CHAPTER II.

In which are recorded the sage Projects of a Ruler of universal Genius. The art of Fighting by Proclamation,—and how that the valiant Jacobus Van Curlet came to be foully dis honoured at Fort Goed Hoop.

NEVER was a more comprehensive, a more expeditious, or, what is still better, a more economical measure devised, than this, of defeating the Yankees by proclamation; an expedient, likewise, so humane, so gentle, and pacific, there were ten chances to one in favour of its succeeding, but then there was one chance to ten that it would not succeed; as the illnatured fates would have it, that single chance carried the day! The proclamation was perfect in all its parts, well constructed, well written, well sealed, and well published-all that was wanting to insure its effect was, that the Yankees should stand in awe of it; but, provoking to relate, they treated it with the most absolute contempt, applied it to an unseemly purpose, and thus did the first warlike proclamation come to a shameful enda fate which I am credibly informed, has befallen but too many of its successors.

It was a long time before Wilhelmus Kieft could be persuaded, by the united efforts of all his counsellors, that his war measures had failed in producing any effect. On the contrary, he flew in a passion whenever any one dared to question its efficacy; and swore, that though it was slow in operating, yet when once it began to work, it would soon purge the land of these rapacious intruders. Time, however, that test of all experiments both in philosophy and politics, at length convinced the great Kieft, that his proclamation was abortive; and that, notwithstanding he had waited four years in a state of constant irritation, yet U

he was still further off than ever from the object of his wishes. His implacable adversaries in the east became more and more troublesome in their encroachments, and founded the thriving colony of Hartford close upon the skirts of Fort Goed Hoop. They moreover commenced the fair settlement of Newhaven (alias the Red Hills) within the domains of their high mightinesses-while the onion patches of Pyquag were a continual eyesore to the garrison of Van Curlet. Upon beholding, therefore, the inefficacy of his measure, the sage Kieft, like many a worthy practitioner of physic, laid the blame, not to the medicine, but the quantity administered; and resolutely resolved to double the dose.

In the year 1638, therefore, that being the fourth year of his reign, he fulminated against them a second proclamation, of heavier metal than the former; written in thundering long sentences, not one word of which was under five syllables. This, in fact, was a kind of non-intercourse bill, forbidding and prohibiting all commerce and connexion, between any and every of the said Yankee intruders, and the said fortified post of Fort Goed Hoop; and order ing, commanding, and advising all his trusty, loyal, and well-beloved subjects, to furnish them with no supplies of gin, gingerbread; or sour crout; to buy none of their pacing horses, meazly pork, apple brandy, Yankee rum, cider water, apple sweetmeats, Weathersfield onions, or wooden bowls; but to starve and exterminate them from the face of the land.

Another pause of a twelvemonth ensued, during which the last proclamation received the same attention, and experienced the same fate as the first; at the end of which term, the gallant Jacobus Van Curlet despatched his annual messenger, with his customary budget of complaints and entreaties. Whether the regular interval of a year, intervening between the arrival of Van Curlet's couriers, was occasioned by the systematic regularity of his move

ments, or by the immense distance at which he was stationed from the seat of government, is a matter of uncertainty. Some have ascribed it to the slowness of his messengers, who, as I have before noticed, were chosen from the shortest and fattest of his garrison, as least likely to be worn out on the road; and who, being pursy, shortwinded little men, generally travelled fifteen miles a-day, and then laid by a whole week-to rest. All these, how ever, are matters of conjecture; and I rather think it may be ascribed to the immemorial maxim of this worthy country, and which has ever influenced all its public transactions-not to do things in a hurry.

The gallant Jacobus Van Curlet in his despatches respectfully represented, that several years had now elapsed, since his first application to his late excellency, the renowned Wouter Van Twiller; during which interval, his garrison had been reduced nearly one-eighth, by the death of two of his most valiant and corpulent soldiers, who had accidentally over-eaten themselves on some fat salmon, caught in the Varsche river. He further stated, that the enemy persisted in their inroads, taking no notice of the fort or its inhabitants, but squatting themselves down, and forming settlements all around it; so that, in a little while, he should find himself enclosed and blockaded by the enemy, and totally at their mercy.

But among the most atrocious of his grievances, I find the following still on record, which may serve to show the bloody-minded outrages of these savage intruders. “ In the meane time, they of Hartford have not onely, usurped and taken in the lands of Connecticott, although unrighteously and against the lawes of nations, but have hindered our nation in sowing theire owne purchased broken up lands, but have also sowed them with corne in the night, which the Netherlanders had broken up and intended to sowe: aud have beaten the servants of the high and mighty the honored companie, which were labouring upon theire

master's lands, from theire lands, with sticks and plow staves in hostile manner laming, and amongst the rest, struck Ever Duckings * a hole in his head, with a stick, soe that the blood ran downe very strongly downe upon his body."

But what is still more atrocious

"Those of Hartford sold a hogg, that belonged to the honored companie, under pretence that it had eaten of theire grounde grass, when they had not any foot of inheritance. They proffered the hogg for 5s. if the commissioners would have given 5s. for damage; which the commissioners denied, because noe man's owne hogg (as men use to say) can trespass upon his owne master's grounde."+

The receipt of this melancholy intelligence incensed the whole community-there was something in it that spoke to the dull comprehension, and touched the obtuse feelings even of the puissant vulgar, who generally require a kick in the rear, to awaken their slumbering dignity. I have known my profound fellow-citizens bear without murmur, a thousand essential infringements of their rights, merely because they were not immediately obvious to their senses; but the moment the unlucky Pearce was shot upon our coasts, the whole body politic was in a ferment: so the enlightened Nederlanders, though they had treated the encroachments of their eastern neighbours with but little regard, and left their quill-valiant governor to bear the whole brunt of the war, with his single pen; yet now every individual felt his head broken in the broken head of Duckings-and the unhappy fate of their fellow-citizen the hog, being impressed, carried and sold into captivity, awakened a grunt of sympathy from every bosom.

This name is no doubt misspelt. In some old Dutch MSS. of the time, we find the name of Evert Duyckingh, who is unquestionably the unfortunate hero above alluded to.

+ Haz. Col. Stat. Pass.

The governor and council, goaded by the clamours of the multitude, now sat themselves earnestly to deliberate upon what was to be done. Proclamations had at length fallen into temporary disrepute; some were for sending the Yankees a tribute, as we make peace-offerings to the petty Barbary powers, or as the Indians sacrifice to the devil. Others were for buying them out; but this was opposed, as it would be acknowledging their title to the land they had seized. A variety of measures were, as usual in such cases, proposed, discussed, and abandoned; and the council had at last, to adopt the means, which being the most common and obvious, had been knowingly overlooked: for your amazing acute politicians are forever looking through telescopes, which only enable them to see such objects as are far off, and unattainable; but which incapacitate them to see such things as are in their reach, and obvious to all simple folks, who are content to look with the naked eyes heaven has given them. The profound council, as I have said, in their pursuit after Jack-o'-lanterns, accidentally stumbled on the very measure they were in need of; which was to raise a body of troops, and despatch them to the relief and reinforcement of the garrison. This measure was carried into such prompt operation, that in less than twelve months, the whole expedition, consisting of a serjeant and twelve men, was ready to march; and was reviewed for that purpose, in the public square, now known by the name of the Bowling Green. Just at this juncture the whole community was thrown into consternation, by the sudden arrival of the gallant Jacobus Van Curlet; who came straggling into town at the head of his crew of tatterdemalions, and bringing the melancholy tidings of his own defeat, and the capture of the redoubtable post of Fort Goed Hoop by the ferocious Yankees.

The fate of this important fortress, is an impressive warning to all military commanders. It was neither carried by storm, nor famine; no practicable breach was effected by