Aftrologer, which each man alledged to have been in his own street. The circumstances of the time, and the description of the person, made me imagine it might be that univerfal Genius whofe life I am writing. I returned home, and having maturely confidered their feveral arguments, which I found to be of equal weight, I quieted my curiofity with this natural conclufion, that he was born in fome point common to all the feven freets! which must be that on which the column is now erected. And it is with infinite pleasure that I fince find my Conjecture confirmed, by the following paffage in the Codicil to Mr. Neale's Will.

I appoint my Execut:rs to engrave the following Infcription on the Column in the Center of the Seven Streets which I erected.

LOC. NAT. INCLVT. PHILOS. MAR. SCR. But Mr. Neale's Order was never performed, because the Executors durft not adminifter.

Nor was the Birth of this great man unattended with Prodigies: He himself has often told me, that on the night before he was born, Mrs. Scriblerus dream'd she was brought to bed of a huge Ink-horn, out of which issued several large ftreams of Ink, as it had been a fountain. This dream was by her husband thought to fignify, that the child fhould prove a very voluminous Writer. Likewise a * Crabtree that had been hitherto barren, appeared on a sudden laden with a vaft quantity of Crabs: This fign alfo the old gentleman imagined to be a prognoftic of the acuteness of his Wit. A great fwarm of Wafps play'd round his Cradle without hurting him, but were very troublesome to all in the room

befides: This feemed a certain prefage of the effects of his Satire. A Dunghill was feen within the fpace of one night to be covered all over with Mushrooms: This fome interpreted to promise the infant great fertility of fancy, but no long duration to his works; but the Father was of another opinion.

As

But what was of all most wonderful, was a thing that seemed a monftrous Fowl, which juft then dropt through the sky-light, near his wife's apartment It had a large body, two little difproportioned wings, a prodigious tail, but no head. its colour was white, he took it at first fight for a Swan, and was concluding his fon would be a Poet: but on a nearer view, he perceived it to be speckled with black, in the form of letters; and that it was indeed a Paper kite which had broke its leash by the impetuofity of the wind. His back was armed with the Art Military, his belly was filled with Phyfick, his wings were the wings of Quarles and Withers, the feveral Nodes of his voluminous tail were diverfify'd with feveral branches of Science; where the Doctor beheld with great joy a knot of Logick, a knot of Metaphyfick, a knot of Cafuiftry, a knot of Polemical Divinity, and a knot of Common Law, with a Lanthorn of Jacob Behmen.

:

There went a Report in the family, that, as foon as he was born, he uttered the voice of nine several animals he cry'd like a Calf, bleated like a Sheep, chattered like a Mag-pye, grunted like a Hog, neighed like a Foal, croaked like a Raven, mewed like a Cat, gabbled like a Goofe, and brayed like an Afs. And the next morning he was found playing in his bed with two Owls, which came down the chimney. His Father greatly rejoiced at all these figns, which betokened the variety of his Eloquence, and the extent of his Learning; but he was more particularly

particularly pleased with the laft, as it nearly refembled what happened at the birth of Homer *.

CHAP. II.

The Speech of Cornelius over his Son, at the Hour of his Birth.

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O fooner was the cry of the Infant heard, but the old gentleman rushed into the room, and fnatching it in his arms, examined every limb with attention. He was infinitely pleased to find, that the Child had the Wart of Cicero, the wry neck of Alexander, knots upon his legs like Marius, and one of them shorter than the other like Agefilaus. The good Cornelius alfo hoped he would come to stammer like Demofthenes, in order to be as eloquent; and in time arrive at many other defects of famous men. He held the child fo long, that the Midwife, grown out of all patience, fnatched it from his arms, in order to fwaddle it. "Swaddle "him! (quoth he) far be it from me to submit to "fuch a pernicious Cuftom! Is not my fon a "Man? and is not Man the Lord of the Universe? "Is it thus you use this Monarch at his first arrival "in his dominions, to manacle and fhackle "him hand and foot? Is this what you call to be "free-born? If you have no regard to his natural

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Liberty, at least have fome to his natural Facul"ties. Behold with what agility he spreadeth his "Toes, and moveth them with as great variety as "his Fingers! a power, which in the fmall circle "of a year may be totally abolished, by the enor

* Vid. Euftath. in Odyff. 1. xii. ex Alex. Paphio, et Lco. Allat. de patr. Hom. p. 45·

P.

mous

"mous confinement of fhoes and ftockings. His "Ears (which other animals turn with great ad

are

vantage towards the fonorous object) may, by the "miniftry of fome accurfed Nurfe, for ever lye "flat and immoveable. Not fo the Antients, they "could move them at pleasure, and accordingly << often defcrib'd arrectis auribus." "What "a devil (quoth the Midwife) would you have CC your fon move his Ears like a Drill ?" "Yes, "fool (faid he) why fhould he not have the per"fection of a Drill, or of any other animal ?" Mrs. Scriblerus, who lay all this while fretting at her husband's discourse, at last broke out to this purpose. "My dear, I have had many difputes with you

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upon this fubject before I was a month gone: "We have but one child, and cannot afford to "throw him away upon experiments. I'll have "my boy bred up like other gentlemen, at home, "and always under my own eye." All the Goffips with one voice, cried, Ay, ay; but Cornelius broke out in this manner. "What, bred at home! "Have I taken all this pains for a creature that is "to lead the inglorious life of a Cabbage, to fuck "the nutritious juices from the fpot where he was "firft planted? No; to perambulate this terra"queous Globe is too small a Range; were it per"mitted, he should at least make the Tour of the "whole Syftem of the Sun. Let other Mortals "pore upon Maps, and fwallow the legends of ly❝ing travellers; the fon of Cornelius fhall make "his own Legs his Compaffes; with thofe he "fhall measure Continents, Iflands, Capes, Bays, "Streights, and Ifthmus's: He fhall himself take "the altitude of the highest mountains, from the "peak of Derby to the peak of Tenariff; when "he has vifited the top of Taurus, Imaus, Cau"cafus, and the famous Ararat, where Noah's Ark "first moor'd, he may take a flight view of the

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"fnowy

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"fnowy Riphæans; nor would I have him neglect "Athos and Olympus, renowned for poetical fic"tions. Those that vomit fire will deferve a more "particular attention: I will therefore have him "observe with great care Vefuvius, Ætna, the burning mountain of Java, but chiefly Hecla the "greatest rarity in the Northern Regions. Then "he may likewife contemplate the wonders of the Mephitick cave. When he has div'd into the "bowels of the earth, and furvey'd the works of "Nature under ground, and inftructed himself fully in the nature of Vulcanos, Earthquakes, "Thunders, Tempefts, and Hurricanes, I hope he "will bless the world with a more exact furvey of "the deferts of Arabia and Tartary, than as yet we are able to obtain: Then will I have him "cross the seven Gulphs, measure the currents in "the fiftcen famous Streights, and search for those "fountains of fresh water that are at the bottom of "the Ocean."-At these last words Mrs. Scriblerus fell into a trembling: the defcription of this terrible Scene made too violent an impreffion upon a woman in her condition, and threw her into a ftrong hysteric Fit; which might have proved dangerous, if Cornelius had not been pushed out of the room by the united force of the women.

7.

CHA P. III.

Shewing what befel the Doctor's Son and his Shield, on the Day of the Chrift'ning.

THE

HE day of the Chrift'ning being come, and the house filled with Goffips, the Levity of whofe Conversation fuited but ill with the Gravity of Dr. Cornelius, he caft about how to pass this

day.