Send her abroad: and let her fee,
That all this mingled mafs, which the, Being forbidden, longs to know,
Is a dull farce, an empty fhow, Powder, and pocket-glafs, and beau ; A ftaple of romance and lies, Falfe tears and real perjuries :
Where fighs and looks are bought and fold; And love is made but to be told:
Where the fat bawd and lavish heir
The fpoils of ruin'd beauty share ; And youth, feduc'd from friends and fame, Muft give up age to want and shame. Let her behold the frantic fcene, The women wretched, falfe the men: And when, thefe certain ills to fhun, She would to thy embraces run; Receive her with extended arms,
Seem more delighted with her charms; Wait on her to the park and play,
Put on good-humour;
Be to her virtues very kind; Be to her faults a little blind;
Let all her ways be unconfin'd;
And clap your padlock-on her mind.
ANS CARVEL, impotent and old, Married a lafs of London mould: Handfome? enough; extremely gay : Lov'd mufic, company, and play : High flights fhe had, and wit at will; And fo her tongue lay feldom ftill: For in all vifits who but fhe,
To argue, or to repartée ?
She made it plain, that human paffion Was order'd by predestination;
That, if weak women went aftray,
Their stars were more in fault than they Whole tragedies she had by heart; Enter'd into Roxana's part:
To triumph in her rival's blood, The action certainly was good.
How like a vine young Ammon curl'd! Oh that dear conqueror of the world! She pitied Betterton in age,
•That ridicul'd the god-like rage.
She, firft of all the town, was told, Where newest India things were fold :: So in a morning, without bodice, $lipt fometimes out to Mrs. Thody's; To cheapen tea, to buy a screen: What elfe could fo much virtue mean?
For, to prevent the leaft reproach, Betty went with her in the coach. But, when no very great affair Excited her peculiar care, She without fail was wak'd at ten ; Drank chocolate, then flept again At twelve fhe rofe; with much ado Her cloaths were huddled on by two; Then, does my Lady dine at home? Yes, fure !-But is the Colonel come? Next, how to spend the afternoon, And not come home again too foon ; The Change, the City, or the Play,
As each was proper for the day: A turn in fummer to Hyde-Park, When it grew tolerably dark.
Wife's pleasure causes husband's pain: Strange fancies come in Hans's brain : He thought of what he did not name; And would reform, but durft not blame. At first he therefore preach'd his wife The comforts of a pious life : Told her, how tranfient beauty was ; That all must die, and flesh was grass He bought her fermons, pfalms, and graces; And doubled down the ufeful places. But ftill the weight of worldly care Allow'd her little time for prayer :
And Cleopatra was read o'er;
While Scot, and Wake, and twenty more,
That teach one to deny one's-felf,
Stood unmolefted on the fhelf.
An untouch'd bible grac'd her toilet :
No fear that thumb of her's should spoil it. In fhort, the trade was ftill the fame : The Dame went out: the Colonel came. What's to be done? poor Carvel cry'd : Another battery must be try'd : What if to spells I had recourse ? 'Tis but to hinder fomething worse. The end must justify the means ; He only fins who ill intends : Since therefore 'tis to combat evil; "Tis lawful to employ the Devil.
Forthwith the Devil did appear (For name him, and he 's always near); Not in the fhape in which he plies At Mifs's elbow when the lies; Or ftands before the nursery-doors, To take the naughty boy that roars : But, without fawcer-eye or claw, Like a grave Barrister at Law.
Hans Carvel, lay afide your grief,
The Devil fays; I bring relief. Relief! fays Hans: pray, let me crave Your name, Sir-Satan-Sir, your flave; I did not look upon your feet: You'll pardon me :-Ay now I fee't: And pray, Sir, when came you from Hell? Our friends there, did you leave them well?
All well; but pr'ythee, honeft Hans, (Says Satan) leave your complaifance : The truth is this: I cannot stay Flaring in fun-fhine all the day : For, entre nous, we hellish fprites Love more the fresco of the nights; And oftener our receipts convey In dreams, than any other way. I tell you therefore as a friend, Ere morning dawns, your fears fhall end : Go then this evening, master Carvel, Lay down your fowls, and broach your Let friends and wine diffolve your care; Whilft I the great receipt prepare : To-night I'll bring it, by my faith! Believe for once what Satan faith.
Away went Hans: glad? not a little Obey'd the Devil to a tittle;
Invited friends fome half a dozen,
The Colonel and my Lady's coufin.
The meat was ferv'd; the bowls were crown'd; Catches were fung; and healths went round; Barbadoes waters for the clofe;
Till Hans had fairly got his dofe : The Colonel toafted" to the beft:"
The Dame mov'd off, to be undreft :
The chimes went twelve: the guests withdrew: But when, or how, Hans hardly knew.
Some modern anecdotes aver,
He nodded in his elbow-chair;
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