That's true (quoth Albertus) but pray confider "on the other fide that Animals * fpleen'd grow "extremely falacious, an experiment well known "in dogs. Cornelius was ftruck with this, and "replied gravely; If it be fo, I will defer the "Operation, for I will not encrease the powers of my fon's body at the expence of thofe of his mind. I am indeed difappointed in most of my "projects, and fear I must fit down at laft contented with fuch methods of Education as mo"dern barbarity affords. Happy had it been for "us all, had we lived in the age of Auguftus ! "Then my fon might have heard the Philofophers difpute in the Porticos of the Palæstra, and at the fame time form'd his Body and his Under«ftanding." "It is true (reply'd Albertus) we "have no Exedra for the Philofophers, adjoining "to our Tennis-Courts; but there are Ale-houfes "where he will hear very notable argumentations : "Tho' we come not up to the Ancients in the "Tragic-dance, we excel them in the xus, or "the art of Tumbling. The Ancients would have "beat us at Quoits, but not so much at the Ja❝culum or pitching the Bar. The † Pugilatus is "in as great perfection in England as in old "Rome, and the Cornish-Hug in the Luctus is "equal to the volutatoria of the Ancients." You "could not (anfwered Cornelius) have produced "a more unlucky inftance of modern folly and "barbarity, than what you fay of the Faculum. "The Cretans wifely forbid their fervants Gym"nafticks, as well as Arms; and yet your mo"dern Footmen exercife themselves daily in the Jaculum at the corner of Hyde-Park, whilst Wrestling. P. Ariftot. politic. lib. ii. cap. 3. P. ❝ their "their enervated Lords are lolling in their chariots may (a fpecies of Vectitation feldom us'd amongst "the Ancients, except by old men.) You fay "well (quoth Albertus) and we have feveral other "kinds of Vectitation unknown to the Ancients; "particularly flying Chariots, where the people have the benefit of this exercise at the small expence of a farthing. But fuppose (which I readily grant) that the Ancients excelled us almoft in every thing, yet why this fingularity? "your fon must take up with fuch mafters as the "prefent age affords; we have Dancing-mafters, "Writing-mafters, and Mufick-mafters. 66 re The bare mention of Mufick threw Cornelius into a paffion. "How can you dignify (quoth he) "this modern fidling with the name of Mufick? "Will any of your best Hautboys encounter a "Wolf now-a-days with no other arms but their inftruments, as did that ancient piper Pythocha"ris? Have ever wild Boars, Elephants, Deer, "Dolphins, Whales or Turbots, fhew'd the leaft "emotion at the most elaborate ftrains of your mo❝dern Scrapers, all which have been, as it were, "tamed and humanized by ancient Muficians? "Does not * Ælian tell us how the Libyan Mares "were excited to horfing by Mufick? (which ❝ought in truth to be a caution to modeft Wo men against frequenting Operas; and confider, "Brother, you are brought to this dilemma, either to give up the virtue of the Ladies, or the power "of your Mufick.) Whence proceeds the degene66 racy of our Morals? Is it not from the lofs of "ancient Mufick, by which (fays Ariftotle) they taught all the Virtues? Elfe might we turn New66 gate into a College of Dorian Muficians, who * Ælian Hift. Animal, lib. xi, cap. 18, and lib. xii. sap. 44. P. fhould fhould teach moral Virtues to those people. "Whence comes it that our present diseases are "so stubborn? whence is it that I daily deplore my "fciatical pains? Alas! because we have loft their "true cure, by the melody of the Pipe. All this "was well known to the Ancients, as † Theophra"ftus affures us (whence ‡ Cælius calls it loca do"lentia decantare) only indeed fome small remains "of this skill are preferved in the cure of the Ta"rantula. Did not § Pythagoras ftop a company "of drunken Bullies from forming a civil house, "by changing the ftrain of the Pipe to the fober "Spondæus and yet your modern Muficians "want art to defend their windows from common "Nickers. It is well known that when the Lacedæ"monian Mob were up, they | commonly fent "for a Lesbian Mufician to appease them, and they "immediately grew calm as foon as they heard "Terpander fing: Yet I don't believe that the "Pope's whole band of Mufick, though the best "of this age, could keep his Holinefs's Image "from being burnt on a fifth of November. Nor "would Terpander himself (reply'd Albertus) at "Billingfgate, nor Timotheus at Hockly in the "Hole have any manner of effect, nor both of "them together bring † Horneck to common civi«lity." "That's a gross mistake (said Cornelius very warmly) and to prove it fo, I have here a "fmall Lyra of my own, fram'd, ftrung, and tun'd after the ancient manner. I can play ❝ some fragments of Lesbian tunes, and I wish I + Athenæus, lib. xiv. P. Lib. de fanitate tuenda, cap. 2. P. Suidas in Timotheo. P. + Horneck, a fcurrilous Scribler, who wrote a week ly paper, called the High German Deter. P. "were to try them upon the most paffionate crea"tures alive.". "You never had a better oppor"tunity (fays Albertus) for yonder are two Ap"ple women fcolding, and just ready to uncoif "one another." With that Cornelius, undrefs'd as he was, jumps out into his Balcony, his Lyra in hand, in his flippers, with his breeches hanging down to his ankles, a ftocking upon his head, and a waftcoat of murrey-coloured fattin upon his body: He touch'd his Lyra with a very unufual fort of an Harpegiatura, nor were his hopes fruftrated. The odd Equipage, the uncouth Inftrument, the strangeness of the Man and of the Mufick, drew the ears and eyes of the whole Mob that were got about the two female Champions, and at last of the Combatants themselves. They all approach'd the Balcony, in as close attention as Orpheus's first Audience of Cattle, or that of an Italian Opera, when fome favourite Air is juft awakened. This fudden effect of his Mufick encouraged him mightily, and it was obferved he never touched his Lyre in fuch a truly chromatick and enharmonick manner as upon that occafion. The mob laugh'd, fung, jump'd, danc'd, and used many odd geftures, all which he judged to be caused by the various ftrains and modulations. Mark (quoth he) in this, the power of the "Ionian, in that, you see the effect of the Æolian.” But in a little time they began to grow riotous, and threw ftones: Cornelius then withdrew, but with the greatest air of Triumph in the world. "Brother (faid he) do you observe I have mixed unawares "too much of the Phrygian; I might change it "to the Lydian, and soften their riotous tempers: "But it is enough: learn from this Sample to speak "with veneration of ancient Mufick. If this Lyre in my unfkilful hands can perform fuch "wonders, what must it not have done in those of "a Timotheus or a Terpander ?" Having faid this, he retired with the utmost Exultation in himfelf, and Contempt of his Brother; and, it is faid, behaved that night with fuch unusual haughtiness to his family, that they all had reafon to wifh for fome ancient Tibicen to calm his Temper. CHA P. VII. Rhetorick, Logick, and Metaphyficks. Ornelius having (as hath been faid) many ways been disappointed in his attempts of improving the bodily Forces of his fon, thought it now high time to apply to the Culture of his Internal faculties. He judged it proper in the first place to inftruct him in Rhetorick. But herein we shall not need to give the Reader any account of his wonderful progress, since it is already known to the learned world by his Treatife on this fubject: I mean the admirable Difcourfe П Bates, which he wrote at this time, but conceal'd from his Father, knowing his extreme partiality for the Ancients. It lay by him concealed, and perhaps forgot among the great multiplicity of other Writings, till, about the year 1727, he sent it us to be printed, with many additional examples drawn from the excellent live Poets of this prefent age. We proceed therefore to Logick and Metaphyficks. The wife Cornelius was convinced, that these being Polemical Arts, could no more be learned alone, than Fencing or Cudgel-playing. He thought it therefore neceffary to look out for fome Youth of pregnant parts, to be a fort of humble Companion to his fon in thofe ftudies. His good fortune directed him to one of the most fingular endow6 ments, |