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Send her abroad: and let her fee,

That all this mingled mafs, which the,
Being forbidden, longs to know,

Is a dull farce, an empty fhow,
Powder, and pocket-glafs, and beau ;
A ftaple of romance and lies,
Falfe tears and real perjuries :

Where fighs and looks are bought and fold;
And love is made but to be told:

Where the fat bawd and lavish heir

The fpoils of ruin'd beauty share ;
And youth, feduc'd from friends and fame,
Muft give up age to want and shame.
Let her behold the frantic fcene,
The women wretched, falfe the men:
And when, thefe certain ills to fhun,
She would to thy embraces run;
Receive her with extended arms,

Seem more delighted with her charms;
Wait on her to the park and play,

Put on good-humour;

make her gay;

Be to her virtues very kind;
Be to her faults a little blind;

Let all her ways be unconfin'd;

And clap your padlock-on her mind.

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HANS

HANS

HANS

CARVE L.

ANS CARVEL, impotent and old,
Married a lafs of London mould:
Handfome? enough; extremely gay :
Lov'd mufic, company, and play :
High flights fhe had, and wit at will;
And fo her tongue lay feldom ftill:
For in all vifits who but fhe,

To argue, or to repartée ?

She made it plain, that human paffion Was order'd by predestination;

That, if weak women went aftray,

Their stars were more in fault than they
Whole tragedies she had by heart;
Enter'd into Roxana's part:

To triumph in her rival's blood,
The action certainly was good.

How like a vine young Ammon curl'd!
Oh that dear conqueror of the world!
She pitied Betterton in age,

•That ridicul'd the god-like rage.

She, firft of all the town, was told,
Where newest India things were fold ::
So in a morning, without bodice,
$lipt fometimes out to Mrs. Thody's;
To cheapen tea, to buy a screen:
What elfe could fo much virtue mean?

For,

:

For, to prevent the leaft reproach,
Betty went with her in the coach.
But, when no very great affair
Excited her peculiar care,
She without fail was wak'd at ten ;
Drank chocolate, then flept again
At twelve fhe rofe; with much ado
Her cloaths were huddled on by two;
Then, does my Lady dine at home?
Yes, fure !-But is the Colonel come?
Next, how to spend the afternoon,
And not come home again too foon ;
The Change, the City, or the Play,

As each was proper for the day:
A turn in fummer to Hyde-Park,
When it grew tolerably dark.

Wife's pleasure causes husband's pain:
Strange fancies come in Hans's brain :
He thought of what he did not name;
And would reform, but durft not blame.
At first he therefore preach'd his wife
The comforts of a pious life :
Told her, how tranfient beauty was ;
That all must die, and flesh was grass
He bought her fermons, pfalms, and graces;
And doubled down the ufeful places.
But ftill the weight of worldly care
Allow'd her little time for prayer :

And Cleopatra was read o'er;

:

While Scot, and Wake, and twenty more,

That

That teach one to deny one's-felf,

Stood unmolefted on the fhelf.

An untouch'd bible grac'd her toilet :

No fear that thumb of her's should spoil it.
In fhort, the trade was ftill the fame :
The Dame went out: the Colonel came.
What's to be done? poor Carvel cry'd :
Another battery must be try'd :
What if to spells I had recourse ?
'Tis but to hinder fomething worse.
The end must justify the means ;
He only fins who ill intends :
Since therefore 'tis to combat evil;
"Tis lawful to employ the Devil.

Forthwith the Devil did appear
(For name him, and he 's always near);
Not in the fhape in which he plies
At Mifs's elbow when the lies;
Or ftands before the nursery-doors,
To take the naughty boy that roars :
But, without fawcer-eye or claw,
Like a grave Barrister at Law.

Hans Carvel, lay afide your grief,

The Devil fays; I bring relief.
Relief! fays Hans: pray, let me crave
Your name, Sir-Satan-Sir, your flave;
I did not look upon your feet:
You'll pardon me :-Ay now I fee't:
And pray, Sir, when came you from Hell?
Our friends there, did you leave them well?

All

All well; but pr'ythee, honeft Hans,
(Says Satan) leave your complaifance :
The truth is this: I cannot stay
Flaring in fun-fhine all the day :
For, entre nous, we hellish fprites
Love more the fresco of the nights;
And oftener our receipts convey
In dreams, than any other way.
I tell you therefore as a friend,
Ere morning dawns, your fears fhall end :
Go then this evening, master Carvel,
Lay down your fowls, and broach your
Let friends and wine diffolve your care;
Whilft I the great receipt prepare :
To-night I'll bring it, by my faith!
Believe for once what Satan faith.

Away went Hans: glad? not a little
Obey'd the Devil to a tittle;

Invited friends fome half a dozen,

The Colonel and my Lady's coufin.

barrel;

The meat was ferv'd; the bowls were crown'd;
Catches were fung; and healths went round;
Barbadoes waters for the clofe;

Till Hans had fairly got his dofe :
The Colonel toafted" to the beft:"

The Dame mov'd off, to be undreft :

The chimes went twelve: the guests withdrew: But when, or how, Hans hardly knew.

Some modern anecdotes aver,

He nodded in his elbow-chair;

From

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