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sary. Their nights grew restless with meditation of new dresses to outvie each other, and in inventing new devices to recal admirers, who observed the charms of the one rather than those of the other, on the last meeting. Their colours failed at each other's appearance, flushed with pleasure at the report of a disadvantage, and their countenances withered upon instances of applause. The decencies to which women are obliged, made these virgins stifle their resentment so far as not to break into open violences, while they equally suffered the torments of a regulated anger. Their mothers, as it is usual, engaged in the quarrel, and supported the several pretensions of the daughters with all that ill-chosen sort of expence which is common with people of plentiful fortunes and mean taste. The girls preceded their parents like queens of May, in all the gaudy colours imaginable, on every Sunday to church, and were exposed to the examination of the audience for superiority of beauty.

During this constant struggle, it happened, that Phillis one day at public prayers smote the heart of a gay West Indian, who appeared in all the colours which can affect an eye that could not distinguish between being fine and tawdry. This American, in a summer-island suit, was too shining and too gay to be resisted by Phillis, and too intent upon her charms to be diverted by any of the la boured attractions of Brunetta. Soon after, Brunetta had the mortification to see her rival disposed of in a wealthy marriage, while she was only addressed to in a manner that shewed she was the admiration of all men, but the choice of none. Phillis was carried to the habitation of her spouse in Barbadoes. Brunetta had the ill-nature to enquire for her by every opportunity, and had the misfortune to hear of her being attended by numerous slaves, fanned into slumbers by successive bands of them, and carried from place to place in all the pomp of barbarous magnificence. Brunetta could not endure these repeated advices, but employed all her arts and charms in laying baits for any of condition of the same island, out of a mere ambition to confront her once more before she died. She at last succeeded in her design, and was taken to wife by a gentleman whose estate was contiguous to that of her enemy's husband. It would be endless to enumerate the many occasions on which these irreconcileable

beauties laboured to excel each other; but in process of time it happened, that a ship put into the island consigned to a friend of Phillis, who had directions to give her the refusal of all goods for apparel, before Brunetta could be alarmed of their arrival. He did so, and Phillis was dressed in a few days in a brocade more gorgeous and costly than had ever before appeared in that latitude. Brunetta languished at the sight, and could by no means come up to the bravery of her antagonist. She communicated her anguish of mind to a faithful friend, who by an interest in the wife of Phillis's merchant, procured a remnant of the same silk for Brunetta. Phillis took pains to appear in all public places where she was sure to meet Brunetta. Brunetta was now prepared for the insult, and came to a public ball in a plain black silk mantua, attended by a beautiful negro girl in a petticoat of the same brocade with which Phillis was attired. This drew the attention of the whole company, upon which the unhappy Phillis swooned away, and was immediately conveyed to her house. As soon as she came to herself, she fled from her husband's house, went on board a ship in the road, and is now landed in inconsolable despair at Plymouth.

POSTSCRIPT.

After the above melancholy narration, it may perhaps be a relief to the reader to peruse the following expos tulation.

TO MR. SPECTATOR.

• The just Remonstrance of affronted THAT.

THOUGH I deny not the petition of Messrs. WHO and WHICH,* yet you should not suffer them to be rude, and to call honest people names: for that bears very hard on some of those rules of decency which you are justly famous for establishing. They may find fault, and correct speeches in the senate, and at the bar; but let them try to get themselves so often and with so much eloquence repeated in a sentence, as a great orator doth frequently introduce me.

* NO. 78.

1

My lords! (says he) with humble submission, That That I say is this; That, That That That gentleman has advanced, is not That That he should have proved to your Lordships. Let those two questionary petitioners try to do this with their Who's and their Whiches.

What great advantage was I of to Mr. Dryden in his Indian Emperor.

"You force me still to answer you in That,"

to furnish out a rhime to Morat? And what a poor figure would Mr. Bayes have made without his " Egad and all That!" How can a judicious man distinguish one thing from another, without saying "This here," or "That there?" And how can a sober man, without using the expletives of oaths, (in which indeed the rakes and bullies have a great advantage over others) make a discourse of any tolerable length, without "That is ;" and if he be a very grave man indeed, without "That is to say?" And how instructive as well as entertaining are those usual expressions in the mouths of great men, "Such things as That," and "The like of That."

I am not against reforming the corruption of speech you mention, and own there are proper seasons for the introduction of other words besides That; but I scorn as much to supply the place of a Who or a Which at every turn, as they are unequal always to fill mine; and I expect good language and civil treatment, and hope to receive it for the future: That, That I shall only add is, That I am

• Yours,

• THAT.'

STEELE,

R.

INDEX.

A

ABIGAILS (male) in fashion among the ladies,

Absence in conversation, a remarkable instance of it in
Will Honeycomb,

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The occasion of this absence, and means to con-

quer it,

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The character of an absent man, out of Bruyere,
Acrostic, a piece of false wit, divided into simple and com-

pound,

Act of deformity, for the use of the Ugly Club,
Advertisements of an Italian chirurgeon,

From St. James's coffee-house,

From a gentlewoman that teaches birds to speak,
From another that is a fine flesh-painter,

Advice; no order of persons too considerable to be ad-

-

vised,
Affectation, a greater enemy to a fine face than the small-

pox,

It deforms beauty, and turns wit into absurdity,
The original of it,

-

Found in the wise man as well as the coxcomb,
The way to get clear of it,

How contemned by the Athenians, and respected by

Age rendered ridiculous,

the Spartans,

Alexander the Great, wry-necked,

Ambition never satisfied,

Americans, their opinion of souls,

No.

45

77

77

60

17

22

24.

36

41

34

33
38

38

38

38

6

32

27

56

56

32

60

57

47

23

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Exemplified in a vision of one of their countrymen,

Ample, (Lady) her uneasiness, and the reason of it,
Anagram, what, and when first produced,
Andromache, a great Fox-hunter,

April (the first of) the merriest day in the year,
Aretine made all the princes of Europe his tributaries
Arietta, her character,

Her fable of the lion and the man, in answer to

the story of the Ephesian matron,

Her story of Inkle and Yarico,

Aristotle, his observation upon the Iambic verse,

Upon tragedies,

Arsinoe, the first musical opera on the English stage
Avarice, the original of it,

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Avarice operates with luxury,
At war with luxury,

Its officers and adherents,

Comes to an agreement with luxury,

Audiences at present void of common sense,
Aurelia, her character,

Author, the necessity of his readers being acquainted with
his size, complexion, and temper, in order to
read his works with pleasure,

His opinion of his own performances,

-

-

The expedient made use of by those that write
for the stage,

B

BACON (Sir Francis) his comparison of a book well

written,

His observation upon envy,

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Bags of money, a sudden transformation of them into
sticks and paper,

Baptist Lully, his prudent management,

Bawdry never writ but where there is a dearth of inven-

tion,

Beaver, the haberdasher, a great politician,

The true secret how to improve beauty,

Then the most charming when heightened by

Beauties when plagiaries,

virtue,

Bell (Mr.) his ingenious device,

Bell-Savage, its etymology,

Birds, a cage full for the opera,

Biters, their business,

Blanks of society, who,

Blackmore (Sir Richard,) his observation,

Blank verse proper for tragedy,

Bohours (Monsieur) a great critic among the French,

Brunetta and Phillis, their adventures,

Bouts Rimez, what,

Breeding, fine breeding distinguished from good,
British Ladies distinguished from the Picts,

Bruyere (Monsieur) his character of an absent man,

to a silly-play,

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Bullock and Norris, differently habited, prove great helps

Butts described,

The qualification of a butt,

C

CESAR (Julius) his behaviour to Catullus, who had put
him into a lampoon,

23

Caligula,

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