glorious Elogies. For our learned man was clearly of opinion, that the Semina out of which Animals are produced, are Animalcula ready formed, and received in with the Air +.

Under these regulations, his wife, to his unexpreffible joy, grew pregnant a fecond time; and, (what was no small addition to his happiness) he juft then came to the poffeffion of a confiderable Eftate by the death of her Uncle, a wealthy Jew who refided at London. This made it neceffary for him to take a journey to England; nor would the care of his pofterity let him fuffer his Wife to remain behind him. During the voyage, he was perpetually taken up on the one hand, how to employ his great Riches; and on the other, how to educate his Child. He had already determined to set apart several annual Sums, for the recovery of Manuscripts, the effofion of Coins, the procur

* Arift. xiv. Sect. Prob. 5. P.

+ Religion of Nature, Sect. v. Parag. 15. P. The ferioufnefs with which this ftrange opinion, on fo myfterious a point, is advanced, very well deserved this ftroke of ridicule.

ing o Mummies; and for all thofe curious difcoveries by which he hoped to become (as himfelf was wont to fay) a fecond Peireskius*. He had already chalked out all poffible schemes for the improvement of a male child, yet was fo far prepar'd for the worst that could happen, that before the nine months were expired, he had compofed two Treatifes of Education; the one he called, A Daughter's Mirrour, and the other A Son's Monitor.

This is all we can find relating to Martinus, while he was in his Mother's womb, excepting that he was entertained there with a Concert of Mufick once in twenty four hours, according to the Cuftom of the Magi and that on a † particular day, he was observed to leap and kick exceedingly, which was on the first of April, the birth-day of the great Bafilius Valentinus.

The Truth of this, and every preceding Fact, may be depended upon, being taken literally from the Memoirs. But I muft be fo ingenuous as to own, that the Accounts are not fo certain of the exact time and place of his birth. As to the first, he had the common frailty of old men, to conceal his age: as to the second, I only remember to have heard him say, that he first faw the light in St. Giles's Parifh. But in the investigation of this point, Fortune hath favoured our diligence. For one day as I was pafling by the Seven Dials, I overheard a difpute concerning the place of Nativity of a great

* There was a great deal of trifling pedantry and curiofity in that great Man's character.

+ Ramfay's Cyrus. P. It was with judgment, that the Authors chofe rather to ridicule the modern relator of this ridiculous practice, than the Antients from whence he took it. As it is a fure inftance of folly, when amongst the many excellent things that may be learned from antiquity, we find a modern writer only picking out their abfurdities.

Aftrologer,

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